She pictured the little garden back at her bungalow. Tomatoes and red peppers. Zucchini. With the image of ripe zucchinis, she was lost.
She opened her lips in welcome. His tongue slid into her mouth, hot and slick. Pure want overwhelmed her, and she forgot what she was about to say. She sank into the kiss while she continued to explore. She threaded her fingers through his short hair. He pulled her closer.
He pulled back. “Now you’ve got the hang of it,” he said, his breath ragged.
“We’re going to regret this—” Dani heard her protest disintegrate under another onslaught of his lips. Desire burned through her body, settling between her legs. Somewhere in her turned-on brain, a warning voice advised her to call a halt to the lip-locking. But it had been so long since a man held her, kissed her, wanted her. Would it hurt to take a few minutes of what might be once-in-a-lifetime pleasure?
She stifled her moan when he ran his hands up the sides of her sweatshirt. No need to alert the rest of the household to their activities. His thumbs pressed into her ribcage just below her breasts, then moved up to skim across her nipples.
Once. Twice. If he did it again, she’d lose her mind.
She broke away from him, gulping air into her lungs in self-resuscitation. “You’re pretty good,” she said when she could breathe again.
“I can be better.” Matt’s voice was as thick as the air outside.
Better? The idea made her limp.
He toyed with the zipper on the front of her sweatshirt. “It’s seventy-two degrees.” He grasped the tab and eased it down an inch.
“What are you doing?”
“Trying to offer you some relief.”
She heard the rasp of the zipper as he exposed more skin. “From the heat?”
“That too.” By the way his blue eyes darkened to navy, he must have discovered a heavy dose of cleavage.
Her belly did a slow somersault. “I’m naked underneath.”
He moaned. “Always wise to get a second opinion.” His muscles flexed when he swallowed, and his pulse beat a rapid rhythm in his temple. He pulled the zipper tab until she felt the sweatshirt part at her waist. An incoherent noise escaped him, and he gripped either side of her shirt, his knuckles resting lightly on her covered breasts. His hands trembled. If he pushed aside the edges of her sweatshirt, she’d be exposed.
She couldn’t breathe. Her heart pounded so fast she could hear the thump of blood in her ears.
Matt shut his eyes and pulled in deep breaths. It looked like he was working overtime trying to gain control. After one long sigh he said, “This isn’t going to happen.” In a single swift move, he fastened her sweatshirt then backed up a few steps. “Not now, not tonight.”
Speaking was impossible. Her stupid heart was lodged where her voice should be. Multiple emotions collided in her head. The one in the lead was disappointment. What she couldn’t figure out was if she regretted what they’d done or what they hadn’t done.
What had she been thinking? Obviously her brain had taken a vacation for the last however many minutes while his tongue explored. Teased. Stirred her into a frenzied fit of lust like she’d never experienced.
With his gaze pinned to hers, he retreated using slow, careful steps like he’d come upon a rattlesnake and was hoping to escape unbitten.
He didn’t get far, as a sleepy-eyed Sam shuffled into the kitchen, startling both of them.
…
“What’s going on, bud?” Matt crossed the room to kneel in front of Sam.
Sam rubbed his head. “I feel weird.”
Matt ushered the boy to the table. “Have a seat. Let’s figure this out.”
Matt closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose. He could deal with this. As sheriff, he handled urgent situations every day on the job. He mentally paged through his crash course on diabetes. He took in Sam’s pale skin tone, his cold, clammy flesh. “Low blood sugar.”
Matt pulled up the bottom of his T-shirt to wipe the sweat off his face. He was the father. His job was to fix this. He had to make Sam better. “He needs insulin.” He headed for the insulin supply in the fridge.
Dani stilled him with a hand on his arm. “Take a second. Think about it, Matt. What does insulin do?”
His brain raced through the information he’d learned over the past few days. Did Sam need insulin? Matt recalled a classroom session about low blood sugar. No. Not insulin. That would drop Sam’s blood sugar even more. His level needed to rise. “I need to check his blood-sugar level. If it’s low, he needs some juice or a glucose tablet.”
