by Riley Flynn
One by one, they had to talk. Alex chose Timmy first.
* * *
“Hey, man.” Timmy removed his hand from one of the sharpened spikes. “These things have some edge to them.”
“Hey. Yeah, they do.” Both men sat on the ground beside one of the traps.
“I can’t believe we’re letting you do this.” Timmy spoke first.
“Letting me?”
“Sure, man. We’re in control here, don’t you know?”
Timmy was flicking his fingernail against one of the sharpened points. A slow click, click, click.
“That’s exactly why I wanted to talk to you. I’ve got to tell you something. When I’m away, you’re the guy who takes point. You’re leading the way.”
The clicking stopped.
“Why me? What have I done? I’m not good with responsibility, man.”
“You’re better than you think you are. And because you’ve been with me from the start. You know where we’re going. Plus, you’ve already got the map.”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“Show it to me.”
Putting a hand into his coat pocket, Timmy took it out. Creased and worn, it must have been hard to read. Alex scanned the page. There was Roanoke. He pointed to the south of the city, the tip of his finger resting on a sea of green.
“It’s right there. You can’t miss it. You’re going to remember that?”
“Sure, man. I got a good memory.”
“You do. You definitely do.”
“Hey, Alex.”
“Yeah?” Both men were awkwardly stepping around the conversation, neither entirely comfortable with what they were saying. Alex felt it and he could see the same feeling echoed in Timmy’s face.
“You’re going to meet us there, right?”
“Sure.”
“Only… it won’t feel right to be there without you.”
“I’ll be there.”
“I mean, we’ll probably have to look through all your old stuff. Yearbooks. Photos. You got anything embarrassing you don’t want us to see? Want to warn us now, tell us where not to look?”
“Why would I tell you that?”
“Damn, that’s why you’re the clever one.”
“If I was the clever one, I’d have a better plan.”
“Yeah, maybe. But it sounds better than calling you the dumb one. The crazy one?”
“That’s a bit better.”
“You can be the crazy one, then. I’m the good looking one.” Timmy paused for a second. “Man, never would have had you pegged as the crazy one between us.”
“You got all the looks, what can I say?”
Timmy started flicking his finger against the wooden stakes again. Moments like this, Alex realized, were exactly why he’d worked so hard to save Timmy. And Joan and Cam and Finn. This was friendship. A bond. Unbreakable. It was so clear now, even if he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud.
“I’ve got to go and talk to Joan a minute.” Alex said. “You’re going to remember that spot, right?”
“It’s burned into my memory, man.”
“Good. Thanks, Timmy.”
Alex stood up and dusted himself off. He felt better. Relieved. Lighter. Even the tiredness was starting to fade. Timmy stood up fast.
“Alex?”
“Yeah?”
“Come here.”
Before Alex could move, Timmy had wrapped his arms around him and brought them both into a hug.
“Thanks, man.” Alex voice was muffled by Timmy’s shoulder. “You get to that farm as soon as you can, right?”
“As soon as I can.”
“Or else.”
“Or else.”
The arms dropped away and Alex stood in front of his friend. There was nothing left to say. He walked away, not wanting Timmy to see his face.
* * *
Joan was still sitting by the tent. It was dark, at least, but she could see him coming. Hopefully, Alex thought to himself, it was too dark to see his face that clearly. He rubbed his eyes as he approached, sitting down next to her.
“May I?”
“I think you already have.”
Alex made himself comfortable. It was difficult. Everyone was so wrapped up in clothes during the evening, each wearing every layer they owned, that movement and flexibility was compromised. But it was the only way to deal with the cold.
“That looked emotional, Alex. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, Joan. Thank you for asking.”
“You know me, Alex. Always happy to help.”
“Yeah. You know, I wanted to talk to you.”
“You did? Now there’s a surprise. Lucky me.”
“You’re not good at these kinds of heart-to-heart moments, are you?”
“I’m a warm and friendly person, Alex. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You are. Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“It is?”
“Earlier, before. I can’t remember when it was. But you asked me about Sammy.”
“I did.”
“Do you still want to know?”
“I suppose that depends on what you’re going to tell me.”
Alex reached into the pocket of his pants. Wrapped up in sweaters and coats, it was tough. He had to dig deep. But there it was. Right at the bottom. Cold and round. The ring. He pulled it out and held it in front of Joan.
“Well now, isn’t this awkward?”
Joan had quite a way with sarcasm, Alex had noticed. The two were well acquainted.
“Last time this happened to me, I ended up with this.” Joan pointed at her pregnant bump. “And then I ended up here.” Joan waved a hand at the dark forest.
“What are you offering me, Alex Early?”
“I want you to have it.”
“So did he; that was the problem.”
“Joan, please. Be serious for a moment.”
She joked to avoid being serious. Most of the time, Alex appreciated this. But not now. Time was the one thing he couldn’t waste. He didn’t have enough. He had to cut through the awkwardness and the emotion, make sure Joan knew exactly what mattered.
“Sorry. Go ahead.”
