“He and Deputy Johnson were talkin’ about how good a tracker you are. And Deputy Richards said it was on account of you bein’ one of ‘them.’”
“Huh.” He stood up and stretched his back muscles, acting all unconcerned.
“It…kinda made me wonder…the way he said it…”
“You’re smart to wonder.”
“They’re on our side, aren’t they?”
Jacobi smiled. “Another thing to wonder about, huh?”
It was then I realized that what I’d said about my ‘wondering’ could have been taken more than one way. But I knew he had understood the direction my thoughts had gone. I could tell he was proud of me. Not by anything he said, but by the warm look in his eyes.
“Remember where we were during the fighting?” His question wasn’t idle. It was meant to make me think about why we’d been in the place we’d taken to stand and fight. How could I forget where we’d stood? I’d wondered, at the time, why we hadn’t stayed packed in closer with the others, but had gone for a position to the right of the center. Yet, I’d noticed that Trask had ridden to the far left.
“There was no one behind us,” I murmured.
Jacobi reached to tousle my hair. He looked away, his eyes casually scanning the others. “That’s right. See where we are now?”
Apart. Separate. I understood.
“Yes.” When I raised my eyes to his, he was watching me intently. He nodded.
“Remember, Will, don’t let another man behind you if you can help it. Even those you think you ought to be able to trust. It doesn’t always work out that you can.”
“What about Marshal Trask?”
He nodded. “Trask and Kelly are good men. Most all these fellows we’re riding with are. But, I’m just telling you, trust only goes so far, and sometimes a man will do things for money or glory that you’d never dream he’d be capable of otherwise.”
“Was that why you didn’t leave me at the fort, when Captain Stockton talked about it?”
Jacobi smiled and hesitated a minute before he answered me. “Partly, I guess it was. I don’t trust anybody to look after you the way I will. You’re safest with me, wherever that happens to be.”
I knew that was true, but it surprised me when he went on.
“The other part is, I depend on you, now, too. There’s no one else I’d rather have with me than you, son.”
That brought a new shine into my whole world when he said that. Jacobi wasn’t usually one for talking about feelings and stuff, but the way he said it was easy-like, as if it was natural. So, I knew he’d thought about it an awful lot.
We were partners for sure now. And there wasn’t anything that could have made me any happier.
****
We rode on for the next two days just like before, the heat rising up as if to bake us alive. We made more stops to rest ourselves and our horses, and I noticed that Jacobi seemed concerned about me. It wasn’t anything he said, but more the way he’d lay a hand on my shoulder or make sure I had plenty of jerky and hardtack, which I was heartily sick of.
It was during one of these long days of riding, when there was no energy in us to speak of anything together, that my mind began to run in circles about what we’d find when we reached our cabin, and how it might affect me and Jacobi.
If Laura had had the baby, of course, it would be a reason to celebrate. But how much celebrating would I be doin’ once the baby took my place in our family… in Jacobi and Laura’s hearts?
How could I ever compete with the love they would feel for their own child, compared to me? I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself, but it never had struck me before that I might be displaced. Then, I felt stupid that it had just now occurred to me.
Oh, I knew Jacobi and Laura would be kind to me, no matter what. And I always tried to make them proud of me. I thought guiltily of the day when I’d been so rude to Marshal Eddington, and figured maybe Jacobi hadn’t been so dang proud of me that day. But, he had defended me, in his own rock-hard way, even though I knew he’d been less than pleased with me.
Still…a baby. A tiny, cuddly little thing that you could hold like a kitten or a puppy and love. I was way past that. Even though there’d been plenty of times, even this past year, I wished I could’ve just sat on someone’s lap and been hugged up—I wouldn’t have dreamed of it. But how I cherished those casual hugs Laura gave me every now and again, or the touch of Jacobi’s hand on my shoulder! It meant everything, and just for a moment, I felt a pang of envy for the baby run through me. I was certain that, in my own family, there had not been an over-much show of loving affection when I’d been born. Even if I didn’t remember back that far, I just knew it hadn’t been that way. But, oh, how I wished it had been!
