But there was more to it, she was sure, and she felt bereft when she realized that, by necessity, they would not meet for their few minutes every day. In truth, they might never meet again, and she could hardly think of it without that old familiar feeling of loss.
How could life be so full of loss so early on?
She had tried her hardest not to cry immediately in front of Lady Hanbury for she would never have wanted that dear woman to think that she truly was harbouring an adulteress after all. But, a mixture of her loss and Lady Hanbury’s kindness very quickly reduced her to tears, and she found herself hurrying to explain.
“Lady Hanbury, you must not think that it is true. Mr Winchester has been very kind to me for as long as I have been at Lytton Hall, but it was no more than kindness. There is no truth to Nella West’s insinuations or my husband’s current belief, really there is not.”
“Although I have been in your husband’s company but rarely, my dear, it was certainly long enough for me to realize what an irrational, boorish creature he is. And I can assure you that I would not take any assertion of his, whatever it might be, to be the truth.” She paused long enough to smile and hand Eliza a clean handkerchief. “Even if the dreadful man told me that the sky was blue, I should never believe him, so you need not fear that I will ever lend any credence to such an accusation.”
Lady Hanbury had spent the rest of the day consoling her and trying to take her mind off thoughts of the future. Lord Hanbury, although a quiet man, had certainly not hidden away from the distraught woman, seeing to it that endless trays of tea were sent for to keep his wife and her guest well looked after.
After refusing any idea of dinner, Eliza had been shown up to her chamber early and Lady Hanbury personally provided her with a white nightgown and the assistance she needed to get herself changed for bed.
Her kindness reduced Eliza to tears once more, reminding her of the wonderful closeness that had once existed between her and her mother in the days before her life had been irreparably changed. How she wished that none of it had ever happened. How she wished she had never been married away, had never lost Miles, had never found herself in the awful position of preparing to defend an honour which should never have been called into question in the first place.
But she could not escape the idea that had none of it happened, she would never have met Daniel Winchester. Even now, she knew that such thoughts would do her no good. She was not a free woman, even if her husband turned his back upon her. Even then she would not be free to give her heart to anybody else, for it simply could not be done. She was married, and she always would be. Even if she was alone and penniless, she knew she could not let go of that old, deeply engrained principle.
And she could never expect such a thing of Daniel. He had already lost the larger part of his business that day purely and simply because he had stood up for her. He had protected her, and in doing so, had lost so much.
If the county came to believe the lies, he might even stand to lose more. At least in the beginning, at any rate, nobody would be queueing up to secure the services of an attorney who was being so roundly berated by none other than the Duke of Lytton.
And to expect him to take her on, to look after her in any way, shape, or form, now that the thing was done, would be the ruin of him, and Eliza knew that she owed him too much. She could never expect it of him, and she would never, ever ask him to make her his own responsibility, even though she had finally seen his deeper feelings for her and had heard his refusal to declare he did not want her.
“You must not upset yourself again, my dear,” Lady Hanbury said gently a she perched herself on the edge of the bed, bringing Eliza back into the here and now. “And I can tell just by looking at you that you have had no more than an hour’s worth of sleep. Perhaps you could try again? Just close your eyes and see if you could drift?”
“I have tried and tried to sleep, Lady Hanbury, but my worries have truly caught up with me,” she said and thought for a moment of that curious exhilaration as she and Daniel had raced along, his strong arms around her as she felt the wind in her hair and experienced the sort of momentary freedom she had never expected to feel. “I was so relieved to escape my husband, fearing the worst, fearing that he would hurt me or even kill me, Lady Hanbury. But now my worries poke and prod me to such an extent that I am beginning to wish that I had simply remained there and accepted whatever punishment Augustus chose to bestow.”
“My dear, you cannot mean it. You cannot wish yourself so harmed.”
“But at least it would be over, one way or another. Perhaps he would have done enough to get the whole thing out of his system, to satisfy himself that he had taken his revenge without the necessity of ruining the rest of my life. For what life can I expect to live now? I will not be welcome in any house in the county; nobody will want my society again. And for what? For simply finding myself so isolated that I made a friend of a kind man?”
“Whatever happens in the future, Eliza, you will not be alone. Lord Hanbury and I are not people to be bullied, not by society’s little expectations, and certainly not a drunken brute of the Duke. I can promise you now quite faithfully, my dear, that it will be nothing to us to stand firm against such things. You will remain here at Hanbury Hall forevermore if that is what it takes to keep you safe and housed and fed. Whatever else you have to worry about in this life, whatever insults might be levelled at you or injustices thrown at your feet, at least you need not worry about keeping body and soul together. You can leave that to me, can you not?” Lady Hanbury reached out and gently touched her cheek.
