by Jill Mansell
Hiding her grief as efficiently as Shay was hiding his relief that the decision had been taken out of his hands, Caz said, ‘Anyway, there’s no hurry, is there? You’ve got plenty of time to make up your mind.’
The next morning, Shay loaded the turquoise suitcases into the back of the rented four-by-four and drove Caz back to the airport.
‘Here we are again.’ He handed her the printed-out tickets they’d booked online last night. ‘And here’s your passport. Try not to lose it.’
‘Thanks for looking after me. I’m going to be all kinds of jet-lagged by the time I land at LAX.’ She’d been shrieking with frustration an hour ago, searching for her mislaid passport, until Shay had found it outside in the garden beneath one of the sunloungers.
‘And try to get some sleep on the plane this time.’ He loaded her cases onto a trolley.
‘I must. Sandy’s taking me to a party tonight. She says it’s going to be full of A-listers.’
‘You see, that’s my idea of hell.’ Shay pushed the trolley through the sliding doors into the air-conditioned airport. ‘Want me to help you get your luggage checked in?’
‘It’s OK, even I can manage that.’ Caz stopped walking; it was time to let him go. Never again would she sleep with Shay, or properly kiss him, or feel his lean, finely muscled naked body next to hers.
She held out her arms and said, ‘Sorry. Are you going to be OK?’
He smiled. ‘I’ll be all right.’
‘Have you ever been dumped before in your life?’
‘Never.’
‘Hey, it’s character-forming. You’ll get over it.’ She held her breath and hugged him hard. Keeping her face buried in his shoulder, she said, ‘I know you’re heartbroken right now, but shall I tell you what I think would be good? If you and Didi gave things another go.’
She wasn’t telling him what to do. He had a mind of his own, after all. She was just letting him know that she’d be happy for the two of them if it did happen.
‘You have fun in LA,’ said Shay. ‘And in New Zealand.’ He was loosening his grip on her now, preparing for them to go their separate ways.
Caz didn’t bother to tell him about this morning’s call from her agent, letting her know that the New Zealand film had fallen through. It no longer mattered anyway. She reached up, gave him one last fleeting goodbye kiss on the corner of his mouth and marvelled at her own skills, because he had no idea that she was making the most honourable sacrifice of her life.
As she turned and pushed the luggage trolley away, she murmured to herself, ‘Give me my Oscar now, please. God, I’m a brilliant actress.’
Chapter 47
It was Saturday afternoon on 7 December, and Didi was standing at the back of the hotel’s Bingham Suite watching as two people who weren’t her and Aaron said their marriage vows.
She was glad it wasn’t her, and so was Aaron. Earlier, on the morning of what should have been their wedding day, he’d sent her an email to make her aware of this. He’d met someone else, he informed her, and this time it was a girl who truly appreciated him, who actually wanted to spend time in his company. But the reason he was contacting her was to let her know he forgave her and wished her well for the future.
Finally, because this was Aaron after all, he’d attached a photograph with the caption Me and Amy on an afternoon walk. Which had made Didi smile, because it was a very Instagrammy photo, apparently casual but in fact carefully staged, with the two of them looking absolutely perfect whilst walking in orange-shaded woodland, laughing together as they threw handfuls of autumn leaves into the air.
Yes, like confetti. The tiny dig wasn’t lost on her. Well as long as they were happy, good luck to them.
Anyway, here she was, witnessing the wedding of Beth and Phil, two people who genuinely did love each other for better and for worse, and she hadn’t regretted booking them in here today for a single second. Some of the guests were struggling to contain their emotions as the celebrant spoke movingly about the events that had led to today’s ceremony. Beth’s mother was in the front row, frail in her wheelchair but clearly delighted to be there and dabbing at her eyes with a lace-trimmed handkerchief. Phil’s three daughters were bridesmaids, wearing matching red dresses and tiny flowered hairbands, and when the youngest one tripped over her own shoe and asked to be picked up, Beth lifted her easily into her arms and planted a kiss on her cheek, then continued to balance her on her hip whilst the celebrant carried on speaking.
