This was him convincing me to never leave him.
And even if I didn’t love him, I had started to wonder if he’d captured me in a different way. I wouldn’t leave him. I couldn’t. Not after this life-changing kiss. Not after he’d forced his way under my skin and convinced me to let him stay there.
It wasn’t just Kane though. It wasn’t just the emotions for him that were just beginning to open. It wasn’t anything I owed him, or felt obligated to give him.
This was me. This was no pressure to perform or deny what I felt. This was honest and open and lovely.
I savored him. I cherished this kiss. I let myself taste the sweetness of his mouth and allowed the building heat to burn through me. I gave myself over to this moment completely and let our lips and hands and bodies decide what and how I would feel.
I was tired of fighting.
I was tired of keeping myself from this.
I didn’t understand what drew me to Kane, but I was so tired of ignoring it, him… this. I was exhausted in every way, mentally, emotionally and physically. Frankly, I didn’t have the strength to stand up to Matthias, worry about those that I loved, put all of my hope in our assassination and fight these obviously real feelings for Kane.
There simply wasn’t enough of me to fight all the battles in front of me.
I had to pick and choose. And if I was honest with myself, Kane’s feelings for me had stopped feeling like a battle some time ago. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly when, but I knew that this was true.
He didn’t feel like a fight anymore. He felt like an oasis in this desert of despair. He felt like sanctuary from the hailstorm of tragedy and trauma that surrounded me. He felt like life and love and completion when I faced nothing but death and decay.
And right now… beneath me… he felt hot and human and oh, so real.
His body was taut and hardened in every way. I relished the touch of his muscle as my fingers brushed over his neck and shoulders. His wide chest pressed into mine and made me feel tiny. His lips moved with this deliciously wicked slowness that unfurled some kind of wanton creature inside me.
This kiss was a declaration of something deeper between us and it had started as a kind of love letter from him to me. But as it continued as his lips worked mine and his tongue drove me to a lust infused madness, it became one of the sexiest experiences of my life.
My entire body tingled from Kane’s touch and bloomed to life above him. My heart beat erratically and my breathing quickened with want.
I knew the moment he felt me change, the moment I gave myself over to the kiss completely because a low rumble of a growl vibrated through his chest and he flipped me over on the couch.
A bed lay not five feet from us, but Kane was content with where we were.
My back hit the soft cushions and a rapid fluttering of butterflies erupted in my belly. He was on top of me in the next second, his thigh sliding between both of mine. One of his arms wrapped securely beneath my waist, lifting me up so that I pressed against him exactly as he wanted me to.
My hands slid back around his neck while he propped himself up with his other arm. His body felt sinfully perfect on top of me. He gave me his weight, pressing me into the couch, but it was pressure I grew hungry for, famished for. I loved the feel of him over me. I loved how tiny he made me feel, how safe and wanted he made me feel.
He continued to kiss me, only now he didn’t confine himself to just my mouth. He let his mouth move over me everywhere. He trailed kisses over the line of my jaw, nibbled on my earlobe, licked at the sensitive spot behind my ear. He kissed and nipped and sucked his way down my neck and across my collarbone. He whispered my name in a reverent prayer and told me how much he loved me over and over and over.
“I’ve dreamed of this,” he rasped against the hollow of my throat. “I’ve wanted this moment since I first laid eyes on you.”
I tried to think of some way to respond, but he pressed his thigh against me and I lost all coherent thought.
“Love me, Reagan,” he pleaded as he nipped at the top of my breast through my thin t-shirt. Just as my brain registered his bite through a series of electric sensations that left me feeling blind and crazed, he moved back to my ear and demanded, “Love me. Love me like I love you. Love me so much that it hurts, that its agony, that you can’t imagine any other way to feel.”
I whimpered at his command, feeling my heart ache in the way he wanted it to. My fingernails dug into his shoulder blades when his mouth returned to mine and stole the response he wanted through hot, fierce kisses and my answering moans.
“Tell me,” he growled. “Say it. Say that you love me.”
The words bubbled up inside of me and sat on my occupied tongue. I couldn’t think straight, I couldn’t wade through my feelings and figure out what I felt or what I wanted to say because his kisses and body had stolen my rational thinking.
All I knew was that he had pulled it from me. Whether I truly loved him or not, I would tell him that I did because I couldn’t not tell him. Not when he kissed me like this. Not when he poured his entire soul into me, drowned me with lust and feeling and a desperation that had become a physical pain spreading through me like wildfire.
“Reagan.”
It was my name on his lips that sent me over the edge of sanity. It was the way he uttered my name and the tone in which he said it.
Nobody could say no to that.
And I was just a girl that had lost everything and teetered on the edge of madness daily. I realized then that I had never stood a chance against Kane Allen.
He had never fought fair and I had never been a strong enough opponent.
But just as I opened my mouth to give him what he wanted, a sharp rapping on the metal door jarred us both back to reality.
My heart pounded frantically from the scare of the knock and Kane went completely still above me. He looked down at me with a mixture of intense loss and fury. With one glance at the door, I knew he was going to murder whoever stood on the other side.
