by Alexis Angel
I honestly don’t care what people think.
I sent Sandra a message telling her not to book the flights. She called me a million times after that, so I just turned the phone off. I had no time to explain to her when I couldn’t even figure out what was wrong in the first place.
What was stopping me from leaving?
***
"Hey, you’re in my spot. Get your own spot."
I open my eyes and realize that it’s morning.
I fell asleep on the park bench.
I don’t even know how long I was on the bench. I was slipping in and out of consciousness as I realized that no matter how many times I rethought Plan A, to go and get my things and stay in a hotel and then get a flight to New York, it was something that my body didn’t want to do. It just wanted to stay here, but then I couldn’t take both Daniel and Colt fighting one more time. I didn’t even know if I could handle Daniel by himself. The guy has issues; the way he spoke to me as if I’m some kind of trash really got to me. After all, he was indirectly calling me a whore.
What happened to him?
He was the one that made me feel like a woman and then ran out of the bed as if what we had done was wrong. After Zach, I’d decided that I wouldn’t give my heart away like that again. Not that Zach had my heart after all it turns out; I got over him in a heartbeat, but I’m out to enjoy myself. And God, do I enjoy myself whenever I’m with Colt. I’m not going to feel guilty for it. Especially after the way Daniel behaved, he’s worse than a child.
"Did you hear me?"
A woman with a cart’s prodding me as if I’m a piece of meat. She’s trying to get me to move from her spot. I feel like telling her that I’m not ready to leave, after all I never saw her name on it.
"Go and get your own spot!"
She’s shouting at me to move and people are staring at us. I know that they’ll all start saying the same thing to me. That I’m violating the hobo’s space and I need to go home. Or wherever I belong.
I stand up, not feeling like going anywhere right now. I don’t want to go to the house and face the two men that are driving me insane at the moment. I just can’t take the risk, especially when I didn’t know my own mind.
I search inside my purse and hand her a twenty-dollar bill. That’s all I’ve got in my bag. I try and dig deeper to see if I can get her more.
She laughs at me, "I don’t want your money. If I did then I would have said, I need some money and my bench. But, I didn’t. I just said that I wanted my bench."
Wow, she’s a real feisty one. She’s not messing around, and she’s making me feel the same way that Daniel did in the restaurant: stupid!
She repeats herself, "Can you move from my bench?"
I take a deep breath and move away from her bench. I’m even tempted to ask her to share it as I look around and see the other ones are occupied. There are quite a few joggers taking a break or couples from the previous night on the town.
I shrug as I think about what I really need to do. I have to go back to the house, if anything just to make sure that they hadn’t killed each other. They seemed to be intent on fighting over me. I wish that I could say that I was worth it. But I didn’t think that I was that special until they flirted with me. Not the way that Zach would flirt. It wasn’t an "I want to fuck you" sort of teasing. More of a "you’re so fucking hot and I want you," sort of teasing. Which was what drew me to both of them.
And their good looks, sure, but they’re so different. Daniel has a 8-pack and is well-groomed, but now I’m attracted to him because he’s older and he’s really got the mature factor working for him. Apart from last night when he acted like a child.
As for Colt, he’s going to be a football star for sure. But, behind it all he’s a pussy cat. He has this bad-boy exterior but I’ve seen a different side of him.
"Good luck!" The woman shouts out to me as I slowly start to move away from her. I look from side to side to see if she’s talking to someone else as I drag my feet to the car. Sleeping in these heels was not a good idea. My feet are killing me.
"You were mumbling in your sleep, and besides, your type don’t belong on the street. Whatever it is you’ve decided to face, good luck."
"Thanks," I shout back, thinking that this woman shouldn’t be on the streets and then I realize that she mentioned about me talking in my sleep. I wonder exactly what she heard and I’m about to turn back and ask her, but then I see that she’s fast asleep in the same position I was in before she woke me up. She’s right. I need luck. I also really need to freshen up and tell them the truth.
I send Sandra a message telling her not to book the flights. She calls me after that, and I explain to her that I need to face something here first.
"Go get them, girl," she tells me.
I pause as I think about it. Sandra knew me well enough to know what would keep me from leaving.
Because the truth is I don’t want to be with just my stepbrother, but my stepdad too. I’m crazy about them for completely different reasons; they can’t expect me to choose. Because, I don’t want to.
Not now.
Maybe not ever.
Daniel
The business numbers are all a fucking blur. I'm sitting in my home office and every time I add a line in my Excel sheet, thoughts of Karen come back to me. It can be a smell, a sound, a picture… fucking anything will set my mind reeling. And then there's Colt. I heard him stumble in during the early hours of the morning.
Colt was completely wasted. I don't know what happened last night, but all I know is that dinner was a bust. My idea of a calm family meeting blew up in my face faster than a match held to a gas tank. I'll admit my part in that. I was fucking drunk before they even showed up, and I was volatile. Seeing the way Colt and Karen were looking at each other, the way they exchanged smiles … it just fucking set me off.
