by Bradley,CD
The nurse finished and moved to her rolling computer to enter the information. Holt sat back down in the chair beside her bed. “Kira we aren’t judging you. We understand this has been a lot of adjustment. I know you have some personal stuff going on. Let’s just put that behind you now.” He reached up to put his hand on her shoulder. This time Kira didn’t back away. As his fingers touched her, the sleeve of his shirt slid back revealing deep scratches on his forearm.
“What the hell happened to your arm?” Kira screeched and slipped out of his grasp.
Holt quickly pulled the sleeve back down and withdrew from Kira. He looked back and forth from Kira to Paige. His eyes were wide, almost wild for a moment.
“What’s going on with your arm?” Paige asked with a little chuckle, “You get into a fight? Or just a rough night at the club? You know Lysander’s got rules about that sort of thing.”
“How did you get those scratches Liam?” Kira’s heart and head pounded in a fevered rhythm.
Holt’s cheeks were pink with embarrassment, “I haven’t been back to that club since you dragged me there Paige. Kira, I didn’t want you to feel badly about it but your cat nearly killed me when I tried to wrestle it back into your apartment. The last thing I wanted was for you to wake up after all this and find your cat missing.” His bright blue eyes were shining. Kira could see the nurse swooning at his every word as she clumsily typed in Kira’s information. Kira rolled her eyes and then looked straight at Holt.
“I don’t have a cat.” She said deadpan.
“It’s an orange and black tabby. Little, kinda scrappy like you. You were unconscious and they were loading you into the ambulance and I saw your cat by the door. So I caught him and put him inside,” Holt’s eyes were wide and hopeful.
“That’s not my cat. I don’t have a cat Liam!” Kira shook her head.
Paige busted out in laughter. “So you’re saying a wild pussy got ya. Hmm happens to the best of them.” The nurse giggled behind her monitor and dropped her stylus.
Holt’s entire body tensed for a moment then relaxed. “Oh shit. That explains a lot. Well I probably owe someone an apology and I better get over to your house before there is a big mess to clean up. Shit Kira I’m sorry. I’ll bet that damn thing is tearing everything up!” Holt jumped up to leave. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Just try to get some rest, ok.” He grabbed her keys off the bedside table and turned taking just a moment he brushed a section of hair off her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. Kira looked up at him unsure what to think. One minute he was an arrogant ass. The next he was like a dear friend. Still there was something she couldn’t put her finger on. She couldn’t help be suspicious. He turned to leave and the perky nurse followed him out into the hall. She could see them talking through the glass. Holt kept starting to leave like he was in a hurry to go and the nurse followed asking questions and staring at him with doe eyes.
“So spill it.” Paige’s voice brought Kira back into the room. “What happened last night and why did you freak out about Holt’s arms.” Paige sat in the seat beside Kira and lowered her voice. “I thought you and Stark were meeting to talk. I’m guessing that didn’t go so well?”
“He never showed up. He asked me to meet him at the Garden of the Gods. I went there drank a glass of wine and he never came so I left. I guess he had second thoughts. It’s over.” Kira stared hard at the tile floor and tried not to cry. It was the first time she actually said it out loud. It’s over. Her heart broke all over again.
“Did he call you or anything to say he wasn’t coming? Did he text? Come on. That is not like Owen. He wouldn’t leave you sitting there. Maybe he got called out. Look I can understand if that life is not for you. Most women can’t handle not knowing if your man will walk through the door from one day to the next. So then what you went home and went on a bender? Open the wine and start watching Lifetime or some shit? Two bottles later and a tub of rocky road and you’re all I’m gonna take a shower. I’m not buying it.”
“Paige,” Kira started but stopped. How much could she tell her? How much did she really trust this woman? “I didn’t drink after I went home. I swear to you. I was really upset but I didn’t have anything else to drink. I don’t know why I didn’t even think about him being deployed. Maybe this life isn’t for me. I got straight in the shower. I was crying and remembering…” Kira stopped and took a tissue to blow her nose.
