“Get a grip, mister,” Doreen said. “This isn’t fun for any of us, but necessary. Your duds have to fit perfectly for print ads and the runway. And YouTube,” she added. “You owe Miss Alice an apology,” she said with a firm tone and looking him in the face.
“What? The runway?” He glanced over Alice to Connie. “Do I have to do that?”
“Yep, part of the deal.”
“No, I can’t. It could jeopardize my job. No, can’t,” he repeated.
Doreen glared at him. “The apology?”
“Oh, yeh, sorry Alice. I was caught off guard. Do what you have to do, but be delicate, please.”
She nodded, scraped up the pins and took her time sticking them in the pin cushion on her wrist. Connie noticed her glasses seemed more fogged than usual.
~
After Jaeda left with little Jake tucked under his arm, Doreen pulled Connie aside. She had slipped out of her plaid skirt and put on her own clothes, her favorite sweats. She tossed a treat to Striker who laid down with his chin on his forepaws and sighed.
“I’m worried, Con, about the Jaeda guy. How did it go in New York?”
“It went really well, Dor, considering. He was wonderful and attentive and gave a great eulogy for his grandma, and didn’t seem a bit embarrassed by me.”
“Why would he have been embarrassed? You are the perfect lady, always gracious.” She cocked her head exploring Connie’s face for the answer.
Connie rolled her eyes.
“Oh, I get it,” Doreen said.
“Yep, my whiteness.”
“Did that really matter? Did either of you get any negative feedback?”
“Not blatantly. A bit subtly. Thinly veiled.” Connie crossed her arms in front of her and rubbed her elbows with her hands. She explained about the nasty remark she heard the one man say, how it had hurt her.
“Con,” Doreen placed her hands on her friend’s shoulders not too gently. “If you really care about Jaeda, and,” she paused to be sure Connie was paying attention, “if you have any kind of a future together, that remark was just the appetizer. More to come, maybe for a lifetime.”
Connie nodded and collapsed in Doreen’s arms weeping. “It’s so confusing. I really like him, but not just as a friend.” She searched Doreen’s face, then confessed. “I think I’m falling in love with him. I feel so lost.” Doreen smiled and hugged her.
~
Jaeda kicked the sheets off his feet and Jake growled. Jaeda growled back, but more to the empty room than to Jake who had settled down again taking over more space on the bed. What was he going to do? “Please, God, guide me,” he pleaded whispering out loud. His whispered words seemed to bounce around the room, and he kicked at the sheets again. He wasn’t sure what was disturbing him more, his family’s overly gracious acceptance of Connie or the stupid runway walk in his future. It was a senseless comparison, and he knew it. Both were ego-centered, both silly worries that could be overcome with God’s grace.
Then it hit him. In bed, in the middle of the night. It was Connie. His feelings for her. He got out of bed and sat on the lone chair in his room, the one Keona had insisted on buying to sit on to put on her shoes. Silly, he’d thought at the time. Now, he was glad to have another spot to pray and concentrate besides the edge of the bed. He settled into the elaborate brocade fabric and wondered why he hadn’t ditched this chair and replaced it with a more masculine one. Another thought for another time. He shook his head, maybe to dislodge the cobwebs, and opened his Bible, the print one instead of the cell phone ap one.
He wasn’t sure why his fingers went to James. He had hoped for some insight from Proverbs, or maybe John, but James it was. James 5:9 told him to not grumble against other believers. Mmm. A message about Alice and Doreen, and even Connie?
His fingers flipped a few pages back to land on James 1. He had asked God to guide him, so? He was not asking in the right way, but in a double-minded way. The Epistle writer confirmed it. He read the passages again. Was his faith being tested? He wanted the ‘crown of life’ that was promised to him. He wanted to ‘be mature’ without finding fault. He wanted the ‘pure joy.’ He wanted Connie’s love. He read the passage again, out loud this time. Loudly.
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. . . .
He skipped a few verses hoping the one he clung to was the right one. For him.
12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
Jaeda closed the book and crawled into bed. Jake woofed in his sleep.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Connie shuffled in her fuzzy slippers to the bathroom. She turned on the shower and stepped in to almost scalding water. The spray felt awesome on her aching back. Bending over with Alice yesterday while she was pinning Jaeda and Doreen had taken its toll. She needed to work out again, but time was still of the essence. Maybe it was those staying up until two a.m. nights. Hard to rise at six to run to the gym.
Doreen had given her the speeches. The Biblical and Candy Cane speeches. Where was her faith? She felt as if she had lost it and was wandering. After she dressed she called Natalie and hoped.
She could hear Natalie shuffling papers. Probably at her desk in her gym office. She apologized for interrupting. “Hey, girl, that’s what Candy Canes are for – prayer.” Nat’s voice gave her courage and confirmation.
She shared everything with Natalie; the trip to New York, the incident with the negative comment, the love displayed to her by Jaeda’s family, the silly tea request on the airplane, even Jaeda’s runway reluctance. Everything.
Suddenly realizing she would be late for church, even the ten o’clock service, she thanked Natalie with a blessing and hung up.
