by Henry James
“She comes of a beautiful Norman race—the finest, purest strain,” the old woman simpered. “Mr. Dormer’s sometimes so good as to come and see us—we’re always at home on Sunday; and if some day you found courage to come with him you might perhaps find it pleasant, though very different of course from the circle in which you habitually move.”
Biddy murmured a vague recognition of these wonderful civilities, and Miriam commented: “Different, yes; but we’re all right, you know. Do come,” she added. Then turning to Sherringham: “Remember what I told you—I don’t expect you to-night.”
“Oh I understand; I shall come,”—and Peter knew he grew red.
“It will be idiotic. Keep him, keep him away—don’t let him,” Miriam insisted to Biddy; with which, as Nick’s portals now were gaping, she drew her mother away.
Peter, at this, walked off briskly with Biddy, dropping as he did so: “She’s too fantastic!”
“Yes, but so tremendously good-looking. I shall ask Nick to take me there,” the girl said after a moment.
“Well, she’ll do you no harm. They’re all right, as she says. It’s the world of art—you were standing up so for art just now.”
“Oh I wasn’t thinking so much of that kind,” she demurred.
“There’s only one kind—it’s all the same thing. If one sort’s good the other is.”
Biddy walked along a moment. “Is she serious? Is she conscientious?”
“She has the makings of a great artist,” Peter opined.
“I’m glad to hear you think a woman can be one.”
“In that line there has never been any doubt about it.”
“And only in that line?”
“I mean on the stage in general, dramatic or lyric. It’s as the actress that the woman produces the most complete and satisfactory artistic results.”
“And only as the actress?”
He weighed it. “Yes, there’s another art in which she’s not bad.”
“Which one do you mean?” asked Biddy.
“That of being charming and good, that of being indispensable to man.”
“Oh that isn’t an art.”
“Then you leave her only the stage. Take it if you like in the widest sense.”
Biddy appeared to reflect a moment, as to judge what sense this might be. But she found none that was wide enough, for she cried the next minute: “Do you mean to say there’s nothing for a woman but to be an actress?”
“Never in my life. I only say that that’s the best thing for a woman to be who finds herself irresistibly carried into the practice of the arts; for there her capacity for them has most application and her incapacity for them least. But at the same time I strongly recommend her not to be an artist if she can possibly help it. It’s a devil of a life.”
“Oh I know; men want women not to be anything.”
“It’s a poor little refuge they try to take from the overwhelming consciousness that you’re in very fact everything.”
“Everything?” And the girl gave a toss. “That’s the kind of thing you say to keep us quiet.”
“Dear Biddy, you see how well we succeed!” laughed Peter.
To which she replied by asking irrelevantly: “Why is it so necessary for you to go to the theatre to-night if Miss Rooth doesn’t want you to?”
“My dear child, she does want me to. But that has nothing to do with it.”
“Why then did she say that she doesn’t?”
“Oh because she meant just the contrary.”
“Is she so false then—is she so vulgar?”
“She speaks a special language; practically it isn’t false, because it renders her thought and those who know her understand it.”
“But she doesn’t use it only to those who know her,” Biddy returned, “since she asked me, who have so little the honour of her acquaintance, to keep you away to-night. How am I to know that she meant by that that I’m to urge you on to go?”
He was on the point of replying, “Because you’ve my word for it”; but he shrank in fact from giving his word—he had some fine scruples—and sought to relieve his embarrassment by a general tribute. “Dear Biddy, you’re delightfully acute: you’re quite as clever as Miss Rooth.” He felt, however, that this was scarcely adequate and he continued: “The truth is that its being important for me to go is a matter quite independent of that young lady’s wishing it or not wishing it. There happens to be a definite intrinsic propriety in it which determines the thing and which it would take me long to explain.”
“I see. But fancy your ‘explaining’ to me: you make me feel so indiscreet!” the girl cried quickly—an exclamation which touched him because he was not aware that, quick as it had been, she had still had time to be struck first—though she wouldn’t for the world have expressed it—with the oddity of such a duty at such a season. In fact that oddity, during a silence of some minutes, came back to Peter himself: the note had been forced—it sounded almost ignobly frivolous from a man on the eve of proceeding to a high diplomatic post. The effect of this, none the less, was not to make him break out with “Hang it, I will keep my engagement to your mother!” but to fill him with the wish to shorten his present strain by taking Biddy the rest of the way in a cab. He was uncomfortable, and there were hansoms about that he looked at wistfully. While he was so occupied his companion took up the talk by an abrupt appeal.
“Why did she say that Nick oughtn’t to have resigned his seat?”
“Oh I don’t know. It struck her so. It doesn’t matter much.”
But Biddy kept it up. “If she’s an artist herself why doesn’t she like people to go in for art, especially when Nick has given his time to painting her so beautifully? Why does she come there so often if she disapproves of what he has done?”
