“It sounds like a love match. It’s sounds as though they had an idyllic courtship once your grandfather stepped aside.”
“If only it had been. While Da had eyes for Mama, Lady Fraser, who’s Mama’s cousin, also wanted Da. Grandfather latched onto that and tried to navigate his niece into disrupting Mama and Da’s courtship. She spread rumors that Da secretly courted her. Lady Fraser tried to make Mama jealous. She even tried to seduce him, but Da never looked in her direction. The rumors never took hold because it was obvious to anyone with eyes that Da devoted himself to Mama. Mama’s cousin already interested Laird Fraser and is now his wife. He swooped in and drew her into a courtship while arranging a marriage through her father. Lady Fraser never forgave Mama for what she claimed was stealing Da from her, and she never forgave Da for spurning her. She’s held that grudge to this day. The Sinclairs are our neighbors and our friends; after all, my aunt married into the clan. Lady Fraser assumed she got her revenge when she separated her daughter, Deirdre, from my cousin Magnus. She and Laird Fraser hid Deirdre here at court, intercepting every missive for seven years until Magnus discovered her here when Uncle Liam sent him to resolve some conflicts with other clans. While there isn’t a rift between us and the Rosses, we aren’t warm to one another. Laurel is a cousin, but she has never been a friend.”
“That’s incredible. Are your parents still happy together?”
“Aye. They say they love each other more than they did when they wed. Their bond is unbreakable. They show affection regardless of whether they are alone or around the clan. They’re devoted to one another.”
Kieran considered that for a long time. While he hoped for a love match and a happy marriage with Maude, the realization that it might be possible remained foreign to him. His parents’ marriage couldn’t have been more different.
“I’d like the same for us, buttercup. But if it takes more than a moon for you to be sure you want to wed me, I won’t rush you.”
“But you can’t remain here indefinitely. You have your own clan to lead and responsibilities at home.”
“You’re right, that I do. I will have to return within the next few sennights, but we can send missives back and forth. It’s not ideal, but we communicate well enough that way.”
“Your poor messengers will grow weary of shuttling back and forth between Stornoway and Stirling.”
“It’s a good thing I have several able riders to take turns.”
Maude inched closer to Kieran, and he slid his hand down to hold hers among the folds of her skirt. The group returned to the castle before he had the chance share a story about his own family. He would have to save it for the next morning, since he expected little privacy that afternoon in the queen’s solar.
Chapter Fourteen
Maude shared the midday meal with the other ladies, who were unafraid to pepper her with questions about her relationship with Kieran. When she kept her answers succinct and evasive, they turned to Arabella and Blair for details. She’d told everything to Blair and nearly everything to Arabella, but they remained loyal to her. They ate more at that meal than they had in a moon. They kept their mouths full, so no one could expect them to respond.
After the meal, she decided on another walk, but this time with her father and Blair. It was one of the few times they had to catch up in private. She and Blair learned of the bairns who’d joined their clan, a few elders who’d passed away, and that Mama grew lonely without them but had accepted they would both leave home, whether it was in service to the queen or to marry. Hamish readily admitted that he despised being away from his wife, but he was too happy to be with Maude and Blair to let it overcome him. He told them he sent missives to their mother every three days. They each wrote most of their response before the messenger arrived, then added to it if they had anything to say about the contents in the one just received. They’d done it for years, and their system kept them both content and assured of one another’s well-being.
Neither Blair nor Hamish broached the topic of Kieran, sensing Maude needed a reprieve from the constant examination of her relationship with him. They appreciated the changes they saw in Maude since meeting Kieran. She appeared more confident and self-assured. She wore her hair down with intricate braids and ribbons woven through them. And she smiled more. Seeing Maude come out of her shell was priceless to her father and sister.
Kieran returned to his chamber after the nooning to respond to correspondence that included reviewing an expense report. He rubbed his eyes and leaned back in his chair as he read the list for at least the fifth time. It astonished him how much his mother and other sister, Abigail, had spent on gowns. They’d ordered bolts of costly material along with the frippery they would argue were necessities. They’d done this before. When he travelled, they ventured on spending sprees. Part of why he rarely left home for extended periods of time was because he didn’t trust them not to make paupers of them.
Kieran rubbed his temples, dreading the idea that he may need to return to Lewis sooner than he wanted. He’d been correct that he and Maude might exchange their own correspondence, but it wouldn’t be the same as getting to know one another in person. He wondered if he might convince Hamish to come for a visit with Maude. Kieran had grown eager for his mother and sister to meet her. They were more materialistic than Maude, but he was certain Maude would win over every member of his clan with ease. It was impossible for him to fathom anything to dislike. He responded to his steward’s distressed message with reassurance that he wouldn’t allow them to spend another coin. He wrote explicitly in the missive that he gave his seneschal permission and discretion to deny the two women any unreasonable request. Kieran wrote a similar letter to his mother and sister, admonishing them for their lack of restraint. He warned them of the consequences to their clan if they continued to spend as they had. He prayed they would heed him and not force him to return before he was ready.