“It’s a good system for you, this, isn’t it? The humor to distract from the terrible stuff that’s happening.”
“We all have our crosses to bear, Alex. I cannot be held accountable for my wit.”
“Okay. Well. Take it.”
Joan plucked the ring from Alex’s fingers.
“This is for Sammy?”
“Yeah. How did you guess?”
“The way you were talking about her. Present tense. Your eyes brightened up when you remembered. You think she’s alive. You want her to be alive. And I’m damn sure it’s not for me.”
“Do you think she is? Alive?”
There was another pause. Alex couldn’t read this one as easily. But he felt the dark clouds gathering above the conversation.
“Alex… I… I don’t know what to say. The chances aren’t low. I mean, not even just the virus. Everything else. When did you last see her?”
“Must be ten years ago. Short time before my parents died. She was sitting on her front porch. She had one of those swaying seats, you know. It creaked, always the same note. But she said no.”
A moment stretched out for what seemed like eternity. They sat in silence together.
“Ten years is a long time,” Joan ventured at last, her voice a coarse whisper.
“I would know if something happened.”
“It doesn’t work like that.”
“Maybe it does.”
Joan turned the ring over and over in her fingers. She blew hot breath on the metal and wiped it with her sleeve.
“So what do you want me to do with this exactly?”
“If you reach the farm – when you reach the farm - it belongs there. It used to be my mother’s ring. Now, Sammy should have it. Even if she didn’t want it then, there�
��s no one who deserved it more. My mom always liked her. If you get there and you’re able to get set up and everything, I want you to look for her. You can find the address in the house. Timmy’s already said that he’ll be going through my old yearbooks. Find her, Joan.”
“And then what?”
“If I’m not back with you, give her the ring. She’ll know what it means.”
Still wiping the ring with her sleeve, Joan slowed down.
“You never stopped thinking about her, did you?”
“I tried.”
“Some things never leave you.”
Holding the ring up to one eye, Joan let it drop into the palm of her hand. Then she thrust her hand deep inside her own pocket and hid it away.
“It’s safe there.”
Alex believed her. They sat quietly for a while, listening to the wind, almost asleep.
“You know, you’ve got to come back now, Alex.”
“Oh yeah. Why?”
“Beyond the fact that I’ve grown quite fond of you, I want to know the full story behind this ring. The gossip. I want it all, Alex.”
He laughed.
“If I get back, then sure.”
“You’re getting off easy now because you’re being heroic. Just you wait till I see you next.”
Alex laughed again and got to his feet. His legs ached. His eyes ached. His entire mind ached. He reached down and kissed Joan quickly on the cheek.
“I’m glad we ran into you, Joan.”
“I’m glad I put something sharp to your throat, Alex. I think it set a nice tone for our relationship.”
The laugh hurt muscles Alex had forgotten he had. Not because it was particularly funny but because there was nothing left to say. He laughed and prepared to leave her sitting beside the tent.
“I’ve got one more person to talk to tonight.”
“Good luck.”
“Thanks. I’m going to need it.”
“You’re better at this than you think you are, Alex. Have hope.”
He was walking away already and the last words went with him. Have hope. He didn’t have much else. Have hope. Maybe one day.
* * *
Alex would only have been able to find Cam if he knew where to look. The man had a way of sitting still. Not of being exactly like an unmoving statue – he moved occasionally, with the wind or to adjust himself – but it felt organic. Natural. As though he was part of the background. He faded out of focus, became a blur and, before long, it simply slipped the mind to think to look for a man sitting at the base of a tree, tucked in among the roots.
But there he was. Alex walked toward him.
“If you’re here to take over from me,” Cam called out, “I’ll shoot you dead right now. It’s not happening, Early.”
“I’m not here for that.” Alex knew it was a joke. He hoped it was.
“Then you’re here to get me talking. Maybe I’ll shoot you anyway.”
Alex arrived in front of the tree and Cam was there, hardly moving. They sat together, facing the camp.
“You don’t have a gun with you.” Alex had noticed as he sat down. “What were you planning on doing if there was trouble?”
“I can’t take that rifle off you, Alex. It suits you. Give ‘em hell.”
“Yeah, but we have other guns. Don’t you want-”
“I don’t think I should.”
“Why not?”
“You know why not.”
“Because of what happened on the road?”
“Yeah. That, and a few other times. I know you seen me.”
“Sure. But you’re a soldier, Cam. I’ve seen you save us.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. But when those thoughts set in, when those memories come calling, I’ve got nothing. I don’t know what I’d do with a gun out here. I’ve got nothing.”
“That’s not true.”
“I’d be dead twice over if it wasn’t for you folks. Dead in them woods, probably.”
“You’re embarrassed? Don’t be. We couldn’t have got this far without you.”
“Now that… that ain’t true and you know it.”
The conversation was slipping away. Alex could feel his grip, his control. It was fading from focus like Cam among the tree roots. He needed a new approach.
“Even if it was true—” Alex smiled while he spoke. “—it doesn’t matter.”
“Oh, it don’t?”