****
We reached Colbert’s Ferry late that afternoon and I didn’t know when I’d ever been happier to see any place on this earth.
Mrs. Colbert fixed us a heaping plate of fried catfish and cornbread, along with red beans, and I ate more than I had eaten since the last time we’d been here a few days back.
That night as I lay on my bedroll, I thought about how close we were to gettin’ back home. I was ready. Miss Elizabeth Bennett and her new foal were waiting for us, as well as our other horses that I had come to love so much.
And I missed Laura. I wondered if she’d ever have time to talk to me anymore once the baby came. I loved being able to sit down with her and talk about all the books she’d read. I had only just learned to read this past year. Laura told me she had never gotten to travel, but reading was a grand way of doing that without ever leaving home.
My sigh was heavy enough to draw Jacobi’s attention. He raised a dark brow in question. I wasn’t sure I wanted to say anything about my thoughts. My fears.
As it turned out, Jacobi must have already had some kind of idea, because he said, “Are you thinkin’ ’bout gettin’ back home? Thinkin’ ’bout Miss Lizzy and the foal?”
“Kind of wonder how they’re gettin’ on.”
There was a silence between us, and in the distance, I could hear the familiar night sounds, an owl off in the woods somewhere, and a coyote a long ways away. Soft murmurs from some of the other men who stood by the fire and drank coffee, even on this hot night, floated to us in bits and pieces.
“Don’t guess we ever named her before we left, did we?”
“We’ll think of somethin’.”
“I know there’s somethin’ else on your mind.”
“I guess…maybe I was just thinkin’ about our baby, too.”
Jacobi remained quiet, allowing me to choose my own way of bringing up my worries.
“I hope it’s a boy,” I finally said. “I’ve been thinkin’ ’bout what I could do with a brother. There’s not much a sister would be good for.”
“Mm. Still, if it’s a girl, we have to just take what we get and do the best we can.”
“Yeah. I guess.” I could hear a hint of amusement in his tone, but it didn’t anger me. I figured he was just trying to help his own thoughts in that direction. This wasn’t the first time we’d had this conversation. I didn’t know what I expected him to do about it. If it turned out to be a girl, we’d just have to try and make the best of things. Bein’ the father of the baby, he was gonna have to be happy, no matter what—just like Laura would. And I would have to pretend I was, too.
“You know, I think Laura might like having a girl, Will. Women are like that sometimes. And she already has a son. You.”
I shook my head in the darkness. “But I’m not really—”
“Will.” His voice was not harsh, but firm. It was the tone that meant for me to be still and listen, right then. “You are. You are…our son.” He just let those words roll over me, and warm me, but as good as it felt to hear that, I wondered what would happen when he had his own son. And right then, I changed my mind and began to hope for a sister, so I would never have to be faced with the possibility of being replaced.
I drifted off
to sleep then, my last thoughts of a pig-tailed girl with Jacobi’s dark eyes, following me down to the creek with her own fishing pole.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad…
****
Somewhere in the middle of the night, I woke up to the sound of a commotion at the nearby ferry station.
I propped on my elbow in the darkness and looked toward the edge of the river bank where men were tying their horses near the station. Two of the Colbert men had come out to speak to them. Jacobi squatted beside me in the darkness, and I knew he had been watching much longer than I had.
In the hot stillness, I could hear their low voices as they came nearer. We’d pitched our bedrolls a few yards away from the station, a piece apart from the others we’d been riding with. I glanced over toward them and saw only Marshal Trask had awoken, his tall body illuminated by the light of the low fire that kept the ever-present coffee warm for those who might want a cup.
“Wonder who it is?” I said quietly.
“Eddington, best I can tell,” Jacobi answered.
Now, I could hear it, too, and as the men came closer, I could see his paunchy form in the moonlight. He walked slowly, with a limp, and one of the other men stayed nearby, as if to help him.
“Looks like maybe...he’s hurt somehow…”
“Mm-hm.”
