by Rula Sinara
Stop. Think. Understand who you’re dealing with. Get in their head. Just like you do with dog training. Understand their perspective.
Okay. She could at least figure out what Carlos had found out about her online. She knew in general, but she couldn’t recall the details of old posts she’d put up or comments she might have made. She hadn’t even checked her profile bio in a long time. Was there anything in there about her not having kids? Could she have posted about doing some activity on a time frame that would have clashed with her supposedly being pregnant and giving birth at the same time? Or being single? She needed to stalk herself online.
She threw the afghan off when the search screen finally loaded. Okay, so she had to be careful. She wouldn’t log in anywhere. IP addresses could be tracked. She knew that. But Carlos had mentioned her website and social media. She’d be able to at least see public comments. She could also check news sites for missing person’s reports. There had been nothing on television this morning—she had been checking the news at least three times a day since arriving in Turtleback—but sometimes the internet was ahead of the local news.
Was there a photo with her sister online? Clara and Jim, in fact, both had a policy of not posting pics of their child for safety reasons. It made sense, so Faye had respected that on her pages and website. Never even mentioned Mia by name. But Clara was a different matter. Faye couldn’t recall if they were pictured together or not. Was he testing her? Waiting to see if she’d confirm what he’d seen? All it would take was a police background check to know she had an identical twin. But he said he hadn’t done that. Yet.
She searched her name, Mia’s, Clara’s and missing persons sites. She didn’t find any reports or alerts that fit her description. Really, Jim? What are you up to? She went to check comments on her social media pages and scrolled through. Several were asking what happened to her and if she’d be reopening soon because their pooch either needed a behavior lesson or haircut. A few gave get-well wishes, apparently assuming she was out because she’d gotten sick. Ooh...one angry one. She’d forgotten to cancel his appointment and he had waited in his car for thirty minutes with a bull mastiff who could fit only with his head sticking out the sunroof...and it started raining. She covered her mouth. Deep breath. Things like that happened. One had to admit that there was humor in the incident. Maybe her client would come to appreciate it in retrospect. It certainly made for a good story. Besides, she had worse things to worry about right now and there wasn’t an iota of humor in any of it. Not even the dark kind.
She scrolled back up to the most recent comments and stopped. Her pulse hit rapid fire and pounded at the base of her throat. It was posted by him. Early this morning. The sound of his voice in her head as she read his words made her feel like sand fleas were crawling up her back. He must have realized that she was smart enough not to log in for fear of being tracked by one of his minions or a private investigator. Or the authorities, if he switched gears and reported his daughter as kidnapped. How could he be so sure she’d see this? Wouldn’t his leaving a comment work against him if he ever tried to turn her in? Maybe not. He could always say he was trying to fish her out. Dangle a lure. Trap her.
She read the post a second time to be sure she caught everything between the lines.
We really appreciated the time you took care of our puppy so that my wife and I could get away for a few weeks. Unfortunately, she’s not feeling very well and we need your help again. Her inability to care for our pup is stressing her, and eliminating stress is critical to her recovery. Looking forward to your return.
It was code, obviously. He knew she’d understand the threat to return. The pup he was referring to was his daughter. He was trying to scare Faye. She couldn’t give in. She wouldn’t play his game or come when called. The most important thing was that Clara wasn’t feeling well. That meant she was alive. A sob escaped and Faye covered her mouth. She had sensed that her sister was alive. She didn’t think Jim would be stupid enough to risk murder. He had been careful to inflict pain with his hands and words only in private, up until the black eye. That’s what had worried her. What if he lost complete control? Not just his temper, but the kind of control that fed his manipulative tendencies and allowed him to walk that line between being a respected family man and respected professional in public and a wife abuser in private.
But knowing that Clara was alive for sure... Another sob escaped and she let the tension and stress that had built up since her disappearance release until there was nothing left in her.
How can I find you while I’m in hiding? How? He’s baiting us both.
