“If it came to that,” Lee replied with a slight shrug.
“So you’re still doing things your way.”
“I guess so.”
“And I suppose you’ll never change.”
“I guess not.”
A long moment of comfortable silence passed between the two men. “What about Erin?” Tom asked, joining Lee and looking out at her.
“I don’t know,” Lee answered honestly.
“Don’t you?” Tom asked. Before Lee could even think of a reply to that question, Tom went on, “I think you know more than you think you know. Your only trouble is, you don’t know what to do with what you know. And—” he paused “—if you let her walk away a second time, I’d think you were twice the fool, Lee. Just to give you fair warning, I’m going to be calling you in a few days, when you’ve had a chance to recover from all of this. We need to talk about your place at the department.”
“I don’t know if I can come back to work for good,” Lee said.
“Then you’re a bigger fool than I thought. Because nobody can do the job better than you can.” Tom started to move toward the front door.
Lee reached out and grasped his arm, stopping him. “Not until you get rid of the two-faced leak in your office.”
“Who?” Tom asked in surprise.
“Henshaw,” Lee informed him. “Gordon Henshaw. He was in the office when Erin and I came to see you. He talked to me. Then later, we heard Burke call his contact for information on us. I pressed the redial. Henshaw answered.”
Tom’s eyes narrowed, the only outward sign of the anger that flashed through him. “I’ll take care of it today.”
“Tom,” Lee said, forcing himself to look into Tom’s eyes, “I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“I didn’t call you because I thought you were the leak.”
“Some of this was probably my own fault. I should never have met you at my office where anyone could see you and Erin.” He took a step away before turning back again. “I’ll be calling you.” Tom walked past him and out the front door without another word.
His words left Lee feeling as though there was a sudden tornado ripping through his insides. He watched Tom approach Erin. Tom said something to her, and Erin smiled at him and replied. But they were too far away for Lee to hear anything that was said. Not that he’d be able to concentrate on any of it anyway. Tom’s words had left him with mixed emotions.
Lee tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. At the same time, he forced his legs to move and take him out of Burke’s house forever. He was going to face Erin. To face his uncertain future—at least in regard to her.
Yes, she’d admitted so much to him in that van. She had even gone so far as to tell him she loved him. But their lives had been at stake. His own past had taught him that people say a lot of crazy things they would never otherwise say when their lives were in danger. Things they wouldn’t necessarily say at any other time.
Despite what she thought, he had heard every word of it, too. And every word had lodged in his heart.
Tom climbed into a waiting car with another Special Division officer and Lee waved before turning to face Erin. He knew he could handle being in a car with her for the hours it would take to get back to Chicago.
He hadn’t left her alone through any of this. He wouldn’t start now. He knew he could handle staying close to her despite the wild emotions churning around inside him at the thought of Tom calling him. He might as well accept it. He couldn’t have both Erin and his job.
“I’ll drive,” Erin offered.
“No, I’d rather,” Lee replied, climbing behind the wheel. Concentrating on driving would be much better than just sitting beside her, feeling her heat.
They passed O’Malley’s bed-and-breakfast place, and Lee tried not to look at it. He could feel the intensity of Erin’s gaze, and he avoided it like the plague. He worked to keep his eyes and his thoughts on the highway before them.
“You’re awfully quiet,” Erin observed.
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.
“No.”
He heard her sigh, but he looked straight ahead.
“I never really thanked you for keeping me safe,” she began slowly. “And I suppose a thank-you isn’t even sufficient, really.”
“You’re welcome.”
“So what was Tom talking about when he said he was going to call you?” she asked. “He mentioned something about that before he left.”
“It’s something about the job, what I’ll be doing and where I’ll be doing it,” he said.
“That’s great,” she enthused. “You probably should have been back before now.”
“I wasn’t ready. They offered me a desk job months ago, and I refused it.”
“Oh, yes,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “I remember hearing about that. You let your ego and your pride stand in the way.”
“Would you just let it go!” he snapped. “It’s none of your business.”
But, boy, he wished it was. He wished he could share this decision with her just as he wished he could share the rest of his life with her. But he didn’t know what her plans were. After making love to her last night, he’d promised himself he wouldn’t let her leave again, wouldn’t let her walk away from him. Now, however, in the light of day, he didn’t have the foggiest idea how to keep her from doing just that.
He could tell her he loved her, but he remembered saying that before, as she stood in the foyer with her suitcase in her hand, and it hadn’t stopped her then. So he didn’t think it would be enough to stop her now.
“Fine,” she said, turning her head away.
That was great, he thought to himself. For all he wanted her to stay, he was sure doing his best to push her away.
Still facing the window, she shifted in the bucket seat and leaned her head back. A short time later, Lee stole a glance at her to find her sleeping. He felt himself wanting to do the same and promised himself that as soon as he got home, he would. The only problem was, he wanted to do it beside Erin.
The miles slipped by. Erin slept until Lee stopped for gas at a convenience-store gas station. He could use his credit card without worry now, so he filled the tank and got them both a cup of coffee.
“Would you like me to drive for a while?” she offered again before he got back in.
“No, I’m fine, and we don’t have all that much farther to go.” Driving kept his mind off other things. He climbed back behind the wheel. And the rest of the way home, whatever conversation transpired between them was nothing if not short and sweet.
There wasn’t much for him to carry in once they reached his house. His leg was aching more than ever, and he wanted only the comfort of a hot shower and his bed.
“How’s your head?” he asked her, just inside the door.
“Fine,” she replied.
“You’re not seeing two of anything, are you?”
“No. But I am seeing a mess,” she remarked as they stepped into the kitchen.
