by Hope Ford
She gasps then. “You’re a mercenary.” Again, amazing me with her knowledge of things.
I nod my head. “Yeah.”
She seems to be interested but also a little concerned. “Isn’t that dangerous?”
“Honey, any time you are defending your country and have a nation at your back depending on you, it’s dangerous,” I tell her truthfully.
She gets quiet after that, and I can tell she’s soaking it all in.
We finish our meal and I pay for her food. She argues with me when we get outside, but I cut her off. “No, when a man takes you out on a date, they pay for you, honey.”
She looks up at me, eyes wide. “No, they don’t. I went out with Andy last year, and I paid.”
I shake my head. “In today’s world I guess it’s different. Maybe that’s okay for some men and some women, but not for me. I wanted to buy you dinner. That’s how I was raised and I’m finding out that my world is a little different than yours.”
She doesn’t seem offended, and we start to walk back the way we came. “Let’s walk a little.”
I start to walk past the library and stop on the middle of the bridge that gives a spectacular view of the lakefront.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” she asks.
When I don’t answer, she looks back at me. “Yes.” I answer her, but I’m not looking at the water behind her, I’m looking at her.
She smirks, shaking her head. “I’m not beautiful.”
She tries to turn back around, but I cage her in, with my hands on the railing on each side of her. “You are beautiful. You’re smart and kind. You’re way too good for me, but I still want to kiss you.”
“You promised,” she whispers.
I nod my head. “I know. I’m not touching you. When we were eating, I wanted to hold your hand across the table, but I didn’t. When we were walking, I wanted your hand in mine, but I didn’t grab it. And right now, I want to kiss you so bad I can’t stand it, but I won’t. I told you that you would have to ask for it, and I meant it. I won’t go back on my word.”
I straighten then, dropping my hands from the railing. “No matter how much it kills me.”
I walk a few feet away and look at the lake with the lights shining on it. I’m trying to calm myself, to get under control, but it’s hard. She’s like no one I’ve ever dated before. Why is this so hard for me? Why can’t I just walk away?
I can hear her breathing as she walks up behind me. Her hand touches my shoulder and I hold in the groan.
“Travis?”
I answer her, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice. “Yeah, honey?”
“Would you? I mean, I’d like it if you kissed me.”
I flip around so fast, putting my hands on her waist and tugging her to me. “I’m only going to ask you once, are you sure?”
She starts to ramble. “Am I sure this is a good idea? No. Am I sure I want you to kiss me? Yes.”
As soon as she gets the y out of yes, I’m already lowering my head to taste her. And when our lips touch it’s like there are fireworks going off all around us. I don’t know which of us gasps—hell, maybe both of us do, but I do know that I take the opportunity to deepen the kiss. My hands tighten on her hips and I pull her up against me. Even with her height difference she fits against me perfectly, almost like we were made for each other.
I moan, devouring her lips with mine. She may be inexperienced, but she has a God-given talent for this. My hand slides up her waist and I stroke the underside of her breast. She whimpers and when I palm her breast, I’m pretty sure I’ve died and gone to heaven.
I’m on fire for her, and that’s the only explanation I have for not realizing we have an audience. “Miss Bethany, is that you?”
We pull apart and one glance of her surprised face and swollen lips, I put her behind me, not wanting the man with the voice to see her like this. Even still, she yells over my shoulder, “Yes. It’s me, Sheriff.” And I can hear the hitch in her voice.
He walks closer. “Well, are you okay?”
I can imagine how embarrassed she is. “Yes, Sheriff, I’m fine.” She tries to come around me again, but I put my arm around her waist.
He shines the light at my eyes, but I don’t cower. “Who are you?”
“Travis Dawson.”
“Madge’s nephew?”
“Yes, sir.”
“I would say she wouldn’t be too happy to know that you’re here on the street taking advantage of our sweet Bethany. Hell, son, I don’t think anyone in this town would be happy to know that.”
Who’s he calling son? I’ve got at least ten years on him and if Bethany wasn’t here I’d show him exactly what I think of him interrupting us because he’s nosy. My fists tighten at my side, but almost instantly I calm when I feel Bethany slide her hand into mine.
Her voice has leveled out now and already I miss the sound of it after our lovemaking. “Sheriff, I’m fine and Travis is not taking advantage of me. I asked him to kiss me.”
As soon as the admission leaves her, I want to punch something, and the sheriff is what comes to mind. I release Bethany’s hand and walk in front of her. “That’s enough. Surely you have more important things to do than to interrupt two people out for a stroll. Now, do you need anything else, Sheriff?”
He acts all big and bad. “I’ll be seeing you around.” But even as he’s saying it, he’s getting back into his cruiser.
As soon as he drives off and I look at her, I know we won’t be picking up where we left off.
“I’ve got to go,” she says and starts walking toward the library. I keep up with her easily and try to give her time to process everything. To me, it’s not a big deal. But for her I know it is. She’s in a small town and the fact that she was out kissing with a man will be all over town by tomorrow.
When she gets to her car, she gets in and tries to shut the door, but I stop her. “I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head and even smiles a little at me. “You have nothing to apologize for. You kept your word. I asked you for that kiss. But all this, I mean, it just proves how wrong I am for you. You’re leaving… and I’m staying. This is a small town.”
