by Rowe, Brian
“Where are you staying right now?” Lila asked.
Vivien shrugged her shoulders and sighed. “Holiday Inn.”
She might as well have said Motel 6. “No.”
“What?”
“You’re staying with me. I have the guest bedroom!”
Vivien shook her head. “Lila, no. I don’t want to be a burden.”
“Honey, a burden was those occasional dinners when I had to entertain your entire family. But now, with Patrick out of the picture, I welcome you and your son with open arms.”
“You sure?”
“Trust me. I would love to have the two of you over. Please say yes.”
“Can I bring the dog, too?”
“The little critter, too. As long as he doesn’t stink up the place.”
Vivien didn’t have to think too hard. “Yes. Of course, yes.”
Lila threw her pen down and put the bill aside. “Vivien, take my hands.”
“What?”
“Just do it.”
Vivien put her hands on hers. She looked around with the suspicion that everyone in the restaurant was staring at them.
“Repeat after me,” Lila said with a smile.
“OK.”
“I am a goddess.”
“I’m a goddess.”
“I’m super horny.”
Vivien cleared her throat. “I’ve never really liked that word.”
“Say it.”
“OK. I’m horny.”
“And I can get any young stud I want.”
Vivien grinned. She could say that. “I can get any stud I want.”
Lila let go and pointed. “Good. Now start with that one.”
Vivien followed Lila’s finger over toward the front door, where a young white couple were making their way inside.
“Who?”
“That guy right there. He’s gorgeous.”
“He’s not that hot,” Vivien said. “And plus he’s with a girl.”
“So?”
“So, he’s on a date.”
“That girl looks too frigid. She’ll never have sex with him before marriage. You totally have a shot. Go say hi.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“Come on.”
Lila stood up. She was not going to take ‘no’ for an answer. She grabbed hold of Vivien by her stiff shoulders and pushed her across the room toward the table where the two were sitting down.
“Introduce yourself,” Lila said.
Vivien didn’t want to, but she took a step closer to the table. The boy was just semi-cute and looked no older than twenty-five. His plain-looking date looked up at her first, probably wondering if Vivien were their waitress. The boy looked up at Vivien and locked eyes.
Vivien searched for the first words she could think of. “Hello… you… handsome little devil, you.”
There wasn’t much of a reaction. The boy looked at a loss for words. The girl just looked confused.
Vivien nodded and walked out of the restaurant, mortified. Lila giggled from behind her and stepped outside as well.
“That was pathetic!” Lila shouted.
“I can’t do this, Lila. I can’t.”
“Shut up!” Lila locked armed with Vivien. “What’s Gavin doing tonight?”
“He’s at his friend’s place. A sleepover.”
“Perfect.”
“Why?”
Lila smiled and looked up at the stars. “It’s a beautiful night, Viv. We’re gonna get this party started.”
“Party? What party?”
Lila kissed Vivien on the cheek. “I’m getting you laid, you crazy bitch. Tonight, we are going out!”
Vivien didn’t want to give in to this idea just yet, but as they walked back to Lila’s car, she was already thinking she would wear the black dress.
-20-
Vivien popped an Altoid in her mouth and took a few steps forward to the mirror in Lila’s living room. She studied her face. If she had a scorecard, she would rate herself an eight.
Vivien was forty-four years old but looked to be in her late thirties. Tonight, she wanted to look twenty-seven. She had spent the length of a sitcom in the shower, plus double that to doll herself up. Her breasts weren’t behaving themselves tonight, and she struggled making them look perky in her tight black dress. She hadn’t worn this dress in at least a year, but Vivien felt warmth in her heart knowing she had never worn it on a night out with Patrick.
Vivien started hearing footsteps coming from Lila’s bedroom. She turned around and waited to see a vixen. Instead, she saw Yoda.
It was Walter. In his mid-sixties, refined, but definitely old looking, he ogled Vivien in such a way that she felt like a piece of artwork displayed in a French museum.
“My word, Vivien Slate, is that really you?” If Walter was going to make a move on her while she was staying at Lila’s place, she figured this was going to be the time.
“Oh, yes,” Vivien said. “Do I look all right? Lila and I have a date tonight.”
“She’s told me all about it. Sounds like fun.”
Vivien thought the brief conversation was over, but he continued to stare at her. She figured he was trying to imagine what she looked like naked. The thought of Walter in the buff didn’t occur to her once.
“Thank you for letting me stay at your place for a few days,” Vivien said. “You and Lila have really been great about all this.”
“It’s quite all right. It’s nice to have company over.”
The tension was tangible, and Vivien wondered if she’d be forced into having sex tonight not with a young stud but with an older Mister Rogers type.
“Do you know if Lila is ready yet?” she asked.
Like an answer to Vivien’s question, a door slammed behind them so loud Walter looked ready for his second heart attack.
“Ready, Freddy!” Lila appeared around the corner.
Vivien wanted to ask Lila if they were heading to a Hollywood party with an 80’s theme, because Lila’s wild hair and rainbow of colors on her skimpy dress brought back memories of Molly Ringwald and BETA tapes.
“You look amazing,” Vivien said. She meant it, just maybe not in the way that Lila was hoping for.
