by Stacey Lewis
No one has ever said something like that to me before, and yet I can’t allow myself to get attached to this man, or any man for that matter. I’ve got daddy issues; I know that, and a number of other things going on in my life. Remy doesn’t need that kind of baggage.
“Thanks, but no thanks, Remy. Go back to your perfect little life and leave me alone. I’m not some charity case you can rescue.” I sneer, pulling out of his grasp. I can see my words have hurt him when a sour looks forms on his face, but he doesn’t press the issue. He merely releases my wrist and stands pulling out his wallet and throwing down some money onto the bar.
I swallow around the pain I see in his eyes, and the need to assure him I’ll be okay. Bringing Remy into this mess won’t fix things. It’ll only complicate them further and I have no room in my heart for love right now. Sighing as I watch him walk out of the bar, my body begs me to go to him, but I resist. Grabbing the bottle of whiskey from the bar, I put it back on the shelf, then cash out his order, pocketing the one-hundred-dollar tip he left me.
My heart hammers in my chest. I feel emotionally and physically exhausted. All I want to do is go home, climb in my bed, and sleep this entire mess away.
Maybe when I wake up in the morning this will all be nothing but a dream?
As much as I don’t want to, I head back to Abe’s office so I can get that over with too. He looks up when he sees me standing in the doorway. “I don’t like the way that guy was looking at you, Mel.”
“Enough, Abe.” My eyes roll at his unnecessary anger. “We aren’t dating, and you have no right to tell me who I can and cannot talk to. It’s not like the bar was full of people. I was having a simple conversation with the man. How he looks at me isn’t any of your concern, or even my problem. Stop seeing problems when there aren’t any or I’ll quit. Then you’ll have to find a new bartender.” Without waiting for him to respond, I turn on my heel and head for the back door.
“Where are you going, and who do you think you’re talking to? I’m your boss, in case your forgot!” He exclaimed fiercely, clearly fired up over what I just said to him.
“Me?” I whirled around, done giving a fuck for the evening. “I’m going home. I don’t have to subject myself to this shit. Next time you ask me to work, make sure you can keep yourself in line. I’m not your woman or your girlfriend, Abe, Stop treating me like I am.” And with that, I walk out, sadness filling me to the brim, and when I finally reach my car, I feel tears pricking my eyes.
Damn you, Remy Winston.
Damn you.
His words still linger in my mind as I climb in my car and start the engine to head towards my apartment.
“You know I won’t hurt you…”
My chest constricts and something inside me snaps. Maybe he won’t but that’s not a chance I feel I can take...no matter how good of a man Remy Winston appears to be.
Chapter Eight
Remy
Anger. Frustration. Rage. Yeah, they aren’t things I feel all that often. Normally I’m pretty chill and relaxed, but this shit with Melody has my emotions all over the place. I don’t know what’s up or down. All I want to do is make things easier for her, but she refuses to acknowledge me, or let me help, which pisses me off more than I care to admit.
After sitting on it all night, I decide to go to Fallon in the morning and get the info on Melody. If she doesn’t want to tell me everything maybe Fallon will. I hate knowing Mel is working for that douchebag and there’s nothing I can do about it. I have money, I could get her a job somewhere else. I could help her.
Would she take the offer if I extended it? Probably not. The girl is determined to do all of this on her own, and I can’t really blame her after hearing about what her father did. I can’t imagine having someone who is supposed to look out for me betray me that way, but then again, I guess I can, considering my father was far from perfect.
The elevator is taking too long to come back down to the lobby, so I change direction, taking the stairs two at a time in my haste to get to Fallon. When I make it to his floor I’m greeted by a number of employees. They all smile, watching curiously as I head for my brother’s office, though it’s not him that I’m after, it’s his wife. When I see the replacement sitting at Fallon’s desk filing her nails it hits me that Fallon is still on maternity leave and if I want to get the answers I seek then I’ll need to skip out on a day’s work to go and pay her a visit. Considering I was just at their house, I should’ve known that. My head is just all over the place trying to figure out how to best help Melody.
