by Diana Ryan
“Where are my parents?” I asked the nurse.
“No one can see you right now. Try to rest.” She helped me lie back down. I felt a distant pain in the back of my head, but was able to fall asleep relatively quickly.
It was only a few hours later, I thought, when I woke up and saw my mother by my bedside. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days.
“Mom? Oh thank God! What happened? Where’s Dad?”
“Oh sweetheart, your father is gone on a work trip. He wants me to tell you he’s thinking about you and feeling horrible that he can’t be here by your bedside right now.”
I smiled for my mother. Fear struck my heart as my mind changed thoughts. There was something else weighing on my mind. “Did they catch Nolan?” I asked my mother. “Is he in jail?” My heart ached a little at my words.
“No, sweetie. Actually, he’s lying in a hospital bed down the hallway.” Her eyes looked bloodshot like she had been crying.
“He’s hurt, too?” My heart perked up, wondering what could have happened after I was stabbed. “What happened after he left me?” My mom was reluctant to say anything. “Oh, Mom. Would you please tell me what happened last night?”
My mother grabbed my hand gently and took her time saying, “The doctors don’t think your body is ready to handle the truth of what happened that night. They think you might go into shock.”
“Mom. I loved him. I think I need to know the truth in order to heal.” I looked at her with imploring eyes. My mother’s were beginning to tear up. She put a soft hand on my arm.
“He loved you, too, Ava. He and I had a heart-to-heart this morning. He is quite a special man.” She patted me on the knees and I wondered what had been said in that conversation.
I took a really good look at my mother. She had large bags under her eyes, and her skin color looked a little off. Her hair somehow seemed thinner and she looked weak. What had happened to her? She looked like hell.
My eyes began to fill with tears. All I wanted was to ask Nolan a million questions.
“Go to sleep now, Ava. When you are well enough, I promise you’ll get all your questions answered.”
* * * *
My mother’s voice woke me gently from my sleep. “Ava honey, you have a visitor.”
Nolan?
I opened my eyes and anxiously looked toward the door.
“Hey, hot stuff! You’re looking great!”
“Ted.” A smile fell across my face. “It is so good to see you.”
He sat down on the chair by my bed. My mother very graciously excused herself to the waiting room and closed the door gently as she exited.
Ted’s expression turned somber. “You know, I thought you weren’t going to make it there for a while.”
“Ted. What the hell happened last night? I thought for sure I was going to die.” I knew he’d tell me the truth even if the doctors thought I couldn’t handle it.
Ted looked confused for a second. “Last night? Oh, honey, no one told you?”
“Told me what?” I didn’t like how this was going.
“Well...you’ve been here in the hospital for almost two weeks.”
“What?” I couldn’t believe my ears. How could I have been here for so long? “After Nolan”—it was hard to say it out loud—“stabbed me...how did I get off the rock?”
“I don’t know all the details, but I’ll tell you what I do know. First of all, Nolan is an FBI agent. Or at least he thought he was.”
“Funny, Ted. Now quit trying to cheer me up.” He said nothing for a moment and when I looked into his eyes, I saw he was telling the truth.
“What? There’s no way!” I had spent almost the whole summer with him and felt like I knew him better than I knew myself. How could I not have known that he worked for a federal agency? But then I remembered the briefcase of gadgets I found under his bed before the Fourth of July party.
Ted went on. “He was placed in the Dells as a field agent this summer.” Then that friendly Ted-smile that I had come to love made an appearance. “I knew there was something fishy about that dude.”
I laughed nervously at his comment. Something fishy, indeed.
“Anyway—and here’s where I’m a little shaky on the details—there is something about you and your family that the authorities were investigating.”
“What? Me and my family?”
“Yeah, something about that blue rock in your bedroom. So anyway, Nolan’s boss thought you and your family were going to use the rock to create some sort of nuclear weapon and decided that you needed to die for your criminal plots. Oh, and he also decided that Nolan was the one who was supposed to kill you.”