Eliza realized that she had truly found another fine friend in Lady Hanbury and felt her emotions swaying once more as gratitude enveloped her in a warm embrace. She knew, of course, that her fear would be back in no time, but for the moment, she had Lady Hanbury’s kindness and the safety of knowing that she at least had somewhere to live if the worst came to the worst.
“I do not know how to … I really cannot tell you how much I … Oh, Lady Hanbury, I …” Eliza said before reaching for her handkerchief and weeping into it.
“I know, my dear, too much has happened to you of late, too much that ought not to be. And if anybody is to blame for all of it, it is the Duke himself. These ridiculous men and their idea that they might take any young woman they choose. It is archaic and a disgrace in this day and age, and yet I am certain that such a thing will persist in perpetuity. But it is their vanity that is perhaps the most unforgivable, the idea that they might allow their rage and ego to take over at the first sign that the unwilling wife does not truly want them. That is at the root of all of this, Eliza,” Lady Hanbury said, and Eliza found herself relieved, grateful even, for the humanizing use of her Christian name. “As with so much that goes wrong in this world, the pride of man is at its root.”
“You are very sensible, Lady Hanbury, very wise.” Eliza sniffed and gently dabbed the red raw skin around her eyes. “Mr Winchester is the same; he sees things just as they are. He sees that Augustus is determined to believe some wrongdoing on my part so that he does not have to contemplate his own failures. As you know he blamed me for, well, you were at the dinner and you saw it all with your own eyes and heard it all with your own ears. But he was blaming me for his own failures, and now he has gone too far to let himself go back. He cannot now apologize for all that has happened, for it is too late. I am sure now that he has reached a point where he must believe in the position with which he has identified; otherwise, he is admitting defeat entirely, and Augustus would never do that.”
“Mr Winchester is a very sensible man indeed, and I am grateful to that young man for having the courage to step in where other men would not have dared to. How glad I am that he brought you to me safe and in one complete piece, my dear. He is to be congratulated; he is to be applauded. Such courage does not come along every day.”
“Indeed, it does not.”
“Well, if you do not have a mind to sleep, then at least
you must eat something,” Lady Hanbury said and was suddenly all business. “I will have a jug and bowl sent up to you. I am sure you will feel a little better for putting yourself to rights and being up and about again. What do you say?”
“Yes, I think you are quite right. I would do myself no good to lay here in self-pity. And you have been so kind to me, I rather think that I could eat something now.”
“Now that is wonderful news, my dear,” Lady Hanbury said and rose, gently kissing the top of Eliza’s head before she left the room to make the arrangements.
Lady Hanbury had been right. Eliza really did feel better for getting washed and dressed and making her way down to the dining room for breakfast. She could already smell such wonderful aromas as she descended the stairs that her stomach began to roll. She realized that she had not eaten a thing since the breakfast she had taken the previous morning, just before she had met with Daniel in the library and all hell had finally broken loose.
“Come in, my dear, and help yourself. We have it all laid out on the side table, and there is plenty of it, so no standing on ceremony,” Lord Hanbury said in such a bright manner that Eliza could not help being lifted by it.
As she helped herself to bacon, kidneys, and a thick slice of pound cake, she realized that, despite it all, she still had a good deal to be grateful for. Life had certainly not turned out the way she had planned, but the last day could have gone so much worse for her had she not had the good fortune to meet Lord and Lady Hanbury at her most disastrous dinner.
How strange it seemed that had her husband not humiliated her so publicly, Lady Hanbury might never have been moved to write her such a letter and to be ready to receive her in any crisis. What a curious thing the world was, how interwoven all of life’s twists and turns.
As Eliza settled down, she realized that some of life’s saving graces could never occur without its dreadful misfortunes. It perplexed her for a moment, and she could hardly work out if that was a good thing or not.
“Let me pour you a little tea, my dear,” Lady Hanbury said, smiling to see Eliza tucking into her breakfast.
At that moment, there was a knock at the dining room door, and Lord Hanbury’s butler walked in.
“Forgive me, My Lord, but you have a visitor.”
“Good heavens, but it is early,” Lord Hanbury said and laughed as he reached into his waistcoat pocket and withdrew his watch. “I hope whoever it is does not expect breakfast.” He laughed again.
“Oh, my goodness,” Eliza said suddenly, thinking it must surely be Augustus. “Oh, my goodness,” she said again.
“Have no fear, Eliza. You are safe here,” Lady Hanbury said with the sort of calm that Daniel always displayed as she reached out and laid a hand on Eliza’s own.
“Who is it, by the way?” Lord Hanbury put down his knife and fork.
“It is Mr Daniel Winchester, My Lord. He extends his apologies but says that it is urgent.”
“Oh yes indeed, please do show him in,” Lord Hanbury said and cast a look at both Eliza and his wife.
“I wonder what it could be. I wonder what is so urgent,” Eliza said, already panicking before she knew what was to come.
“Mr Daniel Winchester, My Lord,” the butler said, returning in no time with their visitor.