Lila gave her wrinkly husband a kiss on the cheek and headed toward the door.
“Don’t you girls stay out too late now,” Walter said, as if he were Lila’s conservative father.
“Bye honey bunch,” Lila said and made her way out into the cool night air. Vivien followed, looking into the mirror one last time. She was pleased.
---
Silver Lake was the girls’ destination. While Vivien had enjoyed her occasional hike at Griffith Park and a bite to eat in charming Los Feliz, she had never stepped foot in Silver Lake. The town reminded her of anywhere else in the Valley, with just enough pizzazz to outclass Tarzana. Lila drove around in circles for what felt like an hour before she finally found a spot between a truck and an RV.
The club was called The Temple, and there was a long line of people outside. Vivien felt better about herself when she saw women seemingly older than twenty standing in line.
“This is it, right?” Lila asked. “The Temple? My eyes aren’t what they used to be.”
“Yes. We’re at the right place.”
“Oh, good,” Lila said, nearly tripping and falling flat on the street pavement. “There’s a place called Akbar down the street. We don’t want that. That’s for the butt boys.”
“Butt boys?”
“Uh huh.”
“You mean butt buddies?”
“Whatever. It’s a club for men, and only men, and a handful of women who have zero self respect.”
Vivien laughed. “Well, this place looks to be a good mix of both guys and girls.”
“Perfect. We’re getting you laid tonight if it’s the last thing I do.”
When they finally made their way inside, Lila was already making her way over to her first candidate.
Vivien started walking to
ward the bar. “Do you want a drink?”
“What?” The loud music drowned out all the human voices.
“A drink!”
“What! Say again!”
“DO YOU WANT A DRINK!”
Lila still didn’t seem to hear her. But she nodded anyway.
Vivien started walking backward. “I’LL GET YOU A VODKA CRANBERRY!”
Lila put her thumb up in the air and started making her way toward the dance floor.
An old, pudgy bartender smiled at Vivien. “What can I get for ya!”
Vivien peered over a woman’s shoulder, trying to keep her eye on him. “Two cape cods, please!”
He heard her. He had clearly become talented in reading people’s mouths.
Vivien turned around and saw Lila dancing with not one but two young hotties. Both looked half Lila’s age.
“Two cape cods!” the bartender shouted. “That’s eighteen!”
Vivien plopped a twenty on the counter and moseyed over to an empty table with the drinks. She sat down and immediately took a giant gulp of the vodka cranberry. It was the best thing she had tasted in a long time.
She sat there for a few minutes, enjoying her drink, watching Lila grind up against not two but three guys now in what was becoming a potential orgy. She thought she saw Lila start kissing one of them, but noticed she was only whispering in his ear.
Vivien maneuvered her eyes toward the other tables. Most of the men she could see were with other women or in groups. It took her more than a minute to finally zone in on a young guy who was all by his lonesome. He appeared to be busy texting someone on his cell phone, but he was definitely alone and likely in need of an attractive female companion. He wasn’t insanely cute—he had red hair and a messy goatee—but he definitely was someone she could see herself going down on if the mood struck her right.
But what the hell do I say?
She stared at the guy for another five minutes. He didn’t look her way once.
“Hey you.” Vivien jumped out of her chair when Lila surprised her from behind and grabbed her shoulders. “Oops, sorry,” Lila said. “Didn’t mean to get you up off your chair, you loser bee-yatch!”
“What does that mean?”
“You are such a coward sitting over here by yourself. Go! Get some action! Drain your troubles, baby. That’s why we’re here.”
“I don’t really see anyone to my liking,” Vivien said with an aura of self-righteousness.
“Honey, baby,” Lila said, “tonight’s not the night to be picky. Find a guy who’s just good looking enough to turn you on. And attack him like a wild vulture.”
“You really bring out the best in me, don’t you?”
“Who do you like?”
“What?”
“Who here do you want to ride like a bronco?”
“I told you. No one.”
Lila grabbed Vivien’s face with her sweaty hands and smashed her lips against hers. Before Vivien could blink, Lila started shoving her tongue down her throat. Lila dipped her all the way to the ground before Vivien could gather enough strength to push her friend away.
“What the fuck, Lila!”
Lila started laughing. “I swear, Viv,” she said, her lipstick now spread over her chin and cheeks, “I’m gonna start kissing you on the minute every minute until you get away from this goddamn table and start chatting up some boy toys. You’re got less than sixty seconds. Go!”
Vivien put her hands through her hair and walked away from Lila. No matter how afraid Vivien was to talk to any guys tonight, the morbid reality of feeling that slimy tongue in her mouth again kept her feet moving in a linear direction toward the red head.
Before she knew it, she was standing to the right of him. He had by now put his phone in his pocket. Vivien stood still, waiting for him to smile at her. He still wouldn’t look her way.
Finally, she decided to give the art of speech a whirl. “Do you come here often?”
He didn’t even hear her. She cleared her throat.
“EXCUSE ME!” she shouted. During her louder than expected shriek, the music took a dip in volume, and the redhead jumped back in fright. “Oh!” Vivien said. “I’m so sorry!”
