by Jeny Heckman
“You really are the sweetest man on the planet,” Que said misty-eyed. “Too bad we’re the only ones that know it.”
“Well, I wanted to say something sweet before telling Raven that she looks like a bobblehead of toilet paper rolls.” She tilted her head and smirked in sisterly tolerance as Barb chuckled and began to dress her hair.
****
Twenty minutes later, Raven stood in a gossamer blue and white ombré dress that floated around her ankles. The silky material connected to a delicate chain that went over one shoulder. Centered on the fabric was her gold medallion necklace. Barb had swept up one side of her loose golden waves and secured it with fresh yellow plumeria, tipped in pinks and corals.
Behind the scenes, her new agent, Elizabeth, and stage manager, Barry, were quietly running the show. Backstage there was a level of high expectation yet still relative calm. Wyatt seemed to know intuitively he was no longer needed for reassurance and sat out front with Que and Abby.
Backstage, Raven stood in the wings, face tilted up to the sky, nervously preparing herself. It felt like the very first time she performed before a live audience. After her introduction, she walked out, waving and smiling with genuine confidence to the microphone. Raising a hand to shield her eyes from the lights and looking out at the crowd, she saw indeed each chair and patch of grass filled. Her mouth curved into a smile at the standing ovation.
“Aww, you’re sweet. Thank you so much.” When they continued to applaud, she opened her arms as if to embrace the collective and responded by saying, “And I haven’t even done anything yet.”
The crowd laughed and continued to applaud. She lowered her hands and her eyes connected with Dee in the front row. The older woman beamed at her and waved, and Raven waved back with excitement. She saw Nate and Annie seated next to Dee, as well as many of the friends she’d made while on Kaua’i. However, the one person she did not see was Finn. Her eyes scanned as far as the lights allowed and her heart sank. She thought he would come if only to support this new choice she’d made. Biting her bottom lip to suppress emotion, she continued.
“So, again, thank you so much for coming out tonight. As you can see, we’re doing things a little differently. I’m trying some new music, and new songs. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have, preparing them for you.”
She walked to the white baby grand piano and began to play her music and songs, her way. At first, the audience was confused, but when they realized what was happening and that the concert marked a significant change, they responded. As she played some of her more meaningful pieces, she’d introduce them and give a quick explanation for their origin. Her songs poured out of her, and she crested on the tops of them, delighting in the response of the audience.
At the break, she’d requested solitude as Polynesian dancers swayed and performed to her music. Sitting in her chair, she closed her eyes, listening to the quiet and felt peace. By the end of the concert, she was ready to celebrate with her family and friends. So, sitting on a stool, she set up the final song.
“Many of you might have noticed, I’ve changed my show drastically. In my early twenties, just starting out, there’s wasn’t a lot of experiences to draw from, so you draw from others. You trust others because you don’t always trust yourself.
“As I’ve grown older, I’ve drawn my own conclusions on life, and for years, I’ve been writing them down. What you’ve heard tonight is the accumulation of a lifetime of experiences, seen through my filters. I’ve been extremely fortunate to come from gifted, talented people. A strong line of women and men who tried to leave their mark on the world.
“So, with that in mind, this last song is a little different. Out there somewhere I have a twin brother.” She gestured toward the audience, skimming over Wyatt, in case he didn’t want the attention. “And after our parents died, we had to rely quite heavily on one another over the years. But our parents were musical, and there’s one song I remembered my father used to sing.”
She locked eyes with Wyatt, who looked surprised.
“My brother just fell out of his chair. Right now, he’s looking at me and thinking, what.” Raven laughed with the audience and continued. “Anyway, my father sang this, and for some reason, it has carried me through the good, the bad, and very ugly times.” She looked into the glossy lights at the eager faces looking back at her in anticipation. Que and Wyatt beamed at her choice to risk vulnerability, knowing what it meant to her.
“So, this last song is just slightly borrowed from my father. In fact, I only knew one verse of one song. I chose to make it the chorus and write the rest myself. So, this is for…Well, my apologies, but it’s for me, and it’s entitled, ‘I Sing.’” She took a deep breath and began.
This journey I have made, and the lessons I have learned.
I walked with you my brother, our parents’ voices strongly heard.
For when we walked together, your strength to me you’d bring.
But I must travel on today and with my own voice, sing.
I sing to you a thousand words and a thousand feelings more.
Of home and hearth and family, and sun and moon adored.
And in my time remaining, to my cherished hearts, I sing.
Great love and peace and blessings, I hope your life will bring.
Wyatt bowed his head and listened, smiling at her words and tribute to himself and their parents. He lifted his head and nodded at her, and she smiled back.
There was a reason, the thieves could steal my will.
My barriers were broken, and the scars refused to heal.
Until I found my power and struck the mighty blow.
To those that would seek me harm, now they reap what I did sow.
I sing to you a thousand words, and a thousand feelings more.
Of home and hearth and family, and sun and moon adored.
And in my time remaining, to my cherished hearts, I sing.
Great love and peace and blessings, I hope your life will bring.