“Not really. Not now. I’m leading those men away from us and you’re going to be alone with Timmy and Joan. You’re in a different situation now, soldier.”
No response. Alex wasn’t sure whether that meant his new approach was working. One way to find out, he thought.
“It’s different. You’ve got a different objective. You don’t need to be pointing a gun at anyone. You just need to get those two through the woods and out the other side. You can do that?”
The words were stiffening as he spoke them, growing cold in the throat. Alex raised a hand and laid it on Cam’s shoulder. The man didn’t move, didn’t twitch. He just sat, still as the night itself.
“You’ve got to protect these two, Cam. I’m not asking you, I’m telling you.”
Cam started to nod his head.
“I’ve got to protect them, you say?”
“That’s right.”
“You think I can do it? You think we can do it?”
“I sure as hell do. I’m going to see you on the other side of this forest at the farm and we’re going to laugh about it.”
“We will. We will.”
“Good.”
Without warning, Cam slapped his hand flat against Alex’s shoulder. He moved so fast, there was no time to react, no time to stop it.
“You’re a good man, Alex Early. A good man. Don’t forget it.”
“I try, Cam. I try.”
“And that’s all anyone can ever ask.”
Alex stood up and turned to walk back toward the tent. Sleep at last. Finally. Rest. But he couldn’t move. There was still something lurking in the back of his mind. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep unless he asked.
“Cam, I’ve got to ask you something.”
Alex sat back down.
“That don’t sound too good. Got me all riled up and ready to go and now you got questions.”
“It’s just a quick one. I have to know.”
“Shoot.”
Alex scratched at his head and his hand wandered down to his neck, cupping itself behind his ear.
“That day, back by the cabin, when you approached me, when you put your hand on my rifle. Why didn’t you freeze up then? Why did you come up to me?”
The silence was long. Not like the others, where the wind or the sound of the owls picked up the slack. This was a different quiet. The only thing Alex could hear was Cam breathing. Slow. Steady. It seemed to last forever.
Cam was chewing gum again, Alex noticed. The slight wet slap. The jaw moving out of the corner of the eye. He could see it, teeth working overtime while their owner thought.
“I’d been watching you there, among them trees. You were standing with the rifle, no clue them army boys were coming soon. There was something about the way you stood. The way you walked. I could see you weren’t going to hurt me. I got a calling, a voice in my head. Told me to go help you. So I had to. Knew I wasn’t going to be in no danger. So I reached out. And look where it brought me.”
“Sitting under a tree in the dark with some CIA goons on your tail?”
“Hey, it’s better than freezing my balls off in that cabin all alone.”
Alex laughed.
“All right. If you’re not going to let me take guard duty tonight, then I’m going to get some shut eye.”
“You got a busy day ahead tomorrow.”
“I hope it’s not too busy.”
“Sure thing, boss.”
Alex began to walk away, already feeling the flat of the ground inside the tent as it pulled him closer and closer.
“Hey, Ale
x.” Cam’s voice was raised enough to cut through the night.
Alex turned. Cam was rustling, moving around. The stillness was gone. It was too dark to see, but it looked like he was trying to pull something out of his coat. An arm twitched. A soft thud on the ground.
“Found it back in the diner.” Cam’s voice was quieter. “Figure you’ll need it more than me.”
Alex bent down and felt around on the forest floor. He found it. Smooth and plastic. The same shape as one of the flash drives. But it felt different. He picked it up and examined it in the moonlight. He laughed. A pack of gum.
“It’s my flavor,” Alex called out into the darkness.
He turned the gum over in his hands. A simple thing. A soldier’s thing. A relic of a distant world. It had meant a lot to Cam. Now, by extension, it meant everything to Alex.
“Then lady luck shines on you already. Use it wisely, my friend.”
Cam and his voice vanished back into the forest. Alex walked toward the campsite, back to the tent. It must have been thirty feet. He didn’t notice. Each footstep felt softer, quieter, weaker. By the time he arrived at the entrance to the tent, he was almost asleep. He stepped over the dog and ducked inside. Timmy and Joan were already there. He lay down next to them, feeling the warmth.
Picking his way under the sleeping bag, his hands working on autopilot, Alex laid his head flat and closed his eyes. I should be scared. I should be praying. I should be running as fast as I can in any direction. But Alex felt calm. At peace. Even if he was in danger, he thought, it meant that the others would be safer.
The sound of breathing. His friends, he could hear them.
Not for the last time, he told himself. Not for the last time.
Chapter 38
Even before the dawn, Alex was awake. He listened to the sound of breathing. The first light hit the plastic roof of the tent, illuminating everything with a soft, green glow. He had to leave before everyone woke up. He had to leave now.
Moving with care, Alex unpicked himself from the huddled knot. Three people and a dog in a two-man tent. Cramped but warm. Other people were the best protection against the cold world. Time to leave them be.
No need to say goodbye. Time was of the essence, Alex kept telling himself. Move fast. Move decisively. Not enough hours in the day to get emotional. A comforting kind of lie. Finn came with him. Not entirely alone.