by Diana Ryan
“Don’t ask,” was all I could say. He stopped laughing and pulled me in for a hug before I could say, “Stop! I stink!”
“Wait. Let me just see here.” Nolan took a whiff of my hair and said, “Yup. Just as I thought. You smell like coconuts, and it’s wonderful.”
I didn’t think I had enough energy to smile, but somehow one showed up on my face. I gave him a quick peck on the lips. “You can always make me feel better. That’s a sweet skill, you know.” I pulled away from the hug and looked him in the eyes.
“So, not a great day?” He rubbed the side of my arms with his palms.
“I’ll tell you all about it later tonight.” I walked over to the driver’s side and opened my car door. I tossed my workbag onto the front passenger seat. “I need a cold shower, and then I might just be ready to party with you tonight.”
“Sounds perfect. Come over to the cabin when you’re ready.” He gave me a kiss and then adorably poked my nose with his finger. I climbed into my car and drove home.
There was one more thing that sucked about the Fourth of July in the Dells—the traffic! My normal, five-minute commute turned into fifteen minutes as I sat at a standstill over the Kilbourn Bridge.
When I got home, I stayed to chat with my parents for a few minutes. My dad was still doing genealogy research on the couch, so I sat down next to him.
“Hey, Dad. Have you learned anything else cool about the Gardner family?”
He shut the book and looked a little concerned. “Well, only that we’ve had plenty of family members die early on and many ended up in insane asylums. Sorry, kid, I think we’ve got bad genes.” Then he laughed rather awkwardly at his own comment.
“Ah, Dad, that’s pretty disturbing, actually.” I wanted him to explain himself a little more. The thought of having “bad genes” inside me was making me a little uneasy.
“I’m not sure how to explain it, but from about 1913 to about 1960, several of our relatives died before the age of thirty, and many others suffered from mental disorders. But after my father died in ’67, I see a bill of clean health for the Gardners. I think the ‘bad genes’ must have worked themselves out.” He was making some notes on a legal pad on his lap.
“Huh... I hope that’s true, Dad.” Then I noticed a note on his paper and decided to ask him a question I never had the guts to ask before. “What about your real father? What happened to him?”
He inhaled slowly as if the pain was still with him. “I suppose you are old enough to know the truth.” He shifted uncomfortably on the couch. “I was born only a few days after my father died from a unique illness. I was raised by the man you know as Grandpa Gib, who married my mother a year after my father’s passing.
“As I got older, I found out Gib was not my biological father, and was naturally curious to learn more about my real dad. My mother never wanted to talk too much about it, but she did once tell me that Dad had a strange disease, and she had been trying to research a cure before he died. From that one conversation, I could tell how much she had loved my father and how she’d do anything for him.” He stopped for a moment, and I could tell he was getting a little choked up.
“Gosh, I’m so sorry, Dad.” I placed a hand on his forearm.
He put his hand on top of mine and then went on. “Mom was working nights sterilizing tools at a local medicine lab before my father died, hoping to come across a treatment for my father’s illness. She was able to foster a great relationship with all the scientists and doctors in the county who frequented the lab. One of those men was Dr. Gib. I’m happy my mother found Gib. He was a great father to me and husband to my mother.”
I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the head. “Thanks for sharing that with me, Dad. Grandma and Grandpa Gib were both amazing.”
I found my mother at her sewing machine in the spare bedroom. She had spent the day making a quilt for a couple whose wedding she was attending the next weekend. I told her about my horrible day and my plans to take the party boat tonight. Mom told me Laura had come home early and was sleeping in her bedroom. Apparently she’d got a terrible headache at work and couldn’t even see straight, let alone give a tour.
“Oh no! Is she still going to come to the party tonight?”
“She seemed like she still wanted to. I’m sure after her nap she’ll be feeling better.”
Should I tell Mom that I had been experiencing some weird headaches too? I decided against it for now. I realized I better get going, so I showered quickly and changed into jeans and a comfy black tank top. I grabbed a black hoodie as I scooted out the door.
The walk around the block seemed unusually long tonight. Perhaps I was just excited to be in Nolan’s arms again.
When I arrived at his cabin door, I knocked but there was no answer. His car was parked in front, so I pushed the door open and yelled, “Hello?” as I entered. I heard the water running in the bathroom and Nolan was singing a tune I was unfamiliar with. While he was in the shower, I sat down on the loveseat by the window. His clothes were laid out on the bed and the TV was turned on to a country music channel.
Something caught my eye under the bed. It looked out of place, so I was intrigued. Curiosity possessed me, and I bent down on my hands and knees and slowly pulled a black briefcase out from under the bed. I ran my hand over the smooth top. There etched in the middle were the letters CBB. CBB? Were those initials? It had a black button lock on the front, and I traced the mechanism with my fingers.
My heart raced as I pushed in the button. The lock popped opened with what seemed like an extremely loud snap. I sat frozen and scared as I listened to hear if Nolan had heard the click from the shower. The water was still running, and he was still singing—he hadn’t. I let out my breath as I slowly eased the top of the briefcase open. My jaw dropped at the sight inside.
