by Cyndi Raye
“Are you having fun?” He leaned close and brushed back a tendril of hair that had escaped her sophisticated up-do.
“I am. Thanks for coming with me.”
His breath fanned her lips as he answered, “The pleasure is all mine. It’s no hardship being in the company of a woman as beautiful as you.”
She swallowed and licked her lips. She imagined she tasted him there. All she had to do was lean forward the inch or so that separated them and her lips would be against his.
Ben had been playing the devoted boyfriend all night. Everyone bought the act. So much so that a few persons who knew them to be friends in Boot Key Harbor threw statements like, “I knew you two would make the perfect couple,” and “It’s about time you two stop dancing around each other.”
There was even a, “You two finally admit you’re in love with each other? Good, because everyone else already knew it.”
Angela internally sighed at the third comment. If only…
Ben was never too far from her side, even with the single ladies in attendance eyeing him like he was the best thing since sliced bread. His act was so good even she had a hard time telling fantasy apart from reality.
She was trying to make their act convincing enough for her new found family to buy while keeping her true feelings hidden from Ben. The balancing act had her questioning why it was so important to make her family believe she was happily committed to someone.
Angela always tried to be honest with herself. Analyzing herself uncovered an uncomfortable answer to that question. She needed to fit in with her biological relatives because she never did with her adopted one.
Her adopted mother and father brought her into their home as a baby believing they could not have children of their own. She was pushed aside when they got news of the first surprise pregnancy.
The distance between them grew longer when her adopted mom bore three more kids.
While they doted on their offspring, she was forgotten and left to her own devices. Even as an adult, she was more often than not left out of family gatherings. She was lucky to be working as a news reporter for her adopted father’s company. Yet, she knew her adopted father remained adamant that she repay the college education he so graciously paid for by working for his paper. In her heart she knew there was no love there.
Angela tried to shrug off the feelings of abandonment and neglect. But there was no getting away from the emotional wounds of their actions.
Meeting her real family offered a chance for a new start. She did not want them to see her as unworthy of their love as the Daltons obviously did. Her twin sister Annie was with a sexy secret agent, Jesse Storm. Jake was engaged to a best selling author and Jon got married today.
They were a happy, united bunch and she did not want them to see her as any less.
She needed to keep up this charade. She needed to show them she was good enough for someone to love and accept. That she was good enough for them to love and accept.
It was disheartening how strong that need was.
“No sad faces are allowed tonight.” Ben’s voice brought Angela back to the present. “Let’s take a walk on the beach. I bet the moonlight will turn that frown upside down.”
She took his hand and let him lead her away from the party. Outside, the tent’s tip rose majestically into the sky.
Ben and Angela walked along a stone-paved path, following the sound of the waves. The night was warm and breezy. The tiny, secluded beach was illuminated by the full moon. The bright ball cast a deep, yellow V over the black-purple liquid surface. Frothy waves pushed back and forth on the natural shore.
When Angela stumbled in her high heels, they stopped to remove their shoes. Wiggling her toes, Angela mused aloud, “I can’t remember the last time I felt the sand in my toes.”
“That’s because you work way too hard. Sometimes it’s good to stop and enjoy the little things.”
What Ben said was true. Her life was her job. Since her adopted father owned QTY Channel 14, she worked harder than any other person in the building to prove what an outstanding reporter she was. She hoped maybe he would acknowledge her in their professional association when she seemed little more than an annoyance in their family life.
She eventually resigned herself to not receiving the acceptance she chased. Still, her workaholic propensity stuck.
Maybe it was about time to get unstuck, she thought.
She had no idea how long she and Ben walked. It seemed like a long time, yet not. They moved along the line where the water lapped the shore. The wind made the branches of the palm tree population sway and played with their hair.
By unspoken consensus, they stopped to take in the view. Their hands remained joined.
The music from the party bounced off the waves. It changed into something slow and romantic. Ben pulled Angela to face him, wrapping her in his arms. “Dance with me?”
She placed her hands around his neck and let him lead.
His hand rested low on her back to hold her close and her head fit in the groove between his chin and shoulder. They swayed. Ben’s heart beat near Angela’s ear.
Moments like this made hope course through Angela’s veins. Ben lightly touched her exposed arms and crooned the lyrics to the love song. It was like they were the only people left in the world. Like they were head over heels for each other.
There was no one around to see them like this, behaving the way lovers did. They should give up the act, right? Go back to being pals who exchanged good-natured insults and harmless jokes?
The connection she was feeling was not real, she knew. Ben was probably just caught up in the act, in the fiction they created to fool everyone else. He would come to his senses soon and go back to chasing the skirts of women more carefree and beautiful than her.
She just had to make sure her head stayed in the game so when that moment came, her heart would withstand the blow.
She snuggled closer to his heat and closed her eyes. Just a little while longer. She would enjoy the fantasy for just a little bit more. Then she would go back to reality.
