“He's not good for you, Holiday.” There it was, the overprotective big brotherly tone she knew so well. At that moment she despised that tone.
“Then who is?” The words slipped out and the urgency in her own voice took her by surprise.
I am. She willed him to say it but all she got was stony silence.
Then he sighed. “What do you want me to say, Holiday?”
Holly’s breath caught as her heart moved to her throat. “I want—” she started. “I want you to give us a shot.” There was another long, heavy silence before she added, “As a couple.”
Her heart was out there, hovering in the silence as she waited for him to speak. And the silence was almost answer enough. This couldn’t come as a complete surprise, not after all the flirting, the hints, the innuendos. She’d all but spelled out her feelings from the first day she arrived back in Oakdale.
“I'm just not sure it's what's best for you.”
Holly’s body went numb and she pressed her lips together to stifle a sob. It wasn’t the words that stung so much as the tone. She knew him well enough to know when he was being honest and right now—it was killing him to tell her the truth. He was trying to be nice— he was trying to save her. She’d thought his constant concern for her had meant he cared about her as more than just a friend. And now…maybe she’d been wrong all along.
She took a deep breath but a wave of anger and hurt washed over her making her tremble. “Stop worrying about me for once. I don’t need you to save me from myself.”
All she got was a shocked silence. Benjamin had never been one for confrontations. He preferred to give people space. Well too bad. She’d been waiting to have this conversation for too long. She’d been tiptoeing around the topic out of respect for his delicate sensibilities when it came to hashing things out. She was done waiting.
“Don’t make this about me. I know what I want. What about you? Is it what you want?”
When he didn’t answer, she gripped the phone tighter and tried to swallow back the bile that was rising in her throat. “Benjamin, do you want to be with me?”
A heavy silence fell between them before Benjamin exhaled loudly. “No, I don't think so.”
Holly felt like she’d been punched in the gut as the wind rushed out of her lungs. She heard him say her name but her throat closed up, making a response impossible, even if she knew what to say.
* * * *
Jack should have gone to bed. He’d had one drink too many and would be paying for it in the morning. If he was smart, he would pop some aspirin, drink a couple glasses of water, and shut his brain off with some much needed sleep.
Instead he found himself sprawled out across one of the deck chairs on the patio, staring up at the cloudy sky. It looked bright, thanks to the reflection of city lights. But what he saw was Holly. An image of her, laughing over one of his stupid jokes, her head thrown back revealing a long, slim neck. Her face scrunched up in a grin and her eyes…her eyes were magic. In that bright red dress she’d looked way too good for the dive bar they’d found themselves in after Robert’s disastrous party.
He tried to shove thoughts of Robert to the side. Images of Holly might be torturous but they were delicious. His brother? Not so much.
If you want people to respect you, then you’ve got to demand respect. Prove that you’ve changed. Holly’s voice taunted him. Rubbing a hand over his face, he cursed out loud. What did everyone think he’d been doing these past few years? He’d been working his butt off to make EverTech a success, he’d paid his brother back every dime he’d lost with interest and he’d become a world famous success story. But all his brother saw was the playboy in the gossip rags, the unreliable kid who’d made a mess of his life.
And it was his fault. That’s the image he presented to the world and everyone, including his family, believed it.
And rightfully so. He shook his head and struggled upright into a sitting position. Who was he trying to kid? Look at the mess he’d gotten himself into with Holly tonight, letting his family believe he was actually in a relationship, God forbid. And the ludicrous mishap he’d started with Ivy and Daniel because of one stupid stunt? He hadn’t changed. Despite the new success financially, he was still the same screw up he’d always been.
Robert saw what his friends and Holly refused to believe. You can fool your friends but you can’t fool family.
He rested his elbows on his knees and allowed his head to drop into his hands. It was the same old story with him. He did one silly, reckless thing and suddenly he ruined the lives of everyone around him. He’d thoughtlessly kissed Miranda when they were young, not giving one thought to the fact that his brother had been pining for her for years. He’d signed on the dotted line with his best friend without a second glance. He’d dropped on one knee in a stupid gesture and turned Ivy’s world upside down. He’d crushed his parents’ dreams time and time again by flitting from one woman to the next, from one party to the next, from one country to the next. It was who he was. A screw-up.
Was it any wonder Holly was looking for a man who was the exact opposite from the sounds of it?
And there it was. Right back where he’d started. All thoughts led to Holly.
What was she doing now? Probably sleeping like any sane person would. It was the middle of the night and they’d been out partying for hours. Of course she was asleep.
Images of Holly in bed flooded his brain. Her curls strewn across his pillow, a naked thigh tossed over his. He sucked in a deep breath of fresh air. Do not go there.
Holly was asleep, most likely dreaming of her perfect soon-to-be boyfriend. Benjamin. Jack thought the name in a taunting sing-song voice. He had officially devolved into a child thanks to his ridiculous infatuation with his new roommate and pretend girlfriend.
Jack hoisted himself off of the chaise lounge with a groan. It was official; he was going to be in a world of pain come morning. Shuffling into the kitchen to grab a glass of water to wash down his aspirin, he stopped short at a sound coming from the living room.
