“You,” I say, looking her in the eyes. “Just you, Emma.”
“How many women do you call baby?”
“Same answer. You, Emma, just you.”
“Why sweetheart and not baby? You started out with baby.”
“I’m pretty sure I started out with sweetheart.”
“I think it was baby.”
Amused, I arch a brow. “Do you have a preference?”
“You,” she says softly, her eyes meeting mine, her mood shifting, darkening. “You’re my preference, Jax.”
Heat rushes between us and damn near explodes, but I check it. I hold back. “This isn’t just sex and I’m not going to prove the opposite by stripping you naked and fucking you right now.”
“But you want to?”
“Yes. I want to. Tell me the secret you’re protecting for York.”
“Talk about whiplash while I’m drunk. I’m not protecting it for York. He’s protecting his family. I know something about his family.”
“Tell me,” I urge.
“No. No, because it’s about my family, too, and if you use it, York will humiliate me.”
I scoot up the bed, closer to her, leaning into her, my hand on the frame by her head. “How will he humiliate you?”
“It doesn’t matter. I’m telling you that if you use this, he will.”
“I won’t let him humiliate you,” I promise.
“You can’t stop him, Jax.”
“You underestimate me, sweetheart, but that’s okay. You don’t know me well enough to know that I protect what matters to me. And you do. I will protect you.”
“You just met me and we’re enemies.”
“We are not enemies.”
Her hand closes around my shirt. “I don’t want us to be enemies, Jax, but—”
I kiss her, and when she moans one of her soft, sweet moans, all I want is her. I drink her in and stretch us out on the bed, pulling her close, catching her legs with my legs. “We’re not enemies,” I repeat, kissing her all over again, my hands stroking down her sides, her hips, and cupping her backside.
She moans but not with pleasure. “My head is spinning,” she whispers. “I hate this.”
I stroke her hair. “Shut your eyes and rest a little bit.”
“I don’t want to shut my eyes. I want you.”
“You’ll have me right here with you, while you shut your eyes.”
“I think—I think I have to.”
I shift our bodies, rolling to my back, and pulling her onto my chest, under my arm. “Rest.”
“Just for—a minute or two.” Her voice is heavy, groggy. “We didn’t sleep much last night.”
“No, we didn’t.”
Almost instantly, her body relaxes into mine, the sweet scent of her teasing my nostrils, the feel of her soft curves next to me hardening my body. I want her, but I meant what I said to her; this isn’t just about sex. This is about so many damn things outside of sex, and so I lay here, holding her, this woman who calls me her enemy, who really could be my enemy with that damn journal an arm’s reach away. And I’ve managed to get not one single answer from her. I don’t know what she’s protecting, but I do know it’s damaging to her family. And even drunk, She didn’t trust me not to use that information to hurt her family. Holy hell, if I find out they killed my brother, she’d be right. I’d use it to destroy them if I could and that takes me to a dark, dark place. A place where I have to choose between my dead brother and Emma.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Emma…
I’m not sure how long I sleep on top of Jax, and I only have a faint memory of him pulling a blanket over me, an even fainter one of him powering up his computer and settling against the headboard next to me. The next real grasp on reality I have is when I wake to the roiling of my stomach. “Oh, God. This can’t be happening.” I toss away the blanket and roll off the mattress, that horrible sensation in my belly knifing deeper, promising a horrific result. I’m going to be sick.
Running through the shadows of the now dark room, only Jax’s bedside lamp as my guide, I stumble. Jax is suddenly there, catching me, helping me to the bathroom and flipping on the light for me. I want to tell him to go, that he can’t see me like this, but it’s too late. I all but dive for the toilet and go down on my knees. Jax is right there beside me, holding my hair. I heave and it’s all over. The price for drinking has been paid. Punishment that feels eternal before it ends, and I reach for the handle, flushing away the evidence. Jax hands me a towel, his other hand still holding my hair.
“I hate that you just saw that,” I say, accepting his offering and wiping my face before sitting down on the floor with my back against the tub. My shoes are gone. Wonderful. I made the man take off my shoes and he didn’t even get sex in return.
I press my hand to my face. “I can’t believe I just threw up in front of you.”
He moves closer, on one knee in front of me, his hand settling on my calves, his touch possessive, familiar in the way people in relationships are familiar. “How do you feel now?”
“Embarrassed, but better. I don’t understand why the whiskey affected me that badly. I didn’t drink that much though I did drink it straight up.”
“You’re one month off losing your father in the middle of hell,” he says. “Emotions beat at the body. That’s why you slept for hours, too, I’m sure.”
I blink. “Wait. I slept for hours? What time is it?”
He glances at his watch, and for a moment my eyes linger on the black and silver wrapping his wrist, an expensive Omega De Ville. I know this because, in an ironic twist, it’s York’s watch of choice, but on Jax, it’s classic. On York, it just felt like a scream for attention. Because they don’t just wear their watches differently, they wear their money differently.
“Ten,” he informs me, his free hand settling on my knee.
My gaze jerks to his. “Five hours? You brought me to your hotel and I slept for five hours and then threw up. Well, I guess I really know how to take care of the ‘just sex’ side of things, don’t I?”