“What the hell’s the matter with you?” He grabbed his phone and disappeared to the back of the club.
As Vivien stood there pessimistic that she’d be finding true love at a mediocre bar in Silver Lake, she started thinking back on her dating life before Patrick. She had thrown herself into her career at an early age and had done little dating before the supposed love of her life Mr. Hess, D.D.S., came along. Vivien realized that she couldn’t even remember how to approach a guy.
“You want another Frenchie?”
Lila appeared behind Vivien, but this time, Vivien was ready. She turned and saw Lila’s tongue coming at her like a slithering snake.
Vivien ducked and started pushing her away.
“Give me a smooch!” Lila said. “Give me a kiss! A big, wet kiss!”
“Go away!” Vivien shouted. “Don’t point your tongue at me!”
Lila smiled and surprised Vivien by having a brand new drink in her hand. Lila drank the whole thing in one impressive gulp. “You better get moving. This place doesn’t stay open forever.”
Vivien looked around the bar and found another one. He looked close to forty, and he was, again, not the most attractive guy in the universe. She started walking toward him but stopped when she saw a younger woman sit beside him in the booth and start chewing on his neck like a hungry vampire.
Vivien turned to her left. There were fewer options by the second.
Finally, she eyed another one. This one was the beginning, middle, and end of a cum shot. This one was perfect.
He looked to be in his late twenties. He had short brown hair and sported a handsome beard. He looked like a hot nerd, the kind of younger guy she might be able to sleep with if he were having a really disappointing night and wanted an older hottie to make him feel better.
Lila was giving her encouragement from the bar as Vivien walked up to him, stepping closer and closer. As she made her way toward his corner, he noticed her coming over. He smiled.
“Hi,” she said from afar. “I’m Vivien.”
“Dusty.” Up close he had an adorable collection of freckles plastered on his young face.
“Nice to meet you. Are you having fun tonight?”
“It’s been OK,” he said. “The music’s usually better. Is this your first time here?”
“Yeah. I’ve never been to Silver Lake, actually.”
Dusty took a step closer. “Really? I live near here, in Echo Park. This is a cute part of the city. You should definitely make your way out here more often.”
“I definitely will.” The pause was inevitable. Vivien didn’t like pauses when it came to talking to potential sex mates. “Can I ask how old you are?” Vivien regretted the question as soon as she asked it, but she was curious.
“How old do you want me to be?” he responded.
Perfect answer.
“Do you like older women?”
“You’re not an older woman.”
She grinned. “Well that’s sweet of you to say.”
He smiled and showed her his teeth. They were more yellow than she had hoped for, but she tried to look past the minor setback.
Vivien decided now was the time to make her move. He didn’t appear to have anything else to say, so she looked into his eyes and stood up on her tippy toes.
She took hold of his shirt and leaned in to kiss him. A magical moment seemed imminent.
But then she missed his mouth and slammed her forehead against his nose.
“OWWWW!” he screamed.
“Oh!” Vivien said. “Shit! I’m sorry!”
Dusty put his hand over his nose and bent over toward the ground, blood spraying from his nostrils. “Motherfucker!”
“Oh, damn it, that was my fault. Not on purpose though. Totally not on purpose!”
The
freckled boy looked at her one more time before stumbling toward the men’s bathroom in the back
Vivien was speechless. She felt her twelve-year-old self would’ve been able to handle the situation better.
Lila appeared behind her. “I take it that didn’t go well.”
Vivien didn’t bother turning around to look at her. “No. It didn’t.”
Her enthusiasm for the evening had faded, and now, all Vivien wanted to do was get the hell out of there. She moved past Lila and sped out of the club, pushing through twenty people or more just to get to Lila’s car.
Lila didn’t come out for another thirty minutes.
By then, Vivien had started walking home.
-21-
While Vivien had been busy applying mascara and attacking her hair with an oversized flat iron for her big night out on the town, Tyler Stiletto was busy making phone calls at his dark and deserted office at Maple and Wilshire in Beverly Hills. Tyler had been working weekends ever since high school, and it always surprised him that lazy Americans had to take two days a week off work when one was more than enough.
In the last few years, he had come to love his Saturdays. While other guys his age were sleeping in, going to the beach, and checking out the latest summer blockbuster, he was at the office, catching up on the week’s workload. Monday through Friday were always hectic as hell due to the amount of calls coming in and going out, and Sunday freaked Tyler out because he didn’t really understand the concept of relaxation. Saturday provided a nice blend of hard work and quiet time.
In the early afternoon, he would usually get a quick bite at the over-priced café down the street. The rest of the day and night would consist of Tyler cold calling all the casting directors in town about their newest projects and leaving endless amounts of voice-mails. He estimated he left at least 200 voice-mails on any given Saturday. On a rare occasion, he would catch a casting director on the phone, but he or she would almost immediately hang up on him. He recognized that sometimes he came across as more annoying than persistent, but that was OK. His clients, which now numbered more than sixty, were getting auditions, callbacks, and, most importantly, jobs. Life was good for Tyler Stiletto, but he was always striving for more. He wanted not just to be rich but also to have great power as one of the biggest name agents in all of L.A.