When the replacement, whose name I cannot for the life of me remember, notices me standing there, she perks up, eyes going wide in recognition. “Can... Can I help you?”
“Uhh… yeah.” I forcibly shake myself out of my thoughts and focus on her. “Let Reed know I’ll be gone from my office today, will you?”
She nods, eyes glazing over like she’s in some kind of trance. I should be used to women looking at me the way she is, but the only woman I want to be in a trance and completely at my mercy is the one woman who will never give me a chance. “Of course, Mr. Winston.” As soon as I’m sure she’ll tell him, I’m rushing back down the stairs, not stopping until I reach the parking garage.
I make the short trip from the office to Reed and Fallon’s place in no time. Once the car is in park, I try to calm myself down, so I don’t freak out my soon-to-be sister-in-law. I’m going to have to go into this carefully. Fallon won’t be expecting my questions, and it’s quite possible she doesn’t know Mel has a second job. Based on what Mel’s said, she hasn’t told very many people what’s going on in her life. All I can do is hope she confided in Fallon.
Getting her out of that place is my current top priority. Yeah, the fact that she slept with him bugs the shit out of me, but it’s in the past. I won’t lie and say I’m not worried about him being a dick to her now that she isn’t offering to sleep with him anymore, even more so when I’m certain she needs the job, especially after seeing that invoice on her table.
With a deep breath, I open the door and slowly unfold my body. I look up at the house in front of me, jealousy piercing my heart again at the knowledge that Reed, and soon Ryker, have the very thing I’ve always wanted – the loving family, the woman who loves them, and the child who thinks the world of them.
My fist lands against the heavy wooden door before I can gather my thoughts completely. I thought I’d forced down all my emotions, but I can feel the anger bubbling inside me. Seconds tick by and I wonder if maybe she’s sleeping. It’s definitely possible with a new baby. Guilt sinks in just as the door flies open, revealing a very exhausted and worn out Fallon. She’s holding Maverick against her chest, and even though she looks dead tired, there’s a smile pulling at her lips at the sight of me.
That’s Fallon, always there for everyone, even when she’s struggling too. I can tell from looking at her that she hasn’t had a moment to take care of herself. Normally her hair is brushed, and her makeup is done, but right now that’s not the case. Her hair is a mess, she has bags beneath her eyes, and there’s a yellow stain on her shit.
I look away, feeling like an asshole for coming here to get answers from her when she has so much going on in her own life. It’s possible she has no idea what is going with Mel...but then again this is Fallon. Mel is her best friend, and I know she would do anything for her.
“Remy, it’s so nice to see you. Come in.” She steps back giving me enough room to come in and when I do, I’m taken back by what I see. The house is a mess, with diapers, small children’s clothing, and bottles and formula sit on the living room table. It doesn’t look anything like it did when I was here yesterday.
“Is everything okay?” I ask Fallon, my gaze swinging to hers.
She sighs, “Yes. It’s just we’re not on a routine yet, and Mr. Poopy pants here doesn’t like it when his mommy puts him down, so as you can see…” She gestures around the room, emphasizing the mess. “The place hasn’t b
een picked up or anything today and I just haven’t had time to do it. It’s way easier when Reed is here, but he’s also driving me crazy, so I made him go into the office for a few hours.” Fallon shrugs, a sardonic smile on her face. “You know how he is.”
I can tell she’s trying to be strong and act like she’s not overwhelmed, but tears glisten in her eyes and my heart squeezes painfully. As much as I want answers, right now, I need to help Fal. “Give me Mav,” I order, holding out my hands to take him.
It takes Fallon a couple seconds to realize what I’ve said, her mouth popping open as if she wants to argue but then closing a moment later as if she’s decided against it. “That’s very sweet of you Remy, but I know you didn’t come here to watch the baby.”
