by Diana Ryan
Even though I do like my job, my life has been relatively secret to those I am closest to. I often find I am living two lives, which isn’t always the most convenient. To be honest, it can be very lonely.
I’ve been in training and working in Chicago for the last two years. Very early on, I was chosen to be a part of a special Clandestine Biomonitoring Branch of the Bureau. This section employs environmental biologists, genetic scientists, and neurologists trained to examine the lives Americans live and look for vulnerabilities in our environment that may cause health risks or other threats to the American people.
I find this type of work very interesting, but I had worked in the office for the majority of my time with the CBB thus far. For the past half a year I had been allowed to begin my survival, torture, and combat training. It was strenuous and exhausting, but at the same time thrilling. I was excited to start work as a field agent.
Less than a month ago, the CBB intercepted some information indicating there may be a non-urgent public health risk in the Midwest. I have not been made privy to the complete details, but I know the concern is related to low levels of possibly harmful radiation being passed through the environment by one source.
Through their research, the CBB had narrowed the source of emissions down to several areas and sent an agent undercover to each of these areas for the summer. The experts were working back at headquarters in Chicago and at other stations around the country continuing their research. As information became evident, we were supposed to be updated.
So here I was at my undercover job as Dells Boat Tours ticket agent. On one hand I longed to be back at headquarters shooting guns and practicing my combat skills, and on the other hand I was on an actual mission. My first mission.
Darren had me shadowing various ticket agents in booths around town. Most days I was bored out of my mind, training for a job I expected to be at only temporarily. Some days it was hard to pay attention. I spent a lot of that time on my phone texting other guys at the agency, trying to get some info on what they were up to. A few guys were still in Chicago, training and waiting for their tasks to be assigned. Some were luckier, posted to other parts of the country, kicking ass behind the scenes.
One day I was assigned to train with this cool guy, Brian. Brian was a nineteen-year-old with broad shoulders and a thin waist. He had dark hair and eyes, and a very friendly face. Brian and I shared the same sense of humor, poking fun at tourists behind their backs and being goofy. Working and learning from Brian was so refreshing. It had been so long since I’d felt so free.
I could tell Brian was genuinely a good guy. We talked a lot about sports that day in the ticket booth right next to the downtown Dairy Queen. I even learned some good tips on how to be a profitable ticket agent. I didn’t really care about making money, of course, but he was so good, I couldn’t help picking up a few tricks. Brian was the first agent to trust me enough to let me sell tickets on his shift while he sat back with his feet up on the ticket counter.
Brian told me this was his fourth year working for the boats, and so they placed him mostly at the best booth, Lower One. He probably knew a lot about Ava, and I wanted so badly to ask him about her, but something made me stop. I knew in the back of my mind that the agency would frown upon field agents engaging in personal activity during their mission—but my mission hadn’t really been defined yet. I was basically staking out our territory while the guys in the lab on the other side of the country did the real research. They weren’t even sure of the exact location or the actual severity of the threat yet.
But oh, those big brown eyes...
A police car sped down Broadway with its lights and sirens on, breaking up my daydream. People stopped on the sidewalks to watch it speed by for a second, and then they went back to their business of vacationing. The sidewalks on both sides of the street were filled with people of all ages shopping, eating, and buying tickets from Brian.
I decided I could use a friend in this crazy tourist town, especially if I was going to be here all summer. “Hey, Brian, whadaya say I pick up some beer on the way home, and we head over to the Island to relax a bit?”
He looked at me like I was crazy. Did I say something wrong?
“Ah buddy...? How old are you? You look like you’re about nineteen.”
Oh shoot.
I forgot I’m supposed to be almost twenty. One reason the agency picked me for this assignment was because, although I was twenty-four, my facial features made me look twenty as long as I kept clean-shaven.
“Naw, I’ll be twenty at the end of the summer. Hey, I bet you’re not into drinking. You play football at UW–Whitewater, right?”
“Yeah. Gotta keep this machine in perfect working order, so I stay away from alcohol.” He flexed his biceps. “You wanna join me for a workout tomorrow morning?”
I probably should keep up on my weight training while I was waiting for the action. “Yeah, give me a call in the morning before you leave.”
After work, I had to visit the Boat office to restock my ticket briefcase. As I drove down the hill by the Lower Dells, Ava’s pretty face flashed before my mind. I stopped at the stoplight, wondering how my brief encounter with her a few days before could have left such a lasting impression. The light turned green and I took a left, past the docks. Curiously, I studied the parking lot, wondering if I could catch a glimpse of Ava leaving work.
There she was, sitting on a park bench, staring out over the river.
Acting on an impulse, I switched on my left blinker and waited for oncoming traffic to clear. I watched her sitting there, imagining sitting next to her with my arm around her shoulders.
What the hell am I thinking? I’m here for work this summer, not for romance.
I switched my blinker off and glanced over my right shoulder to merge back into traffic, but a sudden rush of cars forced me to wait, and provided me time to look back at Ava.
Where’d she go?
I searched the parking lot, but didn’t see her anywhere. Then my heart shifted into high gear when I spotted her hop the safety fence.
