by Sosie Frost
Except, this time, I didn’t mind the distance. I needed that space away from Piper, time to think about what I had done to her.
The sex had been great…at the time. It had heated my blood, cracked my bones, and drained my balls so thoroughly I was left a hollow shell for the rest of the night.
But what I was supposed to say to her now?
I couldn’t explain why I took her the way that I did. It wasn’t romantic. Hell, it wasn’t even kind. I fucked her remorselessly, manhandling her offered body. And I had loved it.
The thought sickened me. I really was a beast, getting off on treating Piper that way, the only woman who I might have…
I needed to apologize.
I held the bunny for a minute too long. My suite-mate for the night snorted as he glanced over.
“That yours?” Tim Morgan flashed a pretty boy smile meant to enrage me. “Didn’t know you had a stuffy, Hawthorne.”
The team captains always roomed together. Unfortunately, that meant I suffered with the league’s biggest asshole. It usually worked in my favor. One night with Tim and I’d be eager to hit someone by kickoff.
“It’s not mine,” I said.
“It was packed in your bag.”
“By mistake.”
“It’s kinda cute.” Tim rolled off his bed and approached. Mistake. He faked a baby-voice and laughed. “Look, it’s a widdle-bunny-wabbit.”
He reached for it. I should have punched him so hard those goddamned dimples would have popped out of his cheeks. I batted him away instead, tucking the bunny safe in my bag, on the opposite side of my shoes. No sense getting it dirty.
“Not mine. It’s my…” I quieted. What the hell was Piper to me? “My friend’s…agent’s…kid’s toy.”
“Why the fuck do you have it?”
I shrugged. “Maybe the kid wanted to give me a good luck charm but didn’t have the heart or motor-control to chop its foot off.”
“Yeah. That’s it.”
I frowned. “I think she was playing and lost it. Kid’s gonna be upset. It’s her favorite toy.”
“Right.”
I stared at the bunny, my voice actually warming. “She’s a little thing. Not even a year and a half.”
Tim made a face. “I hated that age. They’re always crying and shitting themselves.”
“Not this one. She’s usually happy. Giggling and babbling.”
Was I smiling? This was the most I’d ever talked to Tim—to any teammate—in years.
“She’s started…running to greet me when I get home,” I said. “Like a dog but…cuter.”
Tim snorted. “This your kid?”
“No.”
He sat on his bed, pulling a flask from his overnight bag. He took a swig though we weren’t supposed to drink before a game. Just lucky he didn’t use it to wash down a handful of Oxy. “You’re trying to fuck the mom. She’s the agent, right? What’s her name? Polly? Penny?”
My voice lowered. “Piper.”
“Damn. She’s got a kid?” He gave a low whistle. “Gotta love a MILF. They’re the freaky ones, can’t wait to get away from their kids. They’ll swallow a cock, bang your brains out, and kick you out of their bed before nap time ends. I got a girl like that—she’s no nonsense. In and out.”
I scowled. “Aren’t you married?”
“So?”
“Don’t you have a kid?”
“She’s got nothing to do with it.”
It was amazing how Tim’s reputation had gone from asshole of the century to squeaky-clean family man after his marriage. But, without him snorting every drug on the planet and beating a hooker, the league had no choice to focus on me as the current trouble-maker and scape-goat.
Christ, I didn’t even get any help from the Rivets’ quarterback, Jack Carson. Once, he was Ainsley Ruport’s whipping boy and nearly got his ass bounced from the league. Then he modeled himself after Tim. The Play-Maker cleaned up his image with a family too—though from what I heard, his was legit. Jack had changed his ways.
Tim still needed an ass kicking.
And he kept talking. “You already fucked her, didn’t you?”
I didn’t answer, and if he knew what was good for him, he’d shut it before I punted his worthless hide out of our fifth-story window.
“I’m going to bed,” I said.