After the fight, and getting kicked out of the restaurant, I went home, had a shower, tried to cool down, and I waited for them both. And that's when I heard Colt. He was so wasted I listened to him wrestle his key into the front door a fucking solid five minutes. He kept missing his mark, or not turning it correctly, and I could hear his entire keychain jostling. But just when I was about to go open the door for him, I hear him pop it open. I heard him bracing himself against the wall, sliding along till he got to his room. I'm surprised he made it, to be honest.
Karen still hasn’t shown up. I tried calling her, just to find out if she was safe. She never picked up. I don't know if I should give her space, or be worried. I never know with women.
Now I can't help thinking about how I’m going to apologize to both of them. This whole situation is fucked up. I can’t even think about the business because I feel like shit.
I shouldn’t even be bothering the kids with this whole mess. It’s my issue. Part of me feels guilty about dragging them into this mess. They both had plans this summer. They should be out enjoying it with friends. Bringing them here has fucked everything up. One minute, they're barely talking, and the next, Colt is salivating over her tits in the backyard pool and I see them arm in arm.
I still can’t believe they’re attracted to each other; it makes matters so much worse. Colt was always so full of himself, checking out any girl who breathed air in the same room as him. He seemed to think that it was a challenge he had to complete in under a minute, trying to get with a girl. Any girl. Every girl. Now he seems to be focused on Karen alone. Why her?
As for Karen, she was so hung up on Zach. He was the guy that she was going to marry and that was the end of it. She was so hell bent on that perfect image she had in her head that she refused to listen to any of us when we tried to tell her that Zach was a dog. And now, of all things, she’s into her stepfather and stepbrother.
"Daniel," Colt says coldly as he walks into my office.
"I was just finishing some work," I say as I look up from my computer. For someone who came home fucking wasted just a few hours ago, he looks pretty good aft
er a shower. I suppose that’s the joy of being young. Heavy drinking becomes a bigger kick in the gut the older you get.
I feel as if I’ve aged twenty years lately because I don’t even remember the last time I got drunk to have fun. Most of the time it feels as if I do it to ease the pain. To get rid of my problems, and it never works because the next day the problems are still there with the addition of a hangover.
"Daniel, I don’t want to fight with you. It’s clear that you’ve got the hots for Karen.
And she’s got the hots for you." Memories of the pair of them at dinner flash through my mind. I may as well not have been in the room. She couldn’t get her mind off Colt. She only had eyes for him and I need to accept that.
"Why do you think that she walked out when we started to tumble?" Colt asks.
I shake my head, "I haven’t got a clue. But listen, none of that matters. I shouldn’t have told you guys about the issue with the business and dragged you into my financial mess. It has nothing to do with you guys. Your mom left you the house. Her mom left joint assets, and just because the State of California tells us that she’s abandoned us and the money is ours doesn’t mean that we have to do anything with it now, you know?" I ask.
"I know," Colt says slowly. I can tell he's mulling this over. He continues, "So you must be pretty desperate." The words roll out of his mouth with the empathy of someone who understands. Colt and I have never been the best of friends, but we could always have a conversation. Even after his mother died, I would take him to the park and play ball with him. In a way, those were simpler times.
I saw him as the son that I never had, and here I am treating him like he’s an enemy. Where did it all go wrong?
"Tell me Daniel, what happened to the business?"
I lean over my desk, closer to him. I'm wracking my brain, trying to think about where to start to explain the predicament that I’ve found myself in. I feel silly, stupid in fact, trying to explain it to him. But I take a deep breath and decide to start from the beginning.
"When I lost your mom I kind of lost my way. I spent so much time on the business and you. Just keeping myself busy. And then you know Gary suggested that I go to the party."
He nods, "I know the drill. You met Clara and you fell in love. Funny, I don’t even remember the last time I saw Gary after that … and you guys were close."
"I kind of lost all my friends the moment Clara came into my life. I spent all of my time trying to make her happy and it was all in vain."
I had to tell him the truth. The real reason that things went pear-shaped after I married Clara. "I told you certain things to gently get you used to the idea that you would have a stepmom in the house. I knew that it was going to be difficult for you. I didn't want you to feel like I was replacing your mother."
"I was fifteen; you didn’t have to sugarcoat it for me. Mom had been dead five years; I knew that eventually you would move on," Colt shrugs his shoulders as if it's not big deal, but deep down, I know that transition wasn't that easy for him.
I shake my head and continue, "It wasn’t as simple as that. Clara was interested in investments. At the time I even thought that she loved me. When it was clear that this was just a financial arrangement between us, I invested. I grew the business and she did whatever she felt like."
Colt shakes his head. He looks stunned. "Wait a minute, take a step back; do you mean that she had other men?"
Telling the truth is a tricky thing. Sometimes it feels like you're swallowing a cactus and you're fucking sitting there, watching it settle in your gut and trying to talk at the same time. Right now is no exception. I feel ashamed to admit it, but I also feel like Colt deserves to hear the truth "She did."
"So, why marry then? She didn’t need to marry you for anything."
I laugh, "Thanks Colt."
He shakes his head. "I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant, if she wanted to be with other men and you knew this then why did you both get married?"