Dani smiled and nodded.
“And then I need to take his blood sugar again.”
“Perfect.” Dani beamed like Matt was a star pupil.
Except he wasn’t a star. More like a failure. He’d almost unnecessarily given his son insulin. Sam’s blood sugar would have dropped to a dangerous level. If Dani hadn’t been there, would Matt have figured it out on his own? He’d like to think so, yet lately he’d made a lot of stupid mistakes.
Except for asking Dani to help out. That had proved to be his smartest decision in a long time—until his hormones had taken over and he’d planted his lips on hers. At least he’d had enough brain cells to walk away.
Fifteen minutes later, Sam smiled up at Matt. “I feel okay now.”
“Let’s recheck your blood sugar.” Once again, he sent Dani a questioning glance.
She nodded.
At the normal reading, he took what felt like his first breath since Sam had entered the kitchen. “Okay, bud.” Matt ruffled Sam’s hair. “Guess we did all right.” Matt’s reward was an admiring look from Sam. “Time to get you back to bed.”
Sam’s glance skipped over Matt to land on Dani. “Will you come with me?”
In a silent question, she raised her eyebrows to Matt. He nodded. “I’ll check on you soon, buddy.”
Warmth shone bright in Dani’s eyes. What would it feel like to have her direct such affection toward him?
She smiled and held out her hand to Sam. “I’d love to.”
Chapter Ten
Head bent, elbows resting on his thighs, Matt sat on one of the Adirondack chairs bordering his backyard pond. While Sam and Dani said their good nights, he figured he’d sit outside with the bugs. Wallow in self-doubt and guilt. Maybe throw a little shame into the mix, too. What started out as an innocent, relaxing evening had turned into a lust-a-thon followed by a near medical emergency.
He’d failed both events.
Sam’s diabetes was serious. There were consequences to everything he ate. Everything he did or didn’t do. The penalty for failure could mean life or death. Sure, Matt intended to learn everything he could to care for Sam, but Dani provided backup. Pretty soon she would go back home. Matt’s gut stirred at the reminder. He couldn’t count on her forever.
Dani cleared her throat as she approached behind him.
“Figured you might finally want to eat.” She reached his chair and set two plates of food down on the small wooden table to his left.
“Thanks.”
“You did great with Sam.”
He rubbed the back of his hand across his mouth. “Sure, by almost giving him insulin when he didn’t need it?”
“You’ve been playing double duty as his only parent. I know you’ve had a little help from your mom, but you’ve essentially been a single parent. You must be doing a lot of things right because Sam is an incredible little boy.”
“I couldn’t remember how to care for him.”
“Yeah, this one time. But you’re trained in handling crises, and I have no doubt that the next time the situation comes up, you’ll manage it with a clear head.”
He gave her a nod of thanks that didn’t quite register in his brain. Seemed like he’d been doing a lot of second-guessing in his life lately.
She reached into her sweatshirt pockets and pulled out two beers. When she bent to place them on the table, he caught her scent. She smelled like fresh air. Pur
e. Simple. He now knew from experience that her skin was soft and warm, like she’d just come in from the sun.
Where in the hell had his brain been earlier? How could he have believed that sampling the lips of a certain sassy nurse was in any way a good idea? Matt allowed his gaze to wander to her face, landing on her full lips. He was haunted by her taste, sweeter than anything he’d ever sampled.
Easing into the other chair, she popped open her beer, then raised the bottle to her lips. The condensation slid down the can, onto her throat before slipping beneath her sweatshirt. His fingers curled against the chair’s armrests. His nails sank into the soft wood as he remembered how her body had brought his to life. His mind rewound to the moment he’d taken hold of her zipper, revealing the pale skin of her breasts with each tug.
Dani stabbed at some fruit and threw him a sideways glance. “Not hungry?”
Starved. But he’d have to go for his second choice and eat the meal she’d prepared. He two-handed his sandwich—on bread, not buns—and finished in a few bites.