“Do come in, Mr Winchester, take a seat,” Lord Hanbury said with such warm politeness that Eliza thought she liked him almost as much as she liked his wife. “Have you had any breakfast yet, Sir?”
“I have not, Lord Hanbury, but I am afraid I have some rather grave news,” he said and looked for all the world as if he could not manage a single bite.
“Dear me, whatever is it?” Lord Hanbury went on.
“I have just received word this morning,” he said and paused for a moment before turning his eyes upon Eliza. “Forgive me, Your Grace, but I have just received word this morning that the Duke of Lytton is dead.”
Chapter 25
With her austere black gown and cloak, Eliza felt as if she were somehow trapped inside a dark prison from which she could not escape.
The last few days had seemed like a dream, everything was so unreal. Even on the day of Augustus’ funeral, the light was of that strange quality which seemed only to exist in the subconscious.
Eliza had not spoken a word during the church service, feeling alone in the family pew even though she stood at the side of Dixon Musgrave, the new Duke of Lytton, and his wife, Cecile.
But they had only met just two days beforehand, and she most certainly did not yet consider them to be family. The truth of it was, she very likely would never consider them to be family, even though, thus far, they appeared to be rather pleasant.
But it was also true to say that Dixon Musgrave, a man Augustus had never wanted to inherit the Duchy, was finding it very hard to conceal his pleasure at such a sudden and fast inheritance, not to mention his new title.
Given that his minor title was simply Baron, his new-found status as a Duke was something which gave him a glow that could not be disguised, even at the funeral of the man who had had to die for him to inherit.
Eliza had kept her eyes to the front throughout the service, and having been amongst the first to arrive, she did not realize the presence of her family until the mourners, preceded by the pallbearers, began to make their way out to the graveyard for the body of Augustus Tate, fourth Duke of Lytton, to be committed to the ground.
It was her mother she saw first, her eyes flying to her immediately. Although her mother had been walking away from her towards the great, black hole in the earth into which Augustus would soon be laid, Eliza had recognized her immediately.
And more than recognizing that her mother was there, she felt it. It was a most curious sensation of sudden fear and disquiet, and conversely, relief. For a moment, she wanted to run into her mother’s arms and cling to her, although a few deep breaths and a gentle reminder of how it was Eliza came to be there in the first place was enough to divest her of such a notion.
Eliza was aware also of her father and brother, although she did not see her father’s face until they were all around the graveside. It was only then that she realized the great change in him, how much it was he seemed to have aged.
He still looked tall and slim and fit, but his greying hair looked greyer still, and his face was more drawn and lined than she ever remembered it being before. She could hardly believe that it had only been a year since she had last seen him, he had changed so much.
As the Reverend began to give his last words on the life of the man who had caused Eliza so much fear and concern, she was unable to concentrate fully.
She stood flanked by the new Duke and Duchess of Lytton as if they had decided that they would come on that day and at least protect her. But she wondered what life would be like from that moment onward. She would be moving immediately into the Dower House, of that she had no doubt. But just how much the new Duke and Duchess might influence her day-to-day life, she could not even begin to guess.
At that moment, she had the greatest hope that she would see very little of them. She was not a family member, nor the mother of the current Duke as most Dowager Duchesses were, and so she could only imagine that her visits to the main hall would be very few and far between, all based upon invitation only.
The idea of it gave her a sense of relief, for she had truly had enough of being at the mercy of an entitled Duke. Life in the Dower House would, surely, be a time of peace for her.
But at only just twenty, she wondered how long such peace would be welcome. These were, of course, thoughts for another day. And yet she could not keep her mind on the final moments of her husband’s burial service at all.
She only looked occasionally at the coffin as the thought that her husband’s lifeless body lay in it, just feet from her, was too much to contemplate. She was both afraid and made guilty all at once, even though she knew in her heart that she had not caused her husband’s death.
There was only one person wit
h whom that dubious achievement lay, and that was Nella West. And since Eliza had continued to stay with Lord and Lady Hanbury in the days which followed Augustus’ sudden demise, she had no idea how the situation now sat.
Was Nella West now the personal maid to Cecile Musgrave? And if so, would spite lead her to one day tell her new mistress of her former suspicions of her old mistress?
Eliza shuddered visibly, and Cecile Musgrave gently lay a hand on her arm. It was a kind act, but one that would have been better coming from somebody Eliza knew well and cared about.
She allowed her eyes to stray to the other mourners, searching for any sign of Daniel. He was some rows back from the graveside directly opposite her, and when Eliza finally found him, she could see that he was already studying her intently.
Eliza wanted to smile at him, to acknowledge him in some way, but she was just too terrified. She had not seen Daniel since the morning he had arrived in the breakfast room of Hanbury Hall to inform her that her husband had died.
For the Love of a Duchess: A Historical Regency Romance Book Page 19