"Those women asked valid questions, they brought up valid points. I am a stranger without a past. If I were them, I would most likely have a hard time trusting such a person as myself. I have no one to speak on my behalf; I have no proof that I am who I say I am. With my memory as it is, what if my name is not really Kate, what if my name is something else?"
"I have people looking into the information you supplied us with when you first arrived."
With that, Kate's brow furrowed. Even he does not trust me.
As if sensing her trepidation, he continued. "I want you to find your family, to find out what happened to you, to find out why you ended up on my doorstep. I do believe that there is much more to your story than what you can remember - as evidenced by your nightmares. It is possible that your life may be in danger, so we have to proceed cautiously."
Nicholas’ face took on a grim expression as he contemplated the scenarios that came into his mind. The carriage jerked to a stop and the footman quickly opened the door. Nicholas climbed out first, offering his hand to Kate for assistance as she made her way out. When they entered the vestibule, Mr. Baxter was waiting patiently to take their coats and assist them in whatever needs they may have had.
"Thomas, please tell Mrs. Thompson that Ms. Dornacher and I will take tea in the library before we retire for the evening."
"Very well sir." Thomas bowed slightly before scuttling off to perform his duties.
Nicholas turned to Kate, gesturing his hand down the hallway. They proceeded towards the library in silence with only the sound of their shoes and the swishing of fabric as evidence to their movements. With all of the stress caused by the eventful evening, Kate's head was beginning to hurt in earnest. At least now my excuse is no longer a lie.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Oh dear, Oh dear, what a disastrous end to what was supposed to be a lovely evening." Rose was pacing around her bedroom, wringing her hands as she went. "I thought Matilda and Clara behaved rather poorly towards Katherine."
Edward walked over to his wife and gently pushed her into the nearest chair.
"Dearest, you are making more out of this than there is. Clara was one of Emily's closest friends, can you really not understand her trepidation?"
"Emily was my best friend.” Hurt flashed across Rose's face and Edward immediately felt bad for causing her any grief.
"Yes indeed, no one doubts that. But you have spent more time with Ms. Dornacher than they have, and in time, they may come to like her as much as you do." He placed his hands upon her shoulders and kissed the top of her head.
"I doubt Matilda will. She has had her eye on Nicholas ever since she came of age."
Edward chuckled at that remark. "Nicholas is a smart, dependable man, capable of making his own decisions. If Miss Beverly turns out to be the one he sets his heart to, we as his friends must be supportive."
Rose sighed and stood from her seat. "I know you're right. Still, I must call upon Ms. Dornacher tomorrow and apologize just the same."
Edward took hold of Rose's hands and gently pulled her into his arms.
"Have I told you yet today, how much I truly love you?"
"I believe so my dear, but those are words that can never be spoken too often."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
As she had on countless other evenings, Mrs. Thompson watched Ms. Rusch set up a service of tea in the library. It was customary for Mr. Bennett to engage Mr. Baxter in idle chit chat about the evening, but not this night. Instead, Mr. Bennett stood quietly alongside Ms. Dornacher. Without looking directly into her face, Mrs. Thompson could tell that the young woman had been crying once again.
Nicholas led Kate to a chair in front of the fire, taking the seat directly across from her. She watched as Nicholas pulled a small glass vial out of his pocket and poured a small amount into the cup of tea Ms. Rusch had handed him. When he looked up, he saw a quizzical look upon Kate's face.
"Preston gave me some sleeping powder before we left the Dickson home. I had spoken to him about my recent sleep issues and he supplied me with a cure." Nicholas then leaned forward in his chair and handed the vial to Kate. She turned the vial in her finger for a few moments, contemplating the contents and their abilities.
"I suppose I too could use a little bit as well." As she finished her sentence, a yawn escaped her lips. "Perhaps I should take my tea to my room."
Nicholas laughed as he found himself yawning in response. "Perhaps I should as well." He directed Kate to the secret passageway. "It will be much quicker and we will be less likely to spill our tea on Mrs. Thompson's freshly cleaned floors."
Once they had reached the doors to their prospective rooms, Kate turned to face him. "Nicholas?"
"Yes, Katherine?"
"Thank you for the lovely evening. Despite everything, I had a nice time... for the most part." Her sleepy smile was so sweet, Nicholas nearly forgot himself. It seemed almost instinctive to reach out and kiss her goodnight. He silently chided himself for being so tired as to cause this near mis-step.
"You are most welcome." His voice was softer, more husky now. He smiled at her and watched her go into her room. He turned, and then quickly closed his own door. He stood against it, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The sound of a man clearing his throat made Nicholas's eyes pop open.
"Thomas! Can I never have a moment alone?"
"I do apologize sir, I was just putting your coat into the wardrobe. I was not expecting you to enter through the other door. Is there something I can help you with?"
"No, I am just so very tired. Please see to it that I am not disturbed in the morning."
"Yes, sir." Thomas bowed ever so slightly and left the room.