Even though I agree with everything she says, I can’t let her drive away. “I know what you’re saying… but I want to spend more time with you.”
“Travis…”
“Hear me out. No more funny business, period. Even if you ask me. I just, I don’t know, there’s something about you and it gives me a little bit of peace in my existence. I don’t normally experience that, and I want to savor it. But I know that’s not fair to you, but I’m still asking. Go out with me. No more kissing.”
I wait for her to tell me no. Hell, I’m almost positive that’s what she’s going to say to me, but when she lifts her eyes to mine, the words seem clogged in her throat. When she says, “Okay,” she looks as surprised as I feel.
7
Bethany
A week with Travis. I’ve spent the week with him and I think I’m in love with him. I want to bury my head in my pillow just thinking about it. He’s 100 percent military. He’s made it clear he doesn’t want a commitment. He’s leaving in a week. How stupid can you get, Bethany?
The day after he kissed me on the bridge, he took me to a movie and out to dinner. We’ve spent time with his Aunt Madge, cooking, eating, and just hanging out. We’ve gone to the park, hiking in the mountains, and I even talked him into doing story time at the library. Last night he stayed here until almost midnight and we ordered pizza and watched movies. And it was the most tormenting night of my life.
He’s kept true to his word: he hasn’t kissed me again. He hasn’t even held my hand. And I thought he’d changed his mind about me, but I know that’s not the case. The way he watches me, the way the air crackles when we’re around each other, and the way he reaches for me and then right before he touches me, he pulls back. I know he’s tempted to break the rules, and in a way, I want him to.
&n
bsp; Knock. Knock.
I roll over in the bed and groan. If I could, I would lie here all day thinking about Travis.
I jump out of bed, wondering who in the world it could be this early on a Saturday morning. I put on my robe, yawning, then I pad on bare feet to the door and open it. Mid yawn, I squeak and start to slam the door, but a big boot stops me.
Travis pushes the door open farther, comes inside, and slams it behind him. “Is that how you always open the door?”
He measures me with an appraising look, his gaze as intimate as a kiss. His eyes darken, and I can feel my nipples tightening under his needy stare.
I know he asked me a question, but I can’t answer him. There are so many emotions I feel right now, but the one that takes over is need. I need him. Even if it’s just one night. Even if it’s only until he leaves, I know I can’t let him leave without giving myself to him totally.
He takes a step toward me, reaches for me, and drops his hand. I don’t even try to hide the disappointment on my face. “No, I don’t always answer the door like this. But maybe I was hoping it was you.”
I tilt my chin up stubbornly and with more confidence than I really have, but I know I have to be brave and be fierce to get what I want. And what I want is him.
“Go. Get. Dressed. Bethany.” His words are clipped and there’s an edge to his voice. It’s almost like he’s barely able to control himself right now.
It gives me a heady determination. “No.”
If anything, his stance hardens and he looks almost fierce. I know he’s big and strong and probably not used to hearing the word no, but it doesn’t sway me. I take a step toward him, and I feel my hard nipples press against his chest. He sucks in a breath of air, but I look at him steadily. “I don’t want to get dressed.”
He grabs on to my arms and pulls me roughly against him. “You don’t know what you’re saying, Bethany.”
I lean my head back and gaze into his eyes. I want him to know how sincere I am. “I know what I’m saying and I know what I’m asking for. I want you, Travis.” He starts to talk, but I put my hand on his chest. “I know. You don’t do relationships or commitments. I know you’re leaving. But I also know that if I don’t do this, I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life. I’m not asking you for anything. Only this.” I grab on to his hand and put his palm over my breast. I moan softly at his touch, but I don’t let my gaze waver. I want him to see how needy I am for him.
He wraps his hand around my neck and kisses me. The kiss he gave me on the bridge is nothing compared to the one he’s laying on me right now. It’s experienced and thorough and completely consumes me, but I don’t care. I want it. I want him.
He releases me long enough to bend and pick me up in his arms, and he carries me to the couch. I hook my arms around his neck and when he sits down with me in his lap, I feel the evidence of his attraction on my bottom. My hands go to his shoulders, down his arms, and then I’m tugging on the hem to pull it over his head. He lets me, but he winces when I gasp.
“Oh my God,” I cry, running my hands across the man scars of his chest. “What happened?”
And because I can’t stand it, because I know that at least one of those is a bullet scar, I start to cry. Big fat tears roll down my cheeks, but I don’t try to stop them. I’m touching every piece of puckered skin with my fingers and then pressing my lips to them. When I’ve reached all the ones I see, I raise my eyes to him, cupping his cheek, and then I kiss the scar on his cheek tenderly. I know he doesn’t want my pity, and that’s not what this is. I’m crying for the man he is and what’s happened to him. I have a real hero in my arms and I know even if it’s only one night, I’d be honored to have him.
“Bethy, baby. Please don’t cry. I can’t stand for you to be upset like this.” His hands are stroking up and down my back as he tries to comfort me.