“Oh Miriam’s disapproval—it doesn’t count; it’s a manner of speaking.”
“Of speaking untruths, do you mean? Does she think just the reverse—is that the way she talks about everything?”
“We always admire most what we can do least,” Peter brought forth; “and Miriam of course isn’t political. She ranks painters more or less with her own profession, about which already, new as she is to it, she has no illusions. They’re all artists; it’s the same general sort of thing. She prefers men of the world—men of action.”
“Is that the reason she likes you?” Biddy mildly mocked.
“Ah she doesn’t like me—couldn’t you see it?”
The girl at first said nothing; then she asked: “Is that why she lets you call her ‘Miriam’?”
“Oh I don’t, to her face.”
“Ah only to mine!” laughed Biddy.
“One says that as one says ‘Rachel’ of her great predecessor.”
“Except that she isn’t so great, quite yet, is she?”
“Far from it; she’s the freshest of novices—she has scarcely been four months on the stage. But no novice has ever been such an adept. She’ll go very fast,” Peter pursued, “and I daresay that before long she’ll be magnificent.”
“What a pity you’ll not see that!” Biddy sighed after a pause.
“Not see it?”
“If you’re thousands of miles away.”
“It is a pity,” Peter said; “and since you mention it I don’t mind frankly telling you—throwing myself on your mercy, as it were—that that’s why I make such a point of a rare occasion like to-night. I’ve a weakness for the drama that, as you perhaps know, I’ve never concealed, and this impression will probably have to last me in some barren spot for many, many years.”
“I understand—I understand. I hope therefore it will be charming.” And the girl walked faster.
“Just as some other charming impressions will have to last,” Peter added, conscious of keeping up with her by some effort. She seemed almost to be running away from him, an impression that led him to suggest, after they had proceeded a little further without more words, that if she were in a hurry they had perhaps better take a
cab. Her face was strange and touching to him as she turned it to make answer:
“Oh I’m not in the least in a hurry and I really think I had better walk.”
“We’ll walk then by all means!” Peter said with slightly exaggerated gaiety; in pursuance of which they went on a hundred yards. Biddy kept the same pace; yet it was scarcely a surprise to him that she should suddenly stop with the exclamation:
“After all, though I’m not in a hurry I’m tired! I had better have a cab; please call that one,” she added, looking about her.
They were in a straight, blank, ugly street, where the small, cheap, grey-faced houses had no expression save that of a rueful, unconsoled acknowledgment of the universal want of identity. They would have constituted a “terrace” if they could, but they had dolefully given it up. Even a hansom that loitered across the end of the vista turned a sceptical back upon it, so that Sherringham had to lift his voice in a loud appeal. He stood with Biddy watching the cab approach them. “This is one of the charming things you’ll remember,” she said, turning her eyes to the general dreariness from the particular figure of the vehicle, which was antiquated and clumsy. Before he could reply she had lightly stepped into the cab; but as he answered, “Most assuredly it is,” and prepared to follow her she quickly closed the apron.
“I must go alone; you’ve lots of things to do—it’s all right”; and through the aperture in the roof she gave the driver her address. She had spoken with decision, and Peter fully felt now that she wished to get away from him. Her eyes betrayed it, as well as her voice, in a look, a strange, wandering ray that as he stood there with his hand on the cab he had time to take from her. “Good-bye, Peter,” she smiled; and as the thing began to rumble away he uttered the same tepid, ridiculous farewell.
XLIV
At the entrance of Miriam and her mother Nick, in the studio, had stopped whistling, but he was still gay enough to receive them with every appearance of warmth. He thought it a poor place, ungarnished, untapestried, a bare, almost grim workshop, with all its revelations and honours still to come. But his visitors smiled on it a good deal in the same way in which they had smiled on Bridget Dormer when they met her at the door: Mrs. Rooth because vague, prudent approbation was the habit of her foolish face—it was ever the least danger; and Miriam because, as seemed, she was genuinely glad to find herself within the walls of which she spoke now as her asylum. She broke out in this strain to her host almost as soon as she had crossed the threshold, commending his circumstances, his conditions of work, as infinitely happier than her own. He was quiet, independent, absolute, free to do what he liked as he liked it, shut up in his little temple with his altar and his divinity; not hustled about in a mob of people, having to posture and grin to pit and gallery, to square himself at every step with insufferable conventions and with the ignorance and vanity of others. He was blissfully alone.
“Mercy, how you do abuse your fine profession! I’m sure I never urged you to adopt it!” Mrs. Rooth cried, in real bewilderment, to her daughter.
“She was abusing mine still more the other day,” joked Nick—”telling me I ought to be ashamed of it and of myself.”
“Oh I never know from one moment to the other—I live with my heart in my mouth,” sighed the old woman.
“Aren’t you quiet about the great thing—about my personal behaviour?” Miriam smiled. “My improprieties are all of the mind.”
“I don’t know what you call your personal behaviour,” her mother objected.