Jacobi’s voice was low. I knew he was taking everything in, and being a grown man, he was understanding more than I could. I was sleepy, still, and even though our bedrolls were laid out on the ground, I doubted my bed at home could’ve made me any more comfortable than I was right now.
Still, my curiosity was getting the best of me as I watched the men make their way to the doorway of the station structure.
“You’ll keep ’til mornin’ Marshal,” one of the Colberts said. “Martha’ll see to your injury, come daylight.” Eddington said something in return that I couldn’t understand, because I’d laid back down and had already begun to fall asleep again. But Jacobi bristled beside me, his normally easy-going way disappearing as his body tensed.
“You heard me, Marshal,” Eli Colbert said in a steady tone. “Now…pitch your bed roll out here for what’s left of the night and we’ll see you come mornin’.”
Jacobi crouched, half-standing, as if he fully expected he’d have to go intervene. Was Marshal Eddington drunk? Something told me that wasn’t the case. He was just rude, expecting to be catered to. I had never liked him. Not since that first time I’d met him nearly a year past. I knew Jacobi felt the same way.
But, the Colberts went back inside, and Marshal Eddington and his men picked out a spot to make camp for the few hours remaining until dawn.
The tenseness went out of Jacobi and he laid back down on his blanket. But I knew he wasn’t completely relaxed. I could feel the way the air crackled around the entire camp with Marshal Eddington’s return.
I sure did dread having him riding along with us for the next two days. I knew Jacobi would be none too happy about it, either.
****
As it turned out, I didn’t have to worry about Marshal Eddington’s company. That next morning, Jacobi and me both were up as the pink streaks broke through the gray of the early morning sky.
I could smell bacon cooking already, and Jacobi seemed pretty amused at my hurry to get everything packed up and ready to go so we could eat. I walked down by the river a ways and took care of my business, then headed back up to the camp.
Miss Martha and her daughters had taken down the plates and started dishing up eggs and potatoes, bacon and biscuits. They handed each of us a steaming plate, heaped with some of the best-smelling food I’d ever seen. Jacobi and I sat on one of the long benches at one of the tables and I dug in to my biscuits, not caring if they didn’t have any jelly on them. Butter was wonderful.
We ate pretty much in silence, and we ate quickly. I could feel Jacobi’s urgency. He probably wouldn’t have even taken time to eat, I thought, if he hadn’t had me along with him. He had a look about him that was restless and ready to travel.
Jacobi paid Miss Martha for our meals and she slipped a warm paper packet into my hands as we turned to leave.
“Some extra biscuits and bacon to tide you over, young man.” She put a hand on Jacobi’s arm as he reached for more money. ”Keep your money, Jacobi. I know how much growing boys tend to eat. Maybe you can get him to share with you—I put enough in for both of you, I think.” She smiled and winked at me, then looked at Jacobi once more. “I heard you and your missus are expecting any day now.”
Jacobi nodded. “Yeah. I hated to leave, but—”
She patted his arm. “You hurry on back. I’m sure everything’ll be fine. After all you’ve been through, you deserve this happiness with your new family.”
“Thanks for your kindness, Martha.”
“It’s the least I can do, to keep your boy fed at least part of the way back.” She cocked her head. “You aren’t waiting on Marshal Eddington, are you? Because he’s liable to be laid up a day or two.”
“No. He’s got his men to help him along. What happened to him, anyhow?”
Miss Martha leaned close. “The official story is, he was shot at by Indians, but one of his men told it that he was cleaning his pistol and got careless…shot himself in the thigh.” She raised a brow meaningfully. “He and the bottle don’t get on too well, if you get my meaning.” She waved a dismissive hand. “Bullet went through, clean, so there’s no digging it out, but I ’magine he’s gone and gotten it infected already. You’ll probably hear him holler halfway to Fort Worth when I go to cleaning it.”
Jacobi laughed. “He’ll be happy to have you waiting on him while he’s here.”
“Yes, the Good Lord have mercy.”
