Waiting in the Wings

by Melissa Brayden

  I nodded reluctantly and placed a small kiss on her chin.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to ravish you right here and now, but we haven’t even gone on a first date yet. And although you may not realize it based on my recent behavior”—she traced the outline of my jaw with her finger—“I’m an old-fashioned kind of girl.”

  “You are, huh?”

  “Yes, I am. And if I’m going to woo you with my money and celebrity, we better get a move on. Our yacht awaits.”

  “You rented an entire yacht?”

  “Well, no, but two very fancy plastic seats on one.”

  “Good enough for me,” I laughed.

  *

  The pier was bustling and crowded with all types of people. No doubt the weather was a big draw. The skies were sunny and the temperature an even seventy degrees. Days weren’t made much nicer than this, I thought to myself, looking out across the water. We strolled down the long pier, casually perusing the windows of the various boutiques along the way. Adrienne was only recognized a handful of times and obliged the admirers with an autograph or photo. I made sure to keep my hands to myself now that we were in public. I understood the situation Adrienne was in as a well-known celebrity with a career to look out for, and didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that for her. I could behave when called upon.

  “Oh look, we have to get one of these!” Adrienne said, pointing to the airbrush tattoo stand and dragging me toward it. “Ever since I was sixteen I’ve wanted a tattoo. They’re just a pain in the ass to cover up for wardrobe.”

  “You can always have one discreetly placed, you know.”

  “I know and I’ve thought about it. I just worry I’d regret it later. They’re just so, well, permanent. There’s no going back from something like that, you know? I wish I had the courage. Do you have any tattoos?” Before I could answer, she cut me off. “Wait, don’t tell me. There are some things I’d like to discover for myself.” My eyes widened and she grinned back at me mercilessly, running her fingers up and down my arm. “Come on; let’s see what they’ve got.”

  We turned to the displays of temporary tattoos and began the selection process. Adrienne quickly zeroed in on the Superman logo. “If I wasn’t an actress, I’d want to be a superhero,” she said very seriously. “Do you think they’re paid well?”

  “If they’re good, sure. But you can’t be flying into walls all the time. You’d have to work at it.”

  She nodded. “Good point. I’ll put that on my to-do list. In the meantime, I’m gonna get this baby.” She pointed out the Superman logo to the airbrush artist and I sat back and watched as Adrienne had what would be a weeklong tattoo applied to the front of her right hip. I had to admit, it looked incredibly sexy when it was finished. “I hope this thing comes with the powers. Your turn. What’s it going to be?”

  I proudly presented the small shamrock I had selected. “Speaking of powers, don’t underestimate those of the Irish.”

  “Touché.”

  I tried not to laugh as the design was airbrushed to the front of my left hip, but it seriously tickled. Adrienne studied my new art. “That looks hot. You should consider getting a real one.”

  “Oh, you never know. Maybe one day.”

  We arrived at the gangway in just enough time to board the Pride of Chicago before the yacht set out for the two-hour sightseeing cruise. We found a quaint table for two at the back of the deck and politely turned down the complimentary champagne in favor of sparkling white grape juice. I lifted my glass and regarded Adrienne, who looked back at me expectantly, a smile touching her lips. “To a beautiful day and even more beautiful company. I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be.”

  She held my gaze. “I’ll second that.”

  Our glasses gently touched and I sipped the sweet grape juice, gazing out at the water. Our surroundings—the blue sky, the lapping water—were all incredibly relaxing. I felt comfortable with Adrienne, but was at the same time excited to be with her. On a date. I had no idea where this was all going, but I began to realize I might be more interested than I had thought. That worried me a little and I made a silent promise to myself to not get carried away.

  “So tell me more about yourself, Jenna.” Adrienne pulled me abruptly from my thoughts. “I know you’re a recent Cincinnati grad, but where are you from originally?”

  “Boston. I spent most of my growing up years there with my family.”

  “Brothers or sisters?”

  “Nope. I was the spoiled only child. I’m lucky in that I’m close with both of my parents who, in a rare feat these days, are still married. They were the ones who first introduced me to theater when I was five and Starlight Express came through town. Dad bought tickets and we sat in the fourth row.”

