by A. T Brennan
She bit back a smile as he spoke. She’d figured his guilt was connected to his fears, but it sounded as though he’d figured out exactly what had been holding him back from living his life all these years, and she was happy for him.
She knew how hard it was to let go of the fear and the guilt, and how freeing it was when you did. She was happy he’d found a way to push past it, and that he’d done it for himself. The same as she’d changed for herself.
“But I want to feel like I have a home to go to, not just a place to live. I want to have someone waiting to hear about my day, to laugh with me and put me in my place when I’m being a dick. I want someone who wants to be with me for me, and someone I can love and count on.”
“Have you found that person?” she asked quietly, barely managing to breathe as she stared at him.
He paused and then reached across the table and gently took her hand. “I think so,” he said softly. “Have you found your person?”
“I hope so,” she said in a slightly breathy voice as she squeezed his hand.
“Are you scared?”
“Terrified.” She nodded. “You?”
“Oh yeah.” He nodded.
“So what does that mean for right now?” she asked quietly.
“I can’t promise I won’t say stupid things. I might act like an ass sometimes and I’m far from perfect, but I want to be better, Kenzie.” He squeezed her hand and looked right at her. “I want to be better for you.”
“I’m not perfect either, Tyler. I can be impossible. I overthink things, and I sometimes say and do the wrong things, but I’m trying to be better. I want to be better.”
“Maybe we could try to be better together?” he asked as he squeezed her hand.
“How? What do you want?” She needed to hear him say he only wanted to be with her. She needed to hear him say that he wanted a relationship.
“I feel like I’m back in high school, but do you want to go out with me?”
“Just you and me?” She needed to make sure he meant monogamy. She’d told Melissa she could handle casual, but she’d been lying to herself. She couldn’t be with him unless he was fully with her. She couldn’t let herself be hurt like that again. It would have to be all or nothing.
“Yes, Kenzie, just you and me. No one else.”
“Yes. I would love that.”
He just let out a breath and gave her hand another squeeze.
At that moment she felt as though she was flying. Tyler wanted to be with her, and he wanted what she did. She almost didn’t believe it, but by the look on his face he was just as happy as she was.
He was just opening his mouth to say something when their waitress came by with extra plates and broke the spell between them.
They fell into comfortable conversation. He told her all about his school and his training and she told him about her work and about her new friendships. He told her about his family and warned her how she would have to meet them soon and that his mother and his sister were busybodies, and she’d just laughed and told him she was looking forward to meeting all of them.
When the meal was done he insisted on paying. She’d offered to pick up the check because she knew he wasn’t being paid while he was in school, but he’d just brushed her offer off. He’d said he wanted to treat her, and she was really moved by the gesture.
When they left the restaurant they were both feeling a little full so they went for a walk, enjoying the beautiful evening and wandering around the small district as they people watched. When he slipped her hand into his and held it tightly as they walked, she could only smile and hold on.
“Wow,” she said as she glanced over to the left side of the street and stopped. “I didn’t realize we were so close.”
He looked over and paused when he saw what she was looking at. It was the convenience store where the robbery had taken place.
“I didn’t either,” he said as he stood with her and stared at the small gas station.
There were two cars at the pumps and one car in the side lot. It looked exactly the same as it had the night of the robbery.
It was hard to believe that was the place that had catapulted everything. That one night in that store was the reason they were standing there together, and was probably the root of both of them getting their lives together. Without that night they never would have had a reason to change, and they would probably still be the same lost souls just barely hanging on.
“Did you ever find out what happened to the clerk, and the old man and kid?” he asked as he turned to look at her. “I never bothered to look it up. Shows how fucked up I am.”
“Not fucked up.” She smiled and squeezed his hand. “You had your own stuff going on.”
“Yeah, but I still should have cared.”
“It was a way to forget.” She shrugged. “It doesn’t make you a bad person.”
“Maybe not, but I still feel like an ass.”
“The clerk pulled through. There was some nerve damage, but with therapy they said he should be fine. He was brought to my hospital,” she added. “It was easy for me to look him up.”
“The others?”
“I have no idea about the kid, he didn’t seek medical treatment as far as I know so other than being traumatized I hope he’s fine. The elderly man and his wife are okay too, they brought them to the ER after and I looked up the file. Both were released with no issues.”
“That’s good. I’m kind of shocked they never caught the guy,” he said as he nodded slowly.
“Hopefully they do.” She sighed. “And hopefully it’s before he hurts someone else,” she added.
“It’s crazy to think how such a random thing changed everything,” he said thoughtfully.
“What do you mean?” It was exactly what she’d been thinking, but she wanted to know if he was on the same page as her.
“A guy goes to rob a store and we both happen to be in it. That one moment was the reason we met.”
“That’s true.” She nodded. “If you hadn’t been hurt then I never would have helped you. We would have gone our separate ways and none of this would have happened.”
“It was fucked up and it could have been the worst night of our lives, but it forced me to change, to get my act together and to figure out how to deal,” he said as he looked back at the store.
“Me too.” She nodded. “It could have been so much worse, but if it had never happened then I would still be that same woman I was that night, and I don’t ever want to be her again.”
“Who would have thought?” he mused. “I’d walk into a robbery and walk out in love.”
