by Unknown
“I’m scared of heights,” Victoria admits, biting her lip.
“I’ll do it,” I say. “This is pretty much one of those once in a lifetime kind of things. Vive el moment.”
“What does that mean?” she asks.
“It’s Spanish for live the moment.”
“You speak Spanish?” Gabe asks me.
“Un poco. My mom was learning it when I moved to California, and I learned a few things from her,” I answer. “I should learn it though. It would probably come in handy since we live in California.”
“Probably,” he agrees. “So, Victoria, you are going to come cliff dive with us, right?”
I can see her shoulders tense up. “I don’t know. It sounds fun, but I am scared of heights. The thought of plunging toward water frightens me too.”
“At least come with us,” I say. “If you decide you don’t want to jump then I won’t pressure you. But maybe you will decide it isn’t so scary after all. Either way, it’ll be fun.”
“I will,” she says. “How high is it, anyway?”
“I think it’s about forty-five feet high,” Toby answers in a very nonchalant voice.
Victoria’s eyes widen suddenly. “I’m not going anywhere close to the edge of that cliff.”
“My mission for this trip is to help you conquer your fear of heights,” Toby tells her. “We are going to start from lower down. It’s about ten feet, and it’s not scary at all.”
“Maybe,” she says, but the look in her eyes says no way. If anybody can talk her into it, it’s Toby.
I think about what Gabriel said last night. I wonder if he’s analyzing everything she says. I know that it’s a waste of time, because Victoria isn’t my stalker.
My phone chimes with a text message, and I pull out my phone to read it.
Blocked ID: You think your dad is so great. Let me assure you, he’s not. Ask him who he shared his bed with seven years ago BESIDES his wife. His answer may surprise you.
What?
This can’t be true.
Gabe sees my panicked face and grabs the phone from my hands.
“What’s going on?” Victoria asks the two of us. I can see the concern on her face, and I’m not sure how to reply.
“It’s not true,” Gabe tells me, ignoring Victoria.
Toby snatches the phone from Gabe’s hand just as another text comes through. Toby’s face turns white, and he turns the phone towards Gabe and me. It’s a picture of my dad and some girl I’ve never seen before. They’re in bed together.
I grab my phone back and reply to the text message.
Me: Who are you?
Blocked ID: You’re asking all the wrong questions, Kihanna.
Me: Who is the girl in the picture?
Blocked ID: Much better. The female is Julie Newman. Name sound familiar?
“Who is Julie Newman?” I ask them. “Is she related to Ty?”
“Julie was Ty’s mom,” Toby says. “She’s the girl in the photo. She was murdered about seven years ago.”
Right when the affair happened.
Ty said he watched his mom get killed. Does that mean he knows who the murderer is? Was my dad involved with the murder? Immediately I feel bad for thinking it, but it doesn’t stop me from asking.
Me: Was my dad involved with the murder?
Blocked ID: That isn’t the point. You’re missing the big picture here.
Me: Explain it to me, please.
Blocked ID: You must figure it out for yourself. You just needed to know the truth about your so called happy family.
By the way, congratulations! I heard you were going to be a big sister.
I hand my phone to Gabe.
“How do they know? We haven’t told anybody yet.” I am trying to keep my voice at a normal level, but on the inside I am screaming. How dare this person try to ruin my family! First they tried to ruin my relationship with Gabe. When that didn’t work, they went after the next thing.
“What is going on?” Victoria asks again.
Gabe looks up at her. I can tell he had pretty much forgotten that she was in the same vehicle. “You knew,” he says accusingly.
“Whoa,” Toby says. “You’re not seriously going to blame my girlfriend, are you?”
“Girlfriend?” Victoria snorts. “Not likely. And what the heck are you trying to blame on me? I just want to know what is going on.”
“All the text messages, the notes, the threats… it is you,” Gabe says.
“It’s not Victoria,” I tell him. “It’s not logical. Victoria has been here the whole time. How could she send these messages? It’s not her, Gabriel. You’re just so desperate to find the answer that you’re willing to blame any and everyone.”
“Of course I am!” Gabe is now yelling. “I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to you. What happens if it’s not a close call next time? What if this sicko really kills you? They’ve already killed Jacqueline and sent somebody to try to kill you. What is stopping them from coming after you again? They just want to mess with your head beforehand. What kind of sick game is this person playing?”
“I wish I knew,” I say. “But you can’t blame Victoria out of desperation.”
“You’re trying to blame me for Jacqueline’s murder? What kind of person do you think I am?” Victoria asks Gabe. “And what the heck is going on? Do you guys know who killed Jacqueline?”
“Sort of,” Toby tell her. Then he explains to her everything that has been going on. She knew too much already, so it just makes sense to tell her everything from the beginning. Once Toby is done talking, Victoria sits there in silence for a minute.
“Wow,” she finally says. “I can’t believe all that you’ve been going through. How can you even function? I would be paralyzed with fear if this were happening to me.”
“I just really want to live,” I tell her.
