by Unknown
Wow. Four kids. “I am an only child,” I say, feeling slightly overwhelmed.
Brandon and Miranda laugh.
“Welcome to the family,” Brandon says.
Brian introduces me to the rest of his sisters. I already know Olivia, so I tell her a quick hello, and then he introduces me to his thirteen-year-old sister, Melissa. She’s currently texting, and barely glances up at me when he makes the introduction.
Olivia grabs her phone and then they begin to fight.
“You can’t play on your phone today. Mom said so. Besides, you’re being rude,” Olivia tells her.
Melissa rolls her eyes, and then looks at me. “So your Brian’s girlfriend?”
“Friend,” Olivia corrects her.
“But you’re going to be his girlfriend or else he wouldn’t have brought you,” she says.
I look over at Brian who just shrugs. I guess he’s used to his family embarrassing him.
“I like your dress,” she says. “The way you dress kind of reminds me of Blair from Gossip Girl. Except you obviously aren’t dating a Chuck Bass.”
Olivia laughs. “She used to.”
“We must be soul mates or something. Except now you’re dating my brother, which is a big step down from a Chuck Bass,” Melissa says.
“Trust me when I say that dating a guy like Chuck Bass isn’t always a good thing,” I tell her. “Besides, it’s not like I went for Dan Humphrey. Brian is more like a Nate.”
“You speak Gossip Girl,” she says, dreamily. “You are seriously my new BFF.”
Olivia gives Melissa back her phone, and her attention goes back to whomever she’s texting.
“The world doesn’t exist outside of her phone,” Olivia tells me. “But I think you’re right about Brian being a Nate. Except the whole sleeping with older girls thing.”
“I’m taking Kihanna away from you before you completely spill all of my secrets, little sis.” He grabs my hand. It’s the first time he’s ever touched me in an intimate way, and I feel the sensation through my whole body. The whole time I’m thinking, I never felt this way with Gabe.
The last person he introduces me to is his eleven-year-old sister, Emily. She’s sitting in a recliner by the fireplace reading Pretty Little Liars. She shuts her book when she sees us.
“So you’re my brother’s new girlfriend,” she says. “How old are you?”
I don’t correct her calling me his girlfriend. I’m not, but everybody here assumes that I am. “I’m seventeen.”
“Aren’t you a little… young?” She pushes her glasses up on her nose.
Emily is adorable. She is the only one in the family with blond hair, and it’s currently in two braids. She has blue eyes, like Brandon, and she’s wearing dark-framed glasses. I didn’t think she would be the one to interrogate me.
“Three years really isn’t so bad,” Brian tells her.
She turns her attention back to me. “You’re awfully dressed up.”
It’s true. Everybody else is either in their pajamas or in blue jeans. “I didn’t get the memo that this was casual.”
“Why wouldn’t Christmas be casual?” she asks, like it’s weird that I dressed up.
“My family does the holidays a little different,” I tell her.
“So everybody has to wear dresses?”
I nod.
“That sucks,” she says. “I hate when Mom makes me wear dresses.”
“You get used to it,” I say, thinking of the number of times Veronica forced me to wear expensive dresses to different events.
She gives me a sympathetic look, and then goes back to reading her book.
“You’ve met everybody, except my grandma and grandpa,” he says. “They usually come over around noon.”
I let a sigh of relief slip out. “That wasn’t so bad.”
“They loved you,” he says.
Love. How easily he says that word. “I doubt they love me yet. But it does seem that none of them dislike me, so I’d say we’re off to a good start.”
“I don’t know. I’m pretty sure Jennifer is in love with you.”
This causes me to smile. “That’s only because you told her I was a princess.”
“She asked if you were one,” he says. “I couldn’t crush her dream. Besides, you do look like a princess in that dress.”
My face grows warm at the compliment. “Maybe next time we go to one of your family functions you could advise me on what to wear. Your little sister is wearing pajamas, and I’m kind of jealous. She looks comfortable.”
“I couldn’t ask you to change out of that dress,” he says. “Maybe it was selfish of me, but you look much too beautiful.”
“I would say that flattery does you no good, but it would be a lie. You’re too charming to resist.”
He smiles, just as his mom and dad come out to tell us breakfast is ready. The kids race to the kitchen, and Brian motions me forward ahead of him. I can’t help but feel jealous. He has the perfect family — lots of nieces and nephews, siblings, and loving parents. I know that his real dad died, but he’s lucky to have such a great stepdad.
I was supposed to have this with my dad. Family. And I did for a while. I have no clue what life is going to be like after Toby gets back from Hawaii. Will we continue on our life as before… like nothing happened? That is the best I can hope for, but deep down I know it won’t be the same. Never again. That scares me.
Brian’s mom went all out for Christmas, but I settle on French toast and some bacon. Brian piles food on his plate, which makes me think he must work out a lot to burn the extra calories. Maybe not though. Toby eats like that at every meal, and all he does is sit around the house playing video games. It seems completely unfair that guys, who don’t care about their weight, don’t have to worry. And girls, who definitely care, have to watch what they eat. I feel lucky though. I’ve never had to worry. My mom always complained about being heavy, but she never wore bigger than a size eight. My dad doesn’t seem to have a weight problem either. Maybe I will be one of the lucky ones.
