“I’m not sure you really feel that way, but it’s nice of you to say. I know she didn’t make the best impression on you, but once you get to know her, she’s a fascinating person. I think you two would hit it off if you gave her a chance.”
“I’m sure that’s true, and I will,” I said quietly. But I wasn’t listening as intently as I should have been because of the way Adrienne’s hair fell across her forehead. It was my natural instinct to run my fingers through it, smooth it aside affectionately. Somehow, that wouldn’t have been appropriate in the given situation.
Adrienne must have sensed my distraction. We looked at each other, not quite sure where to go. She took a sip of wine and I looked back out over the water.
“So I hear congratulations are in order.” She seemed to be doing her best to steer us back on course. “I know it hasn’t been announced yet, but a little bird told me you’re doing Elevation. I couldn’t believe the way it played out. That’s probably the best casting story I’ve ever heard. I’m so happy for you. You’re going to be awesome.”
All of a sudden I was excited all over again. Adrienne’s enthusiasm was definitely contagious. “You’re the reason it all came together, you know. I owe you one.”
She shook her head. “For the record, I may have given the casting director your name, Jenna, but he’s the one I was doing the favor for. You’re the catch, not him.”
It meant a lot to me to hear her say that. “Thank you for believing in me when I was skeptical. I just can’t express how it feels to have everything come together like this.”
Resignation flickered behind her eyes. “Everything happens for a reason.”
“I guess it does.” I felt that familiar, wistful lump in my throat.
“So have you had a chance to talk with everyone, the old crowd?” she asked.
“I haven’t and I’ve been looking forward to seeing those guys all day. Are they here?”
“Yep, they grabbed a table to the right of the cake. You should go say hi.”
“I think I will.” I pushed off the railing and moved toward the door. “Coming?” I asked, looking back.
“You know what? You go on ahead. I’m going to take in this view for a few more minutes.” She turned back to the setting sun, and the image of her at that railing stopped me in my tracks. I made a point to memorize the visual of her body, partially silhouetted by the pinks and oranges of the colorful sky and the water glistening below. She was a vision if I’d ever seen one, and I felt a warmth flood my body. Stop right there, Tiger.
Somewhat dazed, I made my way to the bar and ordered myself a vodka martini, vowing this would be my last drink of the evening. After all, I was here for Lanie and wanted to be responsible and available for anything she needed. I scanned the crowd, locating her speaking with an older couple across the room. Meeting my eyes, she offered the thumbs up signal, the sign we’d agreed upon earlier for “everything’s great.” I nodded my understanding and moved through the room in hopes of finding my old friends. It didn’t take long.
As my eyes met Georgette’s, we both let out a squeal. She threw her arms around me and I stumbled backward, laughing all the while. “Georgie, I’ve missed you!”
“I know. We don’t get together enough. I blame you, even though it’s my fault. What’s new?”
“Not much. I just wrapped a film, Phase Two, and I’m looking for what’s next. Are you still with Mamma Mia in New York?
“Negative. I’m tired of chorus work, sister. I want to get in with Rory Lynden’s new show, Elevation. Very dance heavy. I’ve heard they’ve already found their lead, but the show comes with some nice supporting roles and I have a callback audition in a week and a half. Cross your fingers for me.”
“I will.” I decided not to say anything about my involvement with Elevation at that point. I hadn’t officially signed the contract yet, though it was in my possession. It felt like it would be in better form to wait until the ink was dry. Before I could ask Georgette any more questions, Kyle approached. I grinned at my old buddy.
“Oh my God, I see a famous movie star,” Kyle said, moving toward me with open arms. “Can I get an autograph?”
“No, but you can shut up with that.” I squeezed him tight.
“Oh, and she’s still feisty.”
“You know it.” Kyle was one friend I hadn’t seen since I’d left the tour, and I deeply regretted that. I’d heard through Lanie that he and Craig had settled down and distanced themselves from theater a bit and started their own production company in New York. There was no good reason I hadn’t been to see them, other than the fact I was wrapped up with work. It was stupid and I knew it.
