by Diana Ryan
For my last two blissful years of high school, I dated the quarterback of the football team and local hottie, Aaron. But last year when we graduated, he dumped me as we headed off to different colleges. Breaking up came as quite a shock to my heart because I really thought I was going to marry him. After a year of reflection, I realized that probably most girls who fall in love with their high school boyfriends think they have found “the one.”
It’s a wonder how I made it through my first year at UW–Stevens Point without falling into a deep depression. Aaron showed up at the door of my heart, calling, emailing, and teasing me with the temptation of getting back together. He also showed up at the door of my dorm on several occasions, sending me joyfully back into love with him, only to leave me lonely again. Each time, when I thought he’d found a place for me in his heart, he’d stop talking to me for weeks at a time. At some point last spring, he decided it was unhealthy to keep going back and forth like that, and he broke it off for good.
Before I knew it, two whole semesters of college has passed like a blur across my brain.
I knew this summer could end up being awkward since we were both going to be working in the Dells for three months. But I hadn’t seen Aaron at all this summer. He was a driver and tour guide for the Original Wisconsin Ducks. The Ducks was one of the most popular attractions in the Dells, aside from the waterparks. For a small fortune, you could take your family aboard an authentic, WWII vehicle called a Duck. The big, army green, twenty-passenger truck drove through the forests around the Dells and then thrilled its passengers as it plunged directly into the Wisconsin River and magically transformed into a boat.
The Duck entrance at Echo Point was right around the turn near the beginning of the Lower Dells Boat Tour, and every time I rounded that corner, my heart skipped a beat, as I was hoping to see Dolly, the Duck Aaron drove. Although each time I secretly wanted it to be Aaron, it didn’t really matter because the Duck company seemed to hire only good-looking college men in their twenties, and I was happy to flirtatiously wave at any one of them.
I was still somewhat infatuated with Aaron when I came home from college for the summer. I never really got an answer to what went wrong in our relationship, and I blamed myself somehow. Now I wondered if anyone could ever love me the way Aaron once did. Could I really now be finding a way to break free from the hold Aaron had on my heart? My mind came back to the present, and somehow Nolan was only a few feet away from me.
How did he move so quickly without me knowing?
He randomly picked a brochure for the Tommy Bartlett Ski Show off the rack and nervously rolled it into a tube. “So, how was your day?”
Something told me this wasn’t a good idea. Why risk heartache again?
I pulled my tongue out of the back of my throat and squeaked out, “Fine. We sold books.”
Dammit! Why did he come off so smooth while I sounded like an idiot?
He gave a chuckle under his breath. “That’s good.” He moved in closer, and I could smell his cologne. The scent just about tipped me right off my feet when he suddenly stopped his momentum, turned on the spot, and headed back over to the ticket counter.
I snapped out of his delicious scent-hold and wondered what I did wrong. I turned and breathed into my hand for a quick breath check. Was my hair more hideous than I had thought?
He stayed at the counter, doing something by the till. It was odd behavior.
“Well, I have to get going. My parents will be expecting me.” I started backing out of the booth, still facing him, unable to turn away. The next few seconds passed in slow motion as my foot smashed into the corner of a metal stand holding up the American flag. The flag crashed to the floor with a loud clang and I flew backwards, grabbing the rack of brochures to break my fall. But it didn’t. The papers went flying through the air as I landed on my right hip on the concrete floor, covered in brochures for Dells attractions and a metal rack on my chest.
Oh my God. Did that really just happen?
Nolan jumped up from his spot at the counter and ran over to my side. He dug me out of the pile of brightly colored papers, asking if I was okay.
That was it. I just ruined my chances to spend any time with this cool, alluring boy this summer. Who would want to be with “Ava the Clumsy”? I was mortified and wanted nothing more than to hide in the cave of brochures on top of me and never see Nolan again.
I opened my eyes and found his blue eyes not more than four inches before me. His breath on my face confirmed the lack of space between us.
Three beats of silence passed as we searched each other’s eyes for answers, and then a tiny chuckle escaped Nolan’s mouth. He tightened his lips, trying to hold it back, but it was so cute I collapsed into laughter. Relief played on his face as he offered a hand to help me up, and we laughed comfortably for a minute together.
I knew right then no matter what happened this summer, I’d never forget the time Nolan watched me pick a fight with a brochure rack.
Chapter Five
Twenty minutes later I parked the Olds in front of my parents’ house on Capital Street, walked up the sidewalk and through the front door.
My mom was an elementary music teacher and spent her summers working in the garden, sitting on church committees, quilting, and reading. My father had always worked in the bank industry. I didn’t really know exactly what he did, only that he had climbed his way to the top and now sat as the head of some rather rare Midwestern chain I could never remember the name of. In fact, there wasn’t one of his banks in the county, and Dad had to travel as far as Madison or Milwaukee almost daily. Although he was extremely busy and often spent time traveling for work, when my sister and I were growing up he always made sure to be home to tuck us in for bed most nights of the week. He saved all his vacation days so he could take a few weeks off during the summer to spend time with his wife and daughters. I had a feeling my mother never really liked Dad’s job arrangement, but she supported him just the same.
