“Okay. But do me a favor?” She almost hated herself for her weakness, but she was stretched too thin not to ask for his help. She wouldn’t make it through this otherwise, and he needed her to make it through her story. Even the ugly parts.
“Sure.”
“Keep touching me?” she asked. “It makes it easier to stay calm, be brave.”
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. She wanted his mouth on hers more than she could ever remember wanting anything, but it wasn’t to be. He’d already made his position clear: He didn’t want her—not in that way. If she didn’t accept that, it was only going to cause her pain in the long run.
His hand settled on her cheek. His thumb stroked the skin just beneath her eye. “Ready?”
Sophie nodded.
He started the recording, and she immediately wished it was anyone else hearing her story. She didn’t want Riley to know about this part of her life. It was too sad. Too pathetic.
Still, if embarrassing herself was going to save even one other person, she owed it to them to suck it up and deal.
“I don’t remember much about the first time I met Dr. Sage. I think I was four at the time, maybe five. Dad said I was going to see the doctor; then some guy came and picked me up. I rode in his car for a long time. I remember being bored, then afraid. I cried and the guy bought me ice cream. Then I went home.”
“Do you remember what Sage did to you?”
“No. I don’t remember anything that happened, except there was a stain on his white coat. A pen had leaked in his pocket, and it made the shape of a blue squirrel.”
“Where were you living at the time?”
“I don’t know. It was hot. Sticky. We moved around so much—Dad always trying to outrun some irate bookie.”
“Great guy,” said Riley, sarcasm heavy in his tone.
“Yeah. A real peach. I think he got a few hundred bucks every time he let the man take me.”
“He didn’t deserve to be a father.”
“Believe me, letting some doctor poke at me wasn’t the worst thing that man made me do to earn some quick cash.”
As soon as she saw his face darken with anger, she realized her mistake. She never should have opened that door. There was no way she was going to talk about that part of her life—not to a man as good as Riley.
He would never understand.
“I’m sorry. Just forget I said that,” she said.
“I wish I could. You can’t imagine all the things that are going through my mind right now. It makes me wish he were still alive so I could kill him myself.”
“He wasn’t worth the time in prison killing him would have cost you. Just let it go. I have.”
Riley slid his fingers into her hair and massaged her scalp. She wasn’t sure if he did it because he could feel how tense she was or if he was simply trying to offer comfort. All she knew was that it felt good, and on the heels of so many crappy memories, she welcomed whatever good she could find.
“Do you remember any other details that might help us find Sage? Like buildings or roads?”
“No, the place I remember most was isolated. I remember pulling in the first time and wondering where the doctor’s office was. All I saw were a couple of cars, and trees and a big, open area. The road was gravel.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I bent down to pretend I was tying my shoe once and grabbed up a handful of rocks. I threw them at the head of the man who had picked me up. While he was cleaning grit out of his eyes, I ran.”
“What happened?”
“He caught me. I didn’t make it far. He shook me hard enough to rattle my teeth and dragged me right back where he wanted me to go. I was too little to fight.”
Riley’s fingers clenched against her scalp before he realized what he was doing and relaxed again. “Tell me more about this place. Was it a private airstrip, maybe?”
“No. No aircraft that I saw. We went down in an elevator. The guy with me tried to get me to stop crying by telling me about how we were going on an adventure. He said something about how far down we were going, but all it did was scare me more.”
“Underground? That could be useful. Do you remember anything else? Where the elevator was, maybe? How far down you went?”
She’d worked hard to purge all those thoughts from her mind over the years. Even to this day, she couldn’t see a person in a white coat coming at her with a needle and not freak out like a crazy woman. Just thinking about it made her start to sweat. Riley’s hand kept stroking her head, and his touch was the only thing that kept her from shaking.
“I remember a big metal door.”
“Like a garage door?”
“No. More like a cellar. It was flat in the ground, hidden inside a bunch of bushes. I never would have found it without help.”
“Was it guarded?”
As soon as he asked the question, she remembered the men in sunglasses. They had big guns and never smiled. For a long time, she’d thought they were robots. “Yeah.”
“Did you go anywhere else or just to the underground lab?”
“I went to a house when I was really young. There was a little girl living there. She cried every time I came over.”
“Why?”
The memory of pain flooded Sophie. She couldn’t scream. Something was in her mouth. There was a man standing over her, hurting her fingers somehow. Her head was strapped to a table, so she couldn’t see what he was doing. But the little girl was there, in the room. She was crying and promising to be good.
Sophie bolted upright, nearly hitting Riley in the chin with her skull. She flung back the blanket he’d draped over her and paced to the far side of the room.
She couldn’t stay still, not with the memory of the little girl haunting her.
Riley was beside her in a second, his hands moving over her arms as if he was afraid she’d been hurt. “You don’t have to say another word. You’ve helped enough.”