Kyle and Georgette ushered me over to their table where I greeted several more old friends from Clean Slate. It was crazy, all of us together again. I scanned the faces gathered around the table, offering waves and hugs until my eyes landed on the one person I did not want to see, Sienna Ivy. Oh goody. She smiled tentatively, which was a first for her as far as I was concerned. I was tempted to ask her how it felt. “Hi, Jenna, how are you?”
So we were going to be civil? That’s fine. I could play nice. We were, after all, adults gathered for the sake of our common friends. “Fine, and you?”
“I’m great. Thank you for asking.”
Well, enough with the fake pleasantries, I had fulfilled my obligatory hello and now had nothing further to say to Sienna. Instead, I sat with my old friends and spent the next forty-five minutes catching up on all the latest gossip and news. It turned out to be a lot of fun. Even Lanie and Ben came by and were able to spare a few minutes to catch up. As we reminisced about old times, Lanie stood behind me with her hands on my shoulders. During a lull in conversation she leaned down and whispered in my ear. “You know, Adrienne’s across the room talking to my mother. You should go talk to her.”
“We’ve already spoken.”
“And?”
“And nothing. Now she’s over there talking to your mom and I’m hanging out over here.”
“I want you to dance with her.”
“What?”
“You heard me. As a wedding present. I want you to dance with Adrienne.”
I turned around and looked at her incredulously. “You have to be kidding. No. Absolutely not. She has a date with her. It would be rude.”
She raised her eyebrow. “Have I been a very demanding bride? Have I asked you to do so very much in your duties as my maid of honor?”
I sighed. She hadn’t and in her defense, she didn’t know about the incident with Adrienne at the restaurant. “No, but—”
“But nothing. Do it. It’s your job to be at my beck and call today.”
I sighed. “One dance and you’ll drop the matchmaker routine?”
“That’s all I’m asking for,” she said, as if it were the easiest thing in the world.
“Fine, but if she says no I still get credit. And she will say no.”
“She won’t, but it’s a deal.” She looked past me over my shoulder. “And you happen to be in luck because she’s on her way over here right now.”
Fabulous. I turned around and smiled quickly at Adrienne before stepping out of the way so she could speak to Lanie. “You make an absolutely beautiful bride,” Adrienne said as she kissed Lanie’s cheek. “Benjamin is a lucky man.”
“Thank you, and thanks so much for coming. It wouldn’t have been the same without you here. Ben considers you one of his best friends.”
“I feel the same way. I wouldn’t have missed it.”
It was then that Lanie began to put her plan into action. “Oh, I love this song. Don’t you love this song, Jen?”
I listened as the quartet played the intro to “The Way You Look Tonight.” I forced a smile and nodded at Lanie, all the while trying to find a way to murder her with my eyes. “It’s a classic.”
“I’m going to grab Ben and head out there. It was great seeing you hoodlums again. Let’s catch up some more later.” And with that, she
was off.
I felt nervous. It was stupid, I know, but it was there all the same. I decided to just go for it. Rip it off like a Band-Aid. I took a step toward Adrienne who regarded me curiously. I leaned in so our friends wouldn’t overhear the exchange. “It is a pretty good song. We should dance.”
She looked like a deer caught in headlights and I immediately felt so ridiculous for having asked and horrible for putting her on the spot. I was supposed to be doing everything in my power to put our friendship back in place after all I’d done to disassemble it. And you know what? Friends didn’t slow dance. She probably thought I was crazy. At least Lanie wouldn’t be able to hold this over my head later. I had fulfilled my responsibility.
“All right.” She looked guarded and about as unsure as I felt.
I was stunned. “Are you sure Kim won’t mind?”