11am
Sittin’ in a tree.
After breakfast, I try to help Susan with the dishes, but she won’t hear of it. She says my dress is much too pretty to mess up doing dishes. I don’t bother telling her that I will probably never wear it again, and that I have a hundred more like it at home.
“Seriously, I don’t mind helping,” I tell her again.
“You should just hang out with Brian. I’ll make my girls do the dishes,” she says. “I’ve never seen him smile so much. I don’t want to take away any of his time with you.”
Her words make me smile. “Okay, but next time I am helping.”
“Deal,” she says.
I go into the living room where Brian is, just in time to see his grandparents walk in the door. All the little kids run up to them, and there is a lot of yelling going on.
I’ve never had grandparents before. My mom’s parents died in a car accident when she was just a teenager, so I never got the chance to meet them. And my dad had a single mom, so he never knew his own dad. His mom died just a few years ago. I’m sad that I never got to meet her. As for Veronica, she’s never said anything about her parents, but I don’t think she’s on speaking terms with them from what Toby said.
Once all the little kids clear out, Brian gives each of them a hug, and then introduces me.
“This is Kihanna,” he tells them and turns to me. “These are my grandparents, Wendy and Jay Asher.”
Both of his grandparents give me a hug, which surprises me.
“Whose Porche is that outside?” Jay asks Brian.
“It’s Kihanna’s car,” he answers.
“It’s a very nice car,” he tells me. “What do you do for a living?”
I clear my throat awkwardly. “I’m actually still in high school. I’m a senior. I haven’t decided exactly what I want to do yet.”
Olivia comes up and puts her arm around me. “Her dad is Mark Evers.”
Jay and Wendy both look at her, completely clueless.
“The billionaire. He’s the creator of Staying Connected,” she says.
“Oh,” they both say, and then look at me. Now they’re looking at me differently. They’re probably wondering what I’m doing here with their grandson, though if my dad knew I was here he’d probably be thinking the same thing… Except it would be, why is she hanging out with the pool boy?
“Don’t you clean his pool?” Jay asks Brian.
He nods. “That’s where we met.”
“I just recently moved in with my dad,” I tell them. I’m not sure why, but I need them to know I’m not a spoiled rich kid. “I never met my dad, but when my mom got sick she sent me to live here. I’m from St. Louis.”
“I hope your mom is okay,” Wendy says sympathetically.
“She died, actually.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” I can tell from the look on Wendy’s face that she is truly sympathetic. It’s then that their names click. Wendy and Jay Asher. They are Brian’s dad’s parents. I can’t begin to imagine how hard it would be to lose a child — a parent was hard enough.
We all go on to talk about happier things, and soon after we all settle into the living room to watch a Christmas movie. The little kids all sit on the floor in front of the TV, and I sit beside Brian. Sometime during the movie, he grabs my hand, and a warm feeling comes over me. I can’t help but think that it wasn’t like this with Gabe. And suddenly I’m wishing my mom were still alive. She would know what to say. Is it normal to feel different about each guy? Or maybe I’m just using Brian to get over Gabriel? No. That’s not true. What I feel for Brian is completely separate from my feeling for Gabe.
I wonder if it’s possible to love two guys at once. And then immediately after I wonder if I even still love Gabe.
I try to imagine my future, and when I do I picture myself here with Brian’s family. That scares me. Because no matter how much I loved Gabe, I never imagined our future together. Whenever his mom would say anything about marriage, it would make me sick to my stomach. It shouldn’t feel that way.
Maybe, despite my feelings for Gabe, I like Brian more. Which is strange, because I loved Gabe. I don’t love Brian yet, but my feelings for him are different.
“What are you thinking?” Brian whispers to me.
“About you,” I whisper back.
“Good or bad?” he asks.
I hesitate for a second, just because I want to make him sweat. “Good.”
“And what’s so good about the thoughts.”
“I’m just imaging the future,” I say, but immediately want the words back. I wasn’t supposed to admit that to Brian. Saying stuff like that could scare him away. It would scare any normal guy away.
“So you imagine me in your future?”
I bite my lip but nod.
“Good. Because when I think of the future, I imagine you in it as well.”
“Does it seem too soon to be feeling like this?” I ask him. I’m glad that I didn’t scare him off.
“Maybe,” he says. “But my heart doesn’t care that it’s too soon.”
I can’t help but smile at his words. It’s a magical moment until his little sister, Melissa, starts singing, ‘Brian and Kihanna sittin’ in a tree…’ Brian’s face turns red, but he scoots closer to me. And I can’t help but think I do want to kiss him. Not in front of his family, of course, but soon.
3pm
He’s right.
After the movie, all the guys go down to the basement to play pool. I want to go with Brian, but I don’t want to intrude on family traditions, so I hang out upstairs with Brian’s mom, sisters, and sister-in-law.