Her eyes traveled over the audience as she sang the chorus. However, her attention was strongly pulled in one direction and finally settled on Finn, as it had the first time she saw him. He was standing alone to the side, leaning against a pillar, looking every bit as beautiful as he did the first moment she saw him. The strangest expression was on his face, and she shifted her body slightly to sing his verse to him.
Once I had a moment, just a precious point in time.
Like music over water, that I was yours and you were mine.
And now that we have parted, and our hearts no longer true.
You place in my forever, for forever I’ll love you.
As she finished the last chorus and the vibrations from the guitar strings ended, the crowd roared to its feet, applauding. Raven closed her eyes and paused, allowing in the approval. Flashing a brilliant smile, she stood and took her bow. Looking back to the pillar, Raven saw that Finn was gone. Again, as if taking a page from their first encounter, she wondered if he was ever really there. She bowed again and waved while walking offstage.
Elated with the triumph, Raven passed behind the curtain to thunderous applause from her crew. She blushed and clapped for them as well. Wyatt came running in and swooped her up into a dizzying spin, as Que and Abby joined them. Raven hugged each in turn, as champagne was popped and poured. Nate and Annie approached, and Raven rubbed her baby bump, before finally seeing Dee.
“Dee!” She ran to her and rubbed a cheek against the older woman’s papery cheek. “I’m so glad you came. Did you like it?”
“It was all so wonderful.” Dee patted her hand. “Just perfect. I’ll never forget it, not ever. You look so beautiful. And the way you blended everything together was just wonderful dear, pure perfection.”
Tonight, Dee’s trademark floppy hat contained sizeable pink hibiscus flowers woven into the band and she held it at her side. Her long, wavy, silver hair was down and loose on her shoulders. Raven wondered how she’d missed this beaut
iful aspect of her friend and held the older woman’s hands out, admiring her white eyelet dress.
“Wow, look at you—you’re breathtaking.” Dee’s cheeks bloomed into a blush, and she held Raven’s hand. The younger woman chanced a glance, hoping she’d see Finn, but Dee answered the question she wouldn’t ask.
“I’m so sorry honey, he went back. He’s…” She waved a hand in frustration and dismissal. “It took a lot just to get him to come.”
“Oh. Oh… No, I completely understand,” Raven said, trying hard to steady her voice. “It was really nice to see him. In fact, I wasn’t entirely sure it was him.” She bit her bottom lip, to keep the tears at bay. “Just tell him I’m honored he came, okay?”
“Yes, I will. Now let’s get you some champagne.”
****
Finn watched her glide onto the stage, looking happy, so damn happy and so incredibly beautiful. He exhaled a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Watching her perform made him think of that first barbecue at Nate and Annie’s. Raven singing, as the sun set, was probably the moment he fell in love with her. He knew it was true, but still, he didn’t stay with her. He couldn’t believe the performance. It was everything she said she wanted and the fact that her life had shifted so dramatically from the woman he’d last faced, shocked him.
When she reached the last song, he understood how much it cost her to open so much of herself to another person, let alone an entire amphitheater of people. The verse she’d written for her brother and parents had been touching. The verse she sang to him, confusing. He didn’t know if she was talking about their past or that her feelings still included him.
Finn wanted desperately to tell her he was proud of her but some unforeseen element wouldn’t allow it. So, when the crowd stood, he’d decided it was the perfect time to make his exit. He saw what he’d come to see and he was incapable of the required small talk and pleasantries. The alternative would be hurt and disappointment, from his past actions. Neither seemed appealing. So, he texted Dee and went in search of a drink, then bed. He approached the cabana and ordered whiskey. After paying and taking a sip, he turned and ran right into Wyatt.
“Sorry man,” Raven’s brother began, then did a double take. “Hey, what’s good, brother?” He held out a hand, and Finn clasped it.
“You look good.”
“Thanks, you too,” Wyatt said, then nodded to the reception area. “She had a good night, didn’t she?”
“Yeah, fantastic.” There was a long agonizing pause, so Wyatt turned to the bartender and showed credentials.
“I need three champagnes.” Turning to Finn, he asked, “You wanna come back?”
“Ah.” He looked around. “Nah, I’m good.”
“She’d love to see ya, man.”
“Yeah, it’s been awhile, right?”
“Yeah.” Wyatt rocked back on his heels. “Lot’s happened since then.” When the blond man only nodded, he continued, “If her song was any indication, I think she misses you.” Finn looked up quickly, searching Wyatt’s face, confused. “What? You don’t think that song was about you?”
“I thought… I mean, I didn’t…”
“You really are an idiot.” The bartender handed three flutes to Wyatt, who continued to look at the other man. Finally, he turned and grabbed them, starting to walk away. “Are you coming or not?”
“No.” Finn sulked; he was getting real tired of being called an idiot.
“Fine, whatever, but you’re making a mistake, and what’s worse is, you know you are.” He turned to leave and almost disappeared behind the curtain.
“Wait,” Finn called, and Wyatt turned back around, grinning.