Be strong, Bethany, I tell myself. I sniffle and wipe at my tears and manage a tentative smile.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry.”
Travis
She says she’s fine, but I know she’s not. I should have warned her. I reach around her and pull her to me so she’s lying against my chest, her head tucked under my chin. We stay like this until I can feel her relax, neither one of us in a hurry to move.
All I can think about is the overwhelming emotion that she had when she saw my injuries. I haven’t had someone care for me like that in a long time.
I can feel the minute that her mind goes back to what we were doing. Her finger is tracing around my nipple and I grit my teeth. “Bethy, I’m only so strong. I promised you that even if you asked for it, I wouldn’t do this.”
She lifts her head to look at me and I try not to see it, but I do. She loves me. I can tell by the softness of her gaze and the fact that she’s willing to do this. She’s the type that would only be willing to do this if she loved someone.
She kisses my shoulder, my neck, and then my cheek. “I don’t care what you promised. I’m giving you an out. I want this, Travis. I want you.”
“Fuck, Bethany. I have no control when it comes to you.” I pull her backwards so she’s lying flat on my lap. Her head is on the arm of the sofa and her robe is open, showing me the short T-shirt and panties she has on.
Because she’s irresistible, I palm her breast through her T-shirt, pinching her hard nipples. She arches her back, pushing her chest farther into my hand. “Yes.” She moans, and I shift underneath of her. My cock is like in a vise in my jeans.
I run my hand down her soft belly and rub the skin that is showing between her shirt and her panties. But then I can’t resist, and I slide my hand down under the band of her underwear and seek out her mound, knowing she’s wet for me. Her legs widen, giving me access, and I watch her face as I touch her wet slit, stroking my fingers through her untouched pussy. Her eyes widen, but she keeps looking at me, her heart in her eyes.
My heart is pounding in my chest, knowing I want to please her but also knowing I’m not going to hurt her. She may think she can do this without any repercussions, but getting to know her this week, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself, doing this, letting me fuck her, outside of marriage.
So my plan is to make her feel good and then go.
“Breathe, Bethy,” I whisper to her as I run my finger back and forth over her clit.
She lets out a breath but then holds it again, her hips lifting slightly against my hand.
I stroke through her swollen lips and slowly enter her, just a little, just enough to feel her tighten around me, and then I pull out and go back to her bundle of nerves. It isn’t long before she’s whimpering, pulsing her hips, and right before I’m about to push her over the edge, she grabs on to my hand to stop me, her eyes wide in fear.
But I don’t stop. My voice is soft, and I urge her along. “Don’t be scared. Let it go, baby. I promise you it’s going to be the best thing you’ve ever felt. I’m right here. Let go. Come for me, Bethy.”
And she does as I ask. She rides the pleasure out, her body flexing, her legs clamping on to my hand, but I still don’t stop. I want her to scream my name, so I keep pressure on her throbbing little bud until she’s spent and her orgasm has wracked through her whole body.
Her cheeks are flushed hot, but thankfully I don’t see any regret on her face. She scoots up a little, lifting her body and straddling me. She reaches for the button of my jeans, but I hold on to her hand. “No, baby.”
She looks unsure, and the happiness that was on her face only moments ago is now gone. “You don’t want me,” she deadpans.
She starts to get up, but I hold on to her hands, gripping her wrists and holding her where she’s at. “I do want you. But I know that if we do this, you won’t be able to live with the guilt, and honestly, neither will I.”
She looks like she may argue, but she doesn’t. She knows what I’m saying is the truth.
I lean in and kiss her, an all-consuming kiss that makes me crazy and needy. I jerk away. “Marry
me.”
Her lips are swollen and her eyes are glazed over, but she gasps. “What?”
I shake my head, knowing I’m screwing this up, but she has to know the truth. “I can’t love you, Bethany. I was married before, and when she died, well, I’ll never be able to love again. But I want to marry you. We could be there for each other. I would have a home, someone to come home to. You wouldn’t have to do it alone anymore. We have a lot in common, and already we get along more than most married people I know. Do it, Bethy. Marry me.”
She looks at me for the longest time. And I know right then that she’s going to do it. Not because she needs to get married, or even wants to. She’s going to do it because she loves me and she sees the loneliness in me. She’s the most unselfish woman I’ve ever met, and I know she’s marrying me right now because I want it… even though I can’t give her what she really wants… my heart.
“Yes. Okay, I’ll marry you,” she says softly.
8
Bethany
Ever since I told him yes, I haven’t had a second thought about it. I know what type of man he is and he wouldn’t have asked me if he didn’t want to. I also know that I want to do this. I love him. I’m shameless and know I shouldn’t, I know he won’t love me back, but I don’t have any choice. I’ve fallen for him fast and hard. I rub my hand over my chest, thinking about the moment he told me that he was married before and his wife had died. I know he’ll never love me, he’s incapable to give that emotion when he still loves his dead wife, but I love him. It’s as simple as that.
His Aunt Madge was thrilled about the wedding and my parents too, although they’re not able to travel to be here for it. It seems my mom hurt her hip and they weren’t going to tell me, but I insisted that my father stay with her with the promise that Travis and I would come see them soon.