"What about you? You slut!" Kayla said.
I shrugged. "More or less the same thing."
The lie caused another pang of guilt to run through me, but whatever. Let her think what she was going to think. Given her recent experience she probably wouldn't have too much trouble imagining that I'd had a love'em and leave'em one night affair with Grant in much the same way that she'd enjoyed her time with her guy. That would be a lot easier to deal with than the inevitable questioning that would follow from telling her that I had a brief glimpse of something very special developing between me and Grant and now I was sneaking away in the night like a coward rather than confronting it. No, she wouldn't like that at all. I’d never hear the end of it.
The lie was easier.
Kayla hooked her elbow in my own and pulled me away. She gave a pointed dirty look to the guard who'd refused to let her into Grant's trailer, though it's not like I could blame the guy. That was his job, after all. He shrugged and went back to his ebook when it looked like we weren’t going to try and get back in.
"Come on Mia," Kayla said. "Let's get out of here. Away from these rock star users!"
I was surprised at the heat in Kayla's voice. From the way she'd been talking on the way over here, hell from the way she talked about the band over the years, it seemed like a one night stand with her favorite member of the group wouldn't be entirely unwelcome. Only now the way she was reacting made me think that maybe there was a little bit more to her rock star fantasy then a slam bam thank you ma'am one night stand.
Interesting. Very interesting.
And that just made me feel all the more guilty that I'd achieved the dream and now I was leaving it behind. Yeah, I definitely needed to never tell Kayla about that. On the bright side, if Kayla was this pissed off then there was a good chance I was never going to have to hear her lecturing me about Twenty Promises ever again.
16: The Morning After
Light. Buzzing. Confusion.
I opened my eyes and immediately regretted the decision. The sunlight streaming in through that huge back window definitely wasn’t good for a guy nursing a hangover. Usually I closed the blinds the night before so I wouldn’t have this problem, I tended to run a pretty vampiric schedule so good blinds were a must on the bus, but they only worked if I wasn’t distracted.
Distractions. I smiled as I thought about the delicious distraction that kept me from adjusting the blinds the night before. Yeah, that had felt good falling asleep with Mia in my arms.
I’d never done that before. Like, ever. A definite first for a girl I brought back to the place where the magic happened. I hoped it would be the first of many occasions where I’d fall asleep with her in my arms. That had been nice. Last night was a very real and concrete demonstration of something I’d suspected for a long time: getting your rocks off was getting your rocks off, but making love to someone you cared about was something else entirely.
It made me all the more jealous of Eric and Todd and what they had, but now that I had Mia I was hopeful that things might blossom into what those guys had.
My stomach rumbled. Food. Breakfast. I should get food. I didn’t have anything to cook on the bus even though it came with a fully furnished kitchen. All I really needed was a microwave, but when we bought the thing it had been one of those deals where it would’ve been more expensive to get something custom that didn’t have the cookie cutter option of a full kitchen. Still, it would be a good idea to get something for Mia.
Odd. I didn’t feel her in my arms where she’d been last night when we went to sleep. Then again I suppose it would be weird to expect her to spend the whole night wrapped naked in my arms even if that would’ve been a pleasant experience to wake up to. I’d settle for waking up next to her naked. Or even if she’d woken up in the middle of the night and decided to put some clothes on. She was beautiful no matter what.
I rolled over and moved my hand out across the bed expecting to feel her glorious curves at any moment, but nothing. I blinked and sat up.
The bed was empty. Well, I was in there, but there was definitely no Mia. Just rumpled sheets where she’d been last night.
Damn.
I moved over to the foot of the bed on the off chance she’d rolled off in the middle of the night. She’d had a bit to drink, after all, as had I. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d heard of someone falling off the bed in a drunken stupor even if she hadn’t been all that drunk.
No Mia. Also none of her clothes. I was pretty sure I’d tossed them down to the foot of the bed the night before when we were having our fun. Fun that brought a smile to my face as I thought back on it. That really had been one of the best nights of my life.
Even if it wasn’t exactly shaping up to be one of the best mornings after.
What the hell was going on here? I was experiencing all sorts of firsts with this girl. The first time I’d actually found myself interested in someone who was dressed up to go to one of our concerts. The first time I’d actually felt something other than a little bit of old fashioned lust when I pulled a girl on stage. The first time I’d been interested in what a girl had to say as much as I was interested in how hot she was.
Apparently the first time I’d been stood up and left high and dry after a one night stand. Talk about one hell of an odd reversal there. I was used to being the one who did the ditching. I thought back to all the times that I left early in the morning and had a note along with breakfast and an autographed picture talking about what a great time I had the night before.
I felt like an asshole even thinking about that. I felt like I was getting everything I deserved and then some as payback.
Of course there was still a small sliver of hope. There was still the chance that Mia would be waiting for me on the other side of the bedroom door instead of a metaphorical karmic note and autographed picture that was payback for all the asshole things I’d done to my fans over the years.