****
Raven enjoyed the after party. She watched friends of her past collide with those of her present, enjoying one another. Dee had attached herself to Abby and listened tirelessly as the girl chatted away about everything from her next birthday party to her surgery. She admired the girl’s sparkling dress and long spiraling curls. In turn, Abby tried on the older woman’s hat and giggled at the flowers.
“Abby, are you being good?” Raven asked as she approached.
“Look at me Raven, can I show Mama?”
“Who do you need to ask?”
“Dee, can I?”
“Of course, dear,” Dee said, then chuckled as the little girl scampered away.
Raven’s gaze followed her too but knew the smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. She looked at Dee watching her, waiting.
“How is he, Dee?” Raven asked, giving up the pretense.
“He’s been okay. Work’s been keeping him busy, but he’s been doing well. Got a big donation and it looks like they’re going to get their rehab facility.” Raven’s entire face lit up.
“Oh Dee, that’s fantastic. Nate didn’t say anything. They must be so excited.”
“They are,” Dee confirmed. “He’s excited and proud of you too.”
Raven nodded and looked over at Que, breathtaking in a fit and flare silver dress that matched her daughter’s. Two Polynesian men in Hawaiian shirts flanked her and she had one eye trained on her daughter as she twirled. Without reason, Abby ran back to the women, efficiently ending their discussion. The party continued for a couple of hours until one by one, the guests said good night for a final time.
Raven’s group returned to the hotel so Que could put Abby to bed. Wyatt walked on the beach with his sister, as the moon glowed bright, illuminating the sandy beach.
“Why are you smiling?” she asked, looping her fingers around the straps of her shoes to carry them.
“Why not?”
“What did you do?”
“What do you mean?”
“You have that look.”
“What look?” He stopped and looked at her with all innocence.
“That look that you’ve done something you’re not supposed to. Was it the hula girl?”
“No.” He looked at her in mock offense. “Seriously, is that what you think of me?” When she only stared at him wearily, he confessed, “I’m just gonna say she was a phenomenal kisser and had healthy coconuts.”
“Not enough time to close the deal?”
“Right,” he said, grinning, then swung an arm over her shoulders and tapped his temple to hers. “I was proud of you tonight.”
“It was good, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah. I didn’t remember that song until you sang it. I think the melody was close to the way he did it.”
“I thought so too but wasn’t sure, so thanks for confirming it.”
“Did you see Taylor?”
“Yeah, Dee said he left.”
“Left where?”
“I don’t know. I assume home. I didn’t ask Dee. Did you talk to him?”
“No, I didn’t see him until you looked over there.” He evaded. When she remained quiet, he glanced at her, then looked ahead. “Oh hey.” He pointed to a little hut. “Can I buy you a drink?”
“Ah, ye-ah.”
“Mai Tai it is. Just chill.”
He walked over to the hut, and she sat down on the silky sand, smiling serenely when she heard him order the drinks extra strong. Leaning back, she extended her arms behind her to support her weight and tilted her head back, feeling the warm wind on her face. She could hear him clink the glasses together.
“You ordered them extra strong, and now you’re going to spill them everywhere?” she asked, chuckling and bending her head back farther to look at him upside down, but it wasn’t her brother.
“Finn.”
Chapter 37
Raven scrambled up and turned to see Wyatt’s retreating back. He had obviously stayed only long enough to make sure she was okay with the turn of events.
“How are you?” Finn asked.
“I’m…good. How have you been?”
“Ah.” He looked at the beverages. “Well, not great.” He set the drinks down, which promptly spilled, unnoticed, and stood again.
“No?”
“I…” He lowered his head and took in a deep breath before looking at her again. “I haven’t handled anything right here, have I?” She breathed out a short laugh.
“Neither have I.”
“What happened in Seattle? Dee told me some stuff but…”
“After you left, I…well, I was pretty hurt. What you said really hurt me.”
“I know. I’m sorry Raven.” She shook her head.
“But you also confirmed what I’d been feeling for a long time. So, I walked out.”
He looked down the surf and back at her, beaming.
“Please tell me you flipped off Dell. My life would be seriously complete.”
“You fractured his nose.”
“All the better.”
“No, I didn’t, but I fired him and slapped Donovan.”
“You did not.”
“I did, I really did.” She looked down the beach, laughing freely. “Afterward, I went home, and for two weeks I didn’t leave. Not because I was depressed or anything, but because I wrote down pages and pages of things. Things I wanted to do, songs and music I wanted to write. I sold my condo and car for a great deal. Settled everything with Jason and Donovan. Well, basically got rid of everything in my old life that I didn’t want anymore.”
“Where are you living now?”
“With Que and Abby,” she answered, laughing. “It’s been a lot of fun.”
“How’s the kid doing?”
“Oh, she’s so great.” Raven’s face lit up. “If you’re staying, I’d love for you to meet them.”
“I already did, when I came looking for you.”
“Why did you come looking for me, Finn?” He slid his hands into the pockets of his jeans as they began to walk along the beach.
“When I came back nothing was the same. Alaula was gone and Kaimi…”
“Is he okay?” She panicked and put a hand on his arm. “I never got to tell you how devastated I was and am for you about Alaula. She meant so much to you. I’m so sorry Finn. Do they know what happened to her?”