by Carol Lee
“I hope I can find someone who completes me the way Jack completes Sarah,” Judy whispered to me on my right. She’d arrived with just minutes to spare, already done up and dressed, before the ceremony.
“They really do complement each other,” I agreed as food was laid down in front of us and glasses were once again tinkling with the sound of silverware asking for another kiss from the wedding couple.
“There was a time I didn’t think this day would come, but I couldn’t be happier for them,” Judy added.
“You didn’t think Jack would ask?” I wasn’t sure what she meant.
“I wouldn’t have believed it back in high school,” she offered as an explanation.
“No one really thinks they’ll get married when they’re in high school,” I reasoned.
“They did. But I just didn’t think they were the perfect couple yet. I guess I was wrong,” she said with a smile toward Sarah and Jack. “I’m happy for them.”
“I am too,” I agreed.
Sam – September 2009
“Come to dinner tonight. Bring Judy. This had to have been a hard day for her,” Allen said when we got back down to the parking lot and into our car.
“That’d be great. What can we bring?”
“Nothing. Come empty handed or we’ll turn you away,” he said with a smile, his usual response but I still always asked.
“We’ll see you at six,” I said and we drove back to the station together in silence.
No matter how many cases we’d work on, it was never any easier to find a body and know that you’d soon be notifying a family that a loved one was no longer alive.
***
“I don’t know how you both do it!” Judy exclaimed as soon as we showed up at Allen and Krista’s. “Just one sight was enough to make me know I never want to see another dead person. Ever. And this is your job.”
“Hi Judy. It’s nice to see you too,” Allen said with a smile as he took her coat. We were all essentially family now and it was always good to have Judy back home since she’d moved out of state.
“Krista!” Judy exclaimed as she walked into the kitchen and saw that Krista was pregnant. “You couldn’t have told me over the phone? How many times have we talked since you knew? You must be five months pregnant by the looks of your stomach! I can’t believe you didn’t say anything!”
“Oh, this,” I heard her say with a smile in her voice. “I’m actually only four months along. We just found out it’s twins! We just told our parents so hadn’t gotten around to telling friends yet. But guess what—I’m pregnant!”
“Congratulations!” I said to Allen as we walked in to join them. It had been far too long since I’d seen Krista if I was just learning this now too.
“Thanks man. We’ve been trying for a while now and it’s finally happening. We couldn’t be more excited. Twins will be tough, but we’re just so thrilled about finally having at least one baby on the way, two will be that much more fun, right?” he said skeptically.
“I’ve always heard twins aren’t twice as hard as one baby. They’re three times as hard! But you have such a great support system here with your families and lifetime friends. You’ll have a whole village to help,” Judy reassured them both.
“You had quite the day, I hear,” Krista said, changing the subject.
“Yeah. Does Allen ever tell you the details of his work? I don’t think I could handle hearing it every day. Seeing it once was more than enough,” Judy told Krista as they finished prepping for dinner and Allen and I took beers out back to watch the nightly feast of dragonflies chasing away the last of the mosquitoes.
“Cap said the body was a local,” Allen told me. I hadn’t gone back to the office but had taken the rest of the day off like I’d promised and even visited my mom.
“You recognize her?” I asked, not really wanting to know the answer but knowing I’d find out eventually.
“I haven’t looked yet, tomorrow. They’ll do the final ID using dental records just to be sure before notifying any family. But, Sam, man, how are you?” he finally asked. I’d hoped he would avoid any real confrontation of what had been going on in my life. It was enough to visit my mom, but then to have to talk about the failed relationship on top of that.
“I’m getting by. It can only get easier, right?” I said with false confidence. There was no getting around it: my six-year-relationship with Lynn had ended and I hadn’t wanted it to. I thought everything was going fine, when one day she told me she was leaving. Completely blindsided. That was it. No conversation, no explanation, she was already packed. She left most of her things, said she was too tied down and wanted some adventure. Had to live her life. Even though I’d given her every freedom she could have ever wanted. Never held her back from doing what she wanted. She reminded me of Judy in that way, which was why I was even more shocked when she left. Judy was starting to grow up and take on more responsibility, while Lynn seemed to be regressing. I was still skeptical that it was just an excuse to leave for whatever reason she didn’t want to share.
“How about some ladder golf? We’ll get the girls out here too,” I suggested, lightening the mood from work and failed relationships. I needed a break before I headed back to work in the morning.
Marissa – April 2007
“Welcome home!” Sarah shouted as soon as I walked through the door. She was just as excited as her new puppy, Casino, to have company.
“It’s so good to be back! Every time I visit I wonder why I left,” I said, dropping my two bags inside the door and nearly being knocked off balance by a surprisingly strong puppy.