In front of me was probably about twenty different and expensive looking mechanical gadgets: a tablet, some cell phones, an MP3 player, and something that looked like a very fancy GPS device. There were many tiny machines that I had no idea what they were for. What was this? Why would he need this gear? Was he stealing? I picked up one of the items and slowly turned it over in my hand.
Suddenly, the water from the shower shut off. My heart beat wildly. Clearly this was not meant for me to see. I dropped the little machine back in the briefcase and then carefully and very quickly shut it and slid it back under the bed. I resumed my place on the loveseat, all in a matter of a few seconds.
I couldn’t breathe. My lungs felt heavy and my heart felt like it had stopped.
“Ava? Are you here?” Nolan’s face peeked around the open bathroom door. I could tell he was naked, but he hid most of his muscular body behind the wall. “Hey, sweetie. I’ll be out in a sec. God, you look beautiful.”
The sound of his voice brought such wonderful feelings to my heart, but I was so confused. Was Nolan really whom I thought he was? I kind of wanted to get up off the couch and bolt out of there as fast as I could, but the logical side of my brain interrupted, telling me that perhaps there was a very reasonable explanation for the briefcase, and if I gave Nolan a chance to explain, he probably could.
Nolan emerged from the bathroom wearing a pair of boxer briefs. He took one look at me and knew something was wrong. “Hey, are you feeling alright? We don’t have to go to the party if you don’t want to. I’m more than happy to just hold up here with you.” When I didn’t answer he tried again. “We could throw in a movie and cuddle up on the bed.” He pointed to the DVD player near the wall while he quickly jumped into a pair of shorts.
Staying in here with him was the last thing I wanted. I needed to get out into some fresh air, be around some other people, and maybe even talk this over with Laura.
When we arrived at the docks there were a ton of employees waiting around drinking beer and sitting on coolers. They were inevitably chatting about their crappy days on the river, and waiting for the time we could depart. The sun had almost set, and we knew the fireworks wo
uld be shot off soon. We all chipped in a buck for the designated driver and hopped on board the Belle Boyd. A few minutes later, someone untied the bow and stern lines and we were off. I spotted Laura near the front of the top deck and left Nolan with Suzanne and Brian near the back of the boat. I needed a little alone time with my little sister.
“Hey, Laura!” I said giving her a hug. “Are you feeling better? Mom told me you got a bad headache.”
“Yeah. I just needed a little nap to sleep that sucker off. So did I tell you Phil let me dock the other day, and it wasn’t a complete mess? Darren says I might be able to drive a few tours before summer’s done!” She took a sip of her Diet Coke. “How about you, sis? How’s that hot piece of arm candy working out for you?”
“Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about him.”
She smiled, grabbed my far shoulder and pulled me in for a side-hug. “You don’t even have to say it, sis. It’s written all over your face.”
Uh-oh. It was? I was trying so hard to hide my new discovery.
“You are totally smitten by this guy! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this before! I’m so happy for you!” She released me from the hug.
“Oh, right. Yes, I really do like him a lot.”
Should I mention what I found under his bed? Was it the right time?
I glanced behind me and saw Nolan looking back with a smile. Oh, that look could melt me. I decided right then and there that perhaps this was the happiest I’ve been in my young adult life. I needed more information before I made a premature decision that would ruin my otherwise wonderful relationship with Nolan. I gave my sister another hug, thanked her (for what?), and then headed back over to Nolan.
Shortly after we took off, they drove the Belle Boyd to a spot right under the railroad bridge. It was the perfect place to watch the fireworks. I glanced to my right and saw Jack and his new girlfriend looking lovingly into each other’s eyes while holding hands. Jack had been hurt in love, and at one point had given up on ever finding it again, but he took a risk, opened his heart and now was happier than I had ever seen him. What would happen if I let my guard down, too? Could I really find love again? What would happen if I dropped this wall and let Nolan into my heart, no matter who or what he was?
I didn’t know what was going to happen with Nolan and me, but I did know that I wasn’t ready to let go of it all.
I stood at the rail of the boat looking up into the sky while Nolan stood behind me. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and crossed them in front of me. I grabbed his hands and held on tight as they rested across my upper chest. He pulled me in so my head and back rested on his body.
No matter how confused and scared I felt only an hour earlier, I couldn’t deny the feeling I had while wrapped up carefully in Nolan’s arms. Maybe we all had a few skeletons in our closets. I’m sure to come with a little baggage too. If I was truly honest with myself, I don’t think I told Nolan everything about my last relationship and how scared I was to love someone again. He was willing to take whatever I wanted to give him in this relationship, and I should be happy to take what he had to offer me. So with that, I very happily spent the rest of the night by my man’s side.
Chapter Thirteen
Nolan and I continued to date through the next several weeks. I was able to basically put the discovery of the briefcase out of my mind, although I noticed that the black box stayed right underneath his bed, and it seemed to be staring at me every time I was at the cabin. We spent almost every evening together and many nights, we hung out in his cabin watching old movies and playing board games. It was so simple, yet so perfect.