“Take care, Martha.” He put his hat on as he stepped outside the door.
“You, too, Jacobi. And send us word when you’re able, about the new baby, will you?”
“Sure will.”
We walked to where we’d left our horses, ready and waiting, and mounted up.
“Kane, you leaving us?” Trask asked, as he left the group he was talking with and came forward.
“I’ve been gone too long as it is, Atticus,” Jacobi answered. He smiled, but his eyes were set. We were leaving.
Marshal Trask must have seen it too, for he laughed aloud and offered a friendly hand to Jacobi, who reached to shake it.
“Don’t let me stop you, then, Jake. You get on home to your wife. You may already have a surprise waiting for you, time you get there.”
“I’m hopin’ she’ll hold off ’til tonight—full moon and all. I want to be there with her.”
Trask nodded. “I know. I appreciate you coming with us. Seems you have a way of finding those Apache. Now, justice has been served, for all those poor souls that they’ve murdered…including your wife and children.”
“I was glad to do it, Atticus, as long as it was you doin’ the askin’.” His gaze flicked over to where Marshal Eddington lay on his bedroll, calling for one of the men to bring him coffee and a plate of food.
“Yeah,” Marshal Trask replied in a slow drawl, and even I understood what he was saying, though he didn’t put it into actual words. Nobody held much respect for Marshal Eddington, it seemed. “Well, he’s got enough help to get him home…even if they have to make a litter for him.” Marshal Trask’s eyes twinkled when he said that.
Jacobi shook his head. “He does love the attention.”
“Anyhow, Jake, I ’preciate you comin’ along, especially with your wife expecting, and all.”
“Come see us when you get down this way next time.”
“You do the same, if y’all get up around my neck of the woods. I’m in Sallisaw now, not too far from Fort Smith, across the border.” He ducked his head toward me in farewell. “Goodbye, young ’un. Pleasure havin’ you ride along with us.”
“Thank you, sir,” I answered, flicking Arrow’s reins just a bit to get him moving after Blackie’s lead, southward.
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As we rode past where Marshal Eddington half-lay, propped against the side of the station, he gave us a look of angry disgust. “Kane! Where’re you going? You need to wait—”
Jacobi drew up short, and Arrow almost ran into Blackie. I guided him around from behind Blackie to where me an’ Jacobi was side by side.
“Wait for what?”
“Mrs. Colbert’s gonna fix me up here in a minute. I’ll be ready to ride by this afternoon.”
Jacobi shook his head. “No, Oscar, you need to heal up a day or two before you head back.”
An ugly sneer crossed Marshal Eddington’s face. “I always figgered you just like this. A glory hog. Gotta ride home and tell everyone what a great Injun fighter you are. Well, you oughtta be. You an’ that brat of yours got red Injun blood flowin’ in your veins. Maybe somebody ought to’ve done you in, too, while we was at it.”
A terrible, deadly silence settled over the camp. Jacobi didn’t answer, but his body tensed, and he was as still as a stone statue, sitting there atop Blackie.
What was wrong? Maybe his anger burned so hot he wasn’t able to move. The idea that such a man could sit there and insult Jacobi in front of God and everybody sent a rush of heat through my veins, straight into my heart.
In the next instant, I threw myself off of Arrow and ran at Marshal Eddington, with no thought about it. “Son of a bitch!” I heard myself yelling. “You rotten son of a bitch!”
The next thing I knew, I’d planted a facer into Marshal Eddington’s nose, and all I could think of was the last man I’d done that to—Red Eagle, himself.
The plate of food he’d been complacently eating from flew out of his hands before he could even realize what was happening and set it down. Scrambled eggs went sailing over his right shoulder, bacon and biscuits over his left.
He made a noise that sounded like one of the little girls in my class at recess, screaming while another one chased after her. He tried to push me off of him, but I was like a rabid dog Papa had told me about seeing once. I was so mad I was even slobbering like the mad animal he’d described to me.
“Get him off of me!”
“Don’t you ever say things like that about my Pa! You hear me—”
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