She was damned if she did and damned if she didn’t. Stay hidden and she’d keep his daughter safely away from him. Go after him and his little girl would end up in his custody because he always won. That little girl in the hands of a man who might someday unleash his temper on her. She felt like a mother faced with being able to save only one of her children from drowning. An impossible, heart-wrenching choice.
I don’t know what to do. Clara, I can’t stand the thought of him hurting you, but I don’t know how to find you. Help me. Give me a sign. A signal.
Faye stilled. Maybe she had. Was it possible? Clara had somehow managed to leave her a message once—the plea to take Nim away. What if she had tried calling Faye’s cell? The one she had left behind so that she wouldn’t be traced? What if Clara had managed to secretly access the internet and post a message online, as Jim had done?
Faye started to pull up her sister’s account, but realized she wouldn’t be able to check it without logging in herself for access. Faye had a public site because of her work. Clara didn’t.
She slumped back in her chair. She’d never felt so lost in her life. So helpless. She was letting Clara down. Her sister, who was probably holding out hope that someone would find her. Unless... What if Jim didn’t have her? What if he was bluffing? What if Clara had escaped and was in hiding on her own, but had no way of knowing where Faye and Nim were? If so, she would know that Jim would be looking for her and she’d never risk leading him to their daughter. If that were the case, Jim would be the one who was nervous. The one with more to lose if his wife managed to find a support system. People who didn’t owe him anything.
Too many what-ifs. Zero facts.
She carried the laptop inside, nixed the tea in favor of ice-cold water and went to wash her face. Cold water, again. The cold would help her puffy eyes. She was supposed to resume dog walking in a couple of hours. Folks would probably attribute red eyes and nose to having had a cold—because no doubt by now every soul in Turtleback knew that she had been sick—but if Eve or Carlos saw her, they’d realize she was upset. She didn’t need them freaking out and asking more questions.
* * *
CARLOS’S STRIDE GOT a little longer and lighter when he spotted Faye with Nim in her chest carrier and a pack of dogs at her side. She was headed back up from the beach, her sunglasses and hat on, but only a light jacket this time. The sun was feeling warmer today, teasing of spring around the corner. March would be here any day now, and he had promised Gray he’d do the Running of the Leprechauns event, though he hadn’t been training like his friend. The one thing he wouldn’t be able to back out of was the Turtleback Saint Patrick’s Day Parade, since he was in it. Kids liked parades. He couldn’t help but wonder—hope—that Faye and Nim would still be around to watch it.
He caught up to her, waving so she’d notice him and not be alarmed or taken by surprise.
“Hi,” she said. The entire pack sat down the second she stopped walking. They looked up at her and waited patiently for her to give the green light. That woman was a dog whisperer.
“Hey. I can walk along with you so I don’t hold up the pack,” he said.
She resumed the walk and he fell in step, along with the dogs.
“You wouldn’t want to do that. Hold up the pack.”
“Wouldn�
�t dare.”
He tucked his hands in his pockets and judged her mood. Serious, despite the way she was trying to press her lips into a flat smile.
Give her a moment of peace.
“So, I was thinking,” he said. “Chanda loves kids. Kids love puppies. Puppies bring people together and make them happy. And happy people...are a good thing.” He gave himself a mental shake. What was he going to say? That happy people fell in love? Or that—as the popular saying went—happy people didn’t kill their husbands?
Faye tilted her sunglasses down on her nose and gave him a look.
“You’re talking about Shamu, aren’t you? Jordan and Eve?” she asked, saving his blunder.
“I am. And Nim.”
“If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought you were trying to enlist my services and Nim’s in matchmaking.”
“Sort of. You got me there. But they wouldn’t be the only ones spending time together. I checked the weather and tomorrow is going to be even nicer than today.”
“Okay. You’re losing me.”
“I’d like to show you the Outer Banks. Chanda said she’d be willing to watch over Nim. Eve said she’d be willing to take Nim over to her first thing tomorrow morning so that you and I can leave early. She said she’d stay to help with her too. And Jordan said he’d be willing to take his puppy over there to help entertain Nim.”