Mom had a plate of supper already in the microwave when I entered the kitchen. “How was your day, honey? Did you have any full boats?” Mom brought over a bowl of reheated spaghetti and a tall glass of milk. She sat down in the chair next to me and sipped on a glass of ice water.
“One at noon, but otherwise pretty slow.” I took out my wad of money that was now considerably smaller since I gave half of it to Jack. I stood up from the table and took it over to my dad, who was sitting on the couch in the adjoining living room watching Jeopardy. He loved to count every bill my sister and I brought home—banking was probably in his blood. “Sorry, Dad, not too much to flash around today. Where’s Laura?”
“She had to take The Owl.” Dad was flipping bills around so they were all facing the same way. My sister, Laura, was an Upper Dells guide. She really wanted to become a pilot, though, and was coaxing her boat driver to teach her tips on docking every day. Although Laura was one year younger than me, she was taller and smarter. She was beautiful and full of confidence. I knew she’d one day become one of the best female pilots the Upper Dells had ever seen.
I had finished my spaghetti and was taking the plate to the sink just as the doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it, Mom.” An excited jolt ran through my body. Could Nolan be at my door? No, why would I think that? He had no idea where I lived.
I opened the front door and my stomach instantly dropped.
“Aaron?”
My ex-boyfriend stood at the bottom of the concrete stairs outside of my parents’ front porch. He was wearing his summer uniform—army green Duck shorts and a tucked-in white polo with the company’s logo embroidered on the left breast. He had his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground, moving his feet back and forth anxiously.
“What are you doing here, Aaron?”
“Ava,” he said, looking up at me finally. “Can I talk to you?”
I stayed on the top stair, but shut the porch door behind me. “I’m not sure I have anything to say to yo
u.”
“Listen. I’m sorry about how things ended a few months ago.”
Angry memories of the last year flickered in front of my mind’s eye like scenes from a film reel. I had spent too much time agonizing over the state of the relationship with my first failed love.
Then, unexpectedly, I saw a vision of Nolan and felt something warm in my heart.
“I don’t need your apologies. Have a great summer, Aaron. I’ll see you around.”
I turned towards the house and placed my hand on the door handle.
“Wait.” Aaron made up the space between us quickly and placed his hand on top of mine.
Shaking, I turned around to face him. His familiar green eyes penetrated mine. I involuntarily relived the sweet memories of our time in high school together. It was one of the happiest times of my life.
“I miss you,” he breathed. His was slowly moving in towards me.
I was so confused. Was this what I wanted?
No. Heartache. He’s nothing but heartache.
“Ava.” Aaron slid his hand around my waist, to my lower back. It felt so nice to be touched again. To be held tightly by a man. His other hand found my neck, his thumb gently rubbing the sensitive place under my ears. I closed my eyes, surrendering to the pleasant feelings rushing back to me.
I was well aware of his face inching closer and closer to mine, but found little will to send him away. Maybe this was what I wanted.
“I still love you,” he whispered right before his lips touched mine.
I kissed him back for a quick second. But the physicality of it jolted my logical brain into action. Getting back together with Aaron was not a good idea.
“No!” I pulled back quickly. “Aaron. You need to go. It’s over between us. Forever.”
“Aw, sweetie,” he pulled my waist in closer to his, “you don’t mean that. Think of all the good times we spent together.”
I squirmed in his arms, trying to break free, but he was too strong.
“Let go of me!” I screamed.
“You’re my girl, Ava.” He grabbed my wrists and squeezed too hard as I tried to yank them free. “I need you.”
Panic began to fill my heart. “Ow,” I whined. “You’re hurting me!”
He released me a little, but still gripped my wrists and stood close.
“I can’t live without you. Please...”
“Aaron, let go!” I whined again, trying to hit him with my fists.
“Hey!” someone called from the middle of the street. “She said let go!”
Footsteps quickly ran up the sidewalk, and then I heard Aaron grunt and he released me, falling suddenly to the ground.
“Ava, are you alright?”
It was Nolan. On my front steps. Punching out my ex-boyfriend.
My jaw dropped. Where did he come from?
Aaron scrambled to his feet and swung wildly at Nolan, missing horribly. Nolan pulled some kind of fancy move, catching Aaron’s arm and using it as a lever to flip Aaron over his head and flat to the ground, stunned.
It looked like it came right out of a movie.
Chests heaving, they stared at each other for a moment and I wondered what would happen next. Blood trickled from Aaron’s nose onto my parent’s front lawn, and then he got up, ran to his car and drove off.
Nolan was back at my side, his hand on my upper arm. “Are you hurt?”
I shook my head, still stunned.
“Who was that jerk?”
“My ex-boyfriend.” I took a deep breath and let it out. Then I met his eyes, full of concern. “That was scary. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. Don’t worry about him. I bet he won’t be coming by anymore.”
“Where did you learn to fight like that?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Must have been the karate I took as a kid.”
“Obviously,” I said, trying to laugh through all the emotions racing through me. I let my knees sink with relief and I sat down on the front steps. Nolan joined me.
