by Jaci Burton
“Only I’m better than he is.” She stuck out her hand. “Nice to meet you, Becks. This is my husband, Aaron.”
So she had a husband. Jealousy crisis averted. Becks shook Aaron’s hand. He was fine-looking. Tall, with blond hair and impressive muscles. “Are you a firefighter, too, Aaron?”
Aaron smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I’m a lieutenant at Station 17.”
“That must be interesting, the two of you doing the same job.”
“I don’t know how I could be with someone who wasn’t,” Callie said. “The crazy schedule, the stress of the job. For me at least, only a fellow firefighter could understand me.”
Becks looked around. She’d wager not everyone here was married to or dating a firefighter. But she understood what Callie was saying. For her, that was what worked.
“It’s obviously working for you,” Becks said.
“For sure. You want to come sit with me in the water, Becks? I’m dying in this heat.”
“Sure.” She gave a look to Jackson, who had already turned away and was deep in conversation with Aaron, so he clearly had no qualms about her spending time with Callie.
She slid out of her shorts and pulled off her tank top, then slid into the water.
Callie was right. It felt much better to be in the pool. They sat on the steps at the shallow end and Becks sipped her beer. Callie had a large ice water.
“So how long have you been a firefighter, Callie?”
“Five years.”
“And do you like it?”
“I love it. I couldn’t think about doing anything else.”
“The guys all say the same thing. It must be in your blood.”
Callie nodded. “My dad was a firefighter. He’s retired now, but watching him while I was growing up made me want to do the same thing.”
“How does he feel about his daughter having the same dangerous job?”
She grinned. “Oh, he’s incredibly proud. I’m the only child, so he figured I’d end up doing something else with my life. When I told him I wanted to be a firefighter I thought he was going to burst, he was so happy.”
“Oh, that’s sweet. How does your mom feel?”
“She, on the other hand, wasn’t as happy. But she understands the desire since she’s lived with my dad all these years. It’s a calling.”
Becks didn’t understand that calling, but she definitely respected it. “I appreciate the work you all do.”
“Thanks.” Callie blew out a breath. “This heat is killing me. Which is crazy since I’m around the heat all the time at my job.”
“We could go inside if the humidity is bothering you.”
“It’s not that. But yeah, let’s do that.”
“No problem.” Becks got out of the pool and grabbed a couple of the towels that were stacked on a nearby table. She handed one to Callie. They dried off and headed inside.
“This is so much better,” Callie said as she finished drying off her legs. “For some reason this first trimester is messing with my metabolism.”
“Oh, you’re pregnant.”
“Yes.”
Becks grinned. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks. I just told everyone at the station this past week. I just passed my twelfth week and everything’s good.”
“Let’s go sit down in the living room. It’s really cool in there.”
“Sure.”
They laid their towels over the leather and took a seat.
“This is probably the least feminist thing I’ll ever utter,” Becks said. “But do you still get to do your job?”
Callie laughed. “It’s okay to ask that. What we do is risky as hell. But yes, I’ll still get to do my job, at least until sometime in the third trimester where my center of gravity will make me too top-heavy to drag hose. Then I’ll probably have to ride a desk until I go on maternity leave. The current me says bullshit, I can do anything up until the time I give birth. I’m sure three or four months from now I’ll be happy to take my swollen ankles to the desk and keep my baby safe.”
Becks couldn’t imagine being a pregnant firefighter, but at the same time she truly believed women could do anything. “There’s no doubt you could fight fires all the way up until you deliver. You seem strong and capable. I mean, look at your muscle definition, girl.”
Callie held up her arm and flexed her biceps. “Yeah, firefighting keeps us in shape, for sure. You don’t look too bad yourself. And that ink is beautiful.”
“Thanks.” So, okay, she’d been jealous when she first saw Callie talking to Jackson, which was her own fault because she never judged people on appearances. She should know better. “Jackson tells me you two dated for a while. Is that awkward since you two work together?”
“He told you, huh?” Callie let out a short laugh. “Good for him. I love how honest he is. Sometimes too honest.”
“In what way?”
“Working together while we dated was rough. There was no denying it. Fortunately we were both young and just in it for the fun. Jackson knows how to have fun. You know that, of course.”
Becks smiled. “Yes, I do.”
“But we could both tell after a while it wasn’t the right fit. I was looking for something more, and he was up-front and honest about not wanting anything serious. So we agreed it was better if we went back to being friends.”
She made it sound so easy. “So it was a mutual thing, then. With no hard feelings between you?”
Callie lay back on the arm of the sofa, yawned and nodded. “Yup. Easiest breakup I ever had, to be honest. He’s a great guy, Becks. He’s just wasn’t my guy. And as soon as I started dating Aaron, I knew the difference between playing around and playing for keeps. You know?”
She didn’t know, to be honest. She’d never been in love. Like Callie, she’d had fun. She’d had sex. She’d been in lust.
