“No.”
He wanted to ask “why” but contented himself with stroking her back and listening to the sound of her breathing. He would have been content to stay there all day, he realized with a start. That was odd. And unsettling. But there it was. This woman was getting under his skin.
“So,” he continued. “You’ve decided that Benjamin needs to be the father.”
There was a slight pause before he felt her nod. She pushed herself away from him and looked directly into his eyes as she explained. “He’s stable and committed and reliable, he’s…” her voice trailed off but Jack knew how it would finish. Everything I’m not.
Jack nodded, trying to swallow back the frustration he felt over her logic. “So you’ve decided he’s the guy you want to marry even though you don’t love him? Don’t these hypothetical kids of yours deserve to have two parents who love each other?”
Holly’s mouth dropped open and he watched her cheeks turn a pretty shade of pink. At first he thought he’d just surprised her but once she found her voice, it was anger he heard. “I do love him, how many times do I have to tell people that?”
“As many times as it takes until you believe it, I suppose.” The words came out of Jack’s mouth before he could stop them. He clamped his mouth shut at her wide-eyed look of shock. Dammit, he hadn’t intended to hurt her. It wasn’t his place to tell her who to love and what to do with her life. He shouldn’t be involved. This was exactly why he didn’t get involved.
“Is this because of…us?” she asked. Her eyes had narrowed and she pushed back a little further, so he was at arm’s length.
“What?” he snapped. “No, of course not.” Her brows pulled together in…oh no, was that concern? Or worse, pity? Oh this was definitely not acceptable. “Look, I’m a big boy, I know these last few days didn’t mean anything. That’s not what this is about.”
Holly crossed her arms in front of her chest and tilted her chin up. “Okay, so what is it about then?”
Jack struggled to find the words. He didn’t know why it meant so much to him that she wake up to the truth—preferably before making a monumental mistake—all he knew was, it was imperative that he get through to her.
Before he could come up with any words to explain, she let out a weary sigh and her shoulders slumped. “You know what? I don’t want to hear it. People have been telling me reasons why I shouldn’t get back together with Benjamin for the past six months, there’s nothing you can say that I haven’t heard.”
Her eyes looked so sad, she looked so…defeated…not at all like the Holly he’d come to know. He couldn’t bring himself to argue with her any more. Instead he asked, “And you’re sure it has to be him?”
Her eyes met his then and his chest tightened so painfully, for a moment he couldn’t breathe. “It’s always been him.”
The words were a sledgehammer against his chest but he did his best to hide the way they hurt. He had gone into this with eyes wide open and so had she. They were never supposed to be more than a fling. That was what he’d wanted…that’s what he always wanted. No strings attached. So when had he gone and fallen for this golden-haired beauty?
* * * *
Dinner was a disaster. No, he was a disaster. Holly was perfect in every way. She charmed the socks off of his parents with her glittery smile and her outgoing, upbeat ways. Jack watched in awe as she laughed and asked questions and effortlessly wrapped his parents around her little finger. She was amazing.
It was Jack who was a dud. He caught his mom throwing him curious looks and he couldn’t blame her. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been so quiet in his entire life. If things were normal, he would be cracking jokes along with Holly, or at the very least, participate in the conversation.
But nothing was normal. Jack’s life had been tipped upside down and it was all the fault of his lovely pretend girlfriend who sat by his side—so incredibly close but so very unavailable. What the hell had happened here? At what point had he gone and fallen for his best friend’s sister?
His mind flashed on the night of Ivy’s wedding. The way he’d held Holly in his arms and it had felt so right. So perfect. Maybe he’d been a goner from the start. Now the question way, what was he going to do about it?
Nothing. The answer was a leaden weight in his gut. He wouldn’t do anything about it because he wasn’t the man she wanted. More than that, he wasn’t even in the right category. She had made it very clear from the beginning what type of guy she was looking for—and it was definitely not him. No one in their right mind would call him stable. Or reliable. Or committed…to anything other than work, at least.
Still. He found it hard to believe that Benjamin was the right man for her. Anyone stupid enough to turn her down or make her doubt that she was anything less than perfect was not right for Holly. So how could he make her see that? How could he get her to move on and find someone more deserving? There had to be a better alternative out there—someone who would appreciate her zest for life and her humor and her passion. Someone who could give her the future she wanted.
He was stewing over how he could make her realize that Benjamin wasn’t her only option when his father interrupted his train of thought with a question about his work. He didn’t catch the entire question, he’d been so lost in thought.
All eyes were on him and Jack cleared his throat. “Sorry, what?”
His father repeated the question but Jack didn’t miss the exchanged looks at the table. “Is everything all right?” his mother asked.
He glanced over to see Holly watching him in concern as well. She raised her eyebrows a bit in question when he looked her way but he shook his head. “Yeah, everything is fine. Sorry, just a bit distracted tonight. I have a major deadline due next week and I guess I’m a little preoccupied.”
That seemed to be enough to keep his parents from prying any further but he was well aware of Holly’s eyes on him for the rest of the meal.