I pulled on some pants from the night before. I could shower later. If Mia really was gone then I needed to get the ball rolling on a couple of things before I even thought about showering or breakfast.
And if she was here, well the shower in the bus was small, but one thing I’d made sure of when I bought this thing was that it would be more than enough to accommodate two people showering at the same time.
I had different priorities back then.
The only problem? It looked like I was going to be doing a one man shower after all. I glanced through the living area and even on the floor around the couch on the off chance she’d stumbled out here in the middle of the night and passed out, again wouldn’t be the first time something like that happened, only there was no sign of her.
The bus was completely empty. Just like it had been for most of this damn tour.
Fuck.
I popped my head out the front door, not caring that I was completely shirtless. I heard some cheers and blinked in the morning light. I couldn’t believe it. Looking over at the chain link fence separating the buses from the rest of the world there were actually a few girls standing there with their phones in hand trying to take pictures. There was even a tent in one spot making it clear they’d stayed the night.
Damn. Talk about crazy. Not that I was too worried. It’s not like a camera on a phone was going to get much of a picture. For that matter it’s not like it would be the first time a picture of me shirtless made the rounds of the Internet. I had no shame to hide from the world at this point. Well, I’d never been naked on the Internet, but other than that.
“Morning Grant,” Jake said.
“Morning yourself Jake,” I replied.
Jake was usually the one guarding my bus through the night. It was a pretty sweet gig for him too. Mostly that meant sitting outside the front door reading a book or maybe playing a video game on his phone to break up some of the boredom. Not that I minded him breaking up the monotony. I figured it had to be a pretty boring job keeping back all the women who didn’t storm the cha
in link fences like in the old days.
Jake had earned his pay back then. I figured the least I owed him now was reading on the job. It was also nice having someone out there to keep an eye on things. I was particularly glad this morning that he was out there waiting.
“You didn’t happen to see a lady come through here the night before, did you?” I asked.
Jake chuckled, a deep bass rumble, and shook his head. “You talking about the hellcat that came over here demanding to get into your bus in the middle of the night, or the one who stepped off your bus and ran off with the first one?”
I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. Damn it. That was all the confirmation I needed. She was gone. And all I had was a phone number. Then again if she really didn’t want to talk to me it’s not like having a phone number was going to do a hell of a lot to get her attention. She could ignore me all she wanted and I’d be screwed.
Or I wouldn’t be screwed. Not like last night, at least. Damn it.
“I don’t suppose they said anything?”
I could at least hope that maybe she had work in the morning or something like that. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she hadn’t bailed because she was freaking out about who I was. She seemed a little skittish for most of the night last night, and I could only assume that’s what ultimately chased her away.
Jake shook his head and chuckled again. “You sure you want to hear the things they were saying? Seems like the hellcat didn’t have a great experience with Blake. Can’t say I’m surprised on that score.”
I sank down against the steps, not even caring that those women on the other side of the chain link fence were still standing there snapping away. Let them snap away. Talk about ironic. Here I was surrounded by women who would love a chance to get with me and the one woman in the world I wanted was the one who was running as far and as fast as possible.
Damn it.
“Goddamn Blake,” I muttered.
“What’d he do this time?”
“He might have just screwed me out of the girl of my dreams because he just had to screw her best friend.”
“Sounds like something he’d do, not that he can help it. Getting mad at Blake for screwing a fan is like getting mad at a fish for swimming. Time was you were like that too, I remember.”
Jake laughed again. Even I snorted at that one. It wasn’t one of his better cheesy jokes, but it was up there. And with the way I was feeling I would latch onto anything to provide a little bit of comic relief in what was starting to look like a pretty goddamn bleak situation.
I glanced over to Jake. I seemed to recall Jake being a man who could get things done once upon a time, even if he had settled into a life of reading and enjoying a nice easy gig.
“Jake, what would you say if I said I needed some help?”
He held his hands up. One of them had his trusty ereader still there from where he’d been flipping digital pages the night before.
“Hey man, one of the deals when we started this tour was I wasn’t doing any of that stuff anymore,” he said. “Besides, all my contacts are at least a decade out of date. I’ve been clean for as long as you guys.”
I laughed and shook my head. Of course he would think I was after that, though I wasn’t sure that scoring a little bit of pot for after the show really counted as being heavy into illegal shit. Especially considering the stuff was legal now in at least a few of the states where we toured.
Still, I wasn’t interested in any of that. I was more interested in some of his contacts in the security business.
“I’m not talking about scoring some weed for an after party or anything like that,” I said. “Besides, the record company has way better contacts for that sort of thing than you do if I decided I wanted to get back into that.”
“Oh? Then what do you need?”
“You work security. Do you know guys who can track things down? Like if I were to give you a phone number do you know anyone who could run with that?”
Jake grinned and spread his hands wide. “My man. I have a cousin who does some PI work. I could get him a phone number and he could see what he can find. Usually takes a few days though.”