As she watched the little girl’s fingers curl instinctively around Beth’s neck, Didi felt her own throat tighten and found herself having to picture politicians wrestling naked in mud, because she mustn’t wreck her make-up, not while she was on duty. It was her job to make sure every minute of this wedding went smoothly and the guests had a wonderful time. She took a surreptitious glance at her watch and saw that it was 3.30. Only another seven hours to get through before she could head to Benny and Rosa’s, keeping her fingers crossed that the party wouldn’t be over before she got there.
At Compton House, Slade’s ‘Merry Xmas Everybody’ was blaring out of the speakers, red and green helium balloons bobbed against the high ceiling and Rosa, her cheeks aching from laughing, was being whirled around the kitchen by Benny.
They might never win Strictly, but could the actual winners be any happier than she was right now? She doubted it. The last three months had brought changes to her life that she could never have imagined. Benny Colette made her heart sing and every day she loved him more. At first she’d felt guilty, worrying that people would think she’d forgotten Joe, but friends had hastened to reassure her that no one thought that. They were glad she’d found someone who made her happy. And as Layla had pointed out, if Joe had ever met Benny, the two of them would have got on together like a house on fire. They were both glass-half-full people, outgoing and good-natured. If Joe could have chosen a replacement for himself, he would have chosen Benny, no question about it.
The song on the radio ended, Benny and Rosa simultaneously yelled, ‘It’s Chrissstmaaaasss!’ and hugged each other, then Rosa picked up the wooden spoon and returned her attention to the pan of chilli simmering on the stove. The house was ready for this evening’s party. Pared-back Scandi chic had been replaced by the more-is-more approach: there were fairy lights galore, three fragrant Christmas trees and multicoloured decorations throughout the ground floor. All they had to do now was finish preparing the food. Benny had suggested getting caterers in, but she’d insisted home cooking was the key to a happy and relaxed atmosphere. Tiny fancy canapés were all very well, but giant dishes of pasta puttanesca, cottage pie, chicken makhani and Mexican chilli were better.
‘If you keep on trying the curry,’ Rosa told Benny as he took yet another clean spoon from the cutlery drawer, ‘there isn’t going to be any left by the time everyone gets here.’
He gave her bottom a playful pinch. ‘It’s your fault for being such a good cook.’
‘Only meee!’ The door banged shut behind Layla as she burst into the kitchen, pulling off her silver sequinned beret and stripy pink and green gloves. ‘Yeesh, it’s freezing out there! This smells good . . . Ooh, my favourite, can I try some?’ She greeted Benny with a kiss on the cheek.
‘If you’ve come to help, you can start peeling potatoes.’ Swatting Layla away from the pan of puttanesca sauce, Rosa said, ‘What time’s Will going to be able to get here?’
‘He’s working till eight, then coming straight over.’ Flinging her purple fake-fur coat over one of the high stools, Layla trawled a chunk of focaccia through the sauce, then tried it and swooned. ‘Heaven. Oh, and Esther called earlier to tell him she’s just sold Taxi Man to a Dutch publisher, so that’s seven translations now. Isn’t that amazing?’
‘Wonderful.’ Rosa meant it. Will’s secret had taken all of them by surprise, and they were still getting used to the idea that he’d written a book that was being talked about in the publishing world with such anticipation. Film rights h
ad been snapped up for an impressive sum, but Will refused to consider giving up the job that had inspired the story in the first place. Instead, he was carrying on driving and was writing in his free time. It was still exciting, though. Having never been allowed to meet Harry, it was lovely to genuinely approve of her daughter’s latest boyfriend. Fingers crossed, this one might turn out to be a keeper.
‘Right, where’s the potato peeler?’ Having washed her hands, Layla was ready at last to get started. Her phone went ding and she pulled a face. ‘Oh no, it’s Will, don’t say he’s going to be late.’
‘What is it?’ said Rosa as Layla opened the text and frowned.
‘I don’t know! He says can I ask you if it’s OK for him to bring a guest along to the party tonight. But he’s not telling me who it is.’
Rosa said, ‘Well, we’ve got enough of a crowd coming that one more isn’t going to make any difference.’
‘Tell him it’s fine by us.’ Benny thought for a moment. ‘Just so long as it isn’t Ingrid.’