That’s when her cell rang. Jaeda.
~
Jaeda could hardly believe he had boldly asked to go to church with her. And, that she told him to wear nice jeans or very casual clothes. His mother would disinherit him if she knew. His father would ask what kind of church it was. Connie had giggled in delight at his request, so he was committed and pulled into a First Time Visitor parking spot – next to Connie.
“Hey, you aren’t a first timer! You sure you should be here?”
“I know,” she said, “but so few use these spots, and when I’m running late I do because they are right in front.”
He noticed there were about five more empty spots, and no cars pulling into them. The praise music was booming into the large quad. Mariners was a huge church, enormous by his standards. They walked down a double set of stairs from the parking lot before even getting close to the sanctuary. She reminded him it is called a worship center or auditorium. When they finally entered, he understood why. Must be many hundreds of bodies in many layers. They climbed more stairs to the second large tier where Connie found two seats in a middle row, so they had to scoot past a dozen people. Whew! She explained she liked to sit up high so she could see the whole stage. No complaining from him. He was the guest.
The worship team was led by guitarist Tim Timmons. He had heard his songs on the radio and felt at least he knew someone there. He especially liked the ones Tim had written himself. Learning he could buy a CD after service at the bookstore, he knew he would head over there. If Connie agreed.
How, he wondered, could anyone fellowship with other believers in such an enormous crowd? As people poured out after
hearing and watching Pastor Kenton race across the stage while delivering a dynamic message and a thousand voices singing the last praise song, he found out. He and Connie had gotten separated when she went to the ladies room. Looking around for her in the quad, he discovered her chatting and hugging a group of worshipers. Not all women as he would have expected. About half men, and a few children. Finally, she excused herself, waved and trotted over to him. Clasping his arm she guided him to the crowded bookstore. What a treat!
He browsed as quickly as possible in several sections and ended choosing two of the latest Tim Timmons CDs. When he got to the counter to pay, after standing in a long, snaking line, and having déjà vu of the TSA lines at the airports, he saw the point of purchase items. Mostly jewelry. Connie fingered a few, but she kept touching and retouching a slender silver bracelet with a tiny dangling cross. Just before the clerk rang up his purchases, he pulled one off the display and laid it on the counter. “For my funny, and beautiful, Connie,” he said.
“Oh, she must be very special,” the clerk responded.
“She IS!”
The gray-haired woman smiled warmly looking at Connie. “She is,” she said, “and she deserves this.” Then she asked, “Engaged?”
Jaeda was flabbergasted. Another E-Ma expression, but in his head. “Uh, not yet,” he replied. Connie put a hand to her mouth and turned away. Her face blushing red.
“Sorry,” the woman said. “Presumptuous of me. Hope I didn’t spoil anything.”
~
Jaeda almost felt like going back and kissing the woman. In retrospect, it was an inappropriate question. But somehow it gave him courage. He had expected to be uncomfortable at church, having people look askance at Connie and him because of their different colors. He was stretched out on his bed, Jake prone between his legs, and just thinking. Suddenly, he remembered a phrase Connie and Doreen often used when discussing designs. Color combo! That’s what he and Connie were, a color combo. He lifted Jake off to the side and pushed the button on his cell for her.
“We are what?” She sounded confused.
“We are, sweet, funny Connie. That’s what we are.” He waited, hoping she would get it.
“Uh. I guess.”
“I mean us.” He hoped his voice was strong and reassuring.
“About designs, fabrics?” She hadn’t gotten it yet. So, he prayed.
“Us, Connie, us.”
“You mean because I am white and you are black? I don’t get it.”
Finally he said, “Meet me at Little Corona. I will explain. Please,” he begged.
~
Connie donned her favorite teal sweats. A little heavy, but the beach could get extremely cold in the evening, even the protected one at Little Corona. When she arrived and parked on Poppy Street, she was glad. It was already chilly, and the sea breeze was blowing. She had parked in front of her mother’s old friend’s quaint beach house. Just three houses away from the path down the steep slope to the small beach. She passed four opulent houses, one blocked by huge trees, all almost touching the path and overlooking the ocean. What would it be like to live in one of these? She had been here many times, but had never seen a human on a porch or even looking out a window. Measuring her steps, she stumbled on a loose stone and almost lost her balance. That’s when she felt his arm.
“I am here, Connie. I am here.” Hearing him repeat it made her feel safe. But, what was ahead? Why did he want to meet here? Maybe because here is where they had had their first kiss?
Jaeda held her arm firmly, and led her down the steep path. She felt safe. She took off her Converses and wiggled her toes in the sand. She turned to him with questioning eyes.
~
Jaeda looked out at the rolling waves. Seagulls swooped down to grab leftover morsels from the beach. Pelicans sat sentry on floating logs. The sky was bleak, wash water gray. A seal hunkered on a floating jetsam. During the few bay excursions he’d taken with visiting friends, they had seen several seals sunning themselves on discarded floaters and sometimes on floating buoys. He saw this one’s mouth open and could almost hear its bark.
Forecasting rain? Maybe he needed to hurry.