“Good thing this isn’t just sex, now isn’t it?” he challenges. “Are you able to get up?” He offers me his hand.
“Yes,” I say, settling my palm on his palm, and letting him stand and take me with him, “but I need to brush my teeth before I get anywhere near you.” I try to step away from him and sway.
Jax catches my waist. “Where’s your toothbrush? I’ll grab it for you.”
“Pink bag in my suitcase. Thank you.”
He kisses my temple and sets me on the edge of the tub before he walks away, leaving me touching that spot where his mouth was just touching, contemplating the tenderness of that act. That wasn’t about sex. That was about affection. The man just held my hair when I threw up. He held me when I was sick and he didn’t make me feel bad about any of it. I’m affected by this realization. I’m affected by this man, but I’m also seeing Jax as a man dedicated to his family and if mine hurt his, I’m worried about my brother.
“This pink bag?” Jax asks, appearing in the doorway.
Oh good gosh, now I have the man digging for pink bags for me. He’s the CEO of a worldwide whiskey company, and now my hair-holding errand boy. “Yes.” I stand up, feeling steadier now, as I hurry forward to accept the bag. “Thank you, Jax. Sorry for all of this.”
“Nothing to be sorry about, baby.”
“Baby?”
“Sweetheart?”
I laugh despite being embarrassed beyond belief right about now. “Oh God. I’m remembering that conversation. Remind me not to drink again. Ever.”
Now he laughs, too, and the man has this low rumble of laughter that vibrates through me. I feel it, and him, everywhere, all over, tingling like I’m naked and sexy right now, not a mess of a person who just threw up. I step to the sink and unzip my bag, pulling out my toothbrush.
“I’ll give you a moment alone,” he says, pausing at the door. “But tell me. Which do you prefer, Emm
a? Baby or sweetheart?”
I glance over my shoulder at him. “Baby, because—” I turn away, stopping myself before I say something silly, and reach for my toothpaste. “Because I do.”
“Because why?” he presses.
I squirt toothpaste on my brush but I give into the moment, I can tell he’s not going to let me escape. “Because,” I say, turning to face him. “I like how your voice sounds when you say it.”
His eyes light with mischief, and a mix of lust and affection that I don’t believe any man has ever shown me. This is real, I realize in this moment. We’re real and I have to decide how to navigate the narrow bridge between him and my brother.
“See you in a few, baby.” He winks and disappears into the room, while my cheeks heat pink, a detail I confirm by looking into the mirror. And my hair is poling out here and there, doing anything but laying flat on my head.
My teeth come first, I brush them, then wash my face, brush my hair, and run my hands down my jeans, a question Jax asked me while I was neck deep in whiskey, coming back to me. He wanted to know about York’s secret and I have a sudden realization that’s not a good one. A realization that changes how I responded. How I have to respond now.
I exit the bathroom to find the bedroom empty. Continuing on, I turn into the living area to find Jax sitting on the couch, a drink in his hand. He lifts it in my direction. I wave him away. “Not funny.”
He holds up my phone. “It keeps ringing. Your brother and an unknown caller.”
I inhale and let my breath out. “The unknown will be York, trying to get by me blocking him with another number. Of course, I don’t know why he would think I would answer an unknown call.” I close the space between us and sit down on the wooden table in front of him, right where the pizza box was before he clearly got rid of it. “You asked me what secret York wanted me to keep.”
He pauses with the drink to his lips, but then takes a sip. “Yes,” he says, lowering his glass. “I did. And you told me, you wouldn’t tell. You told me that I could use that information to hurt you.”
His tone doesn’t change. His expression doesn’t change, but I don’t miss the slight hardening of his jaw. He might have been tender and sweet in the bathroom but this is a point of contention for him. “This information could hurt my family, Jax, it could hurt me, but it could also hurt you, because you knew to ask me about it, because I spoke about it in front of you with York present. Now, you’re in his crosshairs. Now, he’s going to come for you and that’s my fault. You need to be ready.”
He downs his drink and sets the glass on the table next to him before leaning forward, his hands settling on my legs. “Don’t you think I need to know what it is he’s coming at me for, Emma?”
It’s a question that brings us to a moment of truth. If I tell him this secret, there are consequences to me and my family. If I don’t tell him, there are consequences to him with York.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
Emma…
“York is dangerous,” I say, my hands pressed to the table, a way of grounding myself when I really want to just get up and change the subject. But those consequences I fear, won’t allow me to leave this alone. “But just as he will come at you, Jax, once I tell you this, you could come at my family.”
His jaw hardens, his hand on my knee flexing into my leg. “What if I tell you I won’t use the information?”
“I’ll believe you, Jax, but I also know you have a deep burn for some sort of redemption for your brother, a reason that makes what he did make sense. And even you, a man I believe to be a man of calculation and control are human. One piece of information about your brother and my family could hit an emotional trigger, and all good intentions fly out the window.”
“In other words, you still don’t trust me.”
“I barely know you, Jax and you clearly loved your brother as I love mine. Those two things could easily be at odds.”
“Could be if we let them, but we won’t.”