“Casino, down!” Sarah shouted with no reaction from the dog. He was focused on trying to lick my face even though he had months to go before he’d be big enough to get that high. He didn’t even acknowledge that Sarah had said anything.
“Don’t worry. He’ll learn,” I reassured her as I got down to face level and was covered in kisses from this new complete stranger.
“He was Jack’s idea. Since we hike so much, he thought having a Golden Retriever would be a nice companion. But now we’re leaving for two weeks for our anniversary and of course we couldn’t take him! I don’t know why we didn’t wait until we got back,” she unnecessarily explained.
“It’s really not a problem. I love coming out here and I needed a break anyway. I have a grad student filling in for my lectures while I’m away and there’s plenty of time before graduation where students get worried about exams and actually use my office hours, so it’s perfect timing for me,” I promised her.
“Well, we don’t leave until tomorrow afternoon, so why don’t we get you settled and then you and I can catch up over dinner. Jack is working late to close things out before we leave so he probably won’t be back until nine or ten. Your bedroom is just at the top of the stairs,” Sarah finished as we both picked up a bag and went upstairs.
It was funny being back and not in the house we’d grown up in. Sarah had never left, but since Mom and Dad had moved south to avoid the long New Hampshire winters, I hadn’t visited much. Of course there was the wedding last year, but I’d even stayed in a hotel then. I’d lost touch with friends from grade school who were still in the area and hadn’t wanted to try to work through our years of silence. I enjoyed upstate New York and the life I’d created there, so I didn’t leave much.
***
“I hope you like grilled mushrooms,” Sarah said when I walked into the kitchen to join her.
“Has it really been that long since we’ve spent time together that we can’t remember foods we each enjoy?” I said, laughing. Our inseparable lives in childhood hadn’t continued into adulthood. Aside from the wedding, we’d only chatted on the phone a handful of times and visits were fewer and farther between. Maybe it was the big gap in our ages. Or maybe it was something else. Despite our lack of frequent communication, we had a deep appreciation for the other and truly wanted the best.
“I wouldn’t eat anything besides potato
es and spaghetti until I was in college!” Sarah admitted. “I finally planted a garden last year, nothing like what Mom and Dad had, but it’s a start. And fresh vegetables are so much better than anything you can buy in the store! I had no idea they were feeding us the best!” We both laughed.
“Red or white?” I asked, opening the cupboard door and seeing the options for wine.
“Red. Not warm enough yet for white.”
I took out a bottle with a dog on the label thinking it must be good. I judged wine by the label, not the way true wine connoisseurs were supposed to.
“Marissa, I really can’t thank you enough for coming out at the last minute to stay here. I know you don’t come often, and then to come when we aren’t even going to be here, we really appreciate it.”
“I promise, I wanted to come. So say thanks and let’s move on,” I said, searching for wine glasses.
“Here.” Sarah handed me two. “And thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Have you let anyone know you’re in town for two weeks?” Sarah asked.
“Like who? Even last year at your wedding I hardly saw anyone I knew. It’s been too long and would be too much work to pickup old friendships. We’re completely new people now. When I left after high school, I didn’t look back. You were still only in middle school and you had a great group of friends that you kept in touch with through college. But once Mom and Dad left after you graduated, I had no reason to keep coming back. Until, of course, you moved back after college. It sounds like most of your friends are still here too?” I asked. I didn’t want the spotlight on me and my failed friendships. I knew it was only a matter of time before she asked me about any new relationship in New York. The story was always the same.
“Yeah. Some people tried out other places, but this is home. Always will be for me anyway. Judy, remember her? From the wedding? I don’t know if you knew her before then.” I nodded that I remembered. “She hasn’t stayed. And of everyone I know, I wish she had!”
“Where’d she end up?” I asked.
“She hasn’t ended up anywhere for longer than a few months yet. She’s constantly on the move. Comes back between each move for a little bit, but can’t seem to sit still. She finished college and then hasn’t been able to stay put.”
“Sounds exhausting,” I said, thinking about living out of a backpack. Maybe when I was 20, but not now that I’m 30. “How’s Jack?” I finally asked. I hadn’t seen him since their wedding a year ago and Sarah and I talked infrequently enough that I hardly knew what he was up to.
“He’s good. Works a lot. More than I’d like. But I guess that’s what you do when you get a job, right? He seems to be happy enough with it, but this trip is a much needed break. For both of us. He spends so much time at the office that sometimes I feel like we don’t get to talk for even a couple hours some weeks! I know he’s doing what makes sense to him—it’s his way of taking care of me, and that’s what he thinks I expect of him. That’s what his dad did—worked his life away. But I think I’m getting closer to making him understand we really are in this together and I’m happy to pickup more shifts at the assisted living center. I can do four long days a week and still work less than him!”