“I’m sorry that I blamed you,” Gabe says. “I am just very desperate to figure out who it is.”
“I can’t fault you for that,” Victoria says, pushing a few loose bangs out of her eyes. “I still just can’t believe this is happening to you, Kihanna.”
I frown. “Yeah, this has pretty much been my life for the past month. It’s been stewing longer, obviously, but until Thanksgiving I was blissfully unaware.”
Victoria reaches out and squeezes my hand. “I am here for you. No matter what.”
“Right now, you should pretend that we never had this conversation. The less you know, the better. I don’t want my stalker coming after you too. Once we step out of this limo, the subject should be completely off limits.”
She nods her head. “Okay.”
My mind goes back to the photo of Dad and Julie Newman, and I suddenly feel sick to my stomach. Did he really cheat on Veronica with Julie? And if he did, will it be the end of their marriage? The thought breaks my heart, but then I suddenly feel panic. If Veronica leaves, so will Toby. He can’t go. He’s my best friend.
The thought doesn’t leave my mind the whole way to Hana, Maui.
7am
Maybe.
When we arrive, I’m surprised to see that we are all going to be staying at the same house. I’m glad that Gabe’s family and my family are so close, but I can’t help but wonder if they ever get sick of each other. One can only spend so much time with somebody before they get sick of them. But I guess it works for them.
The house that we are staying at my dad owns, which doesn’t surprise me. It’s a huge house, and it sits high on the side of the mountain. My room faces down, and the view is breathtaking. I have a huge window, and all I can see is lush green trees. At the bottom of the hill, I can see the sparkling blue ocean. Now that the sun is out, I can see it clearer. Somehow the ocean here looks different than it does in California, even though it’s the same Pacific Ocean.
But even with the beauty distracting me, there is something in the back of my mind that keeps nagging me. I leave my room and set out to find my dad, because I need
answers. Somehow I need my dad to tell me that everything is going to be okay, or that it’s not true. The pictures could have been manipulated in a photo editor, but something deep inside is telling me that this did happen.
When I get to Dad and Veronica’s room, Veronica is lying in bed, reading a book. I feel bad for her. She’s spent her whole vacation sick. Dad is looking out the window. I can tell he’s deep in thought.
“Hey, Kihanna,” Veronica greets me. She has a huge smile on her face, and she’s literally glowing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so happy before.
“How are you feeling?” I ask her.
“Better,” she answers. “I’ve been drinking Sprite and eating saltines. Hopefully I will feel better soon. The morning sickness is worse than it was when I was pregnant with Toby.”
Dad looks over at me. “How do you like it here?”
“It’s gorgeous,” I say. “But I was wondering if I could talk to you alone for a second.”
“Okay,” he says. He opens the French doors that lead out to a balcony and motions me to go ahead of him. “After you.”
My heart is pounding fast and hard against my chest. For a moment I almost chicken out, but I know I can’t. The second the door shuts, I blurt out the question. “Did you cheat on Veronica with Julie Newman seven years ago?”
Dad looks at me for a moment, completely stunned. Once he has time to process my question, he looks away from me. It’s then that I know it’s true. He did cheat on Veronica.
“I did,” he says, not trying to deny it.
“Why?” I ask, wondering what could possibly make somebody want to cheat on their wife. He and Veronica look so happy. It’s hard for me to imagine them any other way.
“Because I was selfish,” he answers. “Veronica and I were fighting a lot at that time. We couldn’t have kids, and we were going to doctor appointments two to three times a week. It was a very rough time in our marriage. In a way, I felt like Veronica blamed me. She already had a kid, and there was nothing stopping her from having another one. At the time I didn’t know about you, so I guess I sort of thought it was my fault too. The doctor said there was nothing stopping us from having kids, but I didn’t believe him. At the same time, Julie was having marriage problems of her own. We both had a little too much to drink one night and it just happened. It was a one-time only thing, and I regretted it immediately.”
“Does Veronica know?” I ask.
“No,” he answers. “I was going to tell her, but a week after it happened Julie died. I didn’t see the point in bringing it up after that. I didn’t think anybody knew.”
“Well, somebody knows.” I show my dad the picture, but don’t let him see anymore of the text messages.
“Who sent this to you?”
“I don’t know. It was from a blocked number, but it came through when I was in the car with Gabe, Toby, and Victoria. They all know. Gabe grabbed the phone from my hand before I could stop him. He knew that… something… had upset me.”
Dad doesn’t respond for a few seconds. He looks over at me, and I can tell he’s mortified. “I’m sorry that you had to find out like this. I know you must think I’m an awful person, and I deserve that. What I did was wrong.”
“It isn’t me you should apologize to,” I tell him. “I will always love you, no matter what. You’re my father and I will always stand behind you. But I think maybe this should stay between us. Toby, Gabe, and Victoria won’t say anything.”
“No. I need to tell Veronica. This has put a wedge in our marriage for quite some time. I need to man up and face the consequences,” he says.