Nicholas finished his tea, changed into his nightclothes and climbed into bed where he soon fell fast asleep.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Kate nearly dropped the cup and saucer on the floor. Her hands were trembling so much, it was all she could do to hold them steady while she closed the door with her free hand. She was glad that no one, including Margaret was there to witness her behavior. She quickly changed into a nightdress and drank her cooled tea. She hoped that Doctor Granville's sleeping powder would work quickly and effectively.
She felt a pair of arms wrapped tightly around her. She felt herself embracing a man in her arms. It felt good, warm, loving. Then he stepped back and Kate looked up into his face, warmly lit with a smile. His eyes held hers for a moment while he spoke.
"It’s been ages since I saw you last. You seem to have grown from a girl into a woman overnight."
"Oh James, you are never happy unless you tease me!"
Kate sat up and looked around the room. Disoriented from sleep, she briefly forgot where she was. Unlike with her recent nightmares, Kate wished that this dream had continued on. That face… James' face was the same as the one belonging to the dead man in my nightmares. Kate tried to remember more, but the sleeping powder was potent and she was soon adrift once again.
“Miss Kate,” Margaret gently nudged Kate’s arm as she spoke “it is time to get up now.”
“Wha? Who? Oh, Margaret, it’s you.”
“Yes, ma’am. I have orders from Mrs. Thompson to wake you up.”
“What time is it?”
“It’s just past 10:30. I have brought you a light breakfast along with some headache powders and a kitten in need of playtime.”
“I cannot believe how long I have slept! Although I am a little hungry, I have no need for the pain reliever.” Kate scratched Stormy’s head and around his ears. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to play with you today. I have some things I need to take care of.”
“Begging your pardon, but I overheard that your dinner party did not go so well last evening. Is that why you took the sleeping powder?”
“Margaret, you know that I have had trouble sleeping ever since I arrived. That was the main reason I accepted the doctor’s cure. As for d
inner, two of the women in attendance were not as accepting of me, as we had hoped they would be.”
Margaret wrinkled her face in a look of disgust. Kate reached out and gently squeezed the maid’s hand.
“Now, now, we must not be like that. As I told Nicholas, given the circumstances, I understand the women’s trepidation concerning me.” Kate noticed how Margaret arched her eyebrows at the informal use of Nicholas’s name.
“Do not put so much thought into it Margaret. Mr. Bennett and I came to a mutual understanding which allows us to be less formal in our addressing of one another. Now, if you would, please draw me a bath.”
As Margaret set about her chore, Kate went to the writing desk and pulled out her journal. Her dream had seemed so real. The feeling of her arms wrapped around… what was it she called him? James? Yes, she had called him James. The embrace had felt as real as any she had had while awake. The questions began to swirl in her brain and she struggled to write them all down. Who is James? What type of relationship did we have? What happened to him? Is he really dead? Why did I come to Critchfield Manor? Am I in danger? What should I do?
She wrote down everything she could remember about her dream, replaying it over and over in her head. Kate closed her journal for the second time that morning, making sure to carefully tuck it into a secret panel inside the desk. She checked her appearance in a full length mirror, and then made her way down to the main entry doors
Slightly startled, Kate turned to see Mrs. Thompson approaching her.
"Good morning, Mrs. Thompson."
"Good morning. Is there something I may help you with?"
"No, thank you. I am on my way to visit Mrs. Dickson."
"Is the carriage ready?"
"That won't be necessary, it is such a lovely day and I am well rested."
"You intend to walk?"
Kate felt like a child under Mrs. Thompson’s scrutiny. She spoke with a confidence she was not feeling.
"Yes, I think it would be good for me."
"Alone?"
"Would you be more at ease if I had an escort?" Or someone who would spy on me for you?
"I am sure Mr. Bennett would prefer it. I will call upon young Mr. Adams, if you would please wait here until he can join you."
Mrs. Thompson walked away before Kate could respond. She went to the nearest servant bell box and rang for Robert. He must not have been too far away for he arrived in just a few minutes. Mrs. Thompson gave him his instructions then nodded to Kate as if to say you may go now."
Kate was glad that Robert chose to walk a few paces behind her. She had wanted a few moments alone to think about what she would say to Rose, and to enjoy the morning without having to entertain the boy in conversation. By the time she had reached the Dickson's front door, the boy was no longer within her sight. Dorothy welcomed her in the front door and led Kate to the front parlor.
When Rose entered the parlor, she noticed Kate was wearing one of the ready-made dresses she had given her. Rose counted herself as fortunate for having such an understanding husband. Edward knew how much she enjoyed creating dresses, and felt that her talent was a gift that should not be squandered simply because she was married and did not need to work. She approached Kate, taking her hands into her own. As she did, she noticed that although Kate’s lips were curled up into a smile, the rest of her face seemed worried or upset.
“Oh Katherine, I am so sorry about last night. I have…”
Kate shook her head and put up her hand to stay Rose’s words. “Please do not feel bad on my account. I was over-tired last night and I let my feelings get away from me…”
“Yes, but I feel you were treated less than fairly, and in my own home…”
“Rose, you are so very sweet and kind hearted. Not only do I not hold you responsible for what transpired, I have put it all behind me.”