“Everyone is jumping in to help with Nim.”
“Look at her.” He gave Nim’s chubby cheek a playful swipe. “Can you blame them?”
“And my instincts tell me that Eve doesn’t know Jordan will be there with Shamu and vice versa. You’re setting this whole thing up.”
“Guilty, but in my defense, I only asked Chanda if she could babysit. I trust her completely. And I did ask Eve too, because she knows...about your ex... So, I thought you’d feel better leaving Nim behind if she was present. Chanda was the one to come up with the rest. She does that sort of thing. Matchmaking. Her brother is her new project. I must say, she’s on the money with those two.”
“I see.”
Faye looked nervous. Tense. Not at all the reaction he’d hoped for.
“So?”
“So what?”
“So, are you game? You’ll let me show you the beauty of this place?”
“I’ve seen the beauty. The beach. The wildlife. The sunrise. I read that the Outer Banks has a lot of famous lighthouses. Is that what we’re doing? Climbing lighthouses so I can get a full view? We can take Nim along for that.”
“Nope. I thought about doing that, but I think you need to give yourself more time after that bug to have the energy to make it to the top. The Turtleback Lighthouse alone has two hundred and eight steps and it’s not even the biggest one we’ve got. You still have a cough. Even if I carried Nim, I don’t think you’d be up to the climb yet. But stick around long enough and I’ll take you to every one of them, including trips to Manteo to see the Lost Colony play, the Elizabethan Gardens, the Wright Brothers National Memorial, Jockey’s Ridge State Park with the amazing sand dunes at Nags Head. Water sports if you like when it warms up.”
He wished he could take her parasailing over the ocean but it was still too cold for that and he had no idea if she was comfortable with dangling from a giant kite. There was nothing as quiet as floating up with the birds, too high up to hear anything but your thoughts.
“For now, I have something else in mind. Unfortunately, Nim would need to stay behind.”
She stopped and looked left and right to see if anyone was nearby. No one was watching them but the dogs. Especially Laddie, who cocked his head to one side. She pressed her lips to the top of Nim’s head, not as a kiss, but as though she needed the contact and couldn’t part with her. Maybe his plans weren’t such a good idea after all. He should have known she wouldn’t be comfortable with leaving Nim behind, but he figured she trusted Eve enough and—
“Sheriff Ryker. Are you asking me out on a date?”
His neck warmed and he scratched his shoulder.
“I guess I am.”
“You’re not sure?”
“No. I mean, yes, I’m sure. Faye Donovan, I’m asking you out on a date.” He held his breath. She stopped walking again but kept her eyes on her pack. She couldn’t even bring herself to look at him. Maybe he’d been reading all the signs wrong. Maybe the chemistry had been one-way. “I just thought you’d enjoy a break. It wouldn’t be anything fancy. No pressure or expectations,” he quickly added. “Just a chance for you to enjoy yourself for a few hours.”
She nibbled at her bottom lip, then finally glanced at him. The eye contact was brief. Barely long enough for him to catch the regret in her eyes. It was the same look Nat had in her eyes when she told him she couldn’t stay. That she was leaving him. His chest suddenly felt hollow. Cold. He knew what Faye’s answer was before she said it.
“I’m sorry, Carlos. I just can’t.” She glanced at him one more time, before taking off at a brisker pace with the dogs and leaving him standing...alone.
* * *
“WHAT DO YOU mean you said no?” Eve plopped down next to her and took over dicing up a banana for Nim.
“I couldn’t say yes. You know that.”
