by Dojyomaru
“Eek! ...What was that for, so suddenly?” My sudden outburst had surprised Liscia.
I’d been excited by the sudden and unexpected appearance of a luxury ingredient.
Hmm, so this is lily root, I thought. I’ve seen a single piece as an ingredient in a bowl of chawanmushi before, but this is my first time seeing a whole bulb. It’s supposed to taste like potato, if I remember correctly.
“...Well then, Poncho Ishizuka Paramedic,” I began.
“I-It’s Panacotta, yes.”
“Can you eat it?” I asked.
“Yes, of course you can. This root has no hallucinogenic effect, yes.”
“And, how does it taste?” I asked.
“If you steam them, they’re soft, flaky, and delicious. I might add, these beguiling lilies grow all over the mountains of Amidonia.”
That’s good to hear, I thought. Lily root is rich in carbohydrates. It can be used as a staple food, like potatoes. If we could harvest these, it might lead to a breakthrough in solving the principality’s food crisis.
“But with the pollen, you can’t go anywhere near where they grow, right?” I asked.
“Yes,” he agreed. “And if they aren’t harvested while they’re releasing pollen, toxicity builds up in their rootstalks. That’s why they aren’t customarily eaten in Amidonia, yes.”
“Well, that’s no good, then,” I said. “Even if they’re edible, if you can’t harvest them, then... Wait, huh? Then how’d you get this one here?”
When I asked that, Poncho pulled out a map and pointed to an area in the northeast of the Gran Chaos Empire.
“There is a people in the mountains of the Gran Chaos Empire who harvest the beguiling lily and use it as their staple food. They’ve developed a peculiar method of harvesting them, yes.”
“What is that method?” I asked.
“They use the shoujou for it, you see, yes.”
“The shoujou... They’re a type of orangutan, right?” I wondered aloud, to which Poncho nodded.
“Among the varieties of orangutan that live in the mountains, one species has a resistance to the effects of beguiling lily pollen. It seems these orangutans regularly dig up the rootstalks and eat them. The mountain people of the Empire have trained these orangutans to do the harvesting for them.”
I see, so like the cormorants used in cormorant fishing, huh, I thought. Taming them would normally be the hard part, but... we have an expert in that field in our country.
“Are those orangutans here in Amidonia, too?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said. “It seems they live in the mountains near Van, too. I already have Tomoe negotiating with them for us. The shoujou are famous for their love of alcohol, so I suspect they’ll happily work for us if we give them a barrel once in a while in lieu of money, yes.”
“...It’s good to see that you work so quickly,” I said.
Not only do we have the Rhinosaurus Preserve, now we’re making the Van Ape Army, too, huh, I thought. At this rate, I could turn Elfrieden into a literal animal kingdom. Ha ha ha...
“...Hey, Liscia,” I said.
“What?” she asked.
“If you think this policy is too crazy, you’re welcome to stop it, okay?”
“...Don’t look to me to make that decision.”
Liscia turned away, refusing to have anything to do with this.
◇ ◇ ◇
One week (eight days) later, the food distributed in Van included a dumpling made with the root of the beguiling lily (lily root for short).
“We are distributing lily root dumplings here, yes,” said Poncho.
Poncho, the Minister for the Food Crisis himself, stood at the distribution site, personally handing out lily root dumpling soup to the people of Van. The food crisis had affected Amidonia deeply, so the people of Van lined up with pots in hand to take their soup ration home with them. In addition to the soup being distributed, there was also some on hand for tasting, and he was serving it to the people who had lined up for it.
“It really warms you up,” said one woman. “This is better than I expected.”
“The soup itself has a nice flavor to it,” another agreed. “I think it was called miso, right?”
“These dumplings, I bet they’d taste good fried, too, huh?” a third commented. “I’d love to try cooking them myself.”
As housewives of Van were talking, Poncho called out to them. “W-We have lily root dumplings that you can take home here, too. I would very much like for you to bring them back with you and let your family try them, yes.”