But love? Love meant putting your whole heart in someone’s care. And that meant someone had the power to throw you away. She’d had plenty of that in her lifetime and never wanted to experience it again.
Yet tonight she’d looked forlornly at the door as Jackson sat with Callie and had felt as if she were being tossed aside, once again. Not Jackson’s or Callie’s fault, of course, because it had all been in her own head.
Still, she hadn’t liked feeling that way. And if this was what caring about someone felt like, she wanted no part of it.
Maybe it was time to back off her relationship with Jackson, start putting some distance between them. She had to protect her heart so she wouldn’t get hurt.
She turned to talk to Callie, who was curled up and sound asleep.
She smiled. Yeah, that heat was rough, and pregnancy must be exhausting. She got up and quietly left the room.
Jackson was just coming into the kitchen along with Callie’s husband, Aaron.
“Hi. Have you seen Callie?” Aaron asked.
“She fell asleep. She’s in the living room.” Becks hooked her thumb over her shoulder.
Aaron’s lips curved. “She passes out at the drop of a hat as soon as she sits down these days.”
“She got hot outside.”
“I’ll go check on her. Thanks, Becks.”
Aaron left the room.
Jackson moved over to the oven and took the chicken skewers out.
“I’m gonna make a pot of rice,” Jackson said, smiling as he lifted his gaze to hers. “Keep me company.”
Oh, that smile. No wonder she had such trouble keeping her emotions in check around him. She had all these thoughts about big things she needed to talk to him about. Uncomfortable things. And yet, one look from him and all she could think about was wrapping her hand around the back of his neck and drawing him close so she could kiss him.
So much for her distance resolve. Where was her determination?
<
br /> “I thought I’d put together a fruit salad to go with all of this,” she said, hoping to keep her mind—and her hands—out of trouble. “It’ll help cool everyone off.”
“Great idea.”
She had picked up a watermelon yesterday, so she chopped that up, along with oranges, strawberries, cantaloupe and grapes. She stuck the bowl in the fridge to let it get cold, then washed her hands.
Jackson had the rice going in the cooker and was placing plates and utensils on the island. Becks grabbed the napkins.
“I’m sure everyone’s hungry,” she said. “The chicken smells really good.”
“Thanks.” He turned to her, surprising her by sliding his hand around her waist and drawing her against him. “Sorry again for turning this into a big party instead of a night for just the two of us.”
“Hey, I told you before I had no problem with this.”
“But I do.” His hands traveled down over her hips, and it was all she could do to remember that whole resolve and distance thing. “I wanted to be alone with you, cook you dinner, mess around a little.”
She shuddered as she drew in a breath. It was hard to keep your distance from someone you’d been crazy about for more than half your life. “We can still mess around a little later.”
He walked her back a few steps until she was pressed against the kitchen counter. “I’ll hold you to that.”
And then he kissed her, and just like every kiss he’d given her since the first one, it was melting hot. But not the kind of summer heat you wanted to get away from. This was the kind of heat she wanted to draw closer to, to climb inside it and wallow in it until it liquefied her from the inside out.
When the back door opened and they heard the voices of people coming inside, Jackson stepped away from her. But not before she saw that intense heat in his eyes and knew he felt the same way.
Damn.
She quickly turned and walked away from him.
The crowd piled in and Jackson and his brothers laid the food out. Becks grabbed the fruit salad and a serving spoon and put that out as well. The guys had made plenty of chicken skewers, Jackson’d made a double batch of jasmine rice and she’d made a huge bowl of fruit, so there was more than enough food. She waited along with the guys until each of the guests filled their plates.
“Hey,” Kal said, turning to her. “Get yourself something to eat.”
She laid her hand on his arm. “I’m good. You go.”
“We go after you,” Rafe said.
With a sigh, she reached for a plate and placed a couple of skewers on there, then some rice and fruit salad.
She found a spot to sit. Callie had come in with Aaron, obviously having woken from her nap. Becks sat with Callie on one side of her and Rafe on the other. Callie made sure to introduce her to a few other people she hadn’t met yet.
“This is Penny Pressman. She’s married to Ethan, who rides with me on Ladder 6.”
“Nice to meet you, Penny.”
“You, too.”
“Becks is Jackson’s girlfriend.”
Ethan, a tall, fine-looking guy, leaned forward on the other side of Penny. “No shit. Jackson’s got a girlfriend?”
She was about to correct Callie and point out that they hadn’t defined their relationship yet, but suddenly there were about ten sets of eyes all trained on Jackson, who was leaning against the kitchen counter shoveling food into his mouth.
“What?” he asked.
“You didn’t tell us you had a girlfriend,” Ethan said.
“Wait,” another guy said. “You have a girlfriend? Since when?”
Jackson looked over at Becks. She hoped he didn’t think she was the one who’d started all of the girlfriend talk. But trying to explain that in front of everyone would be weird, so all she could do was just shrug.
“I told them,” Callie said.
Jackson changed his focus from Becks to Callie. “What the hell did you do that for?”
