by Henry James
This had made him shrink from knowing the worst about her; not the wish to get used to it in time, but what was more characteristic of him, the wish to interpose a temporary illusion. Illusions and realities and hopes and fears, however, fell into confusion whenever he met her after a separation. The separation, so far as seeing her alone or as continuous talk was concerned, had now been tolerably long; had lasted really ever since his failure to regain his seat. An impression had come to him that she judged that failure rather stiffly, had thought, and had somewhat sharply said, that he ought to have done better. This was a part of her imperious way, and a part not all to be overlooked on a mere present basis. If he were to marry her he should come to an understanding with her: he should give her his own measure as well as take hers. But the understanding might in the actual case suggest too much that he was to marry her. You could quarrel with your wife because there were compensations—for her; but you mightn’t be prepared to offer these compensations as prepayment for the luxury of quarrelling.
It was not that such a luxury wouldn’t be considerable, our young man none the less thought as Julia Dallow’s fine head poised itself before him again; a high spirit was of course better than a mawkish to be mismated with, any day in the year. She had much the same colour as her brother, but as nothing else in her face was the same the resemblance was not striking. Her hair was of so dark a brown that it was commonly regarded as black, and so abundant that a plain arrangement was required to keep it in natural relation to the rest of her person. Her eyes were of a grey sometimes pronounced too light, and were not sunken in her face, but placed well on the surface. Her nose was perfect, but her mouth was too small; and Nick Dormer, and doubtless other persons as well, had sometimes wondered how with such a mouth her face could have expressed decision. Her figure helped it, for she appeared tall—being extremely slender—yet was not; and her head took turns and positions which, though a matter of but half an inch out of the common this way or that, somehow contributed to the air of resolution and temper. If it had not been for her extreme delicacy of line and surface she might have been called bold; but as it was she looked refined and quiet—refined by tradition and quiet for a purpose. And altogether she was beautiful, with the gravity of her elegant head, her hair like the depths of darkness, her eyes like its earlier clearing, her mouth like a rare pink flower.
Peter said he had not taken a private room because he knew Biddy’s tastes; she liked to see the world—she had told him so—the curious people, the coming and going of Paris. “Oh anything for Biddy!” Julia replied, smiling at the girl and taking her place. Lady Agnes and her elder daughter exchanged one of their looks, and Nick exclaimed jocosely that he didn’t see why the whole party should be sacrificed to a presumptuous child. The presumptuous child blushingly protested she had never expressed any such wish to Peter, upon which Nick, with broader humour, revealed that Peter had served them so out of stinginess: he had pitchforked them together in the public room because he wouldn’t go to the expense of a cabinet. He had brought no guest, no foreigner of distinction nor diplomatic swell, to honour them, and now they would see what a paltry dinner he would give them. Peter stabbed him indignantly with a long roll, and Lady Agnes, who seemed to be waiting for some manifestation on Mrs. Dallow’s part which didn’t come, concluded, with a certain coldness, that they quite sufficed to themselves for privacy as well as for society. Nick called attention to this fine phrase of his mother’s and said it was awfully neat, while Grace and Biddy looked harmoniously at Julia’s clothes. Nick felt nervous and joked a good deal to carry it off—a levity that didn’t prevent Julia’s saying to him after a moment: “You might have come to see me to-day, you know. Didn’t you get my message from Peter?”
“Scold him, Julia—scold him well. I begged him to go,” said Lady Agnes; and to this Grace added her voice with an “Oh Julia, do give it to him!” These words, however, had not the effect they suggested, since Mrs. Dallow only threw off for answer, in her quick curt way, that that would be making far too much of him. It was one of the things in her that Nick mentally pronounced ungraceful, the perversity of pride or of shyness that always made her disappoint you a little if she saw you expected a thing. She snubbed effusiveness in a way that yet gave no interesting hint of any wish to keep it herself in reserve. Effusiveness, however, certainly, was the last thing of which Lady Agnes would have consented to be accused; and Nick, while he replied to Julia that he was sure he shouldn’t have found her, was not unable to perceive the operation on his mother of that shade of manner. “He ought to have gone; he owed you that,” she went on; “but it’s very true he would have had the same luck as we. I went with the girls directly after luncheon. I suppose you got our card.”
“He might have come after I came in,” said Mrs. Dallow.
“Dear Julia, I’m going to see you to-night. I’ve been waiting for that,” Nick returned.
“Of course we had no idea when you’d come in,” said Lady Agnes.
“I’m so sorry. You must come to-morrow. I hate calls at night,” Julia serenely added.
“Well then, will you roam with me? Will you wander through Paris on my arm?” Nick asked, smiling. “Will you take a drive with me?”
“Oh that would be perfection!” cried Grace.