  “And then?”

  “I caught the bug then and there. I was sold. I knew what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. It made them nervous when I told them I wanted to give acting a shot, but they were also very supportive. It was nice to know I had a soft place to fall when things didn’t go my way in an audition, and they were always there to celebrate with me when they did. They’re good people, my role models even.”

  “You’re lucky. That’s how it should be.” But there was rigidity to her posture and a distant look in her eye that made me think I’d hit a nerve. I remembered our earlier conversation about Adrienne’s difficult relationship with her parents and internally winced at my misstep.

  “I’m sorry it wasn’t the same for you. Do you mind if I ask how you got started?”

  She shrugged, but the hurt in her eyes said it all. “My mother took me on my first audition for a cereal commercial at five years old. A guy at the grocery store gave her his card and told her I had a face that could make her some money. She saw dollar signs and jumped.” Adrienne shook her head as if still mystified at the notion. “I landed the job and life was never the same. Every day after school, I was shepherded to a different casting call. If I landed the part, there was rarely any excitement. I’d done my job. If I didn’t, there was always the laundry list of things that were wrong with me: not pretty enough, not funny enough, not talented enough. The silent treatment was big in my household too. If I wasn’t working, it was like I didn’t exist. The message was clear.” She lifted one shoulder and let it drop. “It wasn’t the warmest way to grow up, feeling like a disappointment.”

  I covered her hand with mine. It looked like she was fighting tears, but I couldn’t be sure. “It may not have always seemed like it, but I’m sure your parents loved you, Adrienne.”

  She looked me in the eye. “Well, that makes one of us.” She seemed to shake off the weight of the conversation then and brightened noticeably. “Things are getting a little too serious. You know what I’d much rather hear about? The vicious rumor that you’re a reality TV junkie. Please say it isn’t so.”

  “But that would be denying one of the greatest guilty pleasures ever invented and I simply cannot, will not, do that.”

  She studied me and her eyes crinkled in amusement. “You’re cute when you’re opinionated.”

  “I have a lot of opinions.”

  Adrienne laughed and finished her grape juice with one toss back of her head. She was glamour personified and didn’t seem to know it. This was going to be a great afternoon.

  *

  I heard my cue from the wings but realized I was still several moments away from completing my costume change. My second show was not going as well as my first. In my third scene, I’d loudly smacked my live mic while gesturing. I later tripped on a well-marked set piece because I was apparently clumsy all of a sudden, and now I was missing my quick change. Despite the remaining buttons that were clearly in an open line down the back of my dress, I ran onstage, late for my line by at least ten seconds. Luckily, Ben had been on his toes enough to ad lib a little until I made my entrance. As I turned to face Adrienne, I noticed the glint of amusement in her eyes as it was clear she’d noticed the unbuttoned dress. I did
everything I could to keep the audience from seeing the back of my costume and luckily escaped from the scene undetected, but it had been unnerving.

  I had to face facts. I hadn’t been focused. My mind was still on the afternoon and it hadn’t officially shown up to work. I was still theoretically back on that harbor cruise staring into Adrienne’s captivating green eyes. Because of that, I allowed myself to drop the ball, and it couldn’t happen again. I was furious at myself for not concentrating on my job. This was what I was afraid would happen and the reason I told myself, before arriving on the tour, to keep my life about work. Everything else just got in the way.

  At the show’s conclusion, I stormed back to my dressing room and began the ritual of changing back into Jenna, soon-to-be-unemployed actress. It was only ten minutes before Craig tapped on the door and made his way over to my dressing table. The look I gave him must have given me away.

  “Oh, come on. It wasn’t that bad. Yeah, you had a couple of track issues with entrances and exits, but your actual performance was above and beyond.”

  “Don’t bullshit me, Craig. I was a train wreck. You know it and I know it.” I was near tears and didn’t care if he saw. “Now please give me my notes so I can go kill myself.” I threw my head dramatically onto the dressing table.

  “Take it easy. You have a few things to learn still. Is that really news to you? Did you think you were going to be an instant pro?”