Just like me, they didn’t stand a chance against the force of nature that was Kane Allen. Except that I didn’t think Kane was going to be as nice to them as he was to me.
I seriously doubted the look on his face right now was conveying a planned seduction.
More like murder in the first degree.
“What?” he roared.
“Matthias called an assembly,” the masculine voice answered as calmly as he could under the circumstances, the circumstances being that the voice now knew his days were numbered. “He wants you outside with him.”
Kane hissed a string of curses and closed his eyes. He dropped his forehead to rest on mine and without thinking about it, I tilted my face and kissed him on the nose.
“If I weren’t already planning to, this would have sealed it,” he said in a barely audible voice.
“Sealed what?” I asked.
“Killing Matthias. He deserves to die for this.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “We can come back to this, you know. The end of the world already happened. There’s not much left to stop us.”
He opened his eyes and looked at me seriously. “I need to know that you mean that.”
I placed another kiss on the corner of his mouth and chose not to think about all the reasons this should never happen again. “I mean that.”
He relaxed instantly and turned his head so he could kiss me chastely on the lips. He pulled back then and helped me sit up.
We were several inches apart now and while I adjusted my clothes, I could feel his heated gaze on me, scorching my skin and burning holes through the last of my resistance.
“What?” I asked lightly, hoping to keep the good mood between us.
“Thank you,” he said.
“For what?”
“For giving me the best moment of my life. The greatest gift I’ve ever received.”
I swallowed thickly and finally met his blazing eyes. I couldn’t form words or ev
en think them clearly enough to decide which ones I wanted to say. So I didn’t say anything. I just looked at him. I just held his beautiful, broken gaze and told him everything he wanted to hear without words.
Another slamming fist made us jump and Kane yelled violent obscenities at the men outside.
“We’re coming!” he shouted.
And this time we actually followed through. He slipped on some boots, not bothering with socks and pulled out a locked box that was under the couch. It was full of weapons and ammo. Kane used a key that he had tucked into his pant’s pocket.
Once he was loaded up and our clothes and hair had been smoothed out, we finally left the solitude of our little apartment and followed the three guards downstairs and out the back door.
The compound was immediately familiar to me, but also very different at the same time. Armed men now stood in every hallway and roamed the compound freely, with their guns casually held in their hands and their eyes constantly scanning the crowds of people on the same path we were. Some of them were familiar. Some of them were men Vaughan and Hendrix had trained.
Outside, a chilly breeze blew through the back courtyard and people huddled together all around the walls. The sky overhead had started to darken as the sun began to set.
Matthias stood in the middle of the courtyard, eyeing every single person as if he could see into their souls with just a glance and be able to judge their ultimate worth. I shivered when his stare met mine and he inclined his head in greeting.
Kane walked us over to stand with his mom. I scanned the crowd, immediately looking for all of my friends. It didn’t take long to find them; they were kept together on the opposite side of the square and knelt in the middle of a half-circle of ten guys with loaded guns pointed at the backs of their heads. Their hands were tied behind them. They were completely vulnerable and imprisoned.
I felt sick to my soul.
As soon as we arrived, Matthias had motioned at one of his men to bring something out. I had been too busy looking for Haley, Hendrix and Page to care about what Matthias had up his sleeve. I’d also been pressing my lips together and slightly freaking out over my make-out session with Kane.
I hadn’t felt guilty until this moment, when I was presented with Hendrix. I felt like I wore the make-out on my clothes. Like a scarlet letter A had found its way to my chest and branded me for the skank I was. I suddenly and irrationally felt the need to justify myself to everyone else.
I met Hendrix’s gaze from across the courtyard. He let me soak in his stare for long, endless moments. He didn’t look at Kane and he didn’t offer me any kind of judgment. He just looked at me. He just absorbed me into his consciousness and seemed to study me with all that intensity I knew he was capable of. He offered me a small nod and my feelings spiraled out of control. Why didn’t he judge me? Or hate me with those blue eyes? I felt like a traitor and a cheater and he didn’t seem to notice a difference in me at all.
Those thoughts quickly faded when Matthias’s man brought out the reason for his assembly. I looked around at the faces of all those familiar to me, not just the Parkers and Haley, but all of the people living here that had become so very familiar over the last several months.
I looked at the lone Feeder Matthias had muzzled and restrained.
He was bringing it into our midst. The entire crowd felt his audacity like a slap in the face. The tension in the air became flooded with fear. The people around me couldn’t believe Matthias’s boldness. They were afraid it would get lose. They were afraid it would attack us all.
I knew better.
I knew whatever Matthias had planned was much, much worse.
It wasn’t genocide Matthias was after. It was a message.
He wanted to teach us another lesson.
And those thoughts were confirmed the second another one of Matthias’s men brought out his second prize.
Tyler.
And Gage.
Chapter Four
This could not be happening. I would not let this happen.
Kane’s arms snaked around my waist immediately. He yanked me tightly against his chest and whispered some warning about not making a scene.