"Whenever you step into McDonald’s do you expect the burger in the picture to be the same as the one that you order? The one that they actually give to you?"
"Fuck no!"
"Well, that’s what marriage is like. There is this billboard—"
"—Like McDonald’s?"
I laugh at the idea that of all the analogies I could've used, I choose the one place that I love to hate. "Yes, like McDonald’s. You start thinking that it’ll be like that. Perfect. And even when you realize that it isn’t, you still stick it out. No matter how many times the burgers are different from the picture, you still go back and you still order from there. There's still something that tastes good about it too, during the act of eating it … and it's only later that you wonder what the fuck you've done."
"Alright, enough of the McDonald’s comparisons. I get it; I understand where you’re coming from. I suppose that’s the reason that I’m thinking that I’ll never get married. One thing's for sure, Daniel. You’ve shown me that marriage is a fool’s game and I refuse to play it."
I hate to actually agree with him, but he has a point. "I just never expected it to end so soon."
"One year!" Colt exclaims.
At this point, both of us are lost in our uneasy thoughts. I’m too busy thinking about what to do next. He seems to be willing to hand everything over because he thinks that Karen wants to be with me.
"Colt, you’ve got a bright future in front of you. And I think Karen wants to be with you. I just don’t want to fight anymore. You’ve got my blessing and I want you guys to be happy. You two are good for each other."
Colt’s just about to say something when Karen walks in. I didn't even hear her approach.
Immediately she says, "You guys have got this all wrong. I don’t want one of you."
I see Colt’s eyes go dark. And disappointment clouds my soul.
But Karen continues. "I want both of you."
We both stand up and look at each other. She looks tired, as if she's spent the night on the street. I’m glad that she’s okay, but then I realize that I’m confused about her statement. It’s clear that I’m not the only one because Colt repeats, "Both of us?"
She drops her jacket on the table and says, "Yes."
Colt and I sit back down, but Karen doesn’t. She parts her wet lips in a smile and leaves the office just as fast as she entered it only seconds ago.
Karen
Daniel and Colt, both arguing about who gets to stay with me? Who do they think I am? I’m not something they can sell and buy, and I sure as hell won’t allow them to decide what happens to me… or with my body.
Besides, I’m the one holding all the cards right now. They both want me, and I want them both; if there’s a choice to be made, I’m the one responsible for it. And, like I told them, my choice is a simple one: I want them both. And there’s something else too - but I can’t quite put my finger on it. There’s a certain tension between them, and it has nothing to do with me.
I leave them by themselves in the office, turning my back on them running up the stairs. I go straight for my bedroom, my heart thumping so fast I suddenly feel dizzy. I leave the door open and, turning on my heels, I remain still as I face the doorway. I told them what I wanted, now it’s in their hands: they can either come, or not.
The ball is in their court.
I stand there for what seems like an eternity, a sudden silence filling the whole house. The pounding of my heart growing louder and louder, drowning all of my thoughts, and it only subsides when I start hearing footsteps coming up the stairs.
Daniel? Colt? I have no idea who’s coming up the stairs, and the anticipation is killing me. But then I see two shadows in the corridor and, a heartbeat later, both of them are standing shoulder-to-shoulder, right before the doorway.
"You can’t have us both…" Colt starts, but I’m not even listening to his words. No, the moment I see them both I lose all control. Without a single word, I reach for his shirt and pull him inside the room. He t
akes two steps inside, and that’s enough for me to press my lips against his mouth and to slide one hand down his chest.
I wrap my fingers around Colt's cock, his thickness pulsing against my smooth skin. I grin at him, his lips slightly parted as I start moving my hand back and forth with slow and teasing movements. Looking over my shoulder at Daniel, I can almost feel all the pent-up desire hiding behind his eyes. His pants are tented, his cock pushing hard against the fabric as he takes in the sight of my hand on his stepson’s cock.
"Come here… Or are you just going to stand there and look?" I ask him, the words drawling out of my mouth in a half-purr, each syllable like a jab designed with the intent of spurring him into action. He swallows in his hesitancy, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he steels his face, his lips an almost inscrutable line. For half a second, I think he's going to turn on his feet and bolt out of the door. But I'm just being silly, really: these two can't get enough of me ... even if they have to share.
Daniel licks his dry lips, his body leaning forward as he takes one step toward Colt and I. I reach for him with my hand, my fingers grabbing at his belt and pulling him close. I push on the hem of his pants and, before he can react, I slide my fingers under his trousers and boxers briefs, feeling the aching warmness of his cock. I open the palm of my hand and, straining against the hold of his pants, grab his member harshly.
I turn my attention back to Colt, my heart starting to race faster, each beat of it sending a hefty dosage of desire toward my loins. My insides are burning up, the sweet spot between my thighs becoming more and more moist by the second.
This couldn’t happen any other way; the moment I saw them fighting over me, I knew I had to have them both. I wanted it to happen, but if I’m being completely honest, I didn’t actually believe it could become a reality... But, now, both their cocks in my hands at the same time, their hearts beating in unison at the thought of sharing me... Well, I won't lie: this feels very, very good. A dream come true.