“You would very soon if it were not what it is.”
“And I don’t know why you should wish to have it thought you’ve a wicked mind,” Mrs. Rooth agreeably grumbled.
“Yes, but I don’t see very well how I can make you understand that. At any rate,” Miriam pursued with her grand eyes on Nick, “I retract what I said the other day about Mr. Dormer. I’ve no wish to quarrel with him on the way he has determined to dispose of his life, because after all it does suit me very well. It rests me, this little devoted corner; oh it rests me! It’s out of the row and the dust, it’s deliciously still and they can’t get at me. Ah when art’s like this, à la bonne heure!” And she looked round on such a presentment of “art” in a splendid way that produced amusement on the young man’s part at its contrast with the humble fact. Miriam shone upon him as if she liked to be the cause of his mirth and went on appealing to him: “You’ll always let me come here for an hour, won’t you, to take breath—to let the whirlwind pass? You needn’t trouble yourself about me; I don’t mean to impose on you in the least the necessity of painting me, though if that’s a manner of helping you to get on you may be sure it will always be open to you. Do what you like with me in that respect; only let me sit here on a high stool, keeping well out of your way, and see what you happen to be doing. I’ll tell you my own adventures when you want to hear them.”
“The fewer adventures you have to tell the better, my dear,” said Mrs. Rooth; “and if Mr. Dormer keeps you quiet he’ll add ten years to my life.”
“It all makes an interesting comment on Mr. Dormer’s own quietness, on his independence and sweet solitude,” Nick observed. “Miss Rooth has to work with others, which is after all only what Mr. Dormer has to do when he works with Miss Rooth. What do you make of the inevitable sitter?”
“Oh,” answered Miriam, “you can say to the inevitable sitter, ‘Hold your tongue, you brute!’”
“Isn’t it a good deal in that manner that I’ve heard you address your comrades at the theatre?” Mrs. Rooth inquired. “That’s why my heart’s in my mouth.”
“Yes, but they hit me back; they reply to me—comme de raison—as I should never think of replying to Mr. Dormer. It’s a great advantage to him that when he’s peremptory with his model it only makes her better, adds to her expression of gloomy grandeur.”
“We did the gloomy grandeur in the other picture: suppose therefore we try something different in this,” Nick threw off.
“It is serious, it is grand,” murmured Mrs. Rooth, who had taken up a rapt attitude before the portrait of her daughter. “It makes one wonder what she’s thinking of. Beautiful, commendable things—that’s what it seems to say.”
“What can I be thinking of but the tremendous wisdom of my mother?” Miriam returned. “I brought her this morning to see that thing—she had only seen it in its earliest stage—and not to presume to advise you about anything else you may be so good as to embark on. She wanted, or professed she wanted, terribly to know what you had finally arrived at. She was too impatient to wait till you should send it home.”
“Ah send it home—send it home; let us have it always with us!” Mrs. Rooth engagingly said. “It will keep us up, up, and up on the heights, near the stars—be always for us a symbol and a reminder!”
“You see I was right,” Miriam went on; “for she appreciates thoroughly, in her own way, and almost understands. But if she worries or distracts you I’ll send her directly home—I’ve kept the carriage there on purpose. I must add that I don’t feel quite safe to-day in letting her out of my sight. She’s liable to make dashes at the theatre and play unconscionable tricks there. I shall never again accuse mamma of a want of interest in my profession. Her interest to-day exceeds even my own. She’s all over the place and she has ideas—ah but ideas! She’s capable of turning up at the theatre at five o’clock this afternoon to demand the repainting of the set in the third act. For myself I’ve not a word more to say on the subject—I’ve accepted every danger, I’ve swallowed my fate. Everything’s no doubt wrong, but nothing can possibly be right. Let us eat and drink, for to-night we die. If you say so mamma shall go and sit in the carriage, and as there’s no means of fastening the doors (is there?) your servant shall keep guard over her.”
“Just as you are now—be so good as to remain so; sitting just that way—leaning back with a smile in your eyes and one hand on the sofa beside you and supporting you a little. I shall stick a flower into the other hand—let it lie i
n your lap just as it is. Keep that thing on your head—it’s admirably uncovered: do you call such an unconsidered trifle a bonnet?—and let your head fall back a little. There it is—it’s found. This time I shall really do something, and it will be as different as you like from that other crazy job. Here we go!” It was in these irrelevant but earnest words that Nick responded to his sitter’s uttered vagaries, of which her charming tone and countenance diminished the superficial acerbity. He held up his hands a moment, to fix her in her limits, and in a few minutes had a happy sense of having begun to work.
“The smile in her eyes—don’t forget the smile in her eyes!” Mrs. Rooth softly chanted, turning away and creeping about the room. “That will make it so different from the other picture and show the two sides of her genius, the wonderful range between them. They’ll be splendid mates, and though I daresay I shall strike you as greedy you must let me hope you’ll send this one home too.”