“What?” She gripped his hand and stared at him. “Tyler?”
He turned to look at her.
“I love you, Kenzie,” he said as he took her other hand in his. “I didn’t plan on telling you just now or like this, but I love you,” he repeated.
“I love you too,” she said as she squeezed his hands. “I never thought you would feel the same way.”
“Guess we should probably tell each other this kind of thing instead of just assuming,” he said with a grin and she giggled.
“I agree.” She nodded and gave him a smile.
He leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss before letting go of one of her hands to lead her away from the store and back toward the restaurant and her car.
She felt like she was floating. She was in love, and the man she was in love with loved her.
For the first time in her life she was happy, truly happy, and she was comfortable with herself. She was okay with her imperfections and she didn’t see them as flaws so much anymore, more as things that made her who she was.
Who would have guessed it would take an armed robbery and meeting an undeniably handsome, but equally damaged stranger to help her see that she no longer had to be the person she’d held onto for so long. She no longer had to be the scared woman who tried to be invisible and did everything she could to make sure she was alone.
; She could let go of that person and be the woman she was meant to be. She was meant to be happy, and she was meant to find love. Being in that store at that moment might have been the wrong place, but it had been the right time.
Dear Reader,
I want to thank you for taking the time to read this book and to give you a little backstory as to why I wrote it.
I joined the military when I was twenty-four and served for five years. In that time I saw friends and colleagues being sent to fight a war that some weren’t prepared for and while many came back whole and at peace, too many came home broken and haunted.
Beyond the physical scars and injuries that can occur in a combat setting, there is also the emotional trauma that can sometimes be hidden by an untouched body and a strong will. PTSD is a very real psychological injury that affects not only service members, but also first responders and victims of abuse, among many others and it hits without warning.
While it is becoming more and more acceptable for those suffering to seek help, there is still a stigma attached to admitting one is struggling. PTSD can affect anyone and it manifests in a myriad of ways. It can be triggered by the most innocuous or obvious things and there is no one-size-fits-all treatment. No two people suffer the same and it can affect every aspect of someone’s life.
A lot of those suffering isolate themselves. Some try to deal with their trauma and others try and hide it. Self-medicating is a dangerous coping mechanism and alcohol and drug addictions are frighteningly common in sufferers. It is thought that up to ten percent of the homeless population in the USA are veterans and suicides rates are at crisis level.
Twenty or more veterans commit suicide every single day in the USA. That’s almost one an hour. In the time it would take you to read this book at least two more lives will have been lost to this epidemic.
In Canada the numbers are lower simply because of the difference in population density and the number of personnel in the military, as well as the types of conflict the two countries have been involved in. However, the numbers north of the border are also terrifyingly high. Substance abuse, homelessness and suicide rates are skyrocketing and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.
The breakdown of families is also common and divorce among sufferers is also on the rise. This breakdown is one of the worst things that can happen to someone who is suffering, but families can’t help their loved ones without support from the rest of us.
For this reason, a portion of all sales for this novel will be donated to a charity that helps veterans and their families.
If you or someone you know is suffering, please reach out to one of the many organizations out there for help. Every life is precious, every person matters. They made the ultimate sacrifice for us. Now it is our turn to try and help them find peace.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to all the men and women who have put on the uniform and served their country. It is also for every person who has ever been the victim of abuse. Your battles may not be the same, but I stand with and for all of you.
Acknowledgments
This book would not have been possible without the help of my critique partner (and bff/partner in crime) Tiffany. Also, my sisters from other misters: Erica, Jen, Angeline, and Jacey.
Thanks to my editor Megan, and a special thank you to my awesome beta readers: Angeline, Ashley, Erica, Liz, Sabrina, Christine, Melissa, Krystal, Amanda, Brittani, Marie-Lucie, Sarah, Tasha, Amanda, Tricia and Lora.
Special Thanks to R.L. Weeks at Creative Covers and Author Services for the amazing cover art and formatting, also to Kerri Roth for helping guide me through the jungle that is marketing.
Last, but never least, thank you to my family.
Thank you J, D, and L, and Mom and Dad for always believing in me and helping me find the light when I felt there was only darkness.
About the Author
A.T. Brennan, a native of Ottawa, Canada, enjoys picking up and moving every few years. A former member of the Canadian Armed Forces and current entrepreneur and author, she enjoys spending her days working on her many projects and her nights writing and not getting enough sleep. She currently lives on Canada’s East Coast with her family and enjoys collecting books and exploring the different aspects of romance in her works. A.T. also publishes erotica under the name Mandie Mills.
Visit her online at mandiemillsauthor.com
Or On Facebook at @ATBrennanAuthor
Coming Soon/Now Available
Seasons
~ A four-part novella series~
Now Available
Book 1 ~ Spring Passion
Book 2 ~ Summer Heat
Book 3 ~ Autumn Lust
Book 4 ~ Winter Connection
Wrong Place, Right Time
Solitary Soldiers Book One
Now Available
The Way We Were
Solitary Soldiers Book Two
Coming Spring 2017
Haunted
Solitary Soldiers Book Three
Coming Summer 2017
Table of Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Acknowledgments
Coming Soon/Now Available