“That rock is nuclear? The FBI will kill you if you are a criminal? I’m so confused!”
“Now Ava, try to pay attention. I said Nolan thought he worked for the FBI. Turned out it was some evil man named Myers who headed up some covert, fake government outfit and made Nolan believe he worked for the FBI.” He took a big breath. “Anyway, Nolan had no choice but to pray you didn’t die and hope I would find you in time.”
“Wait, wait, wait. You came to rescue me?” I was shocked. I didn’t know Ted and Nolan had any communications since that night at the Dairy Queen booth. “You’ve gotta back up. I had no idea you two were friends.”
“Well, not friends, exactly, but Nolan understood the friendship you and I share. He knew if you were in trouble, I wouldn’t think twice about coming to help you out.”
I was trying to put it all together in my brain, but it still wasn’t making sense. My face must have displayed my confusion because Ted went on.
“The morning of the night you were stabbed, Nolan showed up downtown when I was driving shuttle. He pulled me around the corner to the alleyway and spoke in whispers. I could tell there was something wrong, so I paid careful attention even though I never trusted the guy. Nolan gave me a black box with a screen on the top and told me that I needed to watch it all day. It was a GPS device, and if the light on the top lit up, it meant that I needed to follow the directions on the screen to find the other tracking piece. He said you might be in trouble, and I was the only one who could save you from serious danger. I had no clue what he meant, but he looked so stressed and serious that I got the feeling I should do what he said. Before I could ask him any questions, he told me you would thank me later and then left quickly. I immediately called you, but you must’ve had your phone turned off on the boat.”
I listened, not knowing exactly what it all could mean.
“I kept that box on me all day, and it did absolutely nothing. I tried calling your phone several times, but you never answered. Then after work, I was trying to distract myself by watching TV with Mr. Kitty when the thing lit up like a Christmas tree. The screen showed a map of the area by the community pool, and there was a little star labeled ‘Ava’ right on top of Make Out Rock. At first I thought it was some kind of little joke or something, but then I thought about Nolan’s demeanor downtown that morning, and I figured I needed to check it out.
“I drove my butt down to the rock as fast as I could and ran all the way down the tracks to the rock. That’s when I about crapped my pants. You were lying there unconscious in a pool of blood, and sitting on top of your shoulder was a tiny black button sticker emitting the same lights as the ones on top of the GPS box in my hand. I called 911 immediately, and they rushed you off to this hospital. You went through surgery to repair the kidney that he barely brushed with the knife.”
My jaw was stuck in the open position. This all seemed farfetched, but I didn’t think Ted could make up something like that. “That clears things up a bit, although I still have a lot of questions,” I said. “One of which being, if I had surgery that night, then why have I been in the hospital for two weeks? And where am I exactly? Some kind of high-tech hospital?”
“I’m not sure I’m the best person to answer all those questions. It gets pretty technical from here, but it has something to do with that blue rock a
t your house. Apparently it’s been emitting some type of crazy space radiation and you and your family had to go through some kind of futuristic gene therapy here at the Milwaukee FBI hospital or you’d turn into psychos.”
A laugh snuck out of my lips. “Ah, Ted, I’m pretty sure you made that up.” I shook my head with disbelief.
“Not even one word. Absolutely not.” He looked very seriously at me.
“So that’s why my mom looks sick?” I suddenly felt a chill and pulled the thin hospital blanket up to my chin.
“Yes. Apparently the rest of your family got the least of the radiation, but they were all treated.”
“It was in my room,” I whispered quietly and Ted went on.
“You had much higher levels of radiation and had to undergo pretty intense therapy, but the FBI doctors believe you all will be completely normal.”
“Wow... Okay, that is a lot to take in.” I stared at the wall for a moment thinking about everything Ted had just told me. Then I reached over and squeezed his hand. “Thank you, Ted, for saving my life.” I smiled at him, and he mirrored my face back to me.
“Not at all, my dear.”