What about that little girl? Was she still out there, hoping someone would save her?
“I can do this. Just give me a sec.”
She paced around, hugging herself. No matter how fast she went, that memory clung to her.
He watched her, and the sympathy in his eyes made her cringe. She had to find a way to toughen up. Stand tall and hide her fear. It was the only way he’d ever respect her.
And she really wanted Riley’s respect. She’d had so little of that in her life, and what he thought about her was far more important than it had been with anyone else she’d ever met.
He was such a good man. If he liked her, then maybe there was something good in her, too. Maybe she wasn’t just a street rat from bad blood who stole and conned people so her dad could gamble and piss away other people’s money.
She glanced Riley’s way. He had one broad shoulder propped against the doorway to his bedroom. He’d given her the space she needed, simply waiting until she got her shit together. He didn’t push, didn’t try to rush her. He was a monolith of patience and honor.
And she loved him so much it made her chest ache to know there wasn’t a single spark of hope that she could ever have him. Not even just for sex.
It would have been nice to pretend that a guy like him could fall for her, if only for as long as it took him to get off. Even a few minutes with a man like him would be potent enough to fuel her fantasies for a long time to come.
A man like him, a nice little house, a couple of kids . . . what she wouldn’t give to live a dream like that. She wouldn’t be like her parents. She’d stick around, take care of her kids, never let anyone touch them.
She’d kill anyone who tried.
“I’ve seen that look before,” said Riley. “Bella wears it all the time. That’s the face of a woman planning violence.”
“Nothing to worry about. The
people I’m willing to do violence for aren’t even born yet. Probably never will be.”
“Not born?”
“Yeah. I was just thinking how I’d never be the kind of parent mine were. Mom just ran off. Dad . . . well, you know what a gem he was. I kinda thought I’d get a chance to set everything right with my own kid, but that didn’t work out, either.”
“You’re going to be a great mom one day.”
Sophie wasn’t so sure. Just how deep did her dysfunction go? Was it in her blood? Would she pass on her damage to her children?
“In all of this research you’ve uncovered, was there ever any sign that what Sage did to us could be passed on to our kids?”
“None that I’ve seen. Besides, any kid that got your brains, looks, and strong will would be lucky.”
She let out a hollow laugh. “Yeah, right. The daughter of a junkie and an alcoholic gambler. Real top-notch genetics.”
“You’re not like them.”
“How do you know? You’ve known me for about forty-five seconds. I could be conning you right now—just like I did all those other men.”
He pushed away from the door and stalked toward her. “What other men?”
She hadn’t meant to tell him. She didn’t want him looking at her like that—like he was right now, all skeptical and fierce.
Sophie backed up a step and tripped over the leg of the coffee table. She started to topple backward, but Riley grabbed her arms and held her up.
“What other men?” he asked again.
She lifted her chin and tried not to let him see just how terrified she was. “There were too many to remember.”
“What did you do?”
“Whatever it took to get their money.”
“Did you ever sleep with them?”
She’d never gone that far, but it had been close. Dad was pushing her to step up her game. He needed more money and told her it was no big deal. Women gave it up all the time for cash. She wasn’t any better than any of those women.
But she wanted to be.
“It’s none of your business,” she said, raising the emotional shields that had kept her safe for years. She couldn’t let this man hurt her. He had way too much power over her, and any blow he delivered would be devastating.
Slowly, he let go of her arms. He stepped back and shoved his hands into his pockets. “You’re right. It’s none of my business who you sleep with or what you had to do to survive. I’m just glad you stayed alive.”
“That’s it? You think I’m a whore and that’s as mad as you’re going to get?”
“What did you expect?”
“Screaming. Throwing things. At me.”
“That’s not the kind of man I am. Besides, I have no right to judge you. I’ll admit that the idea of you being used as an ATM machine gets under my skin, but it’s only because no one should have to be used like that. You deserve better.”
“I got exactly what I deserved—getting abducted, knocked up, and nearly killed by a man I thought would sweep me away from my old life.” She shook her head. “I was such an idiot.”
“You didn’t deserve that, Sophie. It happened and it sucked, but it was something that was done to you, not something you asked for. Not something you earned.”
“You can’t know that. You have no idea what I’ve done.”
He pressed his hand over her heart, just above her breast. Her body lit up at his touch, and her soul ached for more. “Did you ever hurt anyone for fun?”
“No. But I did hurt people.”
“By choice?”
“What do you mean?”
“Did you con anyone your dad didn’t make you con?”
“Just you,” she admitted.
“Me? I never gave you money.”
“No, but I let you think I was good so you’d save my life.”
“Honey, I would have saved your life if you’d had horns sprouting from your head. I saw you standing there in that white nightgown, terrified and vulnerable, and I was a goner. No way was I leaving that place without you in tow. It didn’t matter who you were or what you’d done. All I knew was that I saw you and knew I had to make you safe.”