I put my arms around him, and give him a hug. “It will all work out,” I say, even though I’m scared that it won’t. What if Veronica decides to leave him? I dumped Ty when I found out he cheated on me. What would keep Veronica from walking away?
The baby.
Maybe.
But then again, maybe not.
8am
This sucks.
As soon as I leave Dad and Veronica’s room, I head to see Toby. I’m thankful that Victoria isn’t in there. I take a seat on his red bean bag chair and wonder what I am supposed to tell him about my dad.
“It’s true, isn’t it,” Toby says. It isn’t a question.
I nod my head, because I don’t want to say yes.
“Does my mom know?”
“Not yet,” I answer. “Dad is going to tell her though.”
Toby doesn’t say anything back, and for a moment I am worried. Veronica is his mom. Dad and I are just step-family. He’s going to side with his mom and whatever she decides. What if she decides she doesn’t want Dad and me in her life anymore? That would mean Toby wouldn’t be a part of my life, and just thinking about it makes my chest tighten. I try to take a deep breath, but I can’t.
“Toby,” I say, breaking the moment of silence. Tears are starting to fill my eyes, and I try to blink them away. I try to continue talking, but I don’t know what to say. Words can’t describe how I feel.
“It’s not your fault,” he says. “And no matter what happens, you will always be my sister.”
His words relieve me, and they frighten me. We are already talking about the what if. “I don’t want things to change. I like it the way it is. Veronica is a second mom to me, and if she leaves my dad…” I will never see her again.
“My mom loves you. She won’t just abandon…” his voice cuts off, because he knows I’m right. When you divorce somebody, you are also divorcing that person’s children. If Veronica leaves, I won’t be seeing her. And as much as Toby thinks I will be seeing him, I probably won’t.
“Yes, she will,” I say. “Divorces never work out good for the children involved.”
“You’re not a child,” he says back. “Next year you’ll be going off to college, and a year later I am following you. Even if they get divorced, they wouldn’t stop us from seeing each other. You’re my sister. Besides, we don’t know what’s going to happen. My mom put up with a lot of bad crap from my biological dad. Sleeping with other women was something he did on a weekly basis, and he hit her.”
“Your mom is different now. She’s stronger and more confident.”
“Thanks to your dad,” he says. “So what, he had an affair with somebody seven years ago. The woman is dead now.”
“It was a one-time thing,” I tell him.
Toby gives me a look that says he doesn’t believe me. “Kihanna, you are so naive.”
“That is what Dad told me, and I believe him.”
“Okay.” He looks away for a second, and when he looks back at me he is smiling. “So, today we are going cliff diving. And I am going to convince Victoria to jump with me.”
It takes a lot of effort to smile back. “Good luck with that.”
“Are you really going to jump, or are you going to chicken out?”
“I won’t chicken out,” I tell him confidently. “Mom and me went skydiving once. If I can do that, this should be a piece of cake.”
“You went skydiving?” Toby’s eyes widen in surprise.
“Yep. On my fifteenth birthday. I tried to chicken out at the last minute, but my mom wouldn’t let me. It took her thirty minutes to convince me to go for it. It was the best experience of my life, and I am so glad I did it. We also did it the next year when I turned sixteen.”
“So did you do it by yourself?” he asks.
“No. I was strapped to a trained instructor. All I had to do was enjoy the fall. Mom did it too — she thought the instructor she had was hot. It was weird and hilarious all at the same time.” I laugh at the memory. My mom was such a flirt.
“I feel like such a loser in comparison to you.”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah right, Toby. You’ve been everywhere, and I haven’t been outside of the United States. My mom wanted me to experience life, so she did the best she could. But you… you’ve had a dream life.”
“This life isn’t as great as you’ve made it out to be,” he says.
“But your mom sounds great. It sucks that you’ve had to miss out on so much time with your dad, but it sounds like your life was pretty great. Maybe what your mom did was for the best.”
“Why do you say that?”
“This life changes people. And I really thought that Mark Evers was different, but he’s not. He’s just like everybody else around here,” he says.
Hearing him talk bad about my dad hurts, but he has a right. My dad is going to hurt his mom so bad when he tells her. “He made a mistake, but he is my dad. He’s the only parent that I have left. I will love him and stand by him no matter what.”
“I know,” he says. I can hear the sadness in his voice. “But my mom is the only parent I have left too.”
“This sucks.”
“Yes, it does.”
“No matter what happens, promise nothing will change between us.” I look at Toby, waiting for him to do exactly what I said.
“I can’t,” he says. “But I can promise you that we will always be a part of each other’s lives. You’re my sister and nothing can change that.”
I give him a hug, and he squeezes me back.
“I love you, Toby.”
“I love you too.”
With that, I turn and walk out of his room. I’m scared if I stay in there another minute, I will break down and cry. I don’t want to cry in front of Toby again.
2pm
No regrets.
That afternoon, we all decide to go cliff diving. I’m excited to do it because I don’t want to think anymore. I keep wondering if Dad and Veronica will be okay. I keep wondering if our family will be okay. So this is the perfect way to get my mind off of all the bad stuff.