  “Yes,” I answered meekly, my head still on the table.

  “Let’s see if I can help with a few things.”

  I sat up and listened to the fifteen minutes of notes Craig had for me regarding improvements I could make both on and offstage. I made sure to write down everything he gave me and planned to stay up studying the notes until there was no question I had them down.

  As I passed through the greenroom on the way out of the theater, I saw Adrienne in the midst of conversation with Lanie and Ben. When she saw me approach, she excused herself and headed my way. As she saw my face, her expression changed to one of sympathy.

  “Hey there.”

  “Hi.”

  “You look a little bummed.”

  “You could say that.”

  “If it makes you feel better, my first week in the show was ten times worse. At one point, I forgot the words to the finale and hummed my way through the second verse.”

  “Thank you for saying that.” I was trying to be polite but wanted to get out of there. I didn’t feel much like talking. I was pissed off at myself and probably just needed to be alone.

  “Tell you what. Come to my room in a little bit and we can curl up and watch a movie, forget about tonight.”

  “No, I can’t tonight. Another time.” I stepped backward. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Jenna, wait a sec—”

  “Look, lay off, all right? I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t know how I can make that more clear to you.” I realized I’d said that a lot harsher than I meant to. Adrienne looked surprised at my outburst, but I didn’t hang around for her response, heading out into the cool night air. I signed a few playbills at the stage door, doing my best to be cheerful to the gracious fans of the show who had waited to meet the cast. I began my walk back to the hotel, alone with my thoughts. I could be moody. It was a side of myself I wasn’t overly proud of, but there were times in life you just needed space, and feeling like a loser was one of those times. I hadn’t gotten two blocks before the guilt of how I’d reacted set in. I shouldn’t have taken out my frustration on Adrienne and I knew it. I was blaming her for being my distraction, but it wasn’t her fault. I’d wanted to spend time with her. I still did. I let my head drop as the full realization of what an ass I’d been set in. I’d apologize tomorrow. Hopefully, she had a soft spot for grovelers.

  When I got back to my room, I made a beeline for the shower, shedding my clothes as I went. I turned on the water as hot as I could stand it. As I stood under that stream, I replayed the events of the day in my head. They went from amazing to disastrous in one fell swoop. It was clear to me that managing the excitement Adrienne elicited in me and the job I had to do in the show was not going to be as easy as I had planned. I needed to be more responsible mentally and prepare myself properly for work, Adrienne or not.

  I put on shorts and a tank and sat on the bed, pouring through the notes I was given. I went through the show one scene at a time. I’d always been a bit of a dork when it came to homework. In essence, I always did it. After going through the notes once, I went through them again. Then I made myself a detailed outline of my track in the show and a checklist to work through before going on each night.

  I rubbed the back of my neck where a nagging pain had taken up residence. I glanced at the clock. One thirty-eight a.m. I knew I should do my best to catch some z’s but I couldn’t stop thinking of how I’d left things with Adrienne earlier. It was uncool how I had acted. I threw myself back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Was it possible she was still up? Even if she were, was she still speaking to me? I threw an orange into the air and mulled it over. I decided to risk it. As I walked down the hall to Adrienne’s room, I started to feel like maybe this was a bad idea. She might be more understanding if I didn’t drag her away from well-needed sleep so I could feel a little less guilt-ridden before morning. But I had to face it. That wasn’t the entire reason for my trip. I also wanted to see her, plain and simple.

  I stood in front of her door a moment before finally knocking softly. I heard movement from inside and took a deep breath when I heard the door begin to open. And then there she was. Her hair was pulled up and she wore shorts and a Yankees T-shirt. She looked completely cute. She studied me for a moment, leaning against the door as if she wasn’t sure what to say. Before she could say anything, I held up my hands in surrender. “If I had a white flag, I would wave it.”

  “You don’t need a white flag,” she answered softly.

  “Still, I’m sorry I spoke to you the way I did at the theater. I shouldn’t have. I just wanted to say that before I went to sleep. I’m also sorry for waking you, if I did. I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow. I’m going now. Um, good night…yeah.” Not sure what to do with myself, and realizing I was clearly the biggest dork on the planet, I turned to go. Her voice stopped me.