Chapter 3
Ben was a selfish man.
He made no bones about it and did not see it as a flaw. When he wanted something, he went after it full force. Angela was the only exception to that rule.
Angela was everything any guy could ever want. Smart. Independent. Gorgeous. Funny.
If Ben ever allowed himself to fall in love again, he would snatch her up in a New York minute.
He did not allow himself that luxury though. Anyone he had ever loved either died or went away. His father had no interest in sticking around to raise a kid and left before Ben was old enough to walk. His mother secretly battled cancer and lost the fight on the night of his high school graduation. He thought enlisting in the army would help numb the pain and thought he found a sanctuary in a dark beauty called Cheyenne only to receive a Dear John letter one year into the relationship.
He was always left in the cold when his heart was on the line and he vowed never more.
Angela made him want to rethink that rule.
That was all the more reason to keep their relationship platonic. He could not risk their friendship over something as fickle as love. She was the only constant in his life. Their friendship was one of the things he treasured most. Why ruin it with messy feelings?
They were back at Boot Key Harbor. The hired car that brought them home was already fading in the distance, a small cloud of dust trailing behind it. They had stopped near Lenny’s Place, both unwilling to give up their almost nightly tradition of him walking her home.
Ben took possession of Angela’s hand again.
She looked up at him and smiled as they began the unhurried trek.
Ben always thought Angela was pretty. She had that girl next door quality about her usually but tonight she seemed so much more.
She had removed the pins from her hair in the car and the auburn locks flowed from around her shoulders. Her make-up w
as subtle but made her dark eyes pop more than usual. Short and curvy, she had the look of a 50s pin-up girl.
He always went for tall, willowy females with either blonde or brunette hair. He hoped they would remove the image of her that always resided in his mind. Tonight, with the moonlight bringing out the lighter highlights in her hair and glowing off her skin, Ben revised his earlier assessment of her.
She was absolutely gorgeous.
There was no way any of these other women held a candle to her.
She made a contented sound. “Tonight has been great. I wish it would not end.”
Ben did not want it to end either. “How about a nightcap at Lenny’s?”
“It’s already after eleven and I’ve got to get to work early tomorrow.”
“So yes it is then.”
She giggled. “Why not? But keep me well liquored up. I have a nice little buzz going. I don’t want to lose it.”
The bar and grill was almost empty, a few patrons sitting at a table overlooking the water. Lenny was wiping down the bar, shouting out a greeting as the two passed on their way to their usual table.
“Two shots of tequila, Len. And bring the bottle,” Ben ordered.
“Oh boy,” Lenny groaned. “I hope you guys have gotten better at the Running Man. Those dance moves needed some serious work last time.”
A waitress appeared seconds later with two glasses and a bottle then retreated.
“To great friendships and happy endings,” the friends toasted.
They threw back the first shot and the glasses were topped up again in no time. They joked and laughed as a line-up of popular 90s music tracks rang out over the jukebox. Ben gave Lenny a thumbs up.
“Let’s play truth or dare,” came Angela’s suggestion. It was quickly followed up by an adorable hiccup.
“Come on, you’re really going to play something as cliché as truth or dare while we’re getting plastered?”
“Are you scared that little ol’ me will give you a run for your money?”
“Oh no, you did not just challenge the reigning Boot Key Harbor truth or dare champion. There is nothing I won't say or do. It’s on, babe.” Ben rubbed his hands together.
Things started off simple with questions like, “What would you do if you were a woman for a day?” and dares like “Sniff Lenny’s armpit.”
The fun and games stopped when Angela said, “I dare you to make out with someone in this bar.”
By now, apart from Lenny, the only other person at the bar was a heavyset man who sat on the bar stool gazing into his beer like it held the secrets to the universe. There was no way Ben was making out with another dude. That only left one person.
“Pucker up, sweetheart.”
Angela sputtered, “W-What? I did not mean me.”
“Hey, it’s not my fault you did not specify who. Now, brace yourself honey, my kisses have been known to pack a punch.”
“You’re being absurd. We can’t kiss.” Her voice became higher pitched with every word.
“Are you afraid you’ll like it?” He smirked, knowing the challenge would raise her hackles.
“Oh please, you’re not nearly as irresistible as you think. I’ll prove it. I’ll kiss you and not feel a thing.” She threw down a challenge of her own.
Oh, it was on now!
Ben leaned over the small table, intending to gloat after leaving Angela dazed and confused by his stellar tongue twisting skills.
He did not count on the effect having her lips against his would have on him.
Those selfish habits reared their heads and Ben knew there was no denying his need for this woman. Not tonight.
***
The couple fell against the hatch leading to the inside of Ben’s boat.
Angela had no memory of getting on board. She was surrounded by Ben’s essence – his manly smell, the taste of his tongue on hers, the feel of his large body dominating hers. His body blocked out everything else.