‘Or Harry.’ Layla mimed horror.
‘Or noisy Carol off that TV show,’ said Rosa. ‘Oh, will you look at that?’ She gave a squeak of delight and gazed out of the kitchen window. ‘It’s starting to snow!’
Eight o’clock. Only another two and a half hours to go. Over at Compton House, Benny and Rosa’s party would be in full swing by now. Not that Didi was feeling in a particularly party-ish mood, but sometimes you just had to make the effort, put on a good front and force yourself to have fun.
Anyway, today had been a success and the wedding party was finally preparing to leave. She came out from behind the reception desk and produced her sunniest smile as Phil pushed his new mother-in-law’s wheelchair out of the Bingham Suite and into the hallway.
‘Thank you so much.’ Beth’s face was shiny with joy as she hugged Didi. ‘For everything. You made our day perfect and we’ll never forget it.’
‘You’re welcome, it was our pleasure.’ Didi grinned at the three small bridesmaids, one fast asleep in her pushchair and the other two with their headbands askew. ‘I’m glad you’ve had a good day.’
Beth said, ‘If anyone had told me three years ago that I could be this happy, I wouldn’t have believed them. Life’s amazing, isn’t it? You never know what’s going to happen.’ Her hand came to rest on the middle girl’s head. ‘And now I’ve got everything I could ever want.’
Phil, nodding in agreement, beamed at his new wife. ‘We both have.’
The wedding party dispersed in a convoy of cars and Didi stood outside on the pavement waving them off as they disappeared down the road. The temperature had dropped this afternoon, and early flurries of snow had caused great excitement amongst the hotel guests. Now the flurries had settled into a steady fall of tiny dancing snowflakes, the kind that were in no danger of causing disruption. But the effect was gorgeous, as if Elliscombe had been liberally dusted with icing sugar. The festive feel was enhanced by the shops displaying their Christmas decorations, their higgledy-piggledy white roofs reflecting the glow of the fairy lights strung in the trees along the high street.
Didi couldn’t say she was looking forward to Christmas, but at least there was always the hotel to keep her busy.
She watched as a taxi made its way along the street. Recognising the car, Didi raised a hand in greeting as Will drove past, no doubt finished for the evening and now heading up to the market square, ready to join the party at Compton House.
About to dive back into the warmth of the hotel, she heard the taxi slow to a halt a couple of hundred yards up the road. A car door slammed, then Will set off once more.
Didi paused, some sixth sense prompting her to turn around. And that was when she saw the tall figure silhouetted on the pavement over on the other side of the street. Her heart skipped several beats. The figure was standing outside the florist’s, with its spotlit window display of holly wreaths, winter roses and lollipop bay trees in wrought-iron pots. She held her breath, because his face might be in darkness but she already knew who it was, just from the familiar easy stance.
Of course she did. Every inch of his body was imprinted on her brain; she knew it better than she knew her own.
Shay was back in Elliscombe. Well, it had to happen eventually. And he was on his own, which must mean Caz had work commitments elsewhere.
OK, he was making his way across the road now, heading towards her. All she had to do was act normal and pretend to be pleased to see him as a friend. Not so easy, though, when the snow was falling all around you, the cold air was squeezing your ribcage and your teeth were starting to chatter.
Never mind, she’d done it often enough before. She could do it again.
Chapter 48
A fox darted past in the shadows and Didi almost jumped out of her skin.
When Shay reached her, she said, ‘Hi. You’re back.’
‘I am.’ He was wearing a thin leather jacket over a black shirt and jeans. ‘Well spotted.’
‘We weren’t expecting you.’ She mentally kicked herself; why would he need to give them advance warning? ‘Where’s Caz?’
‘She’s in LA.’
‘Oh, working? What a pain.’
He shook his head. ‘Not working. Just catching up with old friends.’
‘And how is she?’
‘Great. As far as I know.’ Shay looked at her steadily. ‘We’re not together any more.’
Didi did a double-take. ‘What? Why not, what happened?’
‘Amazingly, we broke up. Caz decided we didn’t have a future. She said we were incompatible.’