As the afternoon progressed, Kieran found the king in the Privy Council chamber and walked with him to the queen’s solar. The king inquired about the progress Kieran made in his relationship with the Sunderland’s daughter, and threatened him with an extended holiday in the Stirling dungeon if he did anything to break Maude’s heart or spirit. While the sovereign glared at Kieran the entire walk to the royal suites, he became all smiles once he entered. The young women giggled and whispered as Kieran entered. Many batted their eyelashes at him and smiled, some coyly and others provocatively. The others darted glances between him and Maude before giggling and whispering. The former were unappealing in their brashness, while the latter were girlish and annoying. Kieran’s eyes swept the chamber until he spotted Maude in a window seat reading. She looked up when she noticed the disruption. When Kieran was a few feet away, she stood. He met her with a bow, and she offered a curtsy. She pulled her skirts close and sat pressed against the wall to offer Kieran as much space as possible. He was too large for the embrasure, so crowding a second person onto the seat made it awkward. He angled his body, so Maude’s shoulder rested against his, and he stretched one arm behind her to brace himself. Kieran kept his hand close enough to graze her backside when he moved his thumb, which he did repeatedly. When he asked what she read, he used the guise of pointing to something on the page to cover her hand with his. His thumb swept over the back of hers before twisting to caress the inside of her wrist. Maude found it difficult to concentrate as she attempted to explain the book. Kieran’s breath tickled her ear, and she smelled the fresh mint on his breath. She’d chewed a spring on her return from her second walk. They passed the afternoon in quiet conversation about the books Maude had read and Kieran’s favorite subjects when he was younger and had a tutor. The time came to change for the evening meal before either was prepared to end their quiet chat.
* * *
They spent the days that followed in the routine they established during that first day together. They broke their fast together, then Kieran joined Maude on her walk, but some days he left halfway
through to go to the lists. On the days he returned in time for the nooning, he sat with her, but other days he took a light meal on the field. He was able to join her in the solar only when the king visited. When it wasn’t possible, he tended to clan business that seemed never ending and often returned to the lists for an afternoon session. He would wait for the evening meal to conclude, which the queen expected Maude to share with the ladies-in-waiting rather than her father or Kieran. Then he pulled Maude into his arms to dance together to the first song. He reserved the slower, more intimate dances. He made his intent clear to any man who became overly friendly, and eventually the men gave up their pursuit, which relieved Maude. The men made her uneasy because none had a sincere interest in her beyond wanting to see her bosom and hoping she’d show them more. Kieran and Maude allowed themselves rare moments alone, and while they both grew frustrated and needy, they agreed that focusing on getting to know one another remained more important than deciding based on physical attraction. It didn’t take either of them long to realize they were falling in love, but neither dared say it aloud.
When a fortnight passed, Kieran accepted that it was impossible to ignore the need to return home. He wouldn’t be an absentee laird. He spoke to Maude and explained the situation. While he saw the news saddened her, she understood his duties and even made suggestions about concerns he shared with her. The weather had turned foul in Stirling, and he worried the Highlands had forgotten it was supposed to be the beginning of spring, not the beginning of winter. He admitted to Maude that he considered asking her father if they might accompany him, but he was unwilling to have her travel such a distance in the poor weather because he wouldn’t risk her health or her safety. It was a gut-wrenching goodbye for them both.
Chapter Fifteen
Kieran spurred his horse as he saw the gates of Stornoway come into view as he descended the last hill. The sense of relief and peace that usually greeted him as he approached his home was absent that day. He’d left it in Stirling along with Maude. The journey took a full week, which was three more days than it should have. Weather slowed him and his guards, then two horses threw shoes along the way, and his own horse went lame, causing them to make camp early and leave late the next morning. He wanted nothing more than a hot bath, a good meal, and Maude. He would take two out of the three, but he gritted his teeth as he accepted that seeing his mother and sister first were unavoidable.
The contingent of riders clattered into the bailey as the bells rang, announcing the return of their laird. Kieran couldn’t help but smile at the warm welcome he always received as he rode through the village that sat beyond the bailey wall. His people respected him and proved loyal, so he never took his position of authority for granted. He understood his responsibility for the well-being of each man, woman, and child in his clan. That included the farther-reaching villages comprising MacLeods of Lewis. It had been a hefty burden to shoulder at seven-and-ten, but with ten years of experience, he felt like he was on the path to be a good leader like his father had been. Inevitably, pain settled in his chest whenever he thought of his father. They’d been close, much like Maude and Hamish, but a weak heart struck him down when he was in his early forties. Kieran struggled with debilitating guilt for years because his father collapsed in the lists while sparring with Kieran. He feared he’d caused his father’s heart failure despite the reassurances from everyone that his father’s death had been unpredictable; he’d been the model of health and strength.