“I thought we were all going somewhere—to the Hippodrome, Peter,” Biddy said.
“Oh not all; just you and me!” laughed Peter.
“I’m going home to my bed. I’ve earned my rest,” Lady Agnes sighed.
“Can’t Peter take us?” demanded Grace. “Nick can take you home, mamma, if Julia won’t receive him, and I can look perfectly after Peter and Biddy.”
“Take them to something amusing; please take them,” Mrs. Dallow said to her brother. Her voice was kind, but had the expectation of assent in it, and Nick observed both the good nature and the pressure. “You’re tired, poor dear,” she continued to Lady Agnes. “Fancy your being dragged about so! What did you come over for?”
“My mother came because I brought her,” Nick said. “It’s I who have dragged her about. I brought her for a little change. I thought it would do her good. I wanted to see the Salon.”
“It isn’t a bad time. I’ve a carriage and you must use it; you must use nothing else. It shall take you everywhere. I’ll drive you about to-morrow.” Julia dropped these words with all her air of being able rather than of wanting; but Nick had already noted, and he noted now afresh and with pleasure, that her lack of unction interfered not a bit with her always acting. It was quite sufficiently manifest to him that for the rest of the time she might be near his mother she would do for her numberless good turns. She would give things to the girls—he had a private adumbration of that; expensive Parisian, perhaps not perfectly useful, things.
Lady Agnes was a woman who measured outlays and returns, but she was both too acute and too just not to recognise the scantest offer from which an advantage could proceed. “Dear Julia!” she exclaimed responsively; and her tone made this brevity of acknowledgment adequate. Julia’s own few words were all she wanted. “It’s so interesting about Harsh,” she added. “We’re immensely excited.”
“Yes, Nick looks it. Merci, pas de vin. It’s just the thing for you, you know,” Julia said to him.
“To be sure he knows it. He’s immensely grateful. It’s really very kind of you.”
“You do me a very great honour, Julia,” Nick hastened to add.
“Don’t be tiresome, please,” that lady returned.
“We’ll talk about it later. Of course there are lots of points,” Nick pursued. “At present let’s be purely convivial. Somehow Harsh is such a false note here. Nous causerons de ça.”
“My dear fellow, you’ve caught exactly the tone of Mr. Gabriel Nash,” Peter Sherringham declared on this.
“Who’s Mr. Gabriel Nash?” Mrs. Dallow asked.
“Nick, is he a gentleman? Biddy says so,” Grace Dormer interposed before this inquiry was answered.
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“It’s to be supposed that any one Nick brings to lunch with us—!” Lady Agnes rather coldly sighed.
“Ah Grace, with your tremendous standard!” her son said; while Peter Sherringham explained to his sister that Mr. Nash was Nick’s new Mentor or oracle—whom, moreover, she should see if she would come and have tea with him.
“I haven’t the least desire to see him,” Julia made answer, “any more than I have to talk about Harsh and bore poor Peter.”
“Oh certainly, dear, you’d bore me,” her brother rang out.
“One thing at a time then. Let us by all means be convivial. Only you must show me how,” Mrs. Dallow went on to Nick. “What does he mean, Cousin Agnes? Does he want us to drain the wine-cup, to flash with repartee?”
“You’ll do very well,” said Nick. “You’re thoroughly charming to-night.”
“Do go to Peter’s, Julia, if you want something exciting. You’ll see a wonderful girl,” Biddy broke in with her smile on Peter.
“Wonderful for what?”
“For thinking she can act when she can’t,” said the roguish Biddy.
“Dear me, what people you all know! I hate Peter’s theatrical people.”
“And aren’t you going home, Julia?” Lady Agnes inquired.
“Home to the hotel?”
“Dear, no, to Harsh—to see about everything.”
“I’m in the midst of telegrams. I don’t know yet.”
“I suppose there’s no doubt they’ll have him,” Lady Agnes decided to pursue.
“Who’ll have whom?”
“Why, the local people and the party managers. I’m speaking of the question of my son’s standing.”
“They’ll have the person I want them to have, I daresay. There are so many people in it, in one way or another—it’s dreadful. I like the way you sit there,” Julia went on to Nick.
“So do I,” he smiled back at her; and he thought she was charming now, because she was gay and easy and willing really, though she might plead incompetence, to understand how jocose a dinner in a pothouse in a foreign town might be. She was in good humour or was going to be, and not grand nor stiff nor indifferent nor haughty nor any of the things people who disliked her usually found her and sometimes even a little made him believe her. The spirit of mirth in some cold natures manifests itself not altogether happily, their effort of recreation resembles too much the bath of the hippopotamus; but when Mrs. Dallow put her elbows on the table one felt she could be trusted to get them safely off again.