Funny how good his memory worked to recall his lust. Maybe he should start taking that memory herb his mother was always trying to push on him. He needed to remember that he wasn’t in the market for a fling no matter how hot the woman.
“Look, about earlier,” he said, his voice straightforward. He nodded toward the house.
Dani held up a hand in a stop gesture. “You don’t need to go further. We made a mistake—one not to be repeated. We both know that.”
True, but why did hearing her admit it bring him down?
“Yeah.” Matt cleared his throat. “Let’s stick with simple flirtation. It’s fun. Nobody gets hurt. Nothing wrong with harmless teasing, especially if we both know it won’t lead anywhere.”
“Right.” Dani took a bite of her sandwich.
Someday. Someday after things with Sam settled down and he was ready for a woman in his life, he’d be sure to make the perfect choice. He wanted to really know a woman before getting involved, to make sure there would be no surprises. No deception.
He didn’t want to repeat his disastrous marriage. He wanted someone he could trust. Someone different than Gina. Someone who would love his son.
He assumed he’d known what he wanted with her. A partnership. A best friend. A lifetime lover. And when the time was right, a mother for his children. With Gina, Matt had been a poor judge of character, and now his confidence was shaken.
…
Dani stood alone in front of the living room fireplace, studying the photographs on the mantel. Multiple various-sized frames ran the length of the shelf. A two-year-old Sam with a spaghetti-stained face smiled back at her. The next picture showed him at about age four holding up a small sunfish by a fishing line. Dani blinked through sudden tears and studied the next photo. Sam and his grandmother stood in front of a school on a sunny summer day. He held a rolled-up piece of paper, closed with a blue ribbon. Dani’s guess was kindergarten graduation.
“I never knew it’d be so hard,” she whispered to herself. “I didn’t know I’d miss this much.” She’d thought endlessly about Sam, especially on birthdays and Christmases—all the major, emotion-provoking holidays. But what about the small occasions? Years’ worth of simple daily events could never be recovered. Yes, they were little things, though added together, they summed up Sam’s life.
And she’d continue to miss out. Because in a few short months, she’d leave Lake Bliss without knowing if she’d ever see Sam again. It’d be unbearable to leave after experiencing the joy of knowing her little boy. Of being in his company. Of loving him. That would be the price she’d have to pay for her deception, even though she’d had no choice but to hide the truth.
Sam and Matt deserved her honesty, but the truth would cost her time spent with her son. If she revealed who she was, Matt would have questions and demand answers she didn’t want to reveal. Information that would only cause pain.
She sniffed and swiped a hand over her eyes. A wet nose nudged her leg. She peered down to see Larry giving her a sympathetic look. “I’m okay, boy.”
While she patted the dog’s head, a small, warm hand slipped into hers. Sam. She dabbed at her face before attempting a smile in his direction. He gave her hand a squeeze.
“Why are you sad?” He glanced at the mantelpiece photos. His attention stalled at the one with his grandmother. “Don’t you have a grandmother?”
“No, honey. All my grandparents have passed away.”
“Do you have a mom?”
Dani shook her head. “Not anymore. My mom died a few months ago.” With her mother’s death, Dani was now alone in the world. No siblings. No aunts or uncles. Totally alone.
Except for Sam, now her only living relative.
“Was your mom a nice person?”
“My mother was wonderful. I loved her very much.”
“Was she your real mom?”
No doubt where this was headed. “Yes, she was.”
“I wonder if my real mom is nice.” Sam crinkled his eyebrows together. A crease formed above his nose. “Probably not or she wouldn’t have let me be adopted.” He hung his head.
His words slashed a hole in Dani’s heart. She wanted to come clean. Wanted to scoop this sweet little boy into her arms and promise to be the nicest mother in the world. To beg his forgiveness for letting him go.