* * * *
Jack was acting weird. Like weird-weird. Ever since their little showdown in her bedroom that afternoon, he had been acting strange. If she didn’t know any better, she would think he was nervous.
But she did know better, Jack was not someone who got nervous or flustered or even tongue-tied. There had to be something big going on if he was acting like this around his parents.
By the time they’d said goodbye to his parents Holly was ready to pounce. “What’s going on with you?” she asked the moment his parents walked out of view.
Jack shrugged but he wouldn’t look in her direction as they headed toward the curb to hail a taxi. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Holly stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, forcing pedestrians to veer around her and Jack to stop and look back. She planted her hands on her hips. “You don’t know what I’m talking about?” she echoed.
He was facing her but Holly noticed with alarm that he still wasn’t making eye contact. Oh this couldn’t be good. She walked up to him, stopping only when they were practically touching. She reached up and held his face between her hands, forcing him to look at her. “You were acting weird at dinner,” she said. “I don’t think you said more than three words all night.”
He shrugged but there was something in his eyes.
“What is it? What’s going on?”
He flashed her a smile then but it looked forced and didn’t touch his eyes. “Come on,” he said, tugging her elbow. “Let’s get to that party before Lucia starts to think we stood her up.”
* * * *
The party was in full swing when they arrived. A dance club was hosting the after party and Lucia had left their names with the bouncer, as she’d promised. Lucia spotted them through the thick crowd and came over to greet them.
“Hey, you two. So glad you could make it.”
Lucia was quickly waved over to a table of models, leaving Holly and Jack to fend for themselves. “My God,” Holly said. “I’ve never seen so many beautiful women in one plac
e.” She looked over to Jack who was watching her. “This must be your idea of heaven.” Jack smiled but yet again it looked forced. “Is everything all right?” she asked.
He nodded and took her by the hand to head toward the bar. “Come on, let’s get some drinks.”
Holly was keenly aware of the eyes that followed them as they made their way through the crowd. Somehow over the past few days it had become easy to forget that Jack was a celebrity. But now, in this crowd in particular, she caught every glance, every whisper…and every flash of photography. They reached the bar and she tugged her hand from his.
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
“This place is crawling with photographers,” she said, leaning in so he could hear her over the music.
“So?” Jack raised a hand to beckon the bartender and gave Holly a blank look. Really? Did she really have to spell it out for him? Apparently so.
“So, I don’t want to end up in the gossip pages again,” she said. She waited until he ordered and the bartender went off to get their drinks before she continued. “We agreed to end this little farce, remember?”
Jack’s eyes burned into her and she shifted uncomfortably. When he spoke his voice was unusually hard. “Of course, we wouldn’t want Benjamin getting the wrong impression.”
Holly frowned at the nasty way he said Benjamin’s name. “What?”
His normally rakish grin was more of a smirk as he leaned in. “Heaven forbid the almighty Benjie finds out we actually slept together.”
Holly leaned in a little closer and got a heavy whiff of alcohol. She knew he’d been drinking more than usual at dinner but she hadn’t known he was like this. “Are you drunk?”
He shrugged and took a giant sip of the straight whiskey he’d ordered. “Maybe.”
His attention was nabbed by something over her right shoulder because he peered past her with a look of disgust before cursing a little too loudly. She smiled at the people nearby who looked over. Nothing to see here, just a drunken celebrity who’s in a foul mood, apparently.
She turned to see what had made him curse and muttered an oath of her own under her breath. Robert and Miranda were heading their way. Of course they were here.
“Well, if it isn’t the happy couple,” Robert drawled as they drew near. Miranda gave her a rueful smile before kissing her cheek as her husband and Jack greeted one another with a barely civil nod.
“What are you doing here?” Jack asked. Holly swatted his arm and shot him a look but he ignored her.
“Miranda wouldn’t miss it, she’s a fan of the designer.” If Robert or Miranda noted how rude Jack sounded, they didn’t mention it. “What about you two?” Miranda asked. She turned to Holly, “Are you a fan as well?”
Holly shook her head, “Our friend is a fan. She invited us to tag along.” While the women chatted, Robert and Jack stood in awkward silence. Holly looked over and realized that Jack was all but glaring at Robert.
“Is something wrong?” Robert asked.
Jack chugged the remainder of his whiskey and shook his head, his brown hair flopping into his eyes with the movement. “Nothing at all, my girlfriend here was just about to do me the honor of a dance.”
He wrapped an arm around her and started to lead her onto the dance floor under the watchful eyes of the curious crowd. “What are you doing?” she hissed, trying to remove herself from his grasp.
Holly was excruciatingly aware of the cameras aimed in their direction as they headed to the dance floor. She saw people talking about them while they gawked. What were the odds this lovely couple moment wasn’t going to be caught on film?
Jack pulled her into his arms and they began to move in time to the music. His body felt so good pressed against hers, his warm male scent made her want to ignore the stares. His hands on her back, pressing her against him made her wish she could forget everything and lose herself in the feel of him, and the insistent beat of the music.
But Benjamin’s note was still her top priority. He was giving her another chance to prove that she wasn’t a flake and she would be damned if she screwed it up. Heat flooded her cheeks but it had nothing to do with the eyes that were on them and everything to do with the man who was holding her close right now, leaning in as though he might….