She combed her fingers through the short strands of his hair as he fought to release his body from the confines of his shirt and jacket. There was the crackle of plastic and then the zzzz of a zipper being undone. Angela’s dress loosened away from her body and cool air rushed over her skin. Together, they fumbled until their clothes gave way to skin on skin contact.
The closest horizontal surface was too far away and Ben kept Angela pressed against the wall. Hardness invade soft, yielding skin and they both froze, eyes clinging in the sudden calm before the storm.
Ben’s eyes were turbulent. The pupils dilated until the lenses were almost invisible. He only ever looked at her with such blatant hunger in her most intimate fantasies.
She had to remind herself he was only giving her his body. Nothing more, nothing less.
She touched his jaw, urging his face closer so that their lips clung to each other as the age old dance began. Joined with him like this, she felt complete for the first time in a very long time. She felt like she was not alone in this big, bad world.
The tempest was powerful and swept them into its center, hurling its intensity at them from every angle.
When it was over, they clung to each other in the aftermath like two shipwrecked survivors. Their chests were heaving and their bodies were wet from the exertion.
Ben lifted his head from where he had tucked it against her neck and said, “I need more. Spend the night with me."
There was no thought of denying him. "Yes."
Tonight she would take what he offered and revel in the sensations.
There was plenty of time to deal with the consequences in the morning.
Chapter 4
Lenny threw Angela a worried look she chose to ignore.
Her eyes were trained on a bottle on a shelf behind him, determined not to look at the man seated on the bar stool next to her. Her peripheral vision kept her updated on what was happening next to her though.
Ben currently had a leggy brunette attached to his right side and was eyeing her barely concealed cleavage. He leaned close and whispered in the other woman’s ear and the resulting laughter made Angela cringe.
"Oh Ben, you're so naughty. I hope you’re not all talk," the woman cooed.
Angela tried to imagine what Ben said to the dark-haired woman, then was angry with herself for caring. She picked up her glass of tea and finished the drink in one gulp, wishing it was something stronger. The last time she got drunk resulted in this situation so she had no intention of getting plastered again any time soon.
The last few days had been a lesson in heartbreak and the fissure growing in Angela’s chest was deep and aching.
Six days had passed since they made love but given Ben’s actions since then, that night may as well have never happened.
Even knowing what a player he was, she had convinced herself she was different than the other women he took to his bed. Somewhere along the five hours he had held in his arms, she convinced herself it was not just sex and she was not just another conquest.
She should have known she was fooling herself when she had uttered the words, “I love you,” and he had stiffened.
She had not meant to blurt out her feelings but her control faltered after a particularly powerful climax. He did not physically pull away but emotionally, miles stretched between them.
Hunger overcame them again and even though her body submitted to his, her heart was already bleeding. She knew this was the only time they would be together like this.
In the morning he had walked her home and she knew pain would follow watching his retreating back when he had left. She did not expect the crippling intensity watching him return to his womanizing ways.
They still met at the bar at night and he still walked her home afterwards but their friendship was on rocky ground. It was only to be expected when the balance had been tipped with their reckless actions after the wedding.
There was no one in Boot Key Harbor who did not know Ben thought falling in love was a fool’s game. He was goi
ng out of his way to show her just how strong his aversion to commitment was since that night.
"How about we take this to my place?" the other woman said.
Angela reached her breaking point.
Reaching into her purse, she pulled out a few bills and placed them on the bar. “I’ll catch you later, Lenny.”
She could not look him in the eyes, knowing he witnessed her slip in judgement that night and was now seeing the consequences.
She did not look in Ben’s direction as she moved swiftly to the exit.
"Your friend is kind of rude," said Ben's flavor of the night before releasing another high pitched female sound that followed Angela out the door.
The weather matched her emotions. Huge, dark clouds rolled across the crescent moon. They looked heavy with rain that did not fall.
Her eyes were gritty with holding back tears but she refused to shed another tear over a man who had no consideration for her heart.
She walked toward the cottage on automatic, not really seeing or hearing anything.
When she opened the gate to the small yard someone grabbed her arm from behind.
Before she saw who it was, her body hummed in recognition when electricity zapped from the point of contact.
Her emotions exploded and spilled over in a fury of punches and expletives. "You bastard. How could you turn me into just another one of your conquest? I hate you."
***
The pain in Angela’s eyes was a pliable thing.
Ben saw and felt an answering ache in his chest, knowing he put that look there.
Angela carried a torch for him since their teens. He had always known, though not sure of the intensity. He was also attracted to her back then but never pursued her for fear of ruining their friendship.
Their friendship as they knew ended the night they became lovers and she voiced feelings he feared. It was hard for a man like Ben to admit fear but there was no more denying he had not risked putting his heart on the line for so many years because he was scared of the debilitating emotion.