When Poncho held up a bag filled with lily root dumplings, a gleam flashed through housewives’ eyes. Then, before he knew it, Poncho was surrounded by the ladies.
“My, how considerate,” said one. “It’s a big help, young man.”
“You, you’re one of that king’s personal retainers, right?” another asked. “Do you already have someone special to you?”
“Ah. No, I haven’t even considered marriage...” The moment Poncho said that, clearly flustered, there was a gleam in the housewives’ eyes.
“Why, splendid! My daughter is a sweet girl, you know,” said one woman. “Maybe you’d like to take her off my hands?”
“Hey, no fair!” another protested. “If you take a wife, it should be my daughter! She has good birthing hips, like me, so I can promise she’ll give you a healthy baby!”
“If she went to live with a portly fellow like yourself, I wouldn’t have to worry about her going hungry,” another added.
...And, before he knew it, they were already trying to set Poncho up with a wife.
When they heard all the noise, some of the young ladies even volunteered themselves for the position.
“He’s one of the king’s favorites, isn’t he?” a young woman asked. “Sounds like a keeper to me.”
“It’s a chance to marry into money,” another agreed. “Yes, yes! Sign me up for that.”
The next thing he knew, Poncho was being swarmed by women young and old alike. Souma had just recently shown them that it was okay to express themselves, so the women were very forthright with their emotions. For Poncho, who was not used to this sort of attention, he had no idea what to do and was standing there nervously, when...
“What are you doing, Sir Poncho?”
...someone called out to him with a voice that wasn’t loud, but which carried well.
When the many women looked towards the voice, they saw a beautiful woman in a maid outfit with a ladle in her hand. Seeing the maid’s stunning beauty, the women gulped despite themselves.
Then, of all things, that maid walked over to Poncho, wrapping herself around his thick arm. “I’ve come here at His Majesty’s request to assist you with your work because you’re so shy, you know? Do you mean to slack off while I’m working for you?”
The moment after she said that, Serina cast a glance at the crowd of women. Serina wasn’t glaring at them, precisely, but they felt intimidated by her beautiful face.
What’s a beauty like her doing next to a tubby guy like him?! they thought.
They were even arm-in-arm. Could it be they were in a scandalous relationship?
Paying no mind to the women’s feelings, Serina shot Poncho a meaningful glance. “Do be sure that you make this up to me later. I won’t be satisfied with doing it just once tonight.”
Whaa?! The ladies gasped at Serina’s suggestive words.
By the way, the thing that Serina wasn’t going to be satisfied only doing once that night was taste-testing Poncho’s experimental dishes. Serina had become enraptured with the dishes Poncho made based on the B-grade cuisine from the world Souma came from. In other words, she was saying she wouldn’t be satisfied taste-testing only one dish.
Poncho correctly understood what she meant, and he said, “Y-Yes! I will get right back to work, yes!” and returned to his job distributing food.
Serina gave an indifferent shrug, then turned and gave the women an elegant bow
before following after Poncho.
The women could only watch as the two of them left, feeling like they had been tricked somehow.
...Well, while there were some troubles, the lily root dumplings were delicious both fried and boiled, which did a lot to calm and soothe the hearts of the occupied people.
The culture of eating lily roots spread to Van, and Poncho Ishizuka Panacotta, who had distributed the dumplings to them personally, became respected almost in a godlike way by the housewives of Van, who came to call him “Lord Ishizuka.”
Perhaps, someday, he would have shrines built to worship him, like the Billiken.
Chapter 2: Meeting on a Street Corner in Van
Late in the 10th month, 1,546th year, Continental Calendar — Princely Capital Van.
A little more than three weeks had passed since the army of the Elfrieden Kingdom had come to occupy Van, the capital of the Principality of Amidonia.
The people of Van had looked harshly on their conquerors when they’d first arrived. However, with Souma keeping a tight rein on his soldiers, public order had improved, and with the lily root dumplings being distributed, the people were no longer at risk of starvation. Their distrust of the soldiers was gradually fading as a result. The fact that the nobles and knights who would normally have worked to foment a rebellion had all fled the city likely helped, too.