“What if I told you I needed it this morning? I’m on a little bit of a time crunch here.”
I really was under a time crunch. We were scheduled to start off for a new city tonight. It was a miracle that this stop where I met Mia happened to coincide with one of our rest and relaxation days where we took some time to decompress between concerts before jumping into big weekend dates.
That meant I had today. Technically we were supposed to be on the road later this afternoon, but I could push it and leave as late as tomorrow morning and still be on schedule. Maybe. It would be a stretch, but it’s not like they were going to start a concert without me or anything.
“I suppose he might be able to do that, but it’s going to cost you to pull him off of whatever he’s working on,” Jake said.
“Fine, done. Make it happen Jake.”
“Is this one of those girls I saw last night? I’m assuming it’s the hottie that came off the bus?”
“Yup, that’s her,” I said.
“Weird. Never figured you to be one to try and track a girl down after she left the bus. Seems like you already got what you needed from her.”
“I don’t have what I needed from her at all Jake,” I said. And it was true. There was so much more that I wanted, so much more that I needed, from the beautiful Mia. She was all I could think about, and I needed to find out why she decided to leave in the middle of the night. I needed to know if it was me or if it was the star she was running from.
Though more than anything I just needed to see her again. See her smile. Spend more time with her. I wanted to be with her in the worst way, and not physically. I just wanted to spend time with her.
I really hoped Jake’s cousin would be able to track her down. I handed over the phone info and headed back to the bus. I needed to be ready to go the instant I had more information, and that meant a solo shower and a shave.
Thinking of Mia the entire time. Damn that girl was stuck in my head! I wondered what she was up to as I was about to go on the prowl.
17: Bragging Rights
This morning was killer. I’d taken a shower and made sure I was done up. I put on a nice tight fitting T-shirt. The ladies always seemed to like the tight shirts. Then I’d quickly changed out of the tight shirt into something more respectable because Mia didn’t seem like the kind of girl who’d be impressed by what impressed your average groupie.
After that I turned on the TV and tried to watch a movie, but it was really hard to stay distracted with passive entertainment like that. Watching a love story was the last thing I needed since I was terrified I might be headed for an unhappy ending that’d be a stark contrast to what I saw on the screen, and an action movie with lots of explosions was too mindless.
Too much opportunity for thoughts of Mia to slip into my head. I hated that I couldn’t get her out of my mind even as I loved it.
I pulled out my guitar and started picking randomly at it. That always got my mind off of my problems. The guitar had certainly helped me after the Incident, though a lot of the songs I’d written during that dark time weren’t exactly the kind of thing I could ever perform on stage unless we wanted to completely change the band’s genre and risk getting our asses sued by my ex for defamation or libel or whatever the fuck it was lawyers used to go after people who said mean things about other people.
The last thing I wanted after that fucked up breakup was to put out a song that might make a single cent the bitch could sue me for, so they went into the vault to stay there until maybe some day in the far future when I was dead and wouldn’t give a fuck what happened.
Though even as I was plucking away I found myself humming a tune that turned into the beginnings of a song about how I was feeling, and I was feeling pretty damn good.
It started with some suitably indistinct references to troubl
es in the past. Vague enough that a bloodsucking lawyer couldn’t come after me and say I was talking about any one girl in particular even though it was obviously about the Incident. Then a little bit about what I’d been missing out on and how I might’ve found it.
I was stuck on some of the lyrics when the knock came at the door and any thoughts of the song disappeared from my head. I really fucking hoped that was Jake, because I didn’t know if I could take much more of this waiting. It was getting close to noon, and I worried that if this kept up for much longer I wasn’t going to be able to find Mia before we had to head off to the next city.
We weren’t scheduled to actually have our next concert until tomorrow, but the guys could be sticklers about getting to the next city with plenty of time. At least most of them were. Blake was usually willing to make an exception if he had a pretty little thing that he wanted to enjoy for a day or so. The guys had even left him behind on at least one occasion, which annoyed me to no end since I’d never gotten that treatment the last time we toured.
I opened the door and was immediately disappointed to see Blake standing there with a huge grin on his face. Inwardly I was groaning and rolling my eyes, but on the outside I took the hand he was holding over his head and clasped it.
“Grant my man!” Blake said. “So how did things go with you and your lady friend last night?”
I hated myself for doing it, for acting like that guy, even as I held his hand in a tight grip and pulled him up into my bus. I forced myself to slap on a goofy grin to match his. This was one-on-one time with Blake, and that meant it was time to act like the player. The man who’d traveled to hundreds of cities and left a line of broken hearts along the way. The man that I hated and really didn’t want to be anymore, but there was another part of me that felt like I had to keep up the charade because Blake and I were brothers-in-arms being the only single guys on the tour.
Blake was like a brother to me, and I worried that if I didn’t act like this it would hurt him. So I kept up an act that wasn’t really me anymore.
Rock Hard: A Bad Boy Rock Star Romance Page 12