Then Jameson pulled away, and Avery whined for an entirely different reason. He tried to pull Jameson back to him—maybe he could get Jameson’s mouth on his nipple this time—but Jameson would not be deterred. When Avery realized Jameson was stripping him out of his pants, he let him do it. He even lifted his hips to make it easier to get the pants and briefs down.
Then Jameson’s hand was on his dick, and his mouth was on Avery’s nipple, and Avery grabbed the pillow and pushed it over his own face so no one could hear him scream.
Jameson moaned, and then he gently pulled the pillow away. He straddled Avery and leaned down.
“I want to see your face.”
Avery shook his head, but he held Jameson’s gaze as he arched up, wanting more skin against his.
“I’m loud,” Avery whispered.
Jameson’s gaze heated. “I know.”
“I can’t….” Avery gasped again when Jameson slid back, grabbed Avery’s dick, and rubbed a thumb across his glans. He had to work to get enough breath so he could speak. “I don’t want them to hear.”
Jameson stilled for just a second, but then he nodded. “Okay. You want me here?”
He moved his fingers and lightly tapped against Avery’s hole. Avery muffled his moan in his hand and nodded.
“You okay being on your stomach?”
Avery didn’t check the groan in time, but he didn’t even care. “God. Yes. Please.”
Jameson moved. “Turn over.”
Flipping fast, Avery spread his legs and pulled his right knee up to expose his hole. He loved getting fucked from behind, the force of it, the feeling of being surrounded. It was his favorite position, and it had been so long.
“Go slow,” he managed to get out.
Jameson surged forward and kissed him long and deeply. Avery was so distracted by the kiss, by trying to get more of Jameson’s mouth, that he didn’t even hear the pop of the cap until he felt cool, lube-slicked fingers at his entrance. He pulled away and buried his face in the pillow. It was the only way to muffle his sounds.
Jameson was careful, but the stretch and burn made Avery shiver and gasp. It was just this side of painful. Considering how long it had been since he’d had anything in his ass, Avery wasn’t surprised. But Jameson took his time opening and slicking Avery’s hole until the slight pain morphed into sweet pleasure.
Then Jameson pulled his fingers away. Avery tried to breathe and relax and barely registered the rip of plastic and the sounds of Jameson slicking his dick. A moment later he felt the pressure of Jameson at his hole. Avery breathed out a breath, arched his back, and pushed his ass up.
Slowly Jameson slid inside. Inch by inch Avery’s body adjusted and let Jameson in, but he was panting by the time Jameson was seated. He was so full he felt stretched almost beyond what he could take. But this was Jameson, and Jameson was inside him.
Avery wiggled just a little, and his entire body lit up with sensation. Jameson took it as his cue. He planted his hands on either side of Avery’s torso and started to thrust. He kept it easy and slow, and the drag of Jameson’s cock against Avery’s rim made him groan.
“Harder.”
Jameson continued to thrust but didn’t increase his force—long, smooth slides out, same thrust back in. Avery whined and tried to push back, but he didn’t have any leverage.
“Jamie, please.”
Jameson gave two hard jabs that made Avery’s breath catch.
“Don’t call me Jamie.”
Avery buried his grin in the pillow and then turned his head enough to chant, “Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.”
Jameson growled, and there was a hint of amusement in his tone when he said, “Oh, so it’s gonna be like that, then, is it?”
Jameson pulled out completely, but then he pushed Avery’s legs farther apart with his hands and fit himself in between. He grabbed Avery’s hips and pulled him up just a little. Then he thrust back in hard. Avery pushed his face into the pillow and howled.
He got his knees under him just enough to keep himself still. Jameson pounded into him, over and over, and picked up the speed and force. He found the right angle and slammed against Avery’s spot. Avery couldn’t catch his breath, but he didn’t need to breathe anyway. He needed to come.
“Right there,” he gasped out, but since Jameson didn’t let up, it probably wasn’t necessary.
Jameson bent forward and latched onto Avery’s ear.
“You gonna come without a hand on your dick?” Jameson growled with his teeth around Avery’s earlobe.
“Yeah,” Avery whined. “Please. Harder.”
Jameson didn’t stop, didn’t let up, and suddenly Avery was coming. He managed to keep his scream mostly buried in the pillow, and everything whited out for a moment as he spilled himself onto the bed. He was vaguely aware of Jameson’s deep grunt and the way he pressed hard against Avery’s ass.
It wasn’t until he felt Jameson pull away—hand on the condom—that he realized Jameson came too. Avery grinned and stretched, purposefully making his sore muscles twinge so he could feel it. God, that was exactly what he needed.
Jameson came back a moment later with a wet cloth, and he batted Avery’s hands away when he tried to take it. He cleaned Avery up and then pulled him into an embrace and settled Avery’s sated body against his.
Correction. That was what he needed.