An air of calm was beginning to take hold in the city.
Though, that said... while it would have been nice if it had been purely calm, it seemed that the music program Souma was broadcasting had the people of Van burning with a passion for the arts. On every street corner there were minstrels, street musicians, and street performers of all kinds plying their trades.
On top of that, there were those who wanted to repaint their homes to be more colorful, and even those who wanted to produce wall murals displaying the beautiful countenances of Juna and the loreleis, Chris the newscaster, and Aisha, who was known for her part in hosting the program. Things were beginning to get out of hand.
Who would have believed this had been the capital of a militaristic state merely one month ago?
Souma called this period of Van the Amidonian Renaissance.
Sudden changes were always fraught with confusion, and in Van there were daily conflicts over the best places to hold street performances. The Forbidden Army troops who had been left to occupy the city were sent out to mediate, and the soldiers of the Army and Air Force who were camped outside the city looked on them with pity. Still, such disagreements never led to a major riot, and Van was more or less peaceful.
However, this day began with Aisha shouting noisily. “P-Princess!”
“Eek!” Liscia shrieked.
It was morning. Liscia had been getting dressed in the room she was using as her own when Aisha had barged in without so much as a knock at the door. It was so sudden that Liscia froze in surprise, but when she remembered she was in the middle of getting dressed, she continued putting on her uniform and asked, “Wh-What is it, Aisha? Why are you so flustered?”
“Th-That’s... His Majesty... His Majesty is...” Aisha sputtered. Perhaps because she was out of breath, she was having a hard time getting the words out.
“Calm down,” Liscia said. “Take a deep breath.”
“R-Right.” Aisha took a deep breath, as instructed. She swung her arms up and down in time with each heaving breath.
Once she was sure Aisha had calmed down, Liscia tried asking again. “So, what’s going on with Souma?”
“Right,” Aisha said. “I went to the governmental affairs office to greet His Majesty like usual this morning, but he wasn’t there. Instead, I found this note he left.” Aisha passed the piece of paper to Liscia.
Liscia took the piece of paper and read it over. It said, “I am going on a journey. Please, don’t look for me. - Souma Kazuya.”
Liscia pressed a hand to her temple and sighed, while Aisha returned to freaking out.
“Wh-Whatever shall we do? We must search for him at once!”
“I’m telling you, just calm down,” Liscia said. “Souma’s taking the day off.”
“Huh? A day off?” Aisha stared at her blankly.
“Right,” Liscia said, with a nod. “He’s with Tomoe. It looked like he’d been getting pretty close to the breaking point with his workload lately, so I suggested he take some time off. I even cleared it with Hakuya. When I did that, Souma said, ‘Well, maybe I’ll just laze around in some room making dolls, then.’ It didn’t sound healthy, so I asked Tomoe to drag him outside for me.”
“I heard nothing of this!” Aisha exclaimed. “I am His Majesty’s bodyguard, you realize?! Why didn’t he take me with him?!”
When she saw Aisha with tears forming in her eyes, Liscia gave a shrug. “You stand out too much. This was a primarily human country, so dark elves stand out to begin with, and with your recent fame from the broadcast, you’re not exactly going to be able to keep a low profile.”
“This was enemy territory not that long ago, you know?!” Aisha complained. “If anything were to happen to His Majesty and Tomoe...”
“Have no fears,” Liscia assured her. “They’re in disguise, and Juna and a number of elite marines will be watching over them from the shadows this time.”
“Madam Juna is accompanying them, too? Well, in that case, he should be safe...” Aisha got that far before Juna’s mature smile flashed through her mind.
To Aisha, Juna was the ideal woman. Gorgeous, graceful, gentle... She would have given anything to be like her. However... setting that aside, when she imagined Juna’s smile, every instinct Aisha had as a woman began setting off alarm bells.