What the hell was she doing? Was she going to jump down the hill? It’s probably sixty feet down!
“No! Ava!” I yelled. I had to stop her!
I rampantly took advantage of a tiny space between oncoming traffic and sped into DBT’s parking lot. I threw my Audi into park in a handicapped stall and rushed over to Ava just as she almost toppled down the hill. With no seconds to spare I caught hold of her backpack and grabbed her tiny waist, lifting her onto the wooden railing.
Holy crap! That was close.
She looked up at me, stunned, and muttered something incoherent. She was scared, her arms and legs shaking. She was so innocently gorgeous. I wanted to wrap her in my arms and make her feel safe. I grabbed her hand instead. It felt mildly appropriate.
But in the next second anger washed over me and I inadvertently scolded her. Why would she put herself in danger that way? The intense desire to pull Ava close, and the fear I felt for her safety scared me. I barely knew this woman.
You’re here for work, Nolan, my brain reminded myself. Leave now.
“I’m glad you’re okay. I’ve gotta head to the Boat office.”
Dammit, she’s so beautiful.
“Take care of yourself, Ava. I’d like to see you around here again.”
Get out of here, Nolan, before you’re in too deep.
Chapter Three
One morning, five days into my stint in the Dells, I received an email from my boss, Agent Harper, detailing the lack of progress in my mission, as nothing had developed, and it looked like I’d be playing the part of ticket agent for the whole summer. I was okay with that. If I had to jump through a few hoops to land a bit higher on the ladder, then that’s what I was ready and willing to do.
Agent Harper’s email also indicated that he’d arranged for me to take the next day off from work at DBT and was to report to the CBB offices in Chicago. I went to sleep that night ex
cited for a twist in what had become a somewhat mundane routine in the Dells and to spend the day training and getting briefed at the CBB office.
I left at an ungodly hour early in the morning in order to make the four-hour drive into Chicago and land at the office’s front step by 9 A.M. I survived on three large coffees and a bag of chocolate mini doughnuts. Oh, and my favorite talk-radio station.
A few times my mind wandered to the day before, when Ava and Jack came up to visit Lower One during their break. Before I knew it, I had somewhat scolded Ava for almost tumbling down the hill into the river, but she apologized sweetly, not bothered by my reprimand.
Being so close to her really stirred up some feelings inside me and thinking about it now scared me a little. I could not let some petty feelings for a woman I barely know get in the way of my career aspirations.
No more thoughts of Ava today, my brain threatened my heart.
“Fine,” I said out loud. “She’s gone. Clear head.”
The parking garage was noticeably empty as I pulled into one of the first stalls. I wondered if half the agency was off for some reason. It felt good to be back at the office. Although I had only been gone about a week, there had been a sliver of homesickness present in my heart. I pulled on my suit coat before I shut the car door and took a deep breath of city air.
I swiped my ID card at the door and entered the passcodes outside the elevator. The CBB offices were located on the fifteenth through twenty-fifth floors of a Chicago-based bank building. I was told the employees of the bank thought the execs inhabited those floors and, as a rule, stayed away.
I took the elevator up to CBB’s reception and checked in. “Agent Hill, reporting for Agent Harper,” I told the pretty blond at the desk. Three oversized, silvery letters spelled out CBB on the wall behind her head. Upon closer look, I noticed the words North Central under the large letters.
“Agent Hill,” she smiled brightly, “Credentials, please.”
I handed over my ID card and badge. She swiped them over the scanner built into the desk and held onto them as the results popped onto the computer screen. “Agent Harper is expecting you.” She leaned forward to reach something at the back of her desk and I got an eyeful of her cleavage. I looked away politely as she put a small tablet and stylus on the high counter in front of me. “Please sign here and enter your passcode.”
I did as she said and returned the device. She traded it for my credentials.
“Your agenda for the day has been uploaded to your phone. Please take the A Elevators up to the locker rooms as you’ll be training within the hour.”
“Thank you,” I replied, gathering my briefcase from the floor.
“Have a nice day, Agent Hill.”
“You too, ma’am.”
The A Elevators were all the way at the end of the hall. I pressed the up button and found the agenda on my phone as I waited for the elevator doors to open. In thirty minutes I was to be changed and ready in the training arena found on the sixteenth floor for rifle and assault training until noon. It looked like I’d have a break for lunch and then spend the afternoon at intelligence getting briefed on any updates with the current mission.
I smiled. It felt good to be back.
There were a few other agents in the arena when I arrived. I didn’t know any of them by name, but recognized their faces. We engaged in small talk while we waited for our instructor to arrive.
“Good morning, agents,” a man called as he entered the cavernous room. He took several hard steps on the concrete floor and then his gait gained a little bounce as he walked onto the mat covering most of the arena. He was a tall man with square shoulders and tight muscles on every inch of his body. His long black hair had been pulled back into a tight ponytail at the back of his head.
“Oh great,” the guy next to me muttered. “Agent Miller. He’s a hard ass.”
I groaned quietly. I’d be sore tomorrow for sure.
Agent Miller reached the middle of the arena. “I’m Agent Miller, new to this division, but I’m sure you’ll find me suitable for your needs. We’ll begin with combat training. Let’s get to work, boys.”