I had a lot more questions for Ted, but my doctor came in and decided it was time for him to leave and let me get some rest. Ted said he’d be back to see me the next day.
That night I was feeling much better and decided I couldn’t wait any longer to see Nolan. As soon as the night nurse believed I had fallen asleep, I carefully got out of bed and shuffled over to the door. I stuck my head out and looked down to the nurse’s station. It was very quiet and there wasn’t any movement in the hallway, so I crept out of the door and walked down the hallway until I saw Nolan’s name on a doorplate.
My heart stopped for what felt like many seconds. I looked back at the nurse’s station. No movement. With shaking hands, I slowly pushed open the door to Nolan’s room. My heart dropped into my stomach when I saw him lying there on the bed. His blue eyes were closed, and he looked so peaceful. Although I could tell he had been sick, he still was breathtakingly beautiful to me.
My brain flashed back to the moment he stabbed me and I panicked. I quickly backtracked toward to door to leave, but then I heard him speak.
“Ava?” His voice was hoarse like he hadn’t used it in many days. “My beautiful Ava?”
I said nothing as I took a step back towards him. The corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly.
“Can’t stay away, huh?” He stared at me with those baby blue eyes, and I could feel my heart melting. “I am so ecstatic you are alive.” Then he restated. “Actually, I was pretty darned sure I would miss all your major organs.” He chuckled a little under his breath, but then grimaced with pain. He paused and searched my face. He raised his hand slowly off the bed and motioned for me to take the chair next to him. “Could you ever find it within yourself to forgive me?”
I didn’t know what to say. There were so many questions still in my mind. If what Ted said was true, then Nolan was a good guy. But how could he be good if he had lied to me for the past three months?
I began with the most basic question. “Nolan Hill, who are you?”
He smiled and took my hand. “I guess I owe you that much.” Then he looked deep into my eyes and very slowly said, “My name is Nolan Hill. I am a twenty-five-year-old native of Chicago, and I am in desperate, all-encompassing love with you, Ava Gardner.”
And for now, that was all I needed to hear. I leaned over and kissed him sweetly, hoping he could feel forgiveness in my lips.
Acknowledgments
My deepest gratitude to my husband, Wes, who although he may have wanted to, he never once rolled his eyes, scoffed, or openly reprimanded me whenever I (yet again) cracked open my laptop to dive into my world of Ava and Nolan (especially when I should have been cleaning the house, doing the laundry, or making dinner instead). Thank you so much for allowing me to chase my dreams. I love you!
Many thanks to my personal cheerleaders, Mindy and Lori, who had the loudest voices in raising me up into a level of confidence that could bring me to this accomplishment. I couldn’t have reached this point without you!
To my benevolent editor, Carl Stratman, who offered me phenomenal suggestions, careful edits, and a cheap service! Without your generosity, I don’t think this would have been possible.
A big thank you to my awesome graphic designer, Hannah Christian Hess, whose creative efforts blew my mind! Thank you so much for your willingness to help me out! http://www.hannahchristian.com/
Thanks to all the readers who gave my debut novel a try! I hope you’ll stay tuned for the next installment of The Carrier Series!
And finally, with grateful appreciation deep in my heart, thank you, Lena, for your positive support, your willingness to research for me, and your truthful advice. Love you.
Excerpt from the next book in The Carrier Series: The Defender
Nolan parked his silver Audi near the baseball fields behind the community pool. He pushed the button on the dash to turn off the engine, and then reached over to grab my hand. My insides felt like there were a thousand tiny daggers poking my organs. I squeezed Nolan’s hand for comfort. It was his idea to visit the place where our lives drastically changed a bit more than six weeks before, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready just yet.
Nolan let out a deep sigh. “Are you ready for this?”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to suppress the horror of that night, but I couldn’t keep the thoughts from my brain. I was stabbed and left to die right on that rock in the distance. But I knew Nolan was right—visiting Make Out Rock was part of our healing.
Nolan narrowed his eyes with concern and then placed his other hand on top of our already interlaced fingers.