“But after the first year of marriage, you’re happy right?” I asked, thinking I shouldn’t even have to ask it, but I couldn’t tell as she talked about Jack’s obsession with working.
“Of course! I couldn’t imagine my life without him! We’re only 23. We’re still figuring this whole thing out. Not, being together, but making a life together. We talked about having kids the other day and I think we’re both ready. We’re going to take this trip to play hard and then see if we still feel that way. We’re so happy together, and bringing another person into the world to share that happiness with just makes the most sense.”
“That’s great!” I said, not knowing what else to add. The more she talked, the less I felt I knew about my little sister.
***
“OK, fine, I’ll meet you in a half hour,” I conceded over the phone. Lynn had always been the outgoing friend who kept me involved in the social crowd. I loved her, but our paths had diverged a long time ago. I don’t know how she’d found out I was even in town. I didn’t use Facebook, I didn’t have her number.
She was dating Judy’s older brother. I couldn’t remember his name, just that he existed. He was a couple years younger than I was and his family had moved to town in my senior year of high school. I got to know Judy, but not her family. Sarah must have let Judy know I was in town, even though she wasn’t, and to let Lynn know to reach out to catch up.
I raided Sarah’s closet. I hadn’t brought anything that would even remotely pass for getting dressed up and going out to a bar. I’d packed jeans, sweats and hiking clothes for my two weeks. And it’d only taken three days to get invited to something I didn’t really want to go to.
Her closet was full of a huge variety of clothes. What did she have with her? This closet looked packed and she’d taken so much with her. I was sure I could find something reasonable that fit.
I settled on my jeans and a tight fitted black tank under a maroon scoop neck sweater. It was a surprisingly warm night for April in the White Mountains. The winter could last into May sometimes. This year happened to have an early thaw. Or a temporary early thaw—there was no guarantee the warm stretch would last.
“Marissa! It’s so good to see you!” Lynn shouted as soon as she saw me enter The Lazy River. The evening crowd hadn’t started yet so Lynn’s small group of friends was easy to spot.
“You too, it’s been ages!” I agreed as we embraced.
“You’re never around anymore. Come meet everyone. You remember my boyfriend, Sam,” she said, starting introductions. Sam, that’s his name, Judy’s older brother, I thought to myself. “And Ryan, Stephanie, Joey and Helen. Everyone, this is Marissa. We go way back.”
“Hi,” I said with false enthusiasm. I was happy to catch up with Lynn but I had no interest in attempting to make any new friendships during my short stay at Sarah and Jack’s. I sat down next to Lynn and she jumped right back into where we’d left off the last time we’d seen each other—I don’t even remember how long ago.
“Sarah and Jack must be so excited to be going on this trip!” Lynn bubbled with enthusiasm.
“It seems so,” I agreed. “It sounds like he works quite a bit so this will be a good chance for them to have uninterrupted time together.”
“Winter backpacking will be great for spending that time together! Sam mentioned they’re even booking a helicopter to get to some of the more remote areas. Sam, do you know if they were able to book the helicopter before they left?” she asked, turning to her boyfriend.
“I think they could. It sounds incredible, the itinerary they have planned.”
“That’s great! Jack must be good at convincing Sarah to try new things. She was never a daredevil!” I told Lynn.
“We had a really snowy winter and they tried some winter camping, so they should be prepared at least!” Lynn said. Sam turned back to the others, all laughing about some inside joke. “But, you, what have you been up to, Marissa? I never hear from you, and when I ask Sarah, she doesn’t seem to know anything I don’t know already. How’s work? Any new man in your life?”
I smiled. It was always the same questions, and I always had the same answers. “Nope, no new man.” I started with the easy answer. “Works going great. I designed a new course for the upcoming semester. It combines forensics with my normal psychology class. I’m team teaching it with a visiting professor. I’m really excited about it!” I stopped there, knowing I bored most people to a near catatonic state when I went into too much detail.
“That’s great!” Lynn said, the normal response.
“Is everyone ready to order food?” Sam asked, pausing our conversation. I quickly glanced over the menu and made my decision in the time everyone else placed their orders. I was optimistic about a good evening r
econnecting with my past.
Sam – September 2009
“Catch me up, Captain,” I said as soon as I walked into the office the following day. Even though I’d only really taken half a day off, there were probably plenty of developments that could lead us to identifying the body and starting our investigation if necessary.
“Bad news, Sam. Our team ID’d the body last night. I knew as soon as I saw her face after you and Allen left the scene, but I couldn’t tell you earlier, you know how it is. Procedure. And I wanted you to hear it in person. You should sit down for this,” he said and then actually gave me time to sit.
“Allen said you thought she was a local.”