“ And…” Paige interrupted the silence.
“I thought I heard something in the living room. Who knows maybe that stupid cat followed me in. I’ve never seen a cat there before though. I listened for what seemed like forever but nothing. I turned back into the shower and then I guess I hit my head and fell. I don’t know how to explain the alcohol in my blood stream or the wine bottles. I have some there but not any open ones. I swear to you I didn’t drink anything else.” Kira rubbed the back of her head. A large gauze pad was secured with kerlex wrap. Kira felt the dressing for the first time. Oh shit. That’s just great I bet I look amazing. I’m sure little nurse hot pants is eating this up. Kira didn’t even know why she cared what hot pants thought of her. She wasn’t into Holt. Still after months of him hanging around… No, she didn’t care.
“What do you mean you must have fallen? Do you remember falling? Did your drink at the Garden Club taste weird? Somethings not right with this story Vanilla, what aren’t you telling me?” Paige was leaning in with one eyebrow arched high like an inspector.
“My drink was fine. I had a chardonnay. I felt fine driving home other than being upset, I was not suicidal. I did not drink after I came home. I don’t remember falling at first just sudden pain in my head then falling. Maybe I hit it on the shower without realizing what happened. Then …” Kira stopped again. She was so afraid Paige would think she was crazy. The incident in college kept flashing back to her mind. No one believed her. Hell when he found out about it even Owen didn’t believe her. Kira wrung her hands together. She looked at her wrists. Faint bruising was present. She thought back to how hard she fought. The bruising should be dark. The skin should be abraded and broken. Did she really just dream it?
“Kira I know you probably better than anyone in Colorado. You’ve told me things you haven’t even shared with Owen so spill it what’s going on with you.” Paige had gone full on inquisition.
“He knows about everything that happened in college.” Kira’s voice trembled. She closed her eyes for a moment remembering her fight with Stark in California. That bitch Simone just stood watching them from the landing. Like a cat toying with a mouse she was always in the background. She would have a ball with this.
“So you talked to him?” Paige raised her eyebrows in surprise.
“Not exactly.” Kira’s voice was flat. She felt the rage building
“I swear to you. I didn’t tell him anything about what you told me.” Kira could tell Paige was being sincere.
“I know it wasn’t you Paige. He and Simone investigated me to make sure I wasn’t a threat to their precious company. He accused me of lying about being raped and was pissed that I didn’t tell him. That’s what makes this so much harder. I know I’m not crazy. Damn It! I’m not fucking crazy!” Kira was yelling and didn’t care.
“Are you shitting me?” Paige asked quietly. “Kira calm down or at least be quiet you don’t want that little candy striper back in here. Stark is my dearest friend but If I heard him say that I would fucking throat punch him. I bet that gold digging bitch was behind it. What do you mean that makes this harder? Kira talk to me.”
Kira’s heart was racing. The room felt small. “I…I may have dreamed it. I am not crazy Paige. But after the sharp pain in my head, I felt myself falling and then more pain.”
“Well you probably hit your head again on the ground too, that’s not crazy.” Paige offered.
“Then, it was like…Like I was being raped all over again. The pain. That hideous laugh just like when I was in college.” Kira choked back a sob. “I cou
ld smell him. He was all over me. I fought and scratched and kicked. I could feel myself being torn. Paige it was horrible then he put his hands around my throat and strangled me. I thought I was dying. The next thing I know I woke up here. With Holt.” Kira stressed the last two words.
“Oh shit.” Paige spoke lowly. “Do you think Holt? But that laugh was like the guy in college. Holt wouldn’t, would he? Shit Kira. What are you gonna do?”
“What can I do? If I say anything I’m a crazy depressed girl. Fuck it’s the same damn nightmare all over again. God I am not crazy. Do you think I’m crazy?” Kira pleaded. Why the hell is this happening? Kira felt the bile rise up in her throat and barely grabbed the bed pan in time. She vomited. The vile liquid burned her nose as it made a hasty exit.