“She’s been in the corner talking to that friend of hers for the past half hour. Plus, she doesn’t dance.” She took my hand and led me out onto the dance floor. We fit together easily, but that didn’t surprise me; we always had. As Adrienne and I began to dance, my mind struggled to identify the very intense emotion I was feeling and came up with one answer: fear. This was dangerous ground. My stomach squeezed in that familiar, terrifying, wonderful way and I felt slightly dizzy at the nearness of her. The song played on and then something happened that was quite unexpected. I began to relax. Something about being held by Adrienne, about holding her in return, was all it took to calm my nerves and slow my thoughts. I felt a sense of safety, of trust. We swayed to the music, our bodies lightly touching and her cheek an inch from mine. This was familiar and wonderful and I didn’t want it to end. I allowed myself to enjoy the dance and relish the moment, rather than analyzing it in the scheme of things, a frequent pastime of mine lately.
“You still wear the same perfume as when I first met you,” she commented quietly.
I pulled my head back, looked at her, and nodded. “And you still use the same shampoo.”
“Yeah, I guess I do.”
We danced in silence. I could feel her heart beating and that made me pull her in closer. She didn’t seem to mind and positioned her face very close my neck. I felt her breath across my skin and my body began to stir with an aching need for more of her. The song wasn’t over, but I felt her grow still in my arms. She took a step back and my body seemed to cry out at the loss of contact. “I should check on Kim.” Adrienne looked distressed as she backed away and I felt instantly guilt ridden for taking advantage of the situation.
I nodded my understanding and watched her exit the dance floor, leaving me out there alone. I gathered myself and walked over to the bar. It wasn’t alcohol I was after, but something a little more refreshing. I ordered a glass of ice water and leaned on the stretch of mahogany as I waited for it to arrive. I was aware of someone approaching and standing next to me, but it didn’t fully register. I was too busy concentrating on the swirled patterns within the wood and wondering how I was going to fix things or if I should even try.
“Jenna, can we talk for a minute?”
I looked up. Sienna. The last person on earth I’d want to talk to at this moment. “If it’s all the same to you, Sienna, I’d rather we didn’t. It’s been a long day.”
“Well, there are some things I need to say to you. Can we step outside maybe, just for a minute?”
“Nope, I don’t want to step outside. If you wouldn’t mind—”
“Jenna, it’s important. Please?” she asked, touching my forearm.
I pulled away and straightened, turning to her, my anger rising. But I stopped myself. Sienna didn’t look like her old self at all and it was off-putting. In the place of the smug smirk I was used to seeing on her face, there was actual sincere emotion. She looked humble and, well, human. I didn’t know what to make of it. I found myself curious and wanting to understand the change. “Okay, for a minute.”
It was dark out now and stars twinkled in the clear night sky. In the distance I could see the glow of a nearby lighthouse. I crossed my arms, bracing myself from the now colder temperature.
“If it’s too cold out here, we can go in,” Sienna said. “I thought this would be a little more private.”
“It’s fine,” I lied. “What do you want to talk about?”
She took a deep breath. “This is something I’ve wanted to say for a while. I didn’t have the courage to, you know, seek you out in the real world. But you’re here now and I need to take advantage of the opportunity. I wanted to tell you I’m sorry, so very sorry for everything that happened between us on the tour. No, that’s not exactly right.” She sounded nervous. “What I mean to say is I’m sorry for everything I did to you on the tour.”
My brow furrowed and I stared at her. “Okay, you’re sorry. Are we done?” Perhaps I could have been a little more accommodating, but I didn’t see the point and had no interest in reconciliation at this point.
“I want you to understand that the person you knew back then wasn’t me, not really. I was strung out, a mess. I was battling some addictions at that point in my life. You probably knew that already; I don’t know. But I’ve been clean for two years now and part of that journey is making amends to those you’ve wronged in the past as a result of the addiction. One of the people I remember behaving badly toward is most definitely you.”
I was a little caught off guard by this information. I had seen her do a line of cocaine once or twice at a party, but I hadn’t realized the extent of it. I mulled over this new information.