  “I’m a night owl. You didn’t wake me.” She grabbed the front of my shirt and gently pulled me inside. “Come in, let’s talk.”

  I walked into her room, once again noticing the perks it seemed to have over mine. “You have a coffeemaker.” I pointed to the pot on the vanity as she dragged me past. “I totally have to go to the lobby for coffee.”

  “Top billing has its benefits.”

  “That it does.”

  Adrienne sat on the bed and tugged on my arm for me to sit beside her. I couldn’t completely read her features as the room was only illuminated by a small desk lamp. But from what I could tell, she looked serious. An uncomfortable feeling crept into the pit of my stomach.

  She took a breath before speaking. “Jenna, I need you to know you can talk to me. We’re friends. So what’s going on?”

  I took a deep breath, not exactly sure how to begin. “My head wasn’t in the game tonight. I had a horrible show because I let myself get preoccupied. I reacted the way I did in the greenroom because I guess I partially blamed you for being that distraction. It’s twisted and stupid and I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault.” I felt oddly shy all of a sudden.

  Her answer was to lean in and slowly brush her lips against mine. She pulled back an inch or so to look into my eyes. “Thank you. And if it helps, I get it. It’s the main reason we should keep things between us light. We like each other. Let’s explore that, but we don’t have to get caught up.” I nodded my agreement, knowing it was the best course of action.

  Adrienne’s tone lightened considerably. “Wanna watch a little of my movie with me?” I followed her gaze to the TV where she had a DVD player hooked up. “I’m watching Speed. Not for the fa
int of heart.”

  “Speed? As in Keanu-Reeves-on-a-bus-Speed?”

  “Yep. Does that surprise you?”

  “Actually, it does. You don’t strike me as an action type of girl.”

  “That only goes to show you have a lot left to learn about me. I’ll keep you on your toes, woman.”

  “So I’m finding out.”

  We curled up on the bed and settled into the movie. Adrienne threw an arm around my waist and nestled her head on my shoulder. Already I was feeling better and enjoyed holding her, being close. I tried my damndest to concentrate on Keanu Reeves and his out of control bus, but it became increasingly more difficult fifteen minutes later when Adrienne moved her hand from my waist to rest on my bare thigh, just below the hemline of my shorts. I wasn’t sure if she was aware of the effect she had on me or not. I decided to play it cool and focus on the television rather than the feel of her warm hand on my skin. But as her thumb started to trace light circles across my thigh, that got considerably harder to do. In response, I let my hand move into her hair and play loosely against the back of her neck. She inhaled slightly at the contact. Neither of us spoke, and I pretended to focus on the film. Adrienne moved her hand from my thigh to my stomach, pushing up my shirt slightly and running her nails back and forth along the plains of my abdomen. I closed my eyes briefly and stilled myself from too big a reaction. I wasn’t sure what was happening between us, or what her intentions were for the night so I was hesitant to take too many liberties. But I also realized she wasn’t leaving me many options. In about two minutes, I wasn’t sure I’d be in control of my actions. I still hadn’t taken my eyes from the TV screen. I moved my hands from Adrienne’s hair to the back of her T-shirt, making contact with the warm skin at the small of her back. I pulled her closer against me and ran my fingertips along the inside waistband of her shorts. At the audible gasp, I couldn’t resist anymore and looked down at her. She raised her head and looked back at me, her eyes dark and heavy. We stared at each other in silence for a moment. Adrienne turned off the movie with the remote control and we moved to each other. Waiting was forgotten. Adrienne’s hands went to my face and cupped it as her lips met mine. She moved her body on top of me and the weight of her elicited a moan from the back of my throat. As our legs intertwined, it occurred to me I might self-combust in response to the sensations it caused. I pushed my tongue into her mouth and was greeted with a muted cry. I moved my hands up her back, fully beneath her T-shirt, and I was pleased to discover she was wearing no bra. I tentatively traced the outsides of her breasts.