Didi didn’t know how to react. Stunned, she said, ‘God, I’m sorry. Are you devastated?’
His mouth curved up at the corners. ‘Devastated? I guess I should be. She’s an amazing person, and we had a great time together. But she was right, we would never have lasted. She also thinks I’d be better suited to someone else.’
‘You mean she’s going to fix you up with one of her famous actress friends?’ Didi was speared with envy. Would he go along with that, just because it was another celebrity?
‘You seem to have hold of the wrong end of the stick here.’ The expression in Shay’s silver-blue eyes was enigmatic. ‘Anyway, how’s today been for you? Your wedding day, am I right?’
She couldn’t feel her toes. ‘It didn’t happen.’
‘I know. Caz told me about you and Aaron.’ Another pause. ‘That’s why I’m here.’
Didi felt her breathing quicken. She could see it quickening, the clouds of condensation emerging from her lungs like a steam train. ‘When did she tell you?’
‘Almost three weeks ago. The night we broke up. Coincidentally, also the night she told me who she thought I should be with.’
Almost three weeks ago . . .
Didi swallowed, her mouth dry. ‘So why aren’t you with them?’
‘Hey, it’s cold out here. You’re shivering. Do you want to go inside?’
If they went inside, guests and staff would start pestering her with work-related questions. Didi blinked snow from her lashes and shook her head. ‘No.’
Shay smiled. ‘Never stop being stubborn. It’s what I love about you.’
‘What does that mean?’ She didn’t dare to guess; this was feeling like an out-of-body experience. A freezing-cold one at that.
‘OK, it’s one of the things I love about you. One of the many, many, often completely infuriating things.’ He took off his leather jacket and draped it around her shoulders, and Didi closed her eyes, faint with longing because the jacket was warm from his body heat and it smelled of him. ‘Listen to me. I spent years trying to get over you. And I almost managed to convince myself that I had, until I came home this summer and saw you again. Dad persuaded me to stay and fix up the house because he wanted to see us get back together. Did you know that?’
She stared at him. ‘No . . .’
‘But you were with Aaron, you were happy with Aaron, and the wedding was all arranged.
’ Shay shrugged. ‘Which kind of wrecked that plan.’
Didi was light-headed with cold and warmth and confusion and the first tentative shoots of joy. ‘Then I broke up with Aaron, and when I got back here, you’d met Caz.’
He lifted an eyebrow. ‘That same weekend? Our timing was terrible.’
‘Did she really say you should be with me?’
‘Caz? She did. I think she knew all along.’
‘And she said it almost three weeks ago. So where have you been since then?’
‘In the villa in St Lucia. On my own. Thinking things through, making sure I knew how I wanted the rest of my life to go. Except I didn’t really need the three weeks, because since coming back here six months ago, I’ve known exactly how I wanted the rest of my life to go. I just didn’t think it could ever happen.’
‘And I thought you’d never be able to forgive me for not believing you about the burglary. I’m so sorry about that,’ Didi blurted out. ‘I know what happened now. Mum told me everything the day after your dad’s funeral. I wanted to believe you, so much. But I just knew you were hiding something.’
Shay nodded. ‘I was. I was hiding the fact that I was sure your mum was involved in some way. I knew she was guilty of something. And that was the one thing I couldn’t tell you. But you knew me so well . . . God, what a complete mess . . .’
‘You broke my heart.’ Didi couldn’t control the wobble in her voice. ‘When you left back then.’
‘But I came back.’
‘Then you went off again, with Caz.’ She took a step towards him. ‘And now you’re back. Again.’
‘For good, this time. Well,’ Shay’s voice softened, ‘only if you want me to stay.’
Sometimes you just couldn’t wait a single second more for the other person to make the first move. Didi closed the gap between them, wrapped her arms around his neck and parted her mouth to meet his. Thirteen years of longing was compressed into one wild, heaven-sent kiss, and a surge of adrenalin fizzed through her veins, almost knocking her off balance with its power. There were fireworks exploding, drums drumming and angels singing. Nothing else mattered in the world other than the joy of being back at last in Shay’s arms and the magical sensation of his never-forgotten lips on hers.