“Come on, Jax. If my brother did something that led to your brother’s troubles, to his death, then what?”
His brow arches. “I thought you didn’t believe your brother could do such a thing?”
I look skyward, battling about ten emotions, I have to rein in before I look at him again. “I didn’t think my father could either. What happens if Chance was involved, even if he just covered up for my father? Are you going to ruin him, and me with him?”
“If you believe that, Emma, why are you even here right now?” he demands, anger pulsing off of him now.
All I hear in that question is nothing. He just said nothing that I want to hear. I try to stand up. He catches my legs, holding me in place. “Running from me now?”
“Don’t challenge me right now,” I say, jabbing his chest. “That’s not what I need from you. Just answer. Say the words I want to hear, Jax, because like it or not, we’re still fresh, we’re still new. Too new for me not to need to hear the damn words.”
“No, Emma,” he says, his jaw clenched. “I will not ruin you. I will not ruin Knight Hotels either. Because they are a part of you. That’s your blood inheritance, and unlike your father, I believe that’s your right.”
That comment punches me in the gut and I cut my stare. He’s seen too much too soon and I’m suffocating in his judgment of my family, of me. I’m suffocating in his judgment of me. His fingers catch my chin and he turns my gaze to his. “I don’t know why your father put fucking Randall above you, but I will not put my revenge above you.”
“Revenge?” I challenge. “That’s what you want? I thought you wanted answers.”
“Of course, I want answers, but there appears to be more players than I thought, as well. Do you really think York showed up when I did by coincidence?”
“That wasn’t about you, Jax. It’s about the secret he wants me to keep and if it gets out, and he ties it to me, he will lash out at me and my brother.”
He arches a brow. “Does your brother know this secret?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “I don’t think he does. I know. York thought I knew until I screamed that stupid comment about Marion at him. Now, he knows I know. Now, he’s going to think you know because of me, because I stupidly spoke about it in front of you. That means I owe you protection. And yes, I owe you a reason that he’s going to come at you. But don’t make this a mistake. Don’t make me sorry that I told you.”
His hands close around mine. “The only person I’ll make sorry is him. He might be vicious, but he has met his match in me, I promise you.”
It’s hard to feel comfort in a declaration of viciousness from a man I’m about to give a key to my future. And he promises. I’ve heard promises that meant nothing. York himself was full of promises, as was my father, but all that aside, there is something about Jax, something that makes me feel as if I’ve known him a lifetime when it’s only been days. “I’m going to tell you. I’m going to trust you.”
“And that is a good decision because I’m going to protect you, Emma.”
I don’t need a man to protect me. I don’t intend to let any man have that much control over my life ever again, but this particular vow, spoken after his prior statement of viciousness, and under these circumstances is one that offers some comfort, as much as I guess can really be possible. “Okay,” I say. “I found proof that Marion was having an affair with my father, which might seem small, but it’s not. It has a snowball effect, in so many ways, too many ways.”
“And why exactly does this worry York?” he asks cautiously.
“Marion is his aunt, and if her husband finds out, he’ll leave her, which would cost her a ton of money. Marion and her husband are investors in York’s yacht company. That means his family fortune is directly affected. And of course, I’m worried Marion’s husband would drop us as their airline’s partner should this news get out by way of our family. But more so, I’m worried about what York would do to pay me back.”
He considers this news a few b
eats, his expression hard, unreadable. He doesn’t speak, but he leans back and scrubs his jaw, sitting there another few moments, before he inches forward, his elbows settling on his knees. “Here’s the thing about affairs. They really are a poison that often leads nowhere good, often to revenge and nastiness. York showed up when I was at your apartment. More so than ever, I believe that was planned.”
“What are you thinking?”
“My brother was a savvy businessman. If your father came at him, he’d go after your father.”
“And that would lead to the affair,” I supply, following where he’s leading, far too easily for comfort. “You think you’re connected to this.”
“I think my brother might have been.”
My stomach knots with how dirty this is looking, how connected. My cellphone buzzes with a text message and I grab my phone where it sits on the coffee table next to me and check the screen. “Chance,” I say, reading the message and going cold inside.
“What is it?” Jax says, squeezing my leg but I’m still staring at the message in disbelief.
“He wants me to be in the office for a meeting in the morning.” My lips thin and I look at him. “A meeting with Marion. I don’t like where this is going. This is all about her intimidating me after York threatened me.”
“Can she?”
She can’t, I think, but York can, which is a rabbit hole I’m not going down with Jax now, maybe not ever. “York can find a way to hurt anyone. I was with the man for three years, two of which I thought he was a good man. He wasn’t. That’s how good at manipulation he is. She knows I know that.”
“What does he have on you, Emma?”
“He doesn’t need to have anything real, Jax. He’ll create it. I need to figure out what my brother knows.” I eye my phone and text him back: I’ll be there. That’s all I say. I set my phone down. “That was the point in telling you all of this,” I say, continuing with my prior point. “York is trouble. Don’t underestimate him.”
His eyes glint. “Let’s hope he underestimates me. I loved my brother but he lacked a back bone. I’m not my brother.”
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