by Stacey Lewis
I nod. “It is. That’s why I don’t want a relationship with anyone. I want to finish college and travel, the way she wasn’t able to, before I settle down with someone.”
Fallon pulls back to look at me. “You know that just because your dad was a dick that not every guy is. You can have all your dreams and have someone that loves you too.”
I’m shaking my head before she even finishes talking. “I don’t want to take that chance.” I don’t add that I may not have a choice, because while I like her a lot, we are not that close.
She looks sad but doesn’t argue with me. Instead, I watch as she signals for the waitress and pays for our lunch. Having someone to talk to that isn’t Gabby or Marie is a good thing, and I’m glad I came out with her. Knowing I have a friend at work is comforting, and I hope that maybe she can help me when it comes to Ryker and telling him who I really am someday.
Chapter Twelve
Ryker
It’s been three days since Fallon took Ava to lunch at my request, and I think things between us have only deteriorated more. She’s come into my office three times this morning, but each time it’s been conveniently when I’m on the phone or someone else is in here so I can’t talk to her the way I want to. I decide that, that ends now.
Pushing the intercom button on my phone, I say her name and watch her jump at her desk. I smile even, loving the reaction she gives me.
“Yes?” she asks cautiously.
“Can you come to my office please?”
I have to work hard to keep my growing temper calm when she says, “I’m a little busy right now. Can it wait?” Like I didn’t just see her sitting at her desk surfing the internet while resting her chin in her palm. I roll my eyes. That shit ain’t working today, sweetheart.
“Ava,” I growl her name, and she turns to face me with wide, frightened eyes. Knowing I scare her makes me want to throw shit, and I almost sigh in relief when she nods.
My eyes don’t leave her as she stands, brushing her hands down her skirt and straightening her already perfect shirt. I swear, I think she wears these outfits solely to torture me. Today’s skirt is tight, coming almost all the way down to her knees, which means it’s showing nothing, but highlighting everything.
I love it and hate it equally. Her white button-down shirt is almost sheer, and I can see the outline of her bra when she walks toward me, her hips swaying in her entirely too-high heels. She enters the office much like she did the day I met her: on wobbly legs. Her face is masked of nearly all emotion, and I wonder what made her have such an emotional change the other day.
“Are you feeling better?” I ask, genuinely concerned for her well-being. She looks less pale today, and her eyes seems darker, more brown than gold.
She nods her head. “Yes. I think I just had a twenty-four-hour bug. Is that all you called me in here for?”
The tone of her voice ignites something inside me. I don’t want to hurt her or startle her, but I have to stop the maddening worrying that rages to the surface every time she is around.
“I wanted to know if everything is still okay between us.” I hate even having to ask, but she’s giving me so many mixed signals, I have no choice. The person she was just a few days ago is gone, and now she’s acting like we’re strangers.
Ava crosses her arms over her chest protectively before answering. “We’re fine.” Her tone brooks no argument, and I’m left wondering what to say to her next. The fact that she’s so standoffish, so immune to me now, just makes me want to ruffle her feathers more. I want her to have some type of reaction to me, even if it’s her smacking me again.
Like she knows the thoughts going through my head, she backs away from my desk. “If that’s all, I have work I should be doing.”
I want to call her out on her bullshit so bad, but at the same time I’m worried I’m going to push her further away if I keep antagonizing her, so I let her leave without complaint.
I sigh, sinking into my chair and running my hands through my hair. Dinner at Reed’s is going to be interesting tonight. Fallon needs to tell me what they talked about at lunch, instead of telling me to “give her time” and “let her see she can trust me.” Giving her time clearly isn’t working, and with the way she’s avoiding me, there’s no way I can show her it’s safe to trust me.
When I walk into the house Reed and Fallon just recently moved into, I can see Fallon in the kitchen making dinner and dancing around as she does. Seeing her be so happy makes me smile, because it wasn’t that long ago that she and my brother were both miserable. I’m glad they got their shit together before everything between them had the chance to be ruined.
Reed’s sitting on the couch in the living room when I walk in, not even hearing the door shut when I come in. I walk in to join him and see he’s watching some sports shit I don’t care about. I don’t care which football team is favored to win this weekend, nor do I care what player is doing who. I get enough gossip and drama being on the same floor as Andi every damn day.
He finally looks over when I sit down beside him. “Hey, bro,” he greets me. “How are things in the finance department?” He asks the question as if he doesn’t know exactly what’s going on in every department and on every floor.
I shrug. “You probably know better than I do.”
Laughing, he agrees. “That’s probably true, but then again, some of us actually come to work to do our jobs…not chase pussy that doesn’t want us.”
“Reed Alan Winston!” We both turn to see Fallon standing at the edge of the room with her hands on her hips, glaring down at us.
Trying to placate her, he immediately stands and goes over to her, holding out his arms like he’s going to wrap them around her, but she sidesteps him. “I don’t think so. Please tell me I did not just hear you refer to women as ‘pussy.’”