The other evenings were spent doing very traditional Dells tourist activities. I took him to the famous Tommy Bartlett Ski Sky and Stage extravaganza, we saw the magic show, danced in the street to a live band playing downtown, tried out many of the mini-golf courses, hit the movie theater, tasted fare at the farmer’s market, and even got an Old Time Photo taken. I was wearing a flapper outfit and he wore a gangster suit. He held a bottle of whisky, and I got to hold a fake gun. It was all so much fun! I felt so comfortable with myself around him, and we seemed to complement each other so well.
As August came into view, Nolan had given me no other reason not to trust him, so I quit worrying about the briefcase, and I concentrated on enjoying the time I had to spend with Nolan.
I realized I had been so focused on Nolan that I hadn’t checked in with Kasie in a while. I called several times on different days and it always went to voicemail. I sent a text, which went unanswered for a few days until I finally got a reply:
Sorry girl! No time to talk! Had to take another shift at the pool and got a night job waitressing downtown. Maybe I’ll be able to pay for next semester now.
I was pretty sure that was her way of asking if my grades were okay, but I didn’t give her the bad news. Good for you! But don’t work yourself into the ground, I replied.
There was so much I hadn’t talked to Kasie about. Come to think of it, most of the summer flew by and I didn’t mention that Nolan and I were even dating. I decided to hold off that information until I was able to tell her in person; plus summer was more than half over, and although I didn’t like it, I was pretty sure my time with Nolan was limited. Even though it was constantly on my mind, that was one thing we never really talked about—what was going to happen when I had to go back to school? Would Nolan be ready for a long-distance relationship? Because I certainly didn’t want to end things soon. Would he be willing to relocate to Stevens Point? There seemed to be nothing keeping him here in this area of Wisconsin.
Part of me wanted so desperately to bring the subject up, but at the same time, I couldn’t find the guts within me to do it. What if he wanted to end the whole relationship right then and there? I didn’t know if I could handle hearing those words. I wanted to squeeze out as many days of bliss as I could before I inevitably had to face the music at the end of the month. But part of me was wondering—wasn’t he thinking the same thing? Maybe he felt like I did and just didn’t know the answer.
One night we fell asleep cuddling together on his bed in the cabin, and when I woke up, it was two in the morning. I thought the end of my life was near as I sprinted through the yards separating Animal Island from my parents’ house. My mother had thankfully fallen asleep waiting for me in the Lazy Boy in the living room. I was able to sneak in the front door, quietly ascend the stairs, change into pajamas, and climb into bed without her waking up. The next morning, I smoothed everything over by telling her we’d had a conversation at 12:30 when I got home, but she must have been out of it since she couldn’t remember.
Things at work were certainly picking up. Jack and I were selling a lot of tour books and making some good money. Jack’s tricks were getting more complicated—fake poop on the floor, balloons flying out of the back closet, the good ol’ whoopee cushion trick, and many others. One time he even tried the paper on the window trick again. Although this time he had written, “There’s a bomb on the boat!” and before I could even read the paper, it flew off the window and tumbled into the crowd.
“Oh crap!” I heard Jack say from downstairs. Then his head appeared in the hatch. “Get that paper! NOW!”
I turned around to find it had stuck to a middle-aged lady’s face and she pulled the paper off with disgust. I giggled a little under my breath and then apologized and asked for the paper. Before she could hand it over to me, her husband read the message, and he stood up yelling, “There’s a bomb on the boat!” Panic ensued as many passengers tried to file down the aisle.
I just about screamed over the microphone: “Stop! Stop! Please return to your seat!” Then I calmed my voice down a bit and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, I assure you we are in no danger! Please sit down, and I will explain!” Many of the passengers settled down and returned to their seats, but a few had escaped down the back stairs and were contemplating jumping out the gate on the back deck. “Ladies and gentlemen. Please, re
turn to your seats immediately. You see, Captain Jack is a bit of a jokester and tries to make me laugh every day. This is one of his pranks, obviously gone wrong. I assure you we are in no danger.”
I sang an extra song for the crowd that tour and put on the most charming personality I could muster up. I wasn’t trying to sell extra books, but simply making sure they were happy and not ready to report this to Darren. We got gotched again, but this time we knew it was of our own doing. We actually had a good laugh about it after the tour.
Jack was in the best of moods as his new relationship seemed to be going about as smoothly as mine was. One day he invited her on one of our trips. Natalie joined him in the quest to make me laugh during our tour. I was up on the top deck of the boat, and when I came down, she was sitting in the front row wearing a bright orange life jacket and pretending to brush her teeth with a wire brush we used for cleaning. It rated mild on the joke scale, but I was thrilled that she was joining in on the fun. Natalie was great, and I was so happy for Jack. It was really starting to feel like love was in the air down at the Lower Dells this summer.
But as August came to a close, our future was sitting in the back of my mind. I contemplated not returning to college, but I knew my parents would be disappointed, and I knew I should probably give it another year. It was less than a week before I had to go off to school again, and Nolan had no plans to report of. I wondered why he couldn’t simply make a decision about what he wanted to do with his life. It was frustrating me beyond belief. He was twenty years old, for goodness sake. A few times I researched jobs and college programs in the Stevens Point area and tried to share the websites with him. He was very good at changing the subject and never really looking into any of my suggestions.