“Yet your face would tell a different story. What is the cause then if not last night’s dinner?”
“I do not know where to begin… It is more than one thing. I have a few things on my mind this morning.”
Rose motioned for Kate to take a seat on the settee, and then sat herself down right next to her. After a brief moment, Kate was able to collect her thoughts.
“I had a new dream last night. This time, I had embraced the same man from my nightmares, the one who appears to be dead. I called him James…”
“Oh dear!”
“I thought that this is something I should tell Nicholas about, however…”
“However?”
“Last night, as Nicholas was telling me goodnight, there was a brief moment where I believed…”
“Yes?”
“Well, it seemed as though he was about to kiss me.”
“Oh my!”
“Rose, what should I do?”
Kate was holding tightly to Rose’s hand, and nodding her head.
“Now don’t you worry, we will figure all of this out. We should start by addressing each item separately. First, do you have feelings for Nicholas?”
“I, I am not sure of my feelings. He is a very kind man, and I do so enjoy the time I spend with him.”
“I see. Now for the second issue. What sort of embrace would you say you had with James?”
“I know it was a dream, but it seemed more like a memory. Our embrace was loving, yet not like that of lovers.”
“I see… I think you should tell Nicholas what you think you know regarding James, as it may be important in helping you regain your memories. As for what nearly happened between you and Nicholas last night, I say to think on it no more. You were both tired, so perhaps it was just an involuntary reflex.”
“Yes, I believe you are right on both accounts. That leads me to my last dilemma. Nicholas has been very kind to take me in, but I feel I should be doing more to support myself. I cannot go on living with Nicholas indefinitely, depending upon his generosity to get by. After all, he is not responsible for me just because I was found on his doorstep.”
“True as that may be, I know Nicholas does feel a sense of responsibility where your welfare is concerned. You should discuss this matter with him. If you do not, you may hurt his manly pride.”
“I did not even think of that…”
“Perhaps if you came to assist me in my work, you would have more to occupy your days with while at the same time, you would earn a small wage, freeing you from being totally dependent on Nicholas.”
“Are you sure about that Rose? What if I am slow to learn and frustrate you beyond belief?”
Rose pondered that thought for a moment then threw her head back in laughter.
“My dear, I have every confidence in your abilities and I have two children who have taught me the meaning of patience.”
Kate felt herself finally relaxing. Everything will work out fine.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Nicholas went about his morning as usual. Even still, he found himself replaying the events from the night before, over and over in his head. Was he drawn to Miss Dornacher? He hardly knew her, yet when he was around her it seemed perfectly natural, as if they had known each other for years.
Shortly before lunch, there was a light knock on the open library door. He moved his gaze from the papers on his desk to the doorway where Kate was standing. He thought she looked lovely in her new dress, that the blue color suited her well. He motioned for her to come inside as he got up from his seat. As she slowly approached his desk, Nicholas noticed she was biting her lower lip.
“Mr. Bennett, I need to speak with you…”
“Katherine, you are speaking to me, and I thought we were beyond such formalities.”
“Yes… you are correct on both points… Nicholas.” Kate felt a slight heat creep across her cheeks when she spoke his name. “I had another dream last night. In this one, I am with the man that has plagued my nightmares, but this time he was alive and I called him James.”
“I see. What else can you remember about this
dream?”
Kate fidgeted with her hands for a moment. Why was she so uncomfortable all of a sudden?
“We, that is, James and I, had embraced then he mentioned how much I had grown. It was all done in a humorous manner.” Kate looked pointedly at Nicholas. His face was again expressionless, the same as the first time she saw him. “There was nothing improper in our embrace. It was reminiscent of one you might share with a family member or close friend, nothing more.”
“I see. I will add this to the information I have my men looking into on your behalf.” Nicholas stood from the desk, intent of escorting her to the breakfast room.
“There is something else.”
He cocked his head and raised his left eyebrow. “Oh?”
“Rose has offered me a position as her assistant. I am ever so grateful for all you have done for me, but I cannot expect for you to provide for me indefinitely.” Kate realized her words were rushed, that she was nearly breathless when she finished.
“I see, is that all?”
“Well, yes.” Can he say more than just “I see”?
Nicholas proceeded around the desk and offered his arm to her. Kate took it, but with a slight uneasiness that she had not felt with him before. His replies had been stilted, his expression had been masked. Was he upset or relieved? How she wished he would say more. He kept up his stoicism through lunch. When he did speak it was only in regards to their meal, the weather and other general topics.
When the meal was over, Nicholas invited Kate to take a stroll through the garden with him. She gladly accepted. She hoped that the walk would help to lighten his spirit – or at least get him to talk more. She once again took his proffered arm as they made their way beyond the spring gardens, taking a turn towards the east. They walked in silence through a light forest of trees that soon opened up to a clearing. In the center of the clearing was a small man-made pond. On the side nearest them stood a stone bench that looked as though it pre-dated the manor. On the opposite side, yellow, pink and purple wildflowers lined the bank. Kate found the sight so serene, so peaceful.
The Critchfield Locket Page 5