by John Rector
Instead I smiled.
“What about your son? If we come to an understanding, what’s to stop him from opening his mouth to someone else?”
“My foot in his ass, that’s what.”
Tolliver had the knife down at his side, and for a moment neither of us moved. Then I pointed, said, “You can put that away. I’m not planning on doing anything.”
He looked at me for a moment, hesitated, then moved the knife around behind him and slid it under his belt. “That’s good. Ain’t no reason we can’t keep it friendly.”
Jessica mumbled something behind me.
I ignored her.
“Both my boys will keep their mouths shut. You ain’t got to worry about them.”
“Both?”
Tolliver shrugged. “One of ’em tells the other, can’t be helped.”
“Jesus,” I said. “Who else knows?”
Tolliver took another drag of his cigarette. “I’m telling you, they won’t say a damn word to anyone else.” He paused.
“You don’t believe me?”
I thought of Dorothy Tolliver and her bruises.
“I believe you.”
“Good. Then let’s discuss the details.”
I shook my head. “No.”
Frank Tolliver smiled. “You think that’s smart?”
“I meant, no, not right now. I got someplace to be. If you want to talk about this, it’ll have to be later tonight.”
I knew Jessica was behind me.
I could feel her.
“When later?”
I gave him a time.
“You sure you gonna be here?”
I told him I would. “I’m going to the sheriff’s house for a while, but I’ll be here after.”
“What are you going there for?”
“Dinner.”
Frank Tolliver didn’t seem to understand, so I explained it to him.
“What you got planned right now? Lunch with the mayor?”
He laughed.
“No,” I said.
“Coffee with the president?”
I shook my head, letting him laugh. His teeth were stained yellow and black.
I told him about the search party.
He stopped laughing, stared at me.
I nodded.
“Jesus,” he said. “You really are a crazy fucker.”
CHAPTER 30
I was expecting Jessica to yell, to follow me around all morning telling me I was an idiot and wasting my time talking to Tolliver.
But she didn’t.
After Tolliver left, I didn’t see her at all, which was good. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with her. I’d figure out what needed to be done about him, but right now, I needed to get ready to meet Liz.
The idea of spending the afternoon with Liz blocked out everything else. This was my chance to put my marriage back together.
I took a bottle of whiskey from the kitchen and carried it with me to the bathroom. My hands shook, and I took a drink before running the water and getting in the shower. Every once in a while I’d hear a noise in another room, but I wasn’t too concerned. If Jessica wanted to talk to me, she knew where I was.
After my shower, I went into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. The clock on the nightstand still flashed 12:00, and judging by the small size of the shadows outside, I figured it was pretty close to right.
I capped the bottle and pulled some clean clothes out of my dresser. We weren’t meeting until one o’clock, but I wanted to get there early in case Ellen hadn’t told Liz I was coming. Part of me hoped she hadn’t said anything just so I could surprise her.
After I dressed, I took one last drink and slid the bottle into the back pocket of my jeans and headed for the door. When I got to the living room, I saw Jessica sitting along the far wall by the window. She was staring out at the field and absently tapping her nails on the chair’s wooden armrest.
I stopped at the door. She didn’t look up.
“I’ll handle him tonight,” I said.
Her head was still turned away, and her hair fell across her face.
“Did you hear me?”
She stopped tapping her fingers, said, “You’re full of shit.”
I started to say something else, to defend myself, but I stopped. If I wanted to get to the docks early, I needed to hurry. I would have to work things out with Jessica later.
“I guess you’ll see,” I said, then opened the door.
Jessica started tapping the armrest again, but this time the sound was different, louder. I turned and looked back.
The flesh on her fingertips was missing. The sound they made was bone against wood.
CHAPTER 31
I parked in the corner of the parking lot where I had a view of the docks. Several people had already gathered on the landing, arranging themselves into their preassigned groups.
I didn’t see Liz, but it was still early.
I glanced over at the bottle on the passenger seat, then picked it up and put it in the glove compartment. If I was going to do this, I wanted to do it right. If I was drunk, Liz would know.
Once the bottle was out of sight, I wanted it more than ever.
I considered getting out and heading down to the landing, putting some distance between me and the bottle, but the thought of being in the middle of all those people repulsed me. I wouldn’t know what to say.
I decided to mingle from a distance.
I leaned forward, turned on the radio, and flipped around the dial until I found an oldies station. I didn’t recognize the song, but it was catchy. I sat back and listened, trying not to think about the bottle calling to me from the glove compartment.
More people were beginning to gather down below. Every now and then I’d see someone I recognized, but most of them were strangers. Liz would’ve known them, without a doubt. She’d always been the social one, while I made it a point to keep my distance. It was an arrangement that worked well for us over the years.
A white van pulled into the lot and parked a few spaces down.
The words Riverbank Café were printed on the side.