“I developed a hatred for you that started when you got the part I thought I deserved and it escalated when you started things up with Adrienne. I made your life difficult and I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t help but feel a little bit bad for her. She seemed completely sincere and I could see a big difference in her, just in this short conversation. “I respect what you’re doing, Sienna. I’m sure it’s taken a lot for you to get to where you are now and I accept your apology.” I placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
“Thank you. I suppose I owe Adrienne an apology as well. We haven’t spoken in years. The last time was when you were deciding whether or not to move to LA. I also apologize for purposefully telling her about your job offer before you had the chance. I’m glad to see you two are together and doing well and that ultimately I didn’t get in the way of—”
I shook my head at her. “Adrienne and I aren’t together.”
She regarded me, clearly puzzled. “I just assumed when I saw the two of you dancing in there, and heard you shot this movie together that you had worked things out.”
“No. Until a few months ago, I hadn’t spoken to Adrienne since I left for LA.”
“She didn’t want you to go, you know.” She tilted her head to the side. “She was heartbroken when you did. It took her a long time to recover.”
I studied Sienna, doubting this was true. “If that was the case, she wouldn’t have walked away or at the very least would have asked me not to take the job.”
“She thought about it. I remember telling her it had to be your decision, that if it was real between the two of you that you would choose her over any job out there.” She brought her hand to her forehead, frowning. “I can’t imagine that what I said to her would have had much impact, but if it did, Jenna, I’m sorry. Like I said, I wasn’t seeing things clearly at that point in my life.”
I nodded my head and thanked Sienna for the talk.
I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked further down the deck. My head was a bit of a mess after the dance with Adrienne and the talk with Sienna and I desperately needed to be alone. I sent a text message to Lanie letting her know that I was fine, but needed some air. I knew she’d understand. I headed down the deck stairs to the beach below. I took my heels off and carried them, walking barefoot in the cold sand, as far away from the Plaza Club as I could possibly get.
*
It was just after two a.m. when I walked up the sidewalk to th
e beach cottage. Ultimately, it was the cold that brought me back, or I might have kept walking. I didn’t know what had gone on at the reception after I left; I’d turned my phone off. I was clearly running away from the situation rather than facing it head on, but I was okay with that. So I was a coward. I didn’t care.
I rounded the corner leading to the front door but slowed when I caught sight of the outline of a solitary figure sitting on the steps. Adrienne. It was clear she’d been crying. Her eyes were red and swollen and her cheeks tearstained. She’d taken her hair down and the makeup was all but gone. She sat with her arms wrapped around her knees, no doubt trying to stay as warm as possible in her sleeveless dress. She must have been freezing. I took a couple steps closer, stopping a few feet from the stairs, worried. “Are you okay? Where’s Kim?”
She started to speak but closed her mouth, having a difficult time answering the question. I waited patiently, not quite sure what to do. She put her hand out as if in question, clearly emotional, but finally managing the words. “She went home. Took a cab back to the city.”
“Why?” I sat on the step next to her and studied her face. I didn’t see the confident Adrienne I knew. Instead, she looked stricken, like a scared little girl. I brushed a strand of hair from her eye and tucked it behind her ear.
“We decided to end things.” She gestured to her tears absently. “I don’t know why I’m crying. It’s stupid. It’s not like I was that attached to her.” She raised her chin and turned to me, as if realizing something for the first time. “I’m sorry. It’s late and completely selfish of me to even be here right now. Do you want me to leave?”
“Of course not,” I said. “You’re upset.” The truth was it killed me to see her looking so broken. I’d been jealous of Kim, yes, but the implications of their breakup meant very little to me in this moment. I was concentrated on Adrienne and making sure she was okay. “You know what? It’s freezing out here. Come inside. I think there might be some tea in the cabinet. We need to warm up.”
Once inside, Adrienne seemed to relax a little. At least the tears were gone. She sat at the table as I stood at the stove, staring intently at the kettle.
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