The look I give her is stern. She might be older than me but as her kinda-brother I can easily make her do what I say. “You’re right, I didn’t, but I can tell you’re stressed. Give Mav to me and take a few minutes for yourself. Take a nap, take a shower, read a book, whatever. You’re like a sister to me, Fal. If you’re struggling, so am I. Plus, you need to take care of yourself so you can take care of him,” I nod toward the baby in her arms.
Watching as she visibly gulps, I can see her trying to justify saying no in her head, but she wants the break I’m offering her too. Finally, she relents, passing Mav to me without another word. Cradling him in my arms, my entire body warms when his blue eyes meet mine. I remember Fallon saying something about babies having a hard time seeing faces when they’re first born so I lean mine close to his before I start talking.
“Hey little man. It’s Uncle Remy. I’m the cool uncle, no matter what Uncle Ryker might try to say.” I smile down at him and he yawns an adorable baby yawn. Staring at his angelic face, I try to decide which parent he looks most like.
The longer I stare, the more certain I am that this is exactly what I want. A baby, a wife, a happy marriage, someone to love me unconditionally and let me love them the same way in return. Moments, minutes, could even be hours, who knows, tick by as I stare at my nephew.
This little guy brings more joy and light to our dysfunctional mess of a family then he’ll ever know, and I know that while Dad may have fucked up big time, his death means my brothers have found their own sliver of happiness, their own happily ever after, even after the bullshit letters and truth came out and I want one too.
“Is everything okay?” Fallon’s soft voice startles me from my stupor and I suddenly I realize I’ve been contemplating my life the entire time she was in the shower. My gaze slips to Maverick who is quietly sleeping my arms.
‘Uhh yeah. Do you feel better?”
She still looks exhausted but now, instead of looking like she’s a second away from losing it, she looks refreshed. She nods, her features softening as she looks down at Maverick. “You must have the same touch Reed has. I swear, every time he holds the baby, he falls asleep, but the second he’s in my arms he’s all wide eyed and bushy-tailed.”
“It’s the Winston touch,” I joke.
Rolling her eyes, Fallon shakes her head, and taking Maverick from me, places him in what looks like a small bed in the corner of the room. She tucks him in before coming back to join me on the couch. Her eyes once again meet mine, prying for answers without having to say a single word.
One eyebrow raised in question, she asks, “What’s going on, Remy? You didn’t come here to help me with the baby or to let me take a shower. Plus, you should be at work, so whatever it is that’s going on must be pretty big.”
“Did you know Mel was working two jobs?” Fallon’s back goes straight, her eyes widening at the question. She wasn’t expecting this conversation at all. Her mouth opens, and I know she’s about to ask why I’m questioning her about her friend, so I quickly continue. “Or that she has 100k in debt that she owes to someone? Someone I’m going to assume is the hospital based off the things she told me about her family.”
Shock fills Fallon’s features, “I know she was working a second job, but I just assumed her first wasn’t paying well. And, I had no idea she had that kind of debt to the hospital.” I analyze Fallon’s face, deciding she’s telling the truth. She seems just as shocked as I am.
“Why haven’t you tried to help her? I know you could. Reed wouldn’t care.” I’m trying to hide my anger, but I can’t, not when help is right there, practically within arm’s reach, yet no one is offering anything. Fallon, as her best friend, should’ve tried harder.
Fallon twists her fingers together in her lap and gives me a sad look, “Mel is stubborn as hell, and she doesn’t like to owe anyone anything. She does everything herself even if she struggles to get through it. That’s how she’s always been. Her own one-woman team.” Hearing Fallon say that infuriates me further, and I want to punch something. Not Fallon, of course, but if it wouldn’t mess up the wall, I’d definitely do that.
“I don’t care if she doesn’t want the help. Don’t give her a choice.” Why am I the only who’s thought of this?
Fallon snickers, a smile that makes her eyes sparkle forming against her lips. “Clearly, you don’t know her very well.” Her head tips to one side and she studies me, eyes narrowing as she does. “How did you come to know anything about Mel anyway? She’s extremely private, so I’m assuming she didn’t just say she owes that much money.”