I saw Mrs. Colton get out and walk around back and open the rear doors. Then her husband joined her on the other side.
For a moment, I didn’t know what to think.
I couldn’t imagine why she’d come with him. This was a small town. I was sure people must’ve heard what he’d tried to do to Jessica by now.
I thought about what she’d told me, and anger swelled at the base of my spine, primitive and violent.
I reached for the door handle, but I didn’t get out.
Instead, I watched Mrs. Colton hand her husband trays covered with aluminum foil, then point toward the landing down below. She didn’t seem angry, and I wondered what he’d said to her. How did he justify something like that? What if he was the one who’d killed Jessica?
Did she know?
What if she’d been a part of it?
Mrs. Colton started toward the stairs leading down to the landing, and Mr. Colton followed. I imagined myself coming up behind him and kicking him square in the back, then watching him fall, headfirst down the sharp stone steps, skin flaying, bones breaking. It was exactly what he deserved.
I squeezed the door handle.
They were almost at the steps. All I had to do was get in behind him and wait until—
Someone knocked on the passenger window.
The sound felt like a blow to the chest, and I jumped back against my chair with a sharp cry.
Greg stood at the window, laughing.
“Jesus Christ.” I waited until my heart slowed a bit, then leaned over and unlocked the passenger door. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”
Greg took off his hat and slid into the cab, still laughing. “Jumpy today, Dex?”
I glanced back toward the stairs just as the Coltons started down. I frowned, turning back toward Greg, my heart still beating heavy.
“I am now.”
&nb
sp; “Sorry about that.” He looked over at me and stopped smiling. “What the hell happened to you?”
I didn’t know what he was talking about.
“Your face,” he said.
I moved the rearview mirror so I could see myself. The swelling around the bites was almost gone, but the scabs were still there.
“It looks worse than it is,” I said.
“Really? Because it looks pretty damn bad.”
I told him about falling asleep outside.
He frowned. “Fell asleep or passed out?”
“What’s the difference?”
“If you don’t know, then you’ve got a bigger problem than I thought.”
I turned back toward the window. “What the hell is Paul Colton doing here? Isn’t he a suspect?”
“A suspect for what?”
“What do you mean, for what?”
“Dex, all we got is a missing girl who more than likely ran away. There’s no crime so far.”
“Yeah, but if what I’ve heard is true—”
“What have you heard?”
I didn’t say anything.
“Don’t listen to talk, Dex. You of all people know how that kind of thing can get out of control.”
He was right, I did.
After a while Greg said, “Why aren’t you down there with everyone else?”
“Waiting for Liz.”
Greg smiled; then it was gone.
“Does she know you’re here?”
“Are you asking me if I’m stalking her?”
“I suppose I am.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. I don’t know why I found his honesty funny, but I did.
“No,” I said. “I’m not stalking her, but I’m not sure she knows I’m here, either.”
I told him about the accidental meeting at the grocery store and her mentioning the search party. I told him how I’d laughed at the idea, then changed my mind and put my name on the list.
“But you didn’t tell her?”
“I called, but she wasn’t around. I talked to her mother, told her.”
“That should be OK.”
“We’ll see. Ellen forgets things. Chances are this will be a surprise.”
“Seems like a strange place to reunite. Why not just meet for lunch somewhere?”
“That’s why I laughed at her when she asked me,” I said. “But these days I’ll take what I can get.”
Greg nodded. “Well, I’m happy for you.” He opened the door and started to slide out then stopped. “You want to come down with me? Maybe she’s already here.”
“I would’ve seen her.”
“Come down with me anyway,” he said. “I need to get this search started, no matter how big a waste of time it turns out to be.”
“Why do you say that?”
Greg shrugged. “They won’t find anything.”
“How do you know?”
“Just a feeling,” he said. “But this kind of thing makes people feel better, less helpless. That’s important.” He put his hat on and stepped back from the door. “You coming?”
I hesitated.
Greg leaned against the door and said, “You look weird sitting out here, Dex. If Liz shows up, it’ll look better if you’re not hiding out in your car. Trust me on this one.”
I thought about it for a moment, then shut off the engine and got out of the truck. He had a point.
“Good man,” Greg said. He walked around and clapped me on the shoulder. “Let’s go join the rest of the world.”
“That’s pushing it.”
We walked across the parking lot to the stairs leading down to the docks. As we went, I scanned the crowd, hoping to see Liz. I didn’t, and a hollow feeling started to form inside my chest. I pushed it away.
It was still early.
CHAPTER 32
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, Greg held out his hand and said, “Good luck with Liz. I want to hear all about it tonight.”
I’d almost forgotten. “Right, dinner tonight.”
“You’re still coming?”
I nodded. “I’ll be there.”
We shook, and then he moved off toward the crowd.