“Dude, get the hell out of that mess. Fuck her once and toss her out. Don’t get mired with a bitch and a baby.”
“Don’t call her a bitch.”
Tim sighed. “She’s your agent. She knows what you make. She’s just looking for a sugar daddy.”
“Shut your mouth.”
“Just sayin’.” He shrugged. “She’s already got one kid. She knows how the game is played. Next thing you know, she’ll be poking holes in a condom and calculating out your child support. You don’t want to be paying a woman off on the DL. Believe me.”
I didn’t answer him, and I didn’t bother flicking the light off. I grabbed the lamp and hurled it against the wall. The room plunged into darkness, and Tim shut up.
Piper wasn’t that kind of woman.
She wasn’t looking for another baby. Rose was her world, and nothing was going to jeopardize their bond. I was just lucky I got as close to her as I had.
I’d never met a woman like her. She faced me without hesitation, without fear, and she gave herself to me in absolute trust.
And I dishonored that gift.
I’d fucked the ever-loving shit out of her. Ruthless. Desperate. I had ached to hear her moan, and my only desire that night had been to make her come harder than she thought possible. I’d wanted to make sure that if she ever wanted to feel that way again, she’d have to find it in my bed.
But the things I did, the way I’d taken her…
She deserved better than a monstrous rutting. Flowers. Candles. Music. I should have worshiped her. Instead I’d treated her like a goddamned whore. I’d wrapped myself in her body, slammed a thumb in her ass, and fucked her until I nearly passed out as she bucked and groaned.
At least she came so hard my sheets were soaked in her desire.
Nothing about women made any sense to me.
I held my phone in my hand. Silent. Should I have called her? It felt like the right thing to do. To…check-in?
I typed out the text. It sounded stupid in my head and I deleted it after only three words.
Did I have to say hi in a text? She knew who the message was from, right?
Christ. I had no idea what I was doing. I rarely sent texts. Never needed to talk to anyone before.
Never had to worry about a damn toddler falling asleep without her favorite toy.
I have the bunny.
Deleted it.
I found Mr. Rumpleass.
Deleted. She hated when I called it by the wrong name.
I have Mr. Bumpybottom.
I deleted that too. Hell if I was leaving a record of the word Bumpybottom on my cell phone bill. Besides, it wasn’t what I wanted to say.
The words flickered onto my screen.
Are you okay? Are you mad? Do you regret fucking me?
I deleted those too, hating myself with every typed character.
You deserve better.
I didn’t delete that one, but I didn’t send it. Instead I added to it.
You and the baby deserve better.
I almost hit send. Almost.
I knew Piper didn’t want to make anything complicated, and a text like that would fuck both of us over. It had just been sex. She’d wanted to get fucked, and I obliged. That was the end of it.
So why did I fall asleep worrying about both of them?
And why did I wake up, dress for the stadium, and carry the damn bunny with me to the locker room?
I rubbed the bunny for luck at halftime when we were down by three.
It worked. No wonder the kid liked the damn animal so much.
After a quarter of stuffing Ashenville’s offense, ours finally show
ed up. Tim scrambled for a touchdown five minutes before the end of the game, and we held Ashenville after I sacked their quarterback for a huge loss. The clean hit forced a punt, and we regained possession of the ball to run the clock out.
It wasn’t a bad win. Wasn’t a good one either, but I preferred to claw a victory out in the mud. It proved that we deserved it.
But I wasn’t sure what thrilled me more—winning the game…or coming home.
It was the middle of the night when I crawled into the house. The baby’s crying wasn’t a good sign.
I managed to step over the first baby-gate, but I crashed through the second blocking off the kitchen. My legs didn’t work, and the duffle bag clattered to the ground. I tangled in another maze of baby-proofing that served only to prevent me from moving in my own house.
Why the hell did Piper magnet lock the cabinets if she was just going to barricade me and the baby out of the kitchen?