“There has to be evidence Kira. Did they do a rape kit on you? What about your apartment? Maybe the police will find finger prints or something. There has to be some evidence.” Paige squeezed her hand. “If someone was there. There has to be evidence.”
“How do I go about asking for a rape kit without sounding irrational?” Kira was not about to relive the horror of not being believed. She knew as a female officer she would be labeled a pariah if she made those kind of accusations, especially if they didn’t find anything.
“Ok what about your apartment? I have some police friends who frequent the club. They aren’t related to the military in any way. They could check it out under the radar. Then if we find evidence we get the military involved. Deal?” Paige asked in a tone that said she was stepping in regardless of what Kira said.
Kira had to admit she was thankful to have an ally. “Ok deal. Do you think I just dreamed it?”
“That still doesn’t explain the blood alcohol level. If someone hurt you, they had to get it in your system somehow.” Paige stopped abruptly as the nurse came in with a pan of warm water and hospital issue soap.
“What’s that for?” Kira asked hesitantly.
“Dr. Holt has ordered a bath for you. He had us do one earlier but it’s ordered again.” The nurse said.
“What?’ Kira nearly spat. “He ordered what?”
“Well you were covered in blood and vomit when you were first brought in and you were unconscious. He said he didn’t want you to wake up like that. He is so sweet. Dr. Holt really cares about you.” Her voice took on the fake nice but just a touch condescending you reserve for those you secretly despise. “We washed you and got all that filth off, but well I guess you were still too drunk to wake up.
“I wasn’t drunk. I…” Kira began but Paige cut her off.
“She is awake now so you can take your little pan back to the nurse’s station. I’ll help her take a real shower.” Paige spoke in her dominatrix voice ordering the little weasel out of the room. The nurse’s eyes widened and she backed up a step. Basin still in hand she looked to Kira for direction.
“I am feeling much better now.” Kira hissed. “Paige can help me if I need it. Leave the soap and I’ll get my own shower. Will a doctor be coming in to see me or did Holt assign himself to my care?” Kira was beyond furious.
“He… he said he didn’t want you to get in any trouble. He is your attending.” The nurse stammered and backed further toward the door laying the soap and towels on the table. “I… I’m just following orders ma’am.” Paige stood up and the nurse left the room like a dog with its tail between its legs.
“Son of a Bitch!” Paige spat. “Well any evidence on you is gone. Fuck Kira, I don’t get this. Something is not right here. You let me know when you’re ready and I’ll help you shower.”
“I think I just need to sleep.” Kira was too overwhelmed to get up. She wanted to lay in bed and disappear. She desperately wanted to wake up from this nightmare and feel Stark’s arms around her. She wanted to feel safe and secure. Kira lay back into the pillow and closed her eyes. She wanted to be anywhere but here.
As she drifted off she could see Owen. He was waiting for her hand outstretched. Those beautiful eyes calling to her. Kira reached out for his hand. She wanted more than anything to be safe in those arms. But just as she stepped toward him she felt hands pulling her back. Kira thrashed and tried to fight but the hands closed around her neck.
Chapter 3
Kira awoke with a start. Her heart still raced from the nightmare. Was it all just a nightmare? It felt so real, but here she was safe in the hospital. The room was dark but the first lights of dawn crept through the blinds illuminating Paige’s awkwardly curled up form on the chair/bed in the corner. Kira wondered how long she had been asleep. Paige had stayed. Kira realized she was more of a friend than she gave her credit for. Maybe the kind of friend who you usually get into trouble with, but definitely the one who would help you hide the body. Kira smiled and remembered her best friend from high school, Angie. They had gotten themselves into some rough spots but always managed to come out ok. Kira missed her. It had been years since she had a friend that close. Funny how time and college and well life tends to take people on different paths. She had a choice to make. Keep being a victim and live in fear or take control of her situation. Stark would never let some piece of shit intimidate him. He would stand and, no he would hunt them down and make them regret even considering hurting him or his family. But he hadn’t done that for her. He hadn’t even believed her. Kira reached for her purse from the bedside table. She wanted to hold the dog tags. Let her fingers brush over his name. She should probably give it to Paige to take home for him.