Connie was laughing at the gulls and racing toward them to see them skitter and fly away. She was having such a great time he hated to interrupt. He ran to keep up with her and grabbed her hand. She looked at him questioningly, then smiled and squeezed back.
Maybe this was going okay. Maybe he would have the courage. Please, God, give that to me. He fingered the tiny box in the pocket of his swimsuit. It was not from the opulent Traditional Jewelers in Fashion Island, but from his dad. It could not be exchanged or even returned. It had been E-Ma’s. Dad found it in crumpled tissue when he was going through her things. The worn velvet box had been taped on the bottom to an envelope. The greeting on the address side of the business sized envelope was in his grandmother’s ancient scrawl. To Jaeda for his true love. Wear in love. Under the flap was a single folded sheet of yellow lined paper. Again in his E-Ma’s scribble were these words: This is for the woman who truly loves you and makes you happy and gives me great-grandchildren even if I have to love them from heaven.
E-Ma
PS ~ That is why this is not for Keona.
Oh, boy, E-Ma knew Keona was not the right one for him. But, how? He thought about the times he had brought Keona home to meet his family, especially E-Ma. His then wife was cool and aloof, even dismissed E-Ma like she was a demented old woman, not the matriarch and exceptional lady she was. He remembered feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed about Keona’s behavior, even toward his parents. He chalked it up to nerves. But, he found out later he was wrong. She had tried so hard to make an impression, one that set her above, one that indicated she was more educated, more important than they. He tucked the sour memories back into the pocket of his former life and looked at Funny Connie, the woman who deserved E-Ma’s ring.
He loved the cut, the design reminded him of her, pure and simple, no fancy embellishments. He prayed she would love it, too. The stone was the color of Connie’s eyes, like the sky on a clear day over the rolling blue waves of the ocean.
She turned to him laughing pointing to the gulls and that silly seal sitting out on the floater. She wrapped her arms around his waist, and he felt her warmth and, hopefully, her love.
Did he have the courage to make his move, to say the words? Maybe if he kissed her like he had that other time on the beach. Maybe.
He tilted her adorable chin and for the first time noticed its dimple. How had he missed that? Probably because he had been concentrating on her beautiful lips. Tracing his finger along the indentation it explored her perfect throat, long and elegant like a snowy egret’s. White. Very white. Was that what was holding him back? Her whiteness?
Did God have categories for color? He remembered Connie asking him about Adam and Eve in Genesis. Jaeda closed his eyes and prayed. He pulled the little velvet box out of his trunks and clasped it tightly in his hand. God gave him a nudge. It was now, or maybe never.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Connie thought about doing one of those group phone calls, but she wasn’t sure how to do it. Instead, she called Doreen first. She knew Jaeda personally as her co-model and had encouraged Connie to pursue the relationship.
“You’re what? You are? How wonderful and exciting.” Doreen finished with a “God bless you both.”
Next was Noelle and Melanie and good old Natalie who always seemed to be the most available Candy Cane. Cindy and Candy would have to wait since one was in another country and the other on her honeymoon.
She took a picture of her ring and sent it by text to all. Even to Cindy and Candy. They would get the drift. Then, she decided to be brave and send it to her mom and Sandra. She knew Sandra probably had text, but did her mom?
Tons of questions and requests came back. Send us a photo of him, when is the wedding, tell all. She was overwhelmed, out of her league. Then, she got an idea. She called her friend Peggy, an o
utstanding photographer who had won awards and taken back cover photos for famous authors. Peggy lived in Corona del Mar. And, she had no problem with mixed color couples. Now, to get Jaeda to agree.
~
Jaeda looked at her request again on email. Why didn’t she just call him? So, he called her.
“It will be fun, Jaed. On the beach where we first kissed and where you asked me.” He could hear the excitement in her voice. “Bring Jake. He’s so cute and really is a part of this.”
Jaeda parked his car on Poppy and tucked little Jake under his arm. Was an engagement photo really necessary? Women! Guess he was learning.
He stumbled clumsily down the path to Little Corona Beach expecting to see Connie there. Instead, he was greeted with melodic laughter. “Hi, Jaeda,” she said. “I’m Peggy, the photographer.” She tossed her gray blonde curls amid more laughter. He had expected to find a silly woman in her twenties, maybe thirties. But, the Peggy woman was maybe old enough to be his mother. After all, she had won many awards. What had he been thinking? He was cool with that, and with her.
He liked her firm handshake, so she was okay in his book. But, what about all the excited comments and questions? How did he and Connie meet? What was the defining moment in their relationship? Tell her about things they had done together. How did he propose? Where?
He stopped her questions and asked his own whys. She explained knowing more about the couple and their love gave her more insight about how to photograph them. “Make sense?” she asked. She finally asked what he did as a living, as a career. She said she knew all about Connie being a designer, but what about him?
He swallowed hard trying to ignore the basketball sized lump in his throat. Did he have to share about the modeling situation? He decided to tell Peggy about his real career as a manager at a bank. She picked up on that. So, he guessed it all okay. Was it?
Connie's Silver Shoes (The Candy Cane Girls Book 4) Page 6