It wasn’t the time to ask. For as sexy, wanton, and raging as she had looked on Friday, early Monday morning Piper was…still beautiful, but obviously exhausted. Her hair fell from her ponytail, and she wore sweats with mix-matched socks. She bounced a red-faced, frustrated, absolutely inconsolable baby girl in her arms.
When had she last slept?
When had the kid last slept?
What the hell happened in the day and a half that I left?
“Is…” I pointed to the weeping, snotty, bawling child. “Is she going to do that all night?”
Piper’s laugh threaded a bit of insanity into her exhaustion. “All night? Try all weekend!”
“Is she okay?”
“It’s…we…” Piper wrangled Rose and plunked down onto the couch with her. “We lost her favorite stuffed animal, and she has a fever, and—”
I tensed. “Wait, what?”
“Her stuffed animal. Mr. Bunny Bumpybottom—”
“Yeah, I know. Rumpleass the rabbit.” Adrenaline surged through me. “What fever? What are you talking about?”
“A little ear infection, I think.”
I knew I should have checked in. Something tore at me last night, and I regretted not texting, not making sure everything was okay. The baby whined against Piper, covering her delicate little ears with a chubby fist.
“She’s sick?” I patted my pockets for my car keys. “Do we…what do we do?”
“Do?”
“I’ll pull the car around. There’s probably not a doctor this late. That’s fine. I’ll get us to the hospital—”
Piper shook her head. “It’s an ear infection. Babies get them all the time. I already have an appointment with the pediatrician tomorrow.”
“So what do we do until then? What happens? She’s just supposed to…”
Cry?
Break my fucking heart?
Piper kissed her forehead. “I need to put her down.”
“Jesus Christ!”
“To bed, Cole.”
Oh. Fuck. My head pounded. I couldn’t take much more of this. Piper didn’t seem worried, but the thought of Rose feeling terrible and sickly and feverish?
Hell, it made me sick.
Made me feel…helpless.
If I couldn’t cure a fever, I’d do the next best thing. I unzipped my duffle bag and pulled out the bunny. Rose didn’t see it at first, so I flipped it in my hand, slapping his ears from one side of his fuzzy head to the other.
“I found this when we landed in California,” I said. “I think she put it in my bag.”
Piper stared at the stuffed animal like I offered her a million dollars.
Or a decent night’s sleep.
“She knows it’s your bag…” Piper bit her lip. “She wanted to share him with you.”
“She really should verbalize that.”
“Oh, you have no idea…” Piper knelt with Rose on the ground, letting the baby stand. “Look, Rosie. Look who Cole found!”
Rose couldn’t see me through the tears. I hobbled closer on one knee and held the bunny out.
She stumbled a bit. Looked at the stuffed animal. She babbled something adorable and excited.
Rose raced towards me. I offered the bunny. She didn’t want that.
I froze as she padded to my chest and wrapped her little arms around me in a fierce hug.
Holy shit.
The adrenaline pumped harder. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t move. Didn’t breathe.
A tiny little girl wanted a hug from The Beast.
And Christ…what kind of monster would deny her?
I gently tucked my arm over her as carefully as I could. Her little fists gripped my shirt, and she sniffled against me.
But Rose stopped crying.
And she took her bunny.
Then she pulled away just as suddenly as she came to me. She collapsed back in her momma’s arms, thumb in her mouth, and clutched the bunny.
Piper sighed. “God, Cole, I can’t thank you enough.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t know how to get Rumpleass back to you, but I knew she’d be missing it—”
She didn’t listen to a word I said. She stared at me with such an intensity—such need—that my blood surged and cock hardened against my better judgement.
She grabbed my shirt, pulling me close. Her lips met mine with such passion I was too shocked to grab her back. She flicked her tongue with a promise that ended all too soon.
She pulled away. “I would do such terrible things to you right now…but I am so goddamned tired. I don’t even know how I’ll make it to my bed.”