Kieran lingered in the bailey, greeting clan members who came to welcome him. Then he avoided the keep by insisting upon tending to Peat himself, using the animal’s recent lameness as an excuse. When he’d had sufficient time to prepare himself and gird his loins, he entered the Great Hall. As he suspected, his mother and sister sat before the fire with their sewing in their laps. From what he saw, they both were working on new kirtles, the expensive fabric shimmering in the light from the flames. He had a moment of temptation to toss it all in the fire, but that would be a waste of costly material that had already cost his clan too much.
“Kieran!” Abigail called, the first of the two women to notice him. She tossed her sewing to the ground and ran to him. His jaw clenched again at his sister’s easy disregard for what was a luxury to everyone else in the clan. His mother was more careful and placed her own sewing on her chair but stepped over her daughter’s, showing little concern but a great deal of entitlement. He supposed neither knew any better. His mother was the oldest daughter of a laird and wife to one of the most powerful in the Hebrides, and his sister was the youngest child. His father had spoiled his mother, not out of affection but to buy himself peace. Abigail and Madeline were cut from the same cloth. The analogy wasn’t lost on him as he approached. He opened his arms as his sister launched herself at him. For all her faults, she was always happy to see Kieran return, though the older she grew, the more he believed the happiness came from anticipation for what more she might order or receive.
His mother moved more gracefully across the floor. As he embraced them both, he looked over their heads at the Great Hall. It disappointed him to see the state in which the keep looked. Their housekeeper, Agatha, was aging and unable to keep up as she had his entire childhood. He’d offered to pension her off, but she whittled that the keep would fall down around their ears if he did. Neither his mother nor his sisters took great interest in the duties of chatelaine. All three had been trained, but his mother preferred to spend her time venturing into the local market, creating her new clothing, or reading poetry. Her pastimes had prepared Madeline well for becoming a lady-in-waiting. Kieran would have to see about finding Agatha’s replacement before he brought Maude home. The rushes needed changing, the fireplace needed cleaning, the tapestries needed beating, and the wall sconces needed wax scraping from them. And that was what he observed from a brief scan of the Great Hall. He could only imagine what he’d find when he inspected further. He hadn’t noticed such details before this return home because he’d trusted that between Agatha and his mother, the keep was being maintained in proper order. Now he had to swallow his disappointment and make plans for improvements before introducing Maude to his home. He didn’t want her to regret coming or resent the amount of work she would have waiting when she stepped in as chatelaine.
“Mother, Abigail, I’m glad to be home.”
“As we are glad to have you here, son.” His mother’s welcomes were never effusive, but he believed they were sincere.
“You’ve been away so much,” Abigail pouted. “I began to think you forgot where your home was.” Kieran wrapped his arm around his younger sister’s shoulders as they walked toward the fire. He warmed his hands and backside, appreciating the roaring fire after so many nights with a meager campfire.
“I agree with the lass. It’s been a long stretch since ye were home for more than a meal and a sleep. We’re happy to have ye return, laddie.” Kieran’s smile was genuine for the first time since he arrived. Agatha hobbled toward him, relying on her walking stick. She’d been the housekeeper before her parents married and had practically raised him. She was like a kindly grandmother who wasn’t afraid to give him a good thrashing when he needed it as a child. Kieran embraced Agatha and noticed how frail she’d become. When Kieran bent to embrace her, she whispered, “We need to speak and soon, Kier.”
As Kieran straightened, he feared what Agatha would tell him. Her loyalty was to the entire family, but her priority was service to the laird. She gave him honest reports when he was home and through the steward’s missives since she was the seneschal’s mother. Agatha’s astute eyes swept across the Great Hall before an eyebrow twitched. He knew she shared his disillusionment with the keep’s condition.
“How long are you home for this time?” his mother asked. Kieran looked at Lady Adeline MacLeod closely for the first time. He took in the beautifully sculpted high brow, the patrician nose, the same gray eyes he possessed, and the mouth that carried small lines around it from being pursed in
constant disdain for those around her. She had aged more rapidly over the last few years, and lines now bracketed her mouth. Most would think they were laugh lines, but Kieran realized they were from frowning. His mother was a difficult woman to please when she presumed something, or someone, didn’t meet her standards. He’d hoped to avoid the question until at least after he’d eaten.
“That depends, Mother.” Kieran deflected.
“On what?” Abigail latched onto her mother’s question with an eagerness that made Kieran wonder what she wanted to be sure to ask for before he departed once more.
“The weather and the state of things here.”
“Where will you be off to now? It seems as though you’re rarely home these days.”
“That’s an exaggeration, Mother. Before going to court, I hadn’t been away even for a night for several months.”
“But now you are,” his mother quipped.
“I have been at court longer than usual.” Kieran decided to just have it out with his mother, hoping that having the ensuing argument on his first evening home would enable him to leave sooner. He already found being home was the last place he wanted to be. It was a new and painful sensation. “I’ve met a woman who I’m now courting.”
“Pardon?” His mother snapped. “I believe I misheard. You traveled to court to resolve tax payments, then a raid, not to find a wife. I’ve been arranging that.”
A Wallflower at the Highland Court: A Slow Burn Highlander Romance Page 14