I’m sitting on the couch by his sister-in-law, Miranda. She’s holding their three month old, and I can’t help but smile. Something about babies just makes me happy, then sad. I feel sad for my little brother or sister. I just want our family to be fixed before he or she is born. Not for me. For the baby, because I already love the baby.
“Do you want to hold her?” Miranda asks.
I shake my head. “I don’t even know how.”
She laughs. “Well, you have to learn sooner or later.”
Miranda gently puts the baby in my arms and instructs me on what to do. At first I feel tense, but then I realize that this is a lot easier than it looks. Maybe I will make a good big sister.
“My stepmom is pregnant,” I tell her.
“See? You need the practice,” she says.
I look down at the baby in my arms. Her blue eyes are open wide, she’s bald, and she’s drooling a little. Yet, I can’t help but think she’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. She makes a noise as she looks at me. For a second I’m worried she’s going to cry, but then she starts moving around.
“She likes you,” Miranda says.
“How can you tell?” I ask.
“Well, she’s not crying,” she answers. “And she’s smiling. Tiffany usually doesn’t take to strangers well.”
“She’s beautiful,” I tell her.
“I know.” Miranda looks at her daughter with such love and compassion. “Do you plan on having kids?”
“I’ve never actually thought about it,” I answer. “I was raised by a single mom, and she was always telling me how important it is to get an education before having children. I don’t think she wanted me to struggle through life like she did. It seems almost silly now, knowing who my father is. If she would have just told him, her life would’ve been far less complicated.”
“I’m sure she was just thinking of you,” she tells me. “Your dad is rich. If he would’ve wanted custody of you, it wouldn’t have been a problem for him. Maybe she was afraid to lose you.”
“My dad wasn’t always rich,” I counter. “But honestly, as weird as it sounds, in the beginning I think she did it for him. She thought knowing me would just hold him back. And maybe she’s right, but it wasn’t fair of her to decide for him.”
“Are you mad at her for keeping you from him?”
“I didn’t think I was,” I answer her. “But now, I’m not so sure. I can’t help but wonder how my life would’ve been. It doesn’t matter now though. She’s dead, so it’s pointless to stay mad at her.”
“It’s okay to be angry sometimes, even at those you love.”
Before I get a chance to respond, Brian’s mom sees me holding Tiffany and then runs off to get her camera. She says that I look too cute holding a baby. I really hope that she isn’t suggesting something.
“I was eighteen when I had Nick,” Miranda tells me as Susan runs into the other room.
Oh, God. She is suggesting something.
“I want to go to college before I have children,” I tell her. I feel a little panicky as I say it. What if Brian wants to have a baby? I’m only seventeen, and I’m not ready for anything more than a boyfriend right now — even that is pushing it. Am I too young for him?
“You should,” she says. “Brandon and I didn’t plan it. We got married right away. He has a good job, so I stayed home. Then after Nick, I had Jennifer. I love being a mom. I know I already have four kids and I’m only twenty three, but I want more.”
“Four kids is a lot.”
“I was an only child,” she says. “I see how close Brandon is to his siblings, and I want that for my kids. I want a big family.”
I liked being an only child, but that was before I knew what I was missing out on. Toby made me realize how awesome it was having a brother, and now that I have another sibling on the way I can’t help but be excited.
“I think I’ll have two kids,” I say.
I wonder if my mom ever wanted more children. She never talked about it, but she also never dated. Maybe if she met a man that she loved she would have had another child, but it’s too late to think about that now… If she could redo her life, I wonder what she would do differently. And then I think if I could redo my life, what would I do differently? The thing about life is we
don’t get second chances. All I can do is learn from my mistakes in the past.
Susan runs into the room with the camera in her hand. She snaps quite a few photos, smiling.
“Maybe you and Brian can babysit for Brandon and me sometime,” she says excitedly. “We hardly ever get to go out on dates. It’s hard to find somebody willing to babysit four children.”
Me? Babysit? Ha. I don’t even do my own laundry. Or clean my own room. How can I be responsible for another human being? I’m about to tell her so when Brian walks into the room. He smiles when he sees me holding Tiffany.
“Brian,” Miranda says. “I was just telling Kihanna that you two could babysit for me sometime.”
I give Brian a panicked look, and he laughs. “I don’t want to scare her off just yet.”
Oh thank God. I seriously don’t know what I would’ve done if he agreed to that.
I pass the baby back to Miranda.
“Kihanna and I are going to go actually. We have plans,” Brian tells them.
Plans? I didn’t know about any plans.
The process of leaving Brian’s house is a long one. One where I have to say goodbye to lots of people. There are lots of hugs given. And then Brian’s mom gets my phone number so she can text me, which is weird, but sweet.
When we get out to my car, there is something stuck under the windshield wiper on the passenger side.
“What is that?” Brian asks.
I look at the photo. It’s of Brian and me at the bowling alley last night. There is a note written on the back.
Your pool boy? Really, Kihanna?
I stuff the photo inside my purse.
“It’s nothing.” I get inside the passenger seat without another word. I grab my phone and send a text to my stalker.
Me: We had a deal.
Blocked ID: That deal still stands. I’m just surprised you moved on so quickly.