If she hadn’t already loved him, she would have now.
She reached up and kissed him before she could think better of what she was doing.
His response was immediate and powerful. He grabbed her and lifted her feet from the ground while he took her mouth, kissing her hard enough to steal her ability to think.
Her back hit the wall, freeing his hands to slide along the sides of her waist and down onto her hips. She wrapped her legs around his waist to help support her weight and gave in to the demands of his mouth.
So good. So right. He tasted like the sweetest dreams.
Sophie’s body heated so fast she thought her skin might ignite. Her nipples tightened against the hard planes of his chest. She needed to feel his skin on hers—as much as she could get.
With a hard tug, she ripped his shirt over his head and bared him to the waist. Delicious.
The second his lips left hers, she felt him stiffen, felt the heat of his skin go cold.
“I can’t.” His words were a choked strand of sound.
He eased her feet to the floor and backed away like she was on fire. His lips were red, and the slashes of color across his cheeks and forehead matched. His chest expanded and contracted heavily with several deep breaths.
She had to bite her lip to keep from reaching for him, but she did. She didn’t have much to claim as her own, but her dignity was still mostly intact. Pawing at a man who refused her would change that.
He ran his hand over his face. “I can’t . . . you’re too . . . I just can’t.”
“I’m too what?” she asked, sure she would regret her curiosity. “Whorey? Needy? Broken?”
His gaze met hers, so dark she was completely drawn in. “Too sexy. You make me forget the things I need to remember. Important things. Vital things.”
She wasn’t buying it. He was just letting her off easy. Man and woman alone together in a house with lots of tension and danger around? It was a potent hormonal stew. He might have been turned on by her, but he was smart enough to know she wasn’t a keeper.
No matter how much she wanted to be.
“I understand,” she said. “Won’t happen again.”
She went into his bedroom—the one he’d let her claim as her own—and closed the door. She was about thirty seconds from tears, and she didn’t want a witness to her waterworks.
Tomorrow she’d leave. Either go to her new life, or get another bodyguard, or just take her chances alone. The longer she stayed with Riley, the harder she’d fall for him, and she was smart enough to know that if she fell any harder, she wouldn’t survive the landing.
Chapter Twenty-five
Payton was waiting in his office when Adam and Mira arrived that morning. His hair and clothes were in perfect order, as usual, but Mira had never seen him looking so tired. Haggard.
He looked ancient.
“Have a seat,” he said as they walked in.
“I’m not sure why I even showed up,” said Mira. “You’ve been lying to me for weeks. Doubt that’s stopping now.”
“You showed up because you want your father back in custody as much as I do.”
“Actually, I was happier with him dead.”
“If it makes you feel any better, he detested every second of his stay.”
“It’s something,” she said. “Not enough for me to forget you lied to me, but something.”
Payton’s face sagged a bit more. “I did what was necessary. I hope you’ll come to see that one day.”
“Whatever. Let’s just get this over with. Bella sent a new assignment to me and Adam. I can’t waste all day listening to you not apologize f
or being a flaming asshole.”
“We know where your father is. Generally.”
“What?” she asked, rising from her chair. “Why the hell aren’t we out there getting him?”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Where is he?” asked Adam. His tone was casual, but his posture was anything but. Mira could feel some kind of intense vibe shivering out of him.
Payton shook his head. “Not yet. I tell you that, and you’re out of here before I finish the sentence.”
“Then say what you want us to hear. Fast.”
“Sage was badly wounded when we captured him last year. We sewed him up, but not before surgically implanting him with a tracking device. I don’t think he’s aware it’s there.”
“You mean you’ve been able to find him all this time?” bellowed Mira.
Adam grabbed her hand and urged her back into her seat.
Payton’s gaze zeroed in on the contact, and his eyes narrowed. “Nice the two of you are getting along so well.”
“Fuck off, Payton,” said Mira. “You’ve got sixty seconds before I start figuring out how to track him down myself.”
“You can’t. The tracker isn’t activated. We didn’t want his people to sweep for bugs and detect the signal, so it’s deactivated until we send a signal.”
“And then what?”
“We move in. Take him down.”
“What the hell are you waiting on?” asked Mira.
Again, Adam calmed her down by stroking her palm. His touch had the desired effect, and she could actually feel her blood pressure drop.
“We need to find his labs. I’m almost certain that that’s where he’ll head, but not until he’s sure he’s lost us.”
“How long are you calculating that will take?” asked Adam.
“I can guess. I was hoping Mira might do a better job at it.”
“Guessing?” she asked. “What makes you think I can do any better?”
“He’s your father. You know him better than anyone alive.”
“Only because he’s killed everyone else who ever loved him.”
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