“What are you doing?”
Jack paused momentarily, his eyes, glazed with drink fixed on hers for a moment. “I’m kissing you.”
* * * *
She tasted like wine and strawberries. Her lips moved beneath his, despite her apparent anger. He didn’t want to tear himself away but even in his state, he knew they were making a spectacle.
Grudgingly he pulled back, but he didn’t release her from his arms. Jack knew he was being a jerk but he couldn’t seem to help it. Reason had gone out the window ages ago and all he cared about now was holding onto the woman in his arms. The woman who was glaring up at him.
God, she was sexy when she was pissed. Did Benjamin appreciate that? Probably not. Hell, he’d probably never even seen her angry, and there was no chance he’d ever made her this mad. Nooo, not the sainted Benjamin.
She pulled back from him and tugged his hand, all but dragging him from the dance floor. One thing was certain. Holly was stronger than she looked.
Or he was drunker than he’d realized.
Either way, he was being dragged off the dance floor by a feisty blonde. When they reached an area near the bar with a modicum of privacy, she asked again. “What do you think you’re doing?”
Hadn’t he already answered that question?
“They’re taking pictures,” she continued, gesturing to the room at large. “We’re going to be in the gossip pages again and I can’t allow that. I told you that.”
“Why not?” he asked. He knew why not but he wanted to hear her say it. The masochist in him needed to hear her say it.
Her eyes widened in disbelief. “Benjamin!” she said.
He winced. God, he really hated that name.
“He’s giving me another chance,” she continued. “Please don’t screw this up for me.”
That was it. Jack’s patience had hit the limit. “You don’t need another chance,” he said. “You are perfect just the way you are.” He watched her mouth drop open in shock and was dimly aware that his words were slightly slurred. Dammit, he really shouldn’t have slammed that last drink.
But he had her attention now and it was suddenly imperative that he tell her. Everything. Reaching for her hands, he pulled her closer so he didn’t have to yell over the music. “You are perfect,” he said again, this time watching as her forehead creased in a quizzical look that was as adorable as it was heartbreaking. No one had told her this before. That was just wrong. This woman should hear those words every day of her life.
“Holly, you are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. You’re loyal and kind and funny and unpredictable.” He swallowed the little voice of sobriety that was telling him to shut his mouth.
“Jack, what are you—” He cut her off with another kiss. When he pulled back her expression was stunned, dazed almost.
“You should be with someone who thinks you’re amazing just the way you are.” Her eyes met his and he drew in a deep breath. “You should be with me.”
Despite the music that pulsed around them, Holly’s silence was deafening. Jack’s heart seemed to take a vacation from beating as he waited for her reaction. Instead, he heard Miranda’s voice in his ear. “Here you are. You two looked great out there.”
“Yeah, the center of attention, as usual,” Robert added.
Their arrival, or maybe it was their words, seemed to snap Holly out of her stunned state. “I have to go,” she said, pulling her hands out of his. “I have to get out of here.”
He watched her get swallowed up in the crowd and felt his heart leave with her. What had he done?
* * * *
“What did you do?” Robert asked, his tone accusatory. Jack couldn’t bring himself to get defensive, he jus
t shook his head.
“Don’t wanna talk about it,” he slurred.
Miranda peered at him over her wine glass. “Jack, are you drunk?”
He didn’t respond, he was too busy watching the spot where Holly had disappeared, hoping against hope to see her magically reappear.
She didn’t.
It was Robert who finally got his attention. “What did you do to make her so angry, Jack?”
Jack was too busy staring at the Bermuda Triangle to turn and look at him but Robert continued on. “Let me guess. You did something selfish.”
Jack was dimly aware of Miranda’s voice trying to calm her husband and reassure Jack but Jack was through listening to his brother’s criticisms. He’d just poured his heart out to a woman for the first time in his life—and she’d walked away. The alcohol was doing a decent job of numbing the pain but emotions were close to the surface and Robert’s harsh words brought all of the old resentments back in a tidal wave.
“What do you want from me, Robbie?” He turned around so quickly, his brother and sister-and-law jerked back in surprise. “Seriously, what do you want? I paid back all the money I owed you, with interest.”
His brother stared at him open-mouthed. His shock would have been funny if Jack was in a humorous sort of mood. But he wasn’t. Far from it. Jaw clenched, he forced the words out slowly, enunciating every word. “How many times do I have to apologize?”
Miranda was staring at him with wide eyes and for a moment he thought she might cry, but she kept her composure. Robert’s mouth snapped shut and he moved so he was mere inches in front of Jack. “Once,” he said. “Just once.”
Jack blinked in surprise. For a long moment, he and Robert stared at one another, years’ worth of anger and resentment as solid as a brick wall between them. Jack’s cloudy mind raced through memories of their interactions since their great fallout. Had he ever apologized? He knew he’d felt guilt but had he ever actually said the words? His stomach twisted in horror. No. He’d been too proud, too stupid, too…selfish.
The Accidental Boyfriend Page 15