I could help her. I could carry both of them. I’d set the kid in her crib and tuck Piper into my bed.
But she stood, too far from my reach.
“You’re my hero, Cole,” she said. “Really.”
“I didn’t do anything.”
“You’ve done more than you can ever know.”
This wasn’t just about the bunny. I looked away. “We gotta talk about the other night, beautiful.”
She shook her head. “There’s nothing to talk about. That night…it was the best night of my life. And I thank you for that.”
“But—”
“Let’s not regret it, Cole. I never will.”
I stayed silent as she slipped away from me, taking the baby upstairs. I sunk onto the couch.
I already regretted everything.
Piper had wanted a night of passion, but I gave her a mounting instead. I proved just how monstrous I truly was, how primal and brutal my desires could be. I’d regret it forever because nothing had ever felt as right as when I held her in my arms.
After all the shit I did in my life, all the isolation and violence, aggression and rage, the last thing I deserved was the princess, her baby, and the fairy tale.
I wasn’t her happily ever after.
Even if she was the only one who might have tamed this beast.
14
Piper
I could handle my baby’s one-hundred-degree fever and negotiate an endorsement deal at the same time.
It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t pretty. And it sure as hell wasn’t quiet, but at the end of the day, sometimes being an agent meant more than forcing a player into a trade he didn’t want. Sometimes it meant flirting with a popular video game’s marketing board. I scored him one of the four available spots on the cover of their 2017 PlayStation and X-Box title, and I did it in the pediatrician’s office.
Not a bad day’s work.
But I didn’t have a chance to talk to my client. Mondays were usually quiet for Cole. The team met in the afternoon to watch the film from Sunday’s game, but this evening he’d stayed late at the facility.
I rocked Rose on my lap, waiting for that blessed moment she’d fall asleep. Nothing yet, and I was running out of hope. I pulled out my phone.
“I should text him,” I said to her. “Right?”
“Circle why-angle six.” She always gave good advice. “Ayayaya.”
“It’s good news. He’d like to hear it.”<
br />
“Bunny!” Rose pitched the bunny across the room, watched him fall, and burst into tears. “Mamamamama.”
This was probably my least favorite game. I stood, groaned, picked up the bunny, and settled us all back into the chair. Rose grabbed my phone before I could take it away from her. She threw it too.
“Uh-oh!” She giggled.
Not an uh-oh. My little girl did me a favor. I might have been a coward, but I wasn’t texting Cole about the endorsement. After all, I needed something to talk about with him once he got home. Anything but the toe-curling sex that changed my life.
I’d gone to Cole for something fun and wild, and I meant it to be a one-night indiscretion. But, when he came home yesterday after the game, he was…different. He cared about me, about the baby, about the stuffed animal stowaway in his bag.
Cole Hawthorne was supposed to be some selfish, angry, monstrous loner.
No one warned me that he might have been a good man.
Sure, he’d panicked when Rose snuggled against his chest, but their hug was the most heart-warming and heart-breaking moment of my life.
My baby liked Cole, but he didn’t know it yet. He didn’t realize how comforting a hug could be, and how much it meant to a little girl who never knew what it was like to have a kind man in her life, even for the briefest of moments.
Rose threw Bumpybottom again and instantly pouted. It was definitely time for bed.
Unfortunately, we had been going to bed for the past two hours. It was almost nine o’clock, I was still in my dress and panty-hose, and Rose staged a bed-time coup.
She still wasn’t feeling well. This meant her brand-new crib transformed into a jail and the mattress became a prisoner to curb-stomp in the yard. She yelled, flailed, and yawned. She was too damn tired to sleep, but I had no idea what she wanted to do instead.
“How about one night-night story?”
It was a bribe, and it worked.
We returned to the rocking chair, the only remaining piece of beat-up furniture left. I didn’t ask Cole to order the new crib, dresser, and changing table, and he kept the order a secret until the moment I signed for the delivery.