He thought he was hearing things since the lights were off, but no, there was definitely sound coming from the dark room. Heading to the living room doorway, he poked his head inside.
There she was. The woman he’d been fantasizing about for the last hour was curled up in a ball on the couch, with an old black-and-white film flickering in the background, the volume on low. From where he stood, Jack could only see the top of her head and her feet, which were sticking out from beneath a blanket.
He tip-toed toward her, thinking he would shut off the TV and wake her so she could go sleep in a proper bed. But as he drew close, he heard it. She was sniffling. Jack froze, his senses on high alert. Then he heard a little hiccup.
His stomach sank. Oh God. She was crying.
She must have heard him approach because she sat up a bit to peer over at him. Jack’s heart tightened painfully. Even in the dim glow from the TV screen he could make out the tears that were trickling down her cheeks.
Moving to her side, he wedged himself into the space where her head had been, forcing her to lie against him as he wrapped his arms around her. She stiffened for a moment before relaxing against him with a heavy sigh. He refused to acknowledge how amazing it felt to have her pressed against him. She fit perfectly, like she’d been made to lie in his arms.
He ran one hand over her back in what he hoped was a soothing gesture as the other held her tight against his chest. Her curls tickled his nose as she buried her face in his chest. He focused on the vanilla scent of her perfume to keep his mind from obsessing over the feel of her in his arms. Now was not the time—he was being chivalrous, dammit.
He felt her breathing slow a bit and soon her shoulders stopped shaking. For a moment he thought she’d fallen asleep laying half on top of him. Not that he would have minded. Jack would have been happy to stay like that all night if it meant she wasn’t crying anymore.
But she eventually stirred and pushed herself
away from him, using his chest as leverage. Her face was so close to his, he could feel her warm breath against his cheek. His skin burned beneath her hands and the tightness in his chest spread to his groin. He should move away from her. She no longer needed to be held and he didn’t have the willpower to keep from crushing her against him. He should go.
Despite his absolute conviction that he should move far away from temptation, his body remained glued to her side. It seemed to have a mind of its own.
He brushed an errant curl out of her face and let his fingers graze her cheek, wiping away the remnants of her tears. “What happened?” he asked.
The sadness that still lingered in her eyes was unbearable to see. He watched her take a deep, shaky breath. “H-he doesn’t want me.”
The hand that had been idly playing with one of her curls stilled. Ice washed through his veins and his mind went blank with incomprehension. The fact that any man didn’t want this woman was incomprehensible. And the fact that she was so heartbroken over any man who could be so idiotic and blind was unbelievable.
He fumbled for something to say. “Benjamin?”
She nodded. Of course, Benjamin. Who else? His stomach turned in disgust and he fought the rage that threatened to take over. He took a deep, steadying breath. This was not about him or that jackass Benjamin. Holly was in pain and that was all that mattered.
The last thing Jack wanted was to hear about her infatuation for this idiot but he forced himself to say, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Holly’s lower lip trembled and Jack was sure he’d never seen anything more heartbreaking than Holly’s struggle to refrain from crying. Then the words spilled out of her, so fast at first he could barely keep up.
It was a struggle to keep his rage in check. He focused on maintaining what he hoped was a sympathetic look on his face as his fists clenched and unclenched against the sofa cushions.
When she finally finished by telling him Benjamin’s parting words that apparently had been the death blow to Holly’s dreams, he couldn’t take it anymore. He moved so he could face her and gripped her shoulders so she was forced to look into his eyes.
Some of his anger must have been clear because her eyes widened in surprise. “I need you to listen to me,” he said. She gave a little nod. His eyes locked with hers as he said slowly, “Benjamin is an idiot.”
There was a brief silence as Holly stared back at him and then he saw the tiniest hint of a smile touch her lips.
He thought his heart might explode. That little flicker of a smile made him feel like Superman. “I’m serious, Holly. This Benjamin guy may be the biggest loser on the face of the planet if he can’t see how amazing you are.”
The tiny smile grew a bit and she let out a little laugh and rolled her eyes. “Well, now you’re just being nice.”
He leaned back a bit and pretended to be horrified. “I would never.”
She giggled a bit and the ice in his veins vanished, only to be replaced by a liquid heat that was entirely inappropriate.
His eyes locked with hers as he continued. “I’m serious. You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. You’re gorgeous, obviously, but you’re also down to earth and funny and you have a lust for life that is awe inspiring.”
He watched her expression shift from amused to touched, her eyes softening as she leaned in closer. He shifted so he could wrap an arm around her. She fit so perfectly against his side, it felt like a puzzle piece clicked into place as she snuggled up against him.
Tilting her head back, she was once again looking into his eyes.
“I’m serious, you know,” he said.
Her voice was little more than a whisper. “Thank you.”
“He’s a fool,” he said, his voice had lowered, too. Time seemed to slow down as their gazes locked. Her lips were so tantalizingly close, it was unbearable. His already fuzzy brain was having a hard time piecing words together, it could only focus on the feel of her body pressed against his and the heat that coursed through him, begging to be released.