Yeah, right.
I knew what this was a set up for. And I would not allow it.
I would not let this happen.
“Reagan, think about this,” Kane whispered in my ear. “If you make a scene now, you condemn them all to die. Let’s figure out what’s going to happen first.”
“He’s going to kill them.”
Kane’s logic echoed around in my head, and I got a glimpse into what his childhood was like when he explained my options, “Right now, it’s Tyler and Gage that die, or it’s every one of your friends. Think carefully and slow down. Just wait, please. Just see what the plan is. Then decide how to act.”
Gage and Tyler were pushed to their knees in front of Matthias. They were badly beat up, much worse than when we left them. Their clothes were bloody and torn. Gage’s right eye was swollen shut, and his nose had bled enough that it caked his mouth and chin. Tyler’s bottom lip had been cut open, and there was a nasty bruise that took up her entire left cheek. Her arm hung at a funny angle, and she limped. I saw Gage flinch and favor one of his sides as they shoved him to the ground.
Fear ignited inside me and burned through my blood. There were no less than fifty emotions coursing through my body, but fear screamed hotter and louder than all of them.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Matthias called out. “Your leader.”
The crowd hissed and booed and grew frenzied with Matthias’s clear disdain for Gage. I looked around incredulously at these idiots.
They had sought shelter here. They had begged and pleaded and bartered for Gage to show them kindness, and they’d taken advantage of all he had to offer. These people had nothing without Gage and yet the minute they were inconvenienced just a little bit, they allowed the enemy to walk in the front gate and take over.
They sickened me. How could they do this? How could they give up on Gage so quickly? How could they embrace evil incarnated?
They did not care.
They just wanted to be safe and kept away from Feeders.
Little did they know they had invited the beasts into their very midst. Matthias wouldn’t keep them safe from Zombies; he would thrust them into the middle of them and demand that they call on him for protection. And they would. They would cry out for their savior, the very man who’d placed them in danger.
Idiots.
All of them.
“Calm down, Reagan. If you react, he will make you suffer. He wants you to react. That’s the whole reason he’s doing this,” Kane murmured into my ear. “Don’t give him the satisfaction. Don’t give him an opportunity to punish you.”
I disagreed with Kane. I didn’t think this was all about me. I knew Matthias wanted to punish Gage for setting up his own community and for possibly enticing Tyler away. But I also knew he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. If he could punish me and hurt Gage, then he would. And he’d enjoy every single moment of it.
“This is your leader!” Matthias shouted at the riled crowd. “This is the man that left you! Left you to go carry off a meaningless crusade! This is the man that ignored you and neglected you and left you to rot and die! He abandoned you while you were vulnerable! He left you to the Feeders. When he finally decided to come back, he couldn’t even protect himself. My men found him easily and subdued him even more easily. This is not the man you want leading you! This is not the man you want to fight at your side! This man is weak! And weakness will not stop the Zombie threat!”
The crowd went wild. They started screaming and cheering and booing Gage. My bottom lashes pooled with tears that soon flowed freely down my cheeks.
I couldn’t abide by this kind of inhumanity. We’d come back to save these people… They didn’t deserve our saving. They didn’t deserve our kindness or generosity or sacrifice.
I h
ad been afraid for them, but they’d already sold their souls to the evil of this world.
I should have been afraid for me.
For those that I loved.
Matthias quieted them with a simple flick of his hand. His hard gaze swept the crowd in every direction and he spoke in a quieter voice, “Not only did this man treat you poorly, but he thought to steal my daughter from me. He kept her prisoner here. He dragged her along with him into terrifying places and risked her life at every turn. And if that wasn’t enough, he took my son too, my baby boy.” His voice cracked dramatically, and he took a few moments to seemingly compose himself while the crowd absorbed his accusations. “This man is a monster. This man doesn’t care about your survival or the survival of the human race. He’s out for his own gain, and if you look at my daughter, then you’ll know he’s willing to do whatever it takes to further his own agenda. My baby girl wasn’t the only victim here. You were victims too. Gage exploited your needs in an effort to control you. Then he took your freedom and turned it into his own power.”
I struggled against Kane’s hold. At first I understood what he told me about pissing his dad off and that I needed to protect Haley and the Parkers. But I could not listen to this anymore. I could not hear these lies and let these people be manipulated any longer.
Matthias wasn’t finished though. I was beginning to be afraid that he would never be finished.
He smiled at the crowd around me and turned up the charm. “Thank you, everyone. Thank you for opening your doors to us. Thank you for giving us a place to stay. And most of all, thank you for giving me a way to find my family and bring them home. I am forever in your debt.”
The crowd went crazy again. They jumped forward and screamed as loudly as they could. They would draw Feeders from every direction if they didn’t quiet down, but trying to tell them that was obviously impossible at this point.
When they softened a little bit, Matthias went on. “For your generosity, I would like to give you a gift. I want to return your hospitality and give you something you’ll never forget.”
Love and Decay, Season Two Omnibus: Episodes 1-12 Page 61