Using one hand to rub the back of my neck, I avoid looking at her. Shame courses through me because I know I shouldn’t have looked, but when I saw the amount, I couldn’t help myself. “Well, she didn’t exactly come out and tell me but I’m smart enough to put two and two together. I saw a paper on her dining room table with the amount owed on it and knew if I asked her, she wouldn’t answer.”
“Yes,” She starts, then pauses with a sigh, sadness filling her eyes. “Mel’s had a rough life. Between her sister being sick when she was younger, then her dad walking out on them a year or so ago, she has a hard time believing people will stay. Even with me, she doesn’t share everything. I’m going to assume the bill was something to do with Maddie’s cancer treatments. She was diagnosed with leukemia when she was twelve, and even though she’s been in remission for a while, the bills piled up. Mel took on all the debt because her mom hasn’t been able to deal since Reggie left. I mean, I knew they had bills. Who wouldn’t when her dad isn’t paying a single dime? I didn’t know it was that much.”
Fallon looks just as concerned as I am now, but the longer she stares at me, the more the look on her face changes until she’s studying me so closely, I start to sweat. “You know she’s got abandonment issues because of her Dad, right? She doesn’t date anymore, so I’m a little shocked that you’re here asking about her.”
“We aren’t dating. I’ve asked her, more than once, but she keeps saying no. She’s got too much going on, she says. Her other excuse is that she doesn’t date younger guys.” Annoyance laces my words, even though I get why she’s being so cautious.
Patting my knee, she tries to reassure me. “Don’t take it to heart Rem. Mel is so used to doing everything on her own that I don’t think she knows how to let someone help. I’ve offered to pay her bills and so has Reed, but she refused. Told me she’d disown me if I tried.” Fallon frowns. “And honestly, she would. She’s that strong willed and stubborn.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, the copper taste of blood filling my mouth but I don’t stop. Mel can’t live the way she has been. That’s not something you can continue to do long term. How can I let her do that when I have the money and resources to make her life easier? It would be so easy to help her, so easy to take the burden off her shoulders.
“What hospital was her sister at?” I ask curiously.
“Mercy.” Fallon narrows her eyes as if she can tell what I’m going to do before I have the chance to deny it. “And if you’re thinking about helping, you better hope to God she doesn’t find out. She doesn’t like owing anyone money, and she’ll be a pain in the ass if she finds out you went behind her back and I knew about it.�
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Fallon’s comment makes me laugh, “Oh that’s fine by me. I love sparring with her. In fact, it’s the damn highlight of my day.”
“Do you… Do you love her?” Fallon questions, eyes filling with hope.
She’s not out to stir the pot I know that, but I know her well enough to love her. “I care about her. The potential to love her is there, but I’m not at that point yet, and I won’t know if what we have can work till we get there.”
Tears well in Fallon’s eyes and she jumps across the small space separating us, wrapping her tiny arms around my large frame. She squeezes my middle tightly, looking up into my eyes with a radiant smile on her pretty face.
“I want you both happy, together or not. Mel has been through so much and I know she’s not going to give into love without a fight.”
I pat Fallon on the head, grinning when she bats my hand away with a dirty look. “Don’t you worry little sister.” She scoffs, not surprising considering she’s three years older than I am. “I’ve got this. I’ll do what I can to make her happy and that I’m the best option. In the end, though, the choice has to be hers. That doesn’t mean I’m going to watch her struggle. You might not be able to help her, but she already kind of hates me, so I’ll be the one to do it.”
“I hope it doesn’t backfire on you.” Fallon gets up, walking over to the bassinet. Maverick doesn’t stir, and since Fallon looks like she could use the rest while the baby is asleep, I stand too.
“It won’t,” I assure her. “I’ll stop by later when Reed is here. Thanks for giving me the info I needed.” After a quick kiss to her forehead, I shut the front door quietly behind me and pull out my phone. As a Winston, I have connections most people don’t, and I’m not afraid to use them.