I stood for a moment before walking to the edge of the landing and leaning against the rail. In front of me, the Missouri River slid past like soiled silver.
This had been Jessica’s favorite spot. I could see why. Take away all the people and it was beautiful.
I turned around and leaned back against the rail, facing the crowd. After a few minutes, I began to regret not bringing the bottle along.
“You looking for your group?”
I turned toward the voice and shook my head. “No,” I said. “Looking for my wife.”
The man standing there laughed, rattling and fake. “I can’t help you there. Mine wanders off, too.”
I grunted and looked past him toward a line of tables with red and blue tablecloths and several trays of food. The Coltons were standing behind them, serving.
“My name is Marcus,” the man said. “I work with Jessica’s dad.”
I watched Paul lean close to Mrs. Colton and whisper something. She threw her head back and laughed. The sound was loud and unashamed.
“I remember Jess when she was just a little bitty thing, cute as can be.” The man paused. “Are you a friend of the family, too?”
I shook my head, still staring at Paul, still not believing he had the guts to show his face around here, or that these people would let him.
“Sort of,” I said. “I know Jessica.”
“Is that so?”
The tone of the man’s voice had shifted, and I thought it might be best to change the subject.
“Do you see that guy over there? Behind the table?”
The man turned and nodded. “Paul? Sure, he owns the Riverbank Café.”
“You hear about what happened between him and Jessica?”
“Oh,” the man shifted his weight on his feet and looked past me toward the river. “I don’t listen to rumors. Paul is a good man, goes to my church.”
I frowned. “Does your church care he tries to fuck his teenage employees?”
“Now wait—”
“Then shows up to help search for them when they mysteriously go missing? And does it with a straight face?”
Marcus looked from me to the crowd, then waved to someone and said, “Listen, it was nice meeting you.”
“You too, Marcus,” I said. “Enjoy your day.”
He faked a smile and disappeared into the crowd.
No one else stopped to talk to me.
When they called the groups together, Liz still hadn’t shown up. I stayed back, working my way toward the food tables. When I got close, Mrs. Colton saw me and said, “No omelets out here, sorry.”
I laughed the best I could. “I suppose that’s just my luck these days. I didn’t know what I’d do when I saw you’d closed.”
She tilted her head and frowned. “We decided to take a couple days vacation.” She motioned toward Paul behind her. He was scraping a half-empty tray into a garbage can. “It seems like we never get a chance to break away.”
“Well,” I said. “I can’t fault you for wanting to.”
We laughed.
I tasted something bitter in the back of my throat.
“So what do you have here?” I waved a hand over the food. “Anything good?”
Mrs. Colton pointed out a few trays of sandwich meat and macaroni salad and fruit. “You missed the rush, but there are still a few things left.”
The last thing I wanted to do was eat their food, but I reached for a plate anyway and worked my way down the line toward Paul.
Mrs. Colton turned away.
“How are you?” I said, spooning macaroni salad onto my plate.
Paul looked up, nodded.
“You taking part in the search or just providing food?”
“Just the food.” He motioned to the crowd, which was dividing itself into thre
e large clusters. “If you’re planning on going with them, you better eat fast.”
I picked a grape off the tray and tossed it in my mouth. “Don’t think I am,” I said. “Not much point to any of this that I can see.” I stared at him. “You and I both know she’s not around here.”
Paul wiped his hands on a towel and said, “How would I know that?”
I shrugged and turned back to the food. “Just assuming. I heard you two were close, thought you might’ve had some insight into where—”
“You thought wrong.”
“—she might’ve gone.” There was a knife on the sandwich tray, and I picked it up. “If you two were close, you’d know she wasn’t anywhere around here.”
Paul reached out and took my plate.
I squeezed the knife.
“Move on, friend,” he said.
I stared at him.
“You hear me? I said, move on.”
I smiled, leaned close, whispered, “I know what you did to her.”
By the time I saw his fist coming, it was too late to do anything but take it. The punch had power behind it, and I felt my legs turn soft under me.
I dropped the knife and staggered back. I didn’t fall, but I don’t know how I stayed standing.
“You fucking piece of shit.” Paul climbed over the table toward me. “You want to say that again?”
I did, badly.
I wanted to say a lot more, but my tongue felt thick behind my teeth. I kept moving backward, trying to find my balance.
By the time he was over the table, several people had moved between us, keeping us apart. Paul spat at me, but it didn’t even come close, which made me smile.
“Don’t smile at me, you crazy piece of shit.”
I couldn’t stop.
The guys holding him back tried to calm him down, but it wasn’t working.
“Yeah, we all know about you,” Paul said. “Keep laughing.”
I did; then I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Greg. He led me away, still smiling.
I walked with him, parting the crowd of people who’d surrounded us. They all stared at me, and right then I realized that no matter what Paul had done, or what any of them had done, I was the monster in town, and there was nothing I could do about it.