She leaned in closer. “I don’t want to talk anymore.”
Chapter 8
She was a fool. This was wrong, so wrong. But it felt so right.
She watched Jack’s eyes cloud over with desire but he held himself away from her, his body rigid beneath her hands.
She leaned in closer.
“We shouldn’t,” he said, his voice so low she almost couldn’t hear him.
She nodded. “You’re right, we shouldn’t. But I want to.”
Closing the distance she lightly brushed her lips against his. It was a brief, almost chaste kiss but it was enough to make all of the blood in her body rush with desire and her heart rate doubled.
For a moment she thought he wouldn’t respond. She went to pull back but then his stiff composure crumbled and he snaked a hand through her curls, crushing his lips against hers with an urgency that was undeniable.
His arm around her tightened so she was pressed firmly against him. But still it wasn’t enough. She wanted to get closer, to lose herself in this intoxicating kiss. He groaned when she wrapped her arms around his neck. In one quick movement, he pulled her so she was sprawled across his lap. He moved his lips over hers, deepening the kiss.
Holly was melting. Every horrible emotion she’d been battling since that phone call was washed away by pure, unbridled desire. Her skin was burning up and there was an ache between her thighs that bordered on painful. She pressed her breasts against his chest and let her hands run over his neck and shoulders, holding him to her. She was holding on for dear life.
His tongue tangled with hers, stroking her mouth and leaving her breathless. She moaned in ecstasy and her head dropped back as she gasped for air. His head dipped to trail kisses down her neck until she was panting for air.
Her fingers tugged at the hem of his T-shirt, until she inched it up enough for her hands to slip underneath. She was desperate to feel his warm skin and his hard chest beneath her fingertips.
His hands had moved from her back to her sides and when one hand slid up to cup her breast, which was bare beneath the nightshirt, she nearly lost it.
“Please,” she said, the word coming out on a moan as he found her hard nipple beneath the thin fabric.
He froze at the sound of her voice. His hands stilled against her and she could feel his muscles grow taut beneath her hands. Oh no, no, no. He couldn’t stop now. She wanted this more than she’d ever wanted anything. She needed him.
Holly drew back so she could see his face. Her stomach plummeted as the aching throb at her core intensified. He was going to pull away.
“We can’t,” he said. “We shouldn’t.”
She shook her head. She didn’t want to hear his rationalizations. He was pulling away from her, rejecting her. That’s all she knew.
“No,” she said. She heard the anger in her own voice and was surprised by it. Jack’s eyes met hers and she held his gaze.
“You don’t want this, you don’t want—”
“I want you,” she said. “I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.” As the words tumbled out of her mouth she recognized that they were the truth. She couldn’t remember ever wanting anything more. For the first time in what felt like forever, she felt like herself. Here in Jack’s arms, she was home—she was exactly where she wanted to be.
He paused for a moment and she saw temptation war with responsibility. “I shouldn’t. I’d be taking advantage, you’re not—”
Holly cut him off again. She shifted so she was straddling his lap, the hard bulge of his erection pressed against the aching heat between her thighs. This time her voice was loud and clear. “Don’t tell me what I want or what I’m ready for. I know what I want and I want you. In bed. Right now.”
She saw his eyes flicker over her face. Whatever he saw must have convinced him that she knew what she was doing because he scooped her into his arms and lifted her from the sofa, her legs wrapped around his wa
ist.
Pressed against his hard chest, she could feel his heartbeat thundering against her breasts. She buried her face against his neck, letting herself get lost in his masculine scent. She heard his quick intake of air as her lips pressed against his neck, her tongue tasting the skin beneath his ear.
He let out a growl of impatience as he tugged at the hem of her nightshirt and whipped it off of her in one fluid movement. She moaned aloud at the exquisite torture of his hard chest pressed against her breasts.
Her heart was pounding as he set her down on his bed. She wanted this, of that she was sure. A surge of fear passed through her but she fought it. It wasn’t fear of this man or what they were about to do—it was how she would feel after. This wasn’t just any man—this was the man she’d had a crush on from afar for years. The man who’d swept her off her feet with a simple dance. But more than that…she wouldn’t be able to walk away if this ended badly. He had become one of her sister’s closest friends over the past year and an inextricable part of her life. It would never just be sex between them.
Things were about to get complicated.
All thoughts and fears were erased when he leaned over her, following her onto the bed. His weight settled against her and they stayed that way for a moment, silent except for their beating hearts and heavy breathing.
He was a dark silhouette against the moonlit room as he hovered over her, giving her every chance to come to her senses.
The last vestige of doubt disappeared. Not just because she wanted this man more than she’d ever wanted anything but because he was waiting for her to say so. She knew he would wait all night or walk away without a word at her say so.
But that’s not what she wanted. Thoughts of Benjamin and his rejection threatened to slip back into her consciousness. That was what she wanted to escape. And she could think of no better way to move on than with the most gorgeous man she’d ever seen in her life. There were worse remedies for heartbreak.
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