I smiled weakly. How does he always make me feel so safe?
“Yes. Ready or not, let’s do this.” Then I let go of his hand and reached for the door handle. I rubbed my stomach—the daggers were still poking.
Was this really a great idea?
Nolan met me around the front bumper with his arms open wide. I walked right into them and they closed around me like safety gates. I snuggled the side of my head into the crook under his shoulder. It was my favorite spot to be.
Nolan lowered his face into my hair, inhaled deeply, and loudly exhaled. I knew he was smelling my hair—a habit of his that I treasured. “Let’s go over there before I chicken out,” he said.
Ah ha. So he felt a little nervous as well.
Nolan let go of my back, grabbed my shoulders, and held me at arms length. “Ava Gardner, you are the reason for my existence. I swear to heaven above that I will do everything in my power to keep you safe from evil.”
I giggled a little. “Safe from evil? Sounds like a comic book line.”
“You’d be surprised how much this life resembles the world of comic books.” He gently kissed my lips, making my knees wonderfully weak, and then grabbed my left hand and led me off in the direction of the train tracks.
Today the sky was a brilliant blue backdrop to the fluffy white clouds. A gentle breeze with a tiny bite of cold Wisconsin air blew the hair from my sweater-covered shoulders. It was a beautiful fall day by anyone’s standards. The tree’s leaves were just beginning to display their gorgeous colors, and I could faintly hear a tour boat chugging its way down the Wisconsin River off in the distance.
As we crossed the train tracks, I could feel Nolan’s hand begin to shake in mine. He was the one who stabbed me, but it was a warranted part of a desperate plan to save my life from a sinister man who thought I was a hardened criminal. Messed up? Yes, I knew. But even so, last summer was a chapter of my life that I wouldn’t change for anything. It was one that helped me find the love of my life. I wanted nothing more than to be with Nolan Hill for the rest of my days and I was pretty sure he felt the exact same way.
The thick, green screen of trees and bushes that hid the entrance to Make Out Rock in the summer was now lying in heaps of red and
yellow leaves at the foot of bare branches, leaving the entrance exposed and open. We easily found the deep-cut pathway and scaled our way down to the top of the towering rock ledge.
Partway down I stopped dead in my tracks as my mind quickly flashed back to that dark night. Nolan felt me drawback, and stopped his momentum to wrap his arms around my body. My knees began to shake and my stomach turned over, but at the same time I knew this was a mental hurdle I’d have to jump.
Nolan began to rub the side of my arms and kissed my forehead sweetly. “Maybe I was wrong. Let’s get out of here. We can visit in a few months.”
I looked up through the tears forming in my eyes. How was I lucky enough to love someone who loved me even more in return? I wanted him to understand. “No, Nolan. I want to do this.” I looked down at the ground, gravity pulling a tiny tear out of my eye. “Although that was the worst night of my life, I need to be here with you now. To prove to myself that I can move on.” The daggers were still dancing in my stomach.
Nolan’s blue eyes glittered in the autumn sunlight. He placed his fingers on my jawline, stroking my chin with his thumb. I felt like melting right into his hand. He opened his mouth to speak a few times but said nothing.
Finally he said, “I would feel humbled and gracious if you could find it within yourself to someday forgive me and trust me once more. I know it will take time, but I am willing to wait as long as it takes.”
Then before I could answer, he slowly pulled me in and held his lips half an inch from mine. His warm breath lingered on my mouth and wanted so much for him to go the rest of the distance, but he held his position, teasing me carefully. Right as I was ready to go in for the touchdown myself, he sensed my impatience, and kissed me with much emotion.
I led Nolan by the hand to the middle of the rock ledge, and we both sat down. The familiar beauty of the Dells had calmed my breathing, and I could feel the daggers backing off. A deep, cleansing breath of the natural air refreshed my lungs. I watched the gentle, swirling brown water flow down river and my mind was flooded with memories of a summer filled with adventures with Nolan. Falling in love with him had been easy and natural.