She smoothed a hand over his shoulder. “Women give up their children for many different reasons, honey. It’s hard to understand the decision of adoption. Sometimes they value their child more than themselves. Many times a mother wants what’s best for her child. To give her little boy or girl the best possible life, even if it means giving them to other people.”
“I know the story of my adoption day. Wanna hear it?” Sam’s eyes glowed with excitement. “Dad says it was the happiest day of his life.”
Dani put a hand on the mantel to steady herself. She barely found her voice. “Sure.”
“He and my mom went to somebody’s office that day to get me.”
The attorney’s office, Dani thought. After she’d placed Sam in the nurse’s arms, someone had been designated to turn him over to the adoptive parents.
“Dad says he was so excited. I was little and wrapped in a blanket.”
Blue. A light blue blanket.
“And then the lady said to Dad, ‘I’d like to introduce you to your son.’” Sam aimed his thumb at his chest. “That was me.”
Dani bit her lip.
“He said his heart about stopped because I was so little, and he was scared of hurting me. My hand snuck out of the blanket and grabbed onto his finger.”
No doubt Sam had heard this story many times. It warmed Dani’s heart to hear this version—the happy one. Not the horrible day she’d never been able to forget.
“Then he cried ’cause he was happy.” Sam flashed his adorable grin.
She ruffled his hair. Because she couldn’t help it, she allowed herself a few strokes to smooth it down, forcing her mind to catalogue the softness, the thickness, the chestnut color so she’d have one more memory after she returned home.
“Someday Jack’s gonna build us a guy house right on the lake.”
Dani blinked back tears and smiled. “A guy house?”
“Yep. We get to pick out everything we want. No frilly stuff. We’re even gonna build a long fishing dock.”
“Sounds like a fabulous plan.”
“Dad gets smart ideas, then passes them on to me. I think of plans too.”
“You’re a very bright young man.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Guess it works for us. We don’t mind sharing.”
“He’s a good father, isn’t he?”
Sam’s face lit. “Yep, he’s the best.”
Late that afternoon, Dani handed Elaine measuring spoons and a jar of honey.
Elaine turned wary eyes toward Dani. “I thought we were going to make a cake?”
“We are. Some of the original ingredients in y
our recipe need to be replaced with healthier items.” Dani cast a look at Sam who sat at the kitchen table. He had his index finger at the ready to enter ingredient amounts onto her laptop. Beautiful day, she thought. The sun was bright. The smell of fresh-cut grass blew in with the breeze. And she had her little boy at her side.
Elaine shoved her hands in her apron pockets. “I’ve never heard of that before.”
“You’ll love it. The honey provides texture to the cake and adds moisture.” Dani smiled at Elaine. “This will come darn close to tasting like yours.” The bonus will be dodging a sugar-induced coma for anyone eating a piece.
Elaine grudgingly took the honey and poured out the right amount. After measuring the rest of the ingredients, she stirred the mix with a large wooden spoon. Elaine beamed. “That was easy.” She popped the cake in the oven and set the timer. “Let’s try another when it’s done.”
They sat in the kitchen drinking lemonade with Sam, and Elaine shuffled through her recipe box. Without meeting Dani’s eyes, Elaine said, “I want to thank you. I must admit I was skeptical about learning to cook differently. Life used to be so much easier. Nobody had to worry about healthy cooking.” She rubbed a hand down the back of Sam’s head. “But I’d do anything for this little guy.”
Dani patted Elaine’s arm. “I understand. Change is hard. And I hope I never made you feel like I was replacing you.”
“I guess I’m territorial about my kitchen. It’s nice after so many years as a widow to feel needed again.”
Dani understood that in spades. Wasn’t it a basic human need to feel useful? To feel like you belonged somewhere? She pushed aside those thoughts because she had no idea what her future held in that regard.
The finished cake was cooling on a plate when a soft knock sounded at the back door, and Gina cracked it open. “I’m leaving town. I wanted to say good-bye.”
“Come on in. I’m learning how to alter recipes for Sam,” Elaine said, pride evident in her voice. “Dani might add them to her cookbook. My name would be included, too.”
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