She zipped the purse open quietly so not to wake Paige. Gently she reached inside anticipated the feel of the cold metal. They were gone! She opened the purse all the way and riffled through receipts and the few loose dollar bills. A gloss, her phone, but no tags! Kira flipped on the light and began searching every pocket of the small purse. Nothing.
“What’s going on now?” Paige mumbled without fully opening her eyes.
“My dog tags are gone!” Kira blurted starting to feel panicked.
“So it’s not like you’re being deployed right this second. You probably left them at home. What’s the big deal?” Paige sat up her hair was still in the shape of the pillow and stood up on one side. She slowly blinked mascara smudged eyes.
“They were in my purse. I’m sure of it and there was one of mine and one of Starks. He traded me so we could be close to each other even when we were worlds away.” Kira could feel tears in her eyes. It was over with Stark. It was. She couldn’t help wanting that tag. Where had they gone?
“Are you shitting me? If you dropped those somewhere you might as well wear a neon sign that says Fraternization Here! Fuck Vanilla! Whose asinine idea was that?” Paige’s eyes were wide open now and she began to search around the room. “Maybe they fell out of your purse at home. You were unconscious when you got here so maybe when Holt grabbed your things they fell out.”
After canvasing the room and turning up empty, Kira started looking for clothes. “Did Holt come back from my apartment last night? He has my keys. I need clothes to get out of here.”
“Where are you going to go? Surely not back to your apartment? Holt came by and left a bag with some clothes and your keys. You were sleeping and he said he had to be in clinic early this morning. He’s pretty comfortable with your things.” Paige raised an eyebrow and looked sideways at Kira.
“That’s just creepy. There’s nothing between Holt and me. I’m not sure what to do about him. He seems like a friend one minute but way too close the next. I guess I owe him, but... I just don’t know if I trust him.” Kira took the bag in her hand and started to go through it. Sweats, a gray T-shirt, a hoodie, and her underclothes. He had even packed travel sized soap and toothbrush and toothpaste. Kira wondered why he hadn’t just gotten the ones from her apartment but appreciated it anyway. Maybe he wasn’t that bad. Maybe he was just looking out for her. Kira didn’t know what happened at her apartment. Had she fallen and dreamed it? She had studied PTSD in her early training. Flashbacks can be vivid and seem real. Maybe that’
s what it was. Maybe she fell and it triggered a flash back. Maybe she thrashed around on the floor and bruised herself. Kira couldn’t be sure what happened but it felt so very real. What she did know was that she was not going to be a victim. She was not going to go off and sound all crazy trying to get to the bottom of something she could never prove. She had learned that lesson hard in college. Kira showered and gingerly washed over her battered skin. Silently she winced as the antibacterial soap made contact with abrasions and raw skin. This was no dream. Pain and humiliation gave way to anger. Kira stepped out on the linoleum and looked at herself in the mirror as she got dressed. The woman staring back at her was not the same scared little girl she had been. Kira’s dark eyebrows set in a determined line. She carefully smoothed her wild chestnut hair into a ponytail being sure not to disturb the bandages on her head.
Kira was going to protect herself and her career. She was going to be on guard. Stark was gone. She would not be like her mother and sulk into a corner and feel sorry for herself. She would take control of the situation.
***
“I still can’t believe you signed out AMA!” Paige chuckled impressed. “The look on nurse cupcakes face.” She paused grinning from ear to ear, “Priceless!” Paige pulled the Bel Air to a stop in front of Kira’s apartment.
“Don’t get too excited. As if I wasn’t in enough trouble before, this will probably do me in. The army is going to be less than thrilled to say the least. That little cupcake heard way too much. That place is a hotbed of gossip. I would be willing to bet every nosey ass in green knows I was in there by now, and worse that I left before discharge.” Kira sat glued to the seat. Her legs felt heavy at the thought of going back inside her apartment.