* * * *
Just as predicted, training was tough and by lunch I felt exhausted. We spent an hour and a half in combat training with Agent Miller and then we were sent to the gun range where we sharpened our shooting. Afterward I took a nice long shower and then relaxed in the agents’ lounge before I had to report to intelligence.
The afternoon turned out to be a complete opposite of the morning—drab, uninteresting, and very slow moving. I sat through two policy meetings and no sliver of amusement came until midway through the second meeting when we heard shouting in the hallway.
“It’s all a hoax!” a man’s voice yelled. “You’re being fooled!”
The agent presenting to us rose quickly from his chair and jumped to the door. I caught a glimpse of a suited agent struggling to break free from the hold of two other agents trying to escort the man down the hall.
“That’s enough,” replied a stern voice. Two electronic darts shot from a guard’s stun gun and stuck to the man’s torso. He let out a series of grunts and then fell to the ground, limp, just as the door to the conference room shut.
“That was odd,” I whispered to the agent next to me.
“That’s Agent Hicks,” he whispered back. “He’s been talking crazy for weeks. They would have sacked him before now, but he’s a genius, and they need him.”
“Let us continue on, shall we?” the agent in charge suggested.
Finally, by late afternoon, I met with intelligence to be briefed on my mission. But that was anticlimactic because there was nothing really to report. We were still searching for a source of radiation somewhere in the Midwest.
They must know more, I thought as I drove back to the Dells that evening. The FBI has some of the most high-tech equipment in the world. Why couldn’t they narrow down the source of radiation more easily?
But I wasn’t about to lose sleep over it now. I was more than excited to be on my first mission, be it boring as all hell. That night my aching body slept like a baby.
Chapter Four
It wasn’t long before I settled into my job as ticket agent. I spent a few days working at different booths uptown and there I got a chance to read some reports Agent Harper had required me to review. I was able to sneak my tablet under the ticket counter at a booth called Upper Ducks, and even if I left my hotspot in the cabin, I could hook up to some Wi-Fi from a nearby coffee shop. It all worked out perfectly.
But as much as I tried, I couldn’t shake Ava’s pretty face from my mind, so I was very happy when Darren expressed how impressed he was with my selling skills. This meant I would be scheduled at Lower One or Two most days, and, in turn, I would see Ava. I liked working with Brian and Suzanne, too. They were both a blast to be around. It was a nice change from the suit-wearing, stuck-up nerds hanging around headquarters.
Ava gradually began spending more and more time visiting the booth on her breaks. I knew I initially had a physical attraction to Ava, but the more I got to know her, the more I began to utterly adore her sweet personality and irresistible laughter. We played off each other well and had the same sense of humor.
But each time my heart opened up a little more, my brain was there with a rebuttal. You’re not here for romance.
However, things with the agency were moving pretty slow. It might be okay if I explored a relationship with Ava.
If only for the summer.
So that’s why I took the risk one afternoon when Darren sent me out to the Delton Corners ticket booth unexpectedly part way through my shift. I was really disappointed. I hadn’t even gotten to talk to Ava yet, and now that I had to leave, I wouldn’t be around when the General Bailey returned to the docks.
On a whim, I took a piece of scrap paper and wrote a note for Ava. Maybe she would come out to see me after work.
Don’t do it, my brain protested as I handed Su
zanne the note.
“Could you please make sure Ava gets this?” I asked her, ignoring my brain. She grabbed it with a sneaky smile on her face.
“What’s it say?”
I took the money and tickets out of the drawer and packed up my briefcase. “I bet you could guess.”
Suzanne threw out her hip and placed her right hand on top of it. “Oh, Nolan, don’t you think she’s a little out of your league?”
I swallowed hard. That was flat-out rude. I turned around to look at her. “What do you mean by that?”
Suzanne was known to say precisely what was on her mind, even if it wasn’t exactly the most appropriate thing to say to someone’s face. “I don’t want you to get your heart broken.” She placed the note on her stool and handed me my phone from the counter.
No matter how hurtful Suzanne came off, her comments couldn’t be as damaging as my own insecurities. “Just give her the letter. See you tomorrow.”
I left the booth and headed toward the parking lot. There was a great view of the river and power dam on the south side of the lot, and I stopped to take a look and think for a moment. It was this exact place where I rescued Ava from tumbling down the rocky hillside. Even if Ava was too good for me to date, she at least could use someone watching out for her safety. I noticed the Bailey coming in and instantly felt disappointed. I had just missed Ava. She was standing by the gate on the back deck holding the rope in her hands, waiting to tie up the boat. Soon she’d be up at the booth, possibly looking for me.
Seeing Ava made my heart beat quicker. I put Suzanne’s comments out of my head for the time being and reluctantly headed off to my car.
I hopped in my Audi and drove ten minutes or so down Highway 12, all the way out to Lake Delton. I parked in the lot by the Delton Corners ticket booth and shut off the engine. I had a few hours to wait before Ava could come visit, if she even decided to come out to the booth, so I took my CBB briefcase inside, expecting to get some agency work done.