“Baby,” he starts, his voice cajoling, but she’s having none of it. He tries once again to embrace her, but she pushes him away with a huff. “I wasn’t saying I see women that way. You know I don’t see any woman but you.” Fallon rolls her eyes at his obvious lie but doesn’t say anything. “I was just speaking to Ryker in a language he would understand.”
What the fuck? My own brother is throwing me under the bus so his fiancée won’t be pissed at him. The worst part? It fucking works! As soon as he says that, all the anger drains out of Fallon’s body and she relaxes into him. I know I’m staring at them with my mouth open in shock, but I have no idea what to say.
“You’re both jerks,” she finally says, pulling out of his arms and looking between us. “I shouldn’t feed you, but I know you’ll both pout if I don’t, so come sit down.”
Reed hurries to help her into her seat before taking his own. She’s been trying all sorts of recipes since they moved in three weeks ago, and according to Reed, everything she touches is delicious, so I’m looking forward to trying whatever it is she’s made. When I asked him what we were having, he just told me I’d have to wait and see.
Once our plates are full with the mouth-watering smelling meatloaf and creamy mashed potatoes, I pin Fallon with my stare. “What the hell happened between you and Ava at lunch? I thought you said things went well.”
She looks taken aback, but answers, her voice clear and honest. “It did go well. What are you talking about? You act like I did something wrong.”
I set down my silverware with a sigh and explain. “She won’t talk to me. I swear, it’s like she’s still pissed about the stupid things I said, even though I apologized and she said she forgave me. I don’t know how to make her talk to me or how to make things less frigid at work. I’m hesitant to even call her into my office because she acts like she’s about to be a human sacrifice every time I do.”
Snickers from Reed’s seat make me want to stab him in the eye with my fork.
“What are you over there laughing about?” I growl.
He grins. “I’m just glad you’re getting a taste of what I went through with Fallon.”
&n
bsp; “Reed…” Fallon starts to chastise him, but he waves her off.
“No, you know good and well he enjoyed watching me suffer when we were trying to figure out what was going on between us. It’s only fair he gets it ten times worse now that he’s found someone he’s interested in.” His attention turns back to me, and he asks, “Not so funny now, huh?” There’s a cocky grin on his face, and the idea of stabbing him in the eye with that fork starts to look a lot better.
Fallon scoffs at his stupidity. “You’re both idiots,” she tells him before turning to me. “Look, Ava has some issues with trust and with men. The idiot move you pulled that day? That made it so much harder for her to trust you now.”
“What happened to her?” I’m instantly concerned, wanting to beat the shit out of whoever hurt her. No man should lay hands on a woman, no matter how angry they are.
Shaking her head, Fallon tries to diffuse my sudden anger. “That’s not my story to tell. When she trusts you, and she will, she’ll tell you herself. She deserves to be the one to tell you her story. It shouldn’t come from me. Just…” She pauses to collect her thoughts. “Just show her that you are trustworthy, despite your idiot actions before. She needs you to be her friend right now, not the guy trying to get into her panties.”
Reed is nodding along like he agrees, and when he opens his mouth, my need to punch someone turns to wanting to punch him instead. “Fallon’s right.” I start to protest, but he cuts me off. “No, seriously. I get it, truly I do. You want to fix whatever has hurt her and you want everything to be worked out immediately. That’s not real life though. You did a shitty thing, and now you’re having to face the consequences. I know exactly how you feel, because I was there with Fallon not that long ago.”
I roll my eyes at his logic. His situation with Fallon was nothing like what I’m going through with Ava. Fallon has known him forever, so forgiving his stupidity was a lot easier for her. The only thing Ava has to go on about me are the things I’ve said and done around her, which make me look like the world's biggest ass. I just hope I haven’t complete screwed everything up with her.
I leave Reed and Fallon’s not long after we finish eating. So many thoughts are going through my head, and I don’t know where to go next. I’m still obsessing over it when I shuck my clothes and climb into bed, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that I dream of Ava.
When the dream starts, we are in my office the day I acted like a complete asshole, only, instead of pushing me away and slapping me, Ava presses her body closer and lets me kiss her.
Devouring her mouth with mine, I run my hands up and down her body, caressing every part of her I can reach without breaking our kiss. She tastes so good, a hint of spearmint on her tongue mixing with her own unique flavor. I want more and more of her.
The scene shifts, and suddenly I’m back in that hotel room with my mystery girl. She’s pinned beneath me and my mouth is between her legs. The memory of her pussy makes my mouth water. I love the sounds she’s making, her moans and gasps spurring me on and telling me what she likes the most.
I slide two fingers inside her, curling them up so I can hit her G-spot, and the moment I touch it, she screams my name. My body jerks away from hers in shock, and when I look up at her face, it’s not my mystery girl at all… It’s…it’s… Ava.
Chapter Thirteen
Ava
Staring at the bottom of the toilet isn’t what I wanted to be doing this morning, but my stomach had other plans. Trying to calm the waves of nausea that keep slamming into me, I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth again and again until the feeling recedes.
The sound of the door opening and closing causes the hair on my arms to stand up. Panic fills me as I flush the toilet and open the stall door.