“I’m not sure that I do. I understand about not leaving Nim alone and not trusting anyone fully with her. I get it. My experience, remember? There were times when, in order to help a mother disappear, I—and others I worked with—had to separate the mother and her child or children in order to cover tracks and get them to their final destination. I was entrusted with their kids and never let them down. I wouldn’t let you down either. I’m here for you. Why else do you think that I told Carlos I’d bring Nim to Chanda’s and stay for the day? It was so that I could be there with Nim, in your place. I knew there was no way you’d leave her otherwise. But you do need a break. And I’m not going to lie. I love seeing the chemistry between you and Carlos. Two people I care about. Look, I’m certain nothing’s going to happen in the few hours you’re off with Carlos—and no, I’m not spoiling the surprise he had planned, so don’t ask—but if anyone suspicious came into town or something showed up on the news, I’d take care of it. I’d keep Nim safe for you. You know it.”
Nim squished banana pieces in her palm instead of eating them.
“Banna,” she said, giggling. She was a happier child now than she was when they’d first arrived in Turtleback. She laughed more. She was still content to sit quietly and play on her own, but she was also trying to say more words and seemed less shy around others. She was thriving here, but that fact was bittersweet. Faye didn’t want her forgetting her mother. Her real mother.
“I know you’d watch over her. I do trust you.”
“Okay, then? You’ll go?”
“No. I can’t lead him on like that. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone. Not him, or Nim. You should see them together, Eve. It breaks my heart because nothing can come of it and I can’t stay in this town forever. You know that.”
Eve pushed the sippy cup closer to Nim, then touched Faye’s arm.
“It’s one outing. Not a marriage proposal.”
Well, that made her feel a bit silly. Eve was right. Maybe she was overthinking things.
“I don’t know. It would feel irresponsible.”
“Spoken like a true mother. Girl, you are such a good parent. It’s totally natural to feel guilty about taking time to yourself, but the fact is that everyone needs to recharge. Moms especially. Why do you think my story time at the shop is so popular? Parents can drop off kids and take an hour to rest, do yoga, shop or even grab a quick lunch date together. A car can’t run forever without having its gas tank refilled. Same philosophy. What good would you be to Nim if you got sick again—worse than last time—because you had drained yourself?”
She was a good mother? Eve’s compliment stirred something in her. She was a
good mother. Not really, but what her friend was saying without realizing it was that Faye hadn’t let Nim or Clara down. She had been pulling through on her promise to her sister. Maybe she didn’t know how to find and protect Clara, but she hadn’t failed at caring for her niece. That was something. She took a deep breath and it seemed to fill her with a rush of confidence. Control. She had this. She’d made it this far. She’d figure things out a step at a time. Maybe time alone with Carlos would help her decide if she could trust him with the truth...or not.
* * *
FAYE HAD NO idea where they were headed when he picked her up at 5:00 a.m. It was still dark out, but she wasn’t nervous. Not anymore. She knew Carlos wasn’t tricking her. She wanted to spend time with him. She didn’t want to leave Nim, but she knew Eve wouldn’t let anything happen to her, and Chanda and Jordan were good, caring people. Even if Jordan heard about the truth from the station while they were gone, he’d never act on it without checking in with Carlos. And she’d be with Carlos. She’d be able to explain and convince him to listen. Besides, he assured her they’d be gone for only a couple of hours total. Three max, with driving time. And he had promised that they wouldn’t be leaving the Outer Banks.
In a way, they had.
She looked outside the window of the Cessna. She’d thought she’d seen a beautiful sunrise but nothing compared to watching it unfold and feeling like she was a part of it. It was magical. Tangerine and melon hues slowly melted into gold with streaks of violet, filling the sky before them and above them. Reflecting off the ocean beneath them. They were enveloped by it.
She glanced over at Carlos as he piloted the four-seater back over the barrier reef. He looked so good in his old bomber jacket, sunglasses and headset. He didn’t bother shaving this morning and she itched to run her palm along his face. She kept her hands on the edge of her seat. Every so often they hit a bit of turbulence, but she was in safe hands. He’d mentioned having been in the Air Force, but she had no idea he still flew. The plane wasn’t his, but a buddy at the nearest airfield trusted him enough to let him have it for a few hours—a Cessna 172 or Skyhawk, his friend had explained with a good dose of pride. Some connections were good to have.