There was still glass everywhere, holes in the cabinets and evidence of the police investigation. Lee uttered an oath, having completely forgotten about this disaster.
“We could always call your cleaning-service friends,” Erin said with a grin.
“That’s sounds like a good idea. I’ll do it after I take a shower and a nap,” he said.
“I like the sound of that,” Erin replied.
“I thought you’d be wanting to pack,” Lee blurted out. It was time to stop beating around the bush about this. He had to face up to it sooner or later. Putting it off was just putting off the pain.
“Oh,” she said as though she’d just remembered. “I guess,” she said.
Was he mistaken or did he hear reluctance in her voice? And why was she still standing there, not rushing off to pack?
“How come you never asked me to stay?” she demanded suddenly. “How come you never said anyth
ing at all?”
Lee had the impression that if she hadn’t asked it so quickly, she might have changed her mind about asking all together.
“I said I loved you,” he said honestly. “I also asked you to talk this out with me. You said there was no more to say. How come you never asked me to stay home more often? How come you never let me know just how much it was bothering you?”
“I knew what your job meant to you,” Erin explained. “I know what it still means to you.”
And look what happened to that job when you left, he thought ruefully. “Maybe you should have asked. You might have found you meant more to me than the job,” he said, letting go of his own past. “I didn’t know so much of it was bothering you. We talked about so much, but never that.”
He met her gaze for the first time, and was taken aback by the tears he saw filling her eyes. The room was quiet for a long moment.
“I want to stay here, Liam. With you. I want to come home again,” Erin said.
Lee stared at her for a long moment, his throat so tight he wasn’t able to get a word through it. This was his dream come true, to have her back with him again. But he wouldn’t accept it. Slowly, he shook his head. “I don’t know,” he said.
“Don’t know what?” she whispered.
“I don’t know if I can trust you.”
“You didn’t trust Kaffel, either, but you gave him a second chance and worked with him in taking down Burke. I’m asking for a second chance, too.”
“Why?” Lee asked. “So you can leave me again when you start to worry too much or when you’re lonely because I’m off doing my job—a job that I love? So when you go, you can take my soul with you again? I won’t let you do that to me a second time. I’d rather you walk away right now, Erin. Hell, I’d rather get shot again than feel the pain of that. Because being a cop is what I am. It’s all I am. That’s not going to change.”
The tears were spilling down her cheeks. Lee tried to ignore them. “Liam, if this has taught me anything, it’s that there can be danger anywhere, not just in your job. Yes, I’ll probably worry about you, and I’ll be lonely when you’re gone. But I’ll be safe. We’ll keep each other safe. And I’ll be loved. I hope. That’s what’s most important....”
“You’ve always been loved,” Lee said. “And if there’s one thing I’ve learned through all of this, it’s that you always will be. By me.”
Lee was suddenly touching her, and he couldn’t remember even moving. His hands on her arms, he gently turned her to face him. Cupping a gentle hand beneath her chin, he gazed warmly into those shining green eyes.
“You’ll stay with me? You won’t leave?” he asked.
Slowly, she shook her head. “I won’t leave,” she replied.
“Will you marry me?” he asked.
“Marry you?”
“I’ve got a ring upstairs that I’ve had for nine months,” he said.
“Really?”
Lee nodded. “I want the whole nine yards with you, Erin. I want complete commitment. I want what Tom has—wife, home, possibly kids, family. It’s what I’ve always wanted. With you. Who knows, maybe we’ll even get a dog, a real big watchdog.”
It was enough to make her giggle despite the tears that still spilled over onto her cheeks. Lee chuckled and wiped them away gently with his thumb. “Don’t cry. It tears my heart out when you cry.”
“I can’t help it.”
Pulling her against him, he cradled her against his chest. “It doesn’t matter where we are or what we have as long as we’re together and you never leave me again.”
“Never...” she promised.
“And if you ever decide to,” he whispered into her hair, “just shoot me first. I’ve experienced both. Your leaving is definitely more painful and harder to live with than being shot.”
“Okay,” she agreed.
“Does this mean that you’ll marry me?” he had to ask.
“Yes, I’ll marry you.”
They were both quiet for a long moment.
“You know,” he whispered, “we could take a shower and a nap together. Then start cleaning this mess up tomorrow. We’ll also need to see about cleaning up your dad’s house. I’d hate for him or one of your brothers to pop in for a surprise visit and find it that way.”
“That sounds absolutely wonderful,” she replied, fitting up against him like a puzzle piece that was made just for him.
Lee woke some time later only to find Erin snuggled up against him in what was once again their bed. The pain in his leg was gone.
Despite the mess he knew was still waiting downstairs, Lee thought everything was in its proper place. He was in bed with Erin beside-him, both snug under the quilt Erin had taken out of the guest bedroom, the quilt that had been on this bed before she’d left. On the nightstand stood Cupid, the symbol of their love, propped up between the lamp and the phone, his broken arrow pointed at them. True, he was damaged, but like the two of them, he had endured. Their love continued and that was what was important. He was in his rightful place. So was Lee. So was Erin.
Here.
Together.
Now. And forever.
Lee pulled her closer and held her in his warm embrace meant for all eternity.
ISBN : 978-1-4592-7213-2
CRIME OF THE HEART
Copyright © 1997 by Allison Harris
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 300 East 42nd Street, New York, NY 10017 U.S.A.
All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.
This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
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Table of Contents
Table of Contents
There must be a woman like this in every man’s past,
Letter to Reader
Books by Allie Harrison
About the Author
Dedication
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Copyright
Crime Of The Heart Page 22