If we let our guards down, she’s going to run off with all the best parts, she thought.
“He will be safe... won’t he?” she asked.
“...”
In truth, Liscia had been thinking the same thing, so she had nothing to say in response.
◇ ◇ ◇
“The weather sure is nice today, huh, big brother?” Tomoe asked.
“It sure is, Tomoe,” I agreed.
I was on Van’s shopping street walking hand-in-hand with my honorary little sister, the mystic wolf girl Tomoe. There had been a nigh lethal amount of administrative work to do lately, so Liscia, unable to watch me torment myself any longer, had suggested that I take my first day off since that time I’d patrolled the royal capital.
I figured if I had time off, I’d rather use it to laze around, like a father on vacation, but Liscia had said that was unhealthy and ordered little Tomoe to drag me into the castle town.
It was a place that had been enemy territory until just recently, so we were lightly disguised today. My facial features were supposedly similar to those of humans from the Nine-Headed Dragon Archipelago, so I was dressed like a traveler from there. I wore a traveling cape and conical straw hat, making me look like Kitakaze Kozou. Tomoe, meanwhile, wore a white robe with a hood, like a white mage from some game. Honestly, I’d wondered if it was worth the trouble of disguising ourselves to go out, but...
“Wowwie, there are so many different shops, big brother!”
...when I saw Tomoe so excited, nothing else mattered anymore.
“If you see one that catches your fancy, why don’t we go inside?” I asked.
“Okay! ♪” she sang.
When Tomoe gave that energetic reply, I patted her on the head. The hair between her two wolf ears was fluffy and soft to the touch. It felt amazing. Ahh... So soothing.
I tried talking to the person who was on the opposite side of me from Tomoe, too. “Juna, are you okay with that?”
“Yes,” Juna said, giving me a soft smile. “If it pleases you, Master Kazuya.”
For this undercover vacation, instead of Aisha, I was supposed to have Juna and around ten of her marines watching over me from the shadows.
...Yes, from the shadows.
“Um, Juna? Why are you wrapping yourself around my arm?” I asked.
/> Juna had wrapped herself around the arm I wasn’t using to pat Tomoe’s head. She was incredibly close. Right now, Juna was wearing a longsword on her back, with breastplate armor over top of her clothes. With her dressed up like a typical female adventurer, I didn’t feel those voluptuous things pressed up against me. Still, I could feel Juna’s warmth directly on my arm.
Juna seemed to see how flustered I was, and she flashed me a mischievous smile. “Oh, is it wrong for me to do this?”
“It’s not a matter of right or wrong... Weren’t you supposed to be protecting me from the shadows?” I asked.
“We’re protecting you like we’re supposed to,” Juna said. “Right now, my elite marines are protecting you in the shadows. They’re circling ahead of us to watch for any potential blind spots, too.”
“No, but... isn’t your face out there, too?” I protested.
The people of Amidonia should know Juna’s face from the music program. Even if she wasn’t as recognizable as the dark elf Aisha, Juna wasn’t hiding her face at all right now. Wasn’t someone going to notice her?
When I asked her that, Juna giggled. “It should be fine. I was wearing makeup then. I should have given off a very different impression.”
Now that she mentioned it... Juna was only wearing the bare essentials of makeup today. Whenever she stood on stage or before the jewel as a lorelei, she must use charming makeup that would be recognizable from a distance. The Juna I saw now had a natural beauty, but just taking off her makeup made her look younger than usual. Right now, she actually looked her age.
“That’s right,” Juna said, as if reading my mind. “...The reason I look like a mature adult is because of that makeup, got it?”
“No, I’m pretty sure the way you act is part of it, too...” I said. “So it did bother you?”
“I am a girl, after all,” she said. “Does it bother you linking arms with me, sire?”
Juna wore an expression that seemed somewhat uncertain. That face... She just wasn’t playing fair.
“It’s not that it bothers me,” I said. “Bring it on.”
“Hee hee,” she giggled. “Thank you.”