“You’re not okay. You’re shaking.”
Get a hold of yourself, Ava!
“I’m fine.”
“How is it, might I ask, that you always happen to be right within reach when I need help?” I smiled, trying to hide my nervousness. “Are you stalking me, sir?”
“It would seem so, wouldn’t it?” He smiled adorably. “The truth is, I’ve just discovered I’m your neighbor for the summer.” He pointed across the street to the cabins across the alley in the next block over.
“Boat Tours housing? I should have known.”
“You should come over sometime and see my digs.”
My heart smiled along with my lips. “You know, I’d like that.”
“How about tomorrow? After work? You’re the local. You could come see my cabin and then take me around to all the best spots in town.”
Excitement mixed with nerves coursed through my veins. “Sure. Sounds great.”
Nolan stood up to leave.
“Thanks again, Nolan.”
“My pleasure.” His bright smile melted my heart. “Goodnight, Ava.”
“Goodnight, Nolan.”
I watched him cross the street, turning back once to wave at me. He trekked through the lawn of the houses on the other side and then crossed the alley and into Animal Island. A wonderful feeling filled my heart. I was going on a date with Nolan Hill.
I stopped at the front door because I heard my parents quietly arguing in the living room on the other side of the door—an act uncharacteristic of their marriage. I knew eavesdropping was wrong, but I couldn’t help myself.
“He’s been off the map for almost fifteen years, Kate,” my father said. “We have to ask ourselves—why now?”
“I haven’t got a clue, but I have a bad feeling about this.” Mom sounded worried, and I had no idea what they were talking about. “George. Please don’t go,” she said.
“I’m sorry, honey, but I have to.” Dad lowered his voice and said something I couldn’t hear.
“How can you be so sure?” Mom asked.
“This is our family we’re talking about. I told you all those years ago, and I still hold firm on this—I will not risk my family’s safety.”
My mother let out a loud sigh of disapproval. “Fine. I’ll support you if that’s what you want.” Mom walked away from the conversation, and I heard my father grunt softly.
What was that about?
Chapter Six
Jack asked for a few extra days off. “Some family thing up North,” he told me the day before. So I was stuck with awful Captain Dean. Dean was a very tall man with square shoulders, graying hair, and boxy, oversized glasses. He somehow reminded me of a bald eagle. He was also a schoolteacher, although I could not imagine him teaching any children, as one look from his rigid, tight face would scare any child. It sent chills down my spine, and I was nineteen years old for goodness sake.
I also believed Dean suffered from OCD. He expected his guide to be at work forty-five minutes early to wash the windows with a specific formula he made himself, and to “wipe it off in a clockwise direction,” using only a cotton blend towel. After that, each life vest belt had to be checked and neatly placed in straight rows behind the chairs on the bottom deck. These were chores none of the other crews did. Well, at least not regularly.
I carefully walked aboard that morning and made my way to the front of the boat to deposit my workbag. A roll of paper towels and a bottle of Windex were sitting suggestively on the guide’s side of the dash. I sighed and got to work wiping down the chairs on the bottom deck while Dean was busy with the windows in the back.
He cordially greeted me good morning and then informed me that we only had thirty minutes before our first tour, and I should make sure the garbage cans on the top and back deck were wiped down. After I had completed all the random and completely useless jobs he required me to do, I decided to hit the restroom before our first trip.
Dean made quite a few remarks of “posi
tive criticism” on each of my first two tours and only asked me to wipe down the rails on the upper deck twice that day. As if working with crazy Captain Dean wasn’t enough, Nolan was stationed at an uptown booth, so I couldn’t even spend my breaks with him.
One trip, on the way back up river, I tried to strike up a conversation with Dean about teaching. But I soon realized it was a mistake, as Dean turned out to be very uninspired in the classroom and didn’t like his job much at all. As he jabbered on about the politics of his district, I daydreamed about my not so stellar first year at UWSP.
“You’ll have to work harder to prepare yourself for the next exam, Miss Gardner,” my History professor had told me as she handed back my test. A large F was written in red ink on the top of my paper. The sight of it stopped my heart for what felt like a full thirty seconds. It was my first F on a test. Ever.
I slipped the test into my backpack with shaking hands.
“I lead a study group that meets every Thursday evening on the second floor of the library. I suggest you attend.”
“Thanks,” I muttered as I got up from my chair. I held back my tears until I was clear of the crowd leaving the classroom. I craved my mother’s arms to hold me and for her to tell me it would be okay. College was a lonely place—so many people and no one familiar enough to cry to. I wandered the campus for an hour, wondering what I was doing there. Maybe college wasn’t the place for me. But what else was I to do with my life?
Finally I arrived at my dorm room and called Aaron right away.
“It’s just one F, baby. You’ll be fine.”
I sniffled, crying quietly.
“Want me to come over? I’ll make you feel better.”
“Aaron, you’re three hours away.” But I wanted really badly for him to come. I needed him.
“I’m leaving now, baby. I’ll be there by 8 tonight.”
But he never came. I got a text at 8:30 saying something came up and he wasn’t going to be able to make it. Then I didn’t hear from him for three weeks.