For a family in mourning the dinner was lively; the more so that before it was half over Julia had arranged that her brother, eschewing the inferior spectacle, should take the girls to the Théâtre Français. It was her idea, and Nick had a chance to observe how an idea was apt to be not successfully controverted when it was Julia’s. Even the programme appeared to have been prearranged to suit it, just the thing for the cheek of the young person—Il ne Faut Jurer de Rien and Mademoiselle de la Seiglière. Peter was all willingness, but it was Julia who settled it, even to sending for the newspaper—he was by a rare accident unconscious of the evening’s bill—and to reassuring Biddy, who was happy but anxious, on the article of their being too late for good places. Peter could always get good places: a word from him and the best box was at his disposal. She made him write the word on a card and saw a messenger despatched with it to the Rue de Richelieu; and all this without loudness or insistence, parenthetically and authoritatively. The box was bespoken and the carriage, as soon as they had had their coffee, found to be in attendance. Peter drove off in it with the girls, understanding that he was to send it back, and Nick waited for it over the finished repast with the two ladies. After this his mother was escorted to it and conveyed to her apartments, and all the while it had been Julia who governed the succession of events. “Do be nice to her,” Lady Agnes breathed to him as he placed her in the vehicle at the door of the café; and he guessed it gave her a comfort to have left him sitting there with Mrs. Dallow.
He had every disposition to be nice to his charming cousin; if things went as she liked them it was the proof of a certain fine force in her—the force of assuming they would. Julia had her differences—some of them were much for the better; and when she was in a mood like this evening’s, liberally dominant, he was ready to encourage most of what she took for granted. While they waited for the return of the carriage, which had rolled away with his mother, she sat opposite him with her elbows on the table, playing first with one and then with another of the objects that encumbered it; after five minutes of which she exclaimed, “Oh I say, well go!” and got up abruptly, asking for her jacket. He said something about the carriage and its order to come back for them, and she replied, “Well, it can go away again. I don’t want a carriage,” she added: “I want to walk”—and in a moment she was out of the place, with the people at the tables turning round again and the caissière swaying in her high seat. On the pavement of the boulevard she looked up and down; there were people at little tables by the door; there were people all over the broad expanse of the asphalt; there was a profusion of light and a pervasion of sound; and everywhere, though the establishment at which they had been dining was not in the thick of the fray, the tokens of a great traffic of pleasure, that night-aspect of Paris which represents it as a huge market for sensations. Beyond the Boulevard des Capucines it flared through the warm evening like a vast bazaar, and opposite the Café Durand the Madeleine rose theatrical, a high artful décor before the footlights of the Rue Royale. “Where shall we go, what shall we do?” Mrs. Dallow asked, looking at her companion and somewhat to his surprise, as he had supposed she wanted but to go home.
“Anywhere you like. It’s so warm we might drive instead of going indoors. We might go to the Bois. That would be agreeable.”
“Yes, but it wouldn’t be walking. However, that doesn’t matter. It’s mild enough for anything—for sitting out like all these people. And I’ve never walked in Paris at night. It would amuse me.”
Nick hesitated. “So it might, but it isn’t particularly recommended to ladies.”
“I don’t care for that if it happens to suit me.”
“Very well then, we’ll walk to the Bastille if you like.”
Julia hesitated, on her side, still looking about. “It’s too far; I’m tired; we’ll sit here.” And she dropped beside an empty table on the “terrace” of M. Durand. “This will do; it’s amusing enough and we can look at the Madeleine—that’s respectable. If we must have something we’ll have a madère—is that respectable? Not particularly? So much the better. What are those people having? Bocks? Couldn’t we have bocks? Are they very low? Then I shall have one. I’ve been so wonderfully good—I’ve been staying at Versailles: je me dois bien cela.”
She insisted, but pronounced the thin liquid in the tall glass very disgusting when it was brought. Nick was amazed, reflecting that it was not for such a discussion as this that his mother had left him with hands in his pockets. He had been looking out, but as his eloquence flowed faster he turned to his friend, who had dropped upon a sofa with her face to the window. She had given her jacket and gloves to her maid, but had kept on her hat; and she leaned forward a little as she sat, clasping her hands together in her lap and keeping her eyes on him. The lamp, in a corner, was so thickly veiled that the room was in tempered obscurity, lighted almost equally from the street and the brilliant shop-fronts opposite. “Therefore why be sapient and solemn about it, like an editorial in a newspaper?” Nick added with a smile.
She continued to look at him after he had spoken, then she said: “If you don’t want to stand you’ve only to say so. You needn’t give your reasons.”
“It’s too kind of you to let me off that! And then I’m a tremendous fellow for reasons; that’s my strong point, don’t you know? I’ve a lot more besides those I’ve mentioned, done up and ready for delivery. The odd thing is that they don’t always govern my behaviour. I rather think I do want to stand.”
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