Andi’s staring at herself in the mirror, applying what looks to be her twentieth layer of lip gloss today. She doesn’t seem to notice me, and I’m okay with that. I don’t need any rumors or drama started. I just want to come to work, get a check, and go home.
“You look really green, and like…” She gazes at me in the mirror, her eyes most definitely judging me as they roam over my body.
“Bloated. Yeah, definitely bloated. Is there something you want to share with everyone?” The smile that pulls at her lips is menacing, and lucky for her I don’t have it in me to argue. I only shake my head and grab a couple paper towels, wetting them and pressing them against my warm cheeks. Andi suspecting and telling everyone I’m pregnant is the worst thing that can happen. I still haven’t gotten up the nerve to tell Ryker who I am, and if she tells the company I’m pregnant before I do, well, I’m not sure he’ll believe me when I finally do it.
When I get back to my desk, I pull up my period tracker app and stare down at it. It’s not like the dates are going to suddenly change. I’m clearly more than two weeks late, and the truth of my situation is starting to sink in. This isn’t just stress. It can’t be.
I can’t believe I’m finding myself in almost the same situation as my mom, even after doing everything I could to prevent it. Leave it me to make a stupid decision while drunk and not even make sure the jerk who took my virginity used a condom.
My head is in my hands and I’m doing everything I can to keep from crying when a warm hand lands on my shoulder, causing goose bumps to pop up all over my body. The scent of his cologne fills the space around us, so I know it’s Ryker before he even says my name.
Turning slowly, I look up at him, and the soft, concerned look in his eyes almost makes me cry. My emotions are so close to the surface right now. I hate feeling this way—vulnerable, and open, as if I could spill the secret of who I am to him at any second.
His eyes search my face before focusing in on my shaking hands. “What’s wrong?” The edge to his voice tells me he’s worried.
I start to shake my head, but he cuts me off. “Something is going on with you, so don’t tell me it’s nothing. I’m not stupid.” The anger in his voice makes me flinch, but there’s no way I can tell him the truth right now. I just have to push the emotions down. I have to build up my walls. I mantra all of this to myself before answering him.
“Just having a bad day. Did you need something?” I lie, blinking away any unshed tears.
Ryker’s face falls a little when I don’t give him an answer, but he doesn’t call me out on it again. Looking down at the screen on his phone, he sighs. “Reed’s called a meeting that starts in less than five minutes. I need you to be there and take notes, so I can’t do anything about you avoiding talking to me right now. Trust me, though, we will be talking after.”
He turns away from me, not waiting for me to come with him to the meeting, even though he didn’t bother to tell me where the thing is. I grab a notebook and hurry after him, and when we step into the elevator together, he stands on the opposite side from me, putting as much space between us as he can. The distance leaves me cold and craving his touch. When we reach the floor, he rushes from the elevator before I can even say anything to him, and I’m forced to jog behind him to keep up. I want to tell him to slow down, but as I’m about to, he comes to a stop right outside the door.
Walking into the conference room, I watch as Ryker picks a seat between two other people, making it impossible for me to sit close to him. The way he’s acting right now ticks me off. I’m allowed to keeps parts of my life private. I’m not required to tell him anything, and him pouting because I’m not is a serious turnoff. Sometimes, I swear he’s got multiple personalities.
There’s the guy from the bar, the slightly drunk, sad one. Then, there’s the jackass who propositioned me in his office and deserved every bit of the slap I gave him. The guy he is when he’s with his brother is probably one of my favorites. With them, he’s playful and sarcastic. I can see the bond between the three men, and I’m glad he has that.
God only knows how different I’d be if I had a bond with someone like that.
Before I can think too much more on Ryker and his mult
iple personalities, Reed walks in the door, followed by Fallon, and calls everyone to attention. I quickly find a seat, and when I look up, I find Ryker staring at me intently. The look in his stormy-blue eyes is so heated, I squirm in my chair. I regret doing so when one side of his mouth tips up in a smirk.
That asshole. He knows the power he has over my body and that he could turn me to mush in seconds.
A cough comes from beside him, and we both turn to see Andi. She gives me an evil smile, then turns to Ryker, her hand resting on his forearm and rubbing gently. He gently extricates himself, but not before I see her eyes narrow on him in irritation. My stomach drops when she leans close to him, her mouth just beside his ear.
I can see her mouth moving, and the more she speaks, the more he leans closer so he can hear whatever it is she’s saying. None of us are paying attention to the meeting or what Reed is saying, not until he barks Ryker’s name. Ryker turns away from Andi at the sharp word, looking up at his brother with furrowed brows.
“Are you planning to pay attention to the meeting today? Or are we interrupting your social life?”
The employees in the room all titter in amusement, and I’m a little surprised to see the tips of Andi’s ears turn bright red with embarrassment. Huh. Who knew she could feel any kind of emotion?
Ryker waves off Reed’s words with a smile. “Sorry. Andi was just telling me something important. It couldn’t wait until after the meeting.” He turns back to look at me and there’s a hard look in his eyes that makes my pulse pound in my ears. Is she telling him about my time in the bathroom?