“Because you are dating Becks,” Rafe said. “Is it some kind of secret?”
He shot a frown over at Rafe. “Well . . . no.”
Rafe rolled his eyes. “Then quit acting like we just told everyone you had herpes. Chill, dude.”
Becks suddenly wanted to be invisible. Or come up with some kind of excuse to disappear from this house—and from Jackson’s life—forever. She’d never been more embarrassed.
“Hey, everyone. I’m dating Becks. She’s the beautiful woman sitting next to Callie. I’m sorry I didn’t send out a mass text about it. Probably because it’s none of your damn business. Now eat and leave her alone.”
Callie laughed and nudged Becks with her shoulder. “He likes you.”
“I want to die right now.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s probably pissed off that he was called out about me.”
“He’s not pissed. Well maybe he’s pissed off, but if he is, he’s mad at me. And I don’t care.”
Callie seemed relaxed and not at all concerned about Jackson. Then again, she wasn’t dating him.
For that matter, Becks wasn’t sure she was dating him, either. And that was the problem. People knew about them when they hadn’t even had an opportunity to talk about what was going on between them.
“Slide down, Aaron,” Jackson said, easing onto the sofa next to Becks after Rafe got up.
Becks stared down at her plate, at the food that a few minutes ago had looked so appetizing but now seemed impossible to eat because a lump the size of a boulder sat in the middle of her stomach.
She was surprised Jackson even wanted to sit next to her considering all that had just gone down.
“Sorry about all that,” he said, leaning over to press a kiss to her cheek. “Some people”—he gave a look to Callie—“just can’t seem to keep their noses in their own business.”
Callie seemed utterly unaffected by the way he glared at her. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, Jackson.”
“You know I could put you on mopping duty next shift.”
She laughed. “You could, but you won’t, because you want me on grocery shopping duty so you’ll have something to eat besides cereal for dinner.”
“Hey, I don’t buy only cereal,” Kal said. “I buy eggs, too.”
Callie leaned her head back since Kal was behind her. “You’re a terrible shopper, Kal.”
And just like that, they’d launched into another argument, with all the firefighters talking over each other about what they wanted on the grocery list for next shift.
“Anyway,” Jackson said. “I hope you’re not mad.”
She slid sideways to search his face. “You thought I was mad? I thought you were pissed. At me.”
“Why would I—?”
He took her hand and hauled her up. She almost dropped the contents of the plate she’d been balancing on her lap, but Jackson scooped it up with his other hand and easily dealt with it.
“You didn’t eat,” he said, moving her away from the crowd still noisily talking over each other.
“I . . . lost my appetite.”
“The chicken was good. You should eat.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m fine.”
He slid her plate onto the corner of the kitchen counter on their way out of the room and into the game room, where they were alone. He sat her down on one of the sofas in there and took a spot next to her.
“I’m not mad at you. I’m a little ticked off at Callie for thinking that my relationship with you is anyone else’s business.”
“I didn’t tell her we were dating. Or anything else. She just assumed, I guess.”
“It’s not hard to figure out we’re together, so it’s no big deal. It’s just that everyone at the station likes to be in everyone else’s business. And I like my personal life to stay that way
.”
“I understand.” She made a mental note to try hard to move up her moving-out plans. The sooner it didn’t appear as if she were shacking up with Jackson, the better it would be for him. He did, after all, have a position of authority at the fire station. He didn’t need the people who reported to him giving him a bunch of shit about housing the chick they’d saved from a fire.
He smoothed a lock of her hair away from her face. “What are you worried about?”
“Me? Nothing.”
“You’re quiet. Talk to me.”
“I just think it would be best if I got out of here sooner rather than later. I don’t want to cause trouble for you.”
He leaned back against the sofa cushion. “Why do you think you’re causing trouble? Because they were teasing me out there?”
“Yes.”
“Becks. We all tease each other, especially when one of us is serio— is dating someone. It’s all good natured and fun. Especially when we’re off duty. When I said I keep my private life private, it just means that at work, my expectation is that we have to take the job seriously.”
“I understand that. I don’t want to get in the way.”
“You’re not in the way. And you have a space here as long as you want it.”
“I don’t know, Jackson. For as long as I can remember, I’ve made it my personal mission to become invisible when the situation called for it.”
He moved forward, taking her hand. “And you think this is one of those situations. Because someone called you my girlfriend.”
“I . . . guess so. I don’t know. I’ve never been close to someone before. I never lived with someone. Not that we’re living together or anything. I mean, we live in the same house, but we’re not.” She put her hands over her face. “I’m screwing this up.”
He pulled her hands away from her face and tipped her chin up to meet his smiling gaze. “No, you’re not.”
“And you think I’m funny.”
“I do think you’re funny. And beautiful. And I’m listening to you. Go on.”
She sighed. “I’ve been on my own my whole life, you know? I don’t know how to do this.”
“How to do what?”
“How to be with someone. How to be your girlfriend, or to date you, or whatever it is that we’re actually doing.”