“I gotta ask.” Jameson’s voice was quiet, and Avery smiled and turned his head to kiss Jameson’s chest.
“I’m fine.” Avery’s smile grew. “Better than, actually.”
“Good.” Jameson settled further, adjusted the pillow behind his head, and used his feet to pull up the blanket until he could grab it and pull it over them. “But we gotta talk about you calling me Jamie.”
Avery didn’t even try to check the laugh.
Chapter Twenty-One
HOW did two and a half weeks go by so fast? There had been a time in Avery’s life when each hour felt like a month, so why was it now that time moved so quickly? He couldn’t believe the training class was wrapping up, that there were only two days left.
Avery hadn’t gone back to New Jersey. When he first made his travel plans, he intended to head home after his last lecture and only return for the final day of classes to see off the trainees. There were going to be speeches and an unofficial graduation, and Avery wanted to be a part of that. But instead he stayed in Blake and Derek’s house, helping out with the class when he could. He’d ghostwalked twice more for Jameson in the past two weeks. Mostly, he just waited for Jameson to be done for the day so they could spend the evening together.
And it was all but over.
Avery wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He was glad the session was complete and that everyone had done so well. Considering Michael hadn’t even wanted the training program to be installed at the Duncan Moor branch, it was a complete success. In fact he’d overheard Renata telling Michael that it was one of the most successful training sessions Requiem Inc. had ever had. The brass were pleased.
But now that it was over, Jameson would be assigned to a ghostwalker, and he could be sent to any one of the forty-seven branch offices spread throughout the country.
He always knew his time with Jameson had a limit, but now that it was here, Avery’s heart hurt. He couldn’t stand the thought of losing Jameson. At the same time, he was grateful for Jameson’s care and affection. It had made such a difference in his life.
“Are you listening to me?”
Avery startled and then turned his attention to Michael. They were in his office, and even though Avery was stretched out on the couch, Michael was sitting in his huge—and slightly imposing—leather chair. Avery gave him an apologetic grin.
“No. I wasn’t.”
Michael blew out a breath and rolled his eyes, but Avery saw the amusement underlying his expression.
“As I was saying,” Michael stressed and stopped to give Avery a mock glare. “You were right about Pensacola.”
&n
bsp; Avery sat up. “Wait. What?”
“I made discreet inquiries after your ranty text, remember?” Michael gave Avery a look, so Avery nodded. “And it turns out they haven’t updated the training protocols in more than twenty years.”
“How is that possible?”
“The director there has been in charge for almost fifty years.” Michael made a face. “He’s such a longstanding member of the company and one of the most prolific ghostwalkers Requiem has ever had. So no one bothered to check up on him too closely.”
Avery braced his forearms on his knees. “And no one said anything? None of the trainees?”
Michael scratched his cheek. “Well, I guess there’s been a few concerns. But no one has really looked into it because it’s such a small program. Apparently I’m the only one pushy enough to actually keep going at it until I got answers.”
Avery snorted out a laugh. “Now that, I believe.”
Michael gave him a look but then shook his head. Avery let the news sink in. He knew there was something fishy about Pensacola when Jameson brought it up. It just didn’t sit right with him. He was glad that he’d brought it to Michael’s attention, and he’d told Michael because he knew that if anyone could get answers, it would be Michael.
“So what are they going to do?”
“That’s the thing….”
Avery squinted. He knew that tone. Michael could be as cagey as the next guy, but they’d been friends for almost twenty years. “What?”
“Jeanine thinks that you might be a good fit.”
Avery choked on air. “Excuse me?”
“And I agree.”
“What the hell?”
Michael stood and crossed the room. He sat down beside Avery, but when he tried to touch Avery’s shoulder, Avery pulled away. Scooting sideways, he gave his friend a hard glare.
“You know the ins and outs of ghostwalking as well as anyone else, and you have the added benefit of actually caring how people are trained. You’re up on the latest protocols. Hell, you helped write some of them in the past few years.”
“So?” Avery squinted.
“So,” Michael said with as much patience as he could muster, “it would make sense that you head down there and clean up the program.”
“I live in New Jersey.” Avery knew he sounded stubborn, but he couldn’t help it. Florida was a whole different world, and Avery had never had the desire to run his own program.
“So, make it temporary,” Michael offered. His tone said he thought he was being logical, but Avery just wanted to punch him in the throat for suggesting it. He couldn’t take Jameson to Florida if he took on a director’s position.
“You’re crazy.”
“You tell them that you only want to do it until they can get a competent director in place. You update the protocols and get the trainees and the program on the right track.” Michael acted like Avery hadn’t even spoken, but Avery wasn’t surprised. He was like a dog with a bone when he got something in his head.
“No.”
“Why not?”
Avery rolled his eyes. “Cut the ‘I’m so patient’ crap. I don’t want to hear it.”
Michael nodded. “Really, though. Why not?”
“Because directors are Guardians. Or retired ghostwalkers who have lost their anchors.”
Michael gave him a look. And it took Avery a long moment to realize what he said.
Guilt slammed into him hard. He had lost his anchor, but he wasn’t acting like it, because he’d been thinking about Jameson. It felt like he had an anchor again, so it didn’t even occur to him.
Avery closed his eyes. Maybe Jameson could get assigned to the Pensacola branch. Then they could stay together. Whoever Jameson was paired with probably wouldn’t mind the move. It was part and parcel to signing on with Requiem. The company sent you where they had room and resources.
The thought of Jameson having a partner nearly broke his heart, and then jealousy swarmed in when Avery thought of Jameson caring for someone else where he could see. Oh God. He couldn’t handle that. It would be way too hard, and he’d have to contend with that feeling all the time.
“Breathe, Avery.” Michael’s low voice broke into his thoughts, and the warm pressure on his neck made him lean forward. Avery sucked in ragged breath after ragged breath, trying to get himself under control. Christ, what was wrong with him?
“Is this about Jameson?”
“Stop reading me,” Avery bit out, but there was no heat behind his words.
“I don’t have to. I know you better than anyone else, and I do have eyes. I can see how you are with him. I haven’t seen that since….” Michael swallowed, and Avery silently begged him not to finish the sentence. But Michael did anyway. “Since Luke.”
“It’s not the same,” Avery insisted.
“No, it’s not. It can’t be. But still—”
“Stop, Michael. Please.”
Michael didn’t say anything else, but he slowly rubbed up and down Avery’s back. The action was soothing, and after long minutes, Avery was able to breathe normally again. He sat up, swiped a hand over his sweaty face, and then leaned against his friend’s shoulder.
“I don’t know what to do.”
Michael chuckled quietly. “Well, I can’t tell you what to do.”
Avery shot him a sideways glance, and Michael laughed again.
“Okay, I could. I’d even like to. But I won’t.”
Avery managed a shaky smile. “Not even a hint?”
“Nope.” Michael stood up. “Look, just think about it, all right? You’ve got options—one of those being just doing what you’ve been doing. Nothing has to change if you don’t want it to. But it can if you do. Just think.”
Avery stood up and left the office without another word. Michael didn’t call him back, but then again, his friend knew him well enough to know that Avery was lost inside his own head.
Options. The thought of that was foreign. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt he actually had choices. Since Luke, he’d only been surviving, trying to make it through each day. Even working for Requiem in the capacity he had been had felt like the only thing he could do.
But things had changed. Now there was a training program in need of restructuring. Could he do that? He wasn’t sure. Technically he was more than capable. But mentally? He didn’t know if he had enough in him to do everything that would need doing.
And there was Jameson, whom he cared for. His head told him the best thing would be to let Jameson go. Jameson would be paired with a ghostwalker, and he’d find a fulfilling life caring for them. He’d be making a difference, and that was all Jameson wanted to do.
Unsettled, Avery paced the hall on the sixth floor. If Julie thought it was weird, she didn’t say anything. She just gave him a smile if he happened to catch her eye as she kept working.
His life had changed irrevocably when Luke died, and the pain of that still lingered. But he could make the change. It wouldn’t be beyond his control. Whatever choice he made next, it would be because he wanted it.
Even if he chose to keep things the same.
He needed to talk to Jameson. The sudden urge was so strong that he didn’t even question it. He ran for the stairs and then up a floor, knowing Jameson would be in the lobby. All the trainees were lingering today, waiting for their assignments.
Several dozen heads turned his way when he slammed through the doors, but Jameson instantly spotted him and strode toward him. He didn’t hesitate to gather Avery to him and hold him close. Avery melted into his embrace. It was what he needed. He didn’t know what that meant, exactly. But God, did he need Jameson right then.
“You okay, honey?” Jameson’s voice was low and concerned, and just hearing it made Avery relax further. He nodded against Jameson’s chest.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Sure. Of course. Do you want to go to—”
“Come outside with me?”
“Absolutely.”
>
Avery smiled, and Jameson didn’t question it. He saw Avery needed it, and he jumped to provide it. He was an exceptional anchor.
Avery took his hand and went for the stairs. Neither said anything as they descended, and Avery pushed open the bar when they got to the bottom. He all but dragged Jameson around the side of the building to where a small patio of picnic tables and a few chairs were set out when the weather was nice.
He motioned to one of the chairs, and Jameson sat, his expression curious. Avery sat beside him, took a deep breath, and dove in.
“I’ve been asked to go to Pensacola.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
JAMESON knew, just by seeing Avery’s face, that something was wrong. So when Avery asked him to go outside and talk, he didn’t even hesitate. Whatever was making Avery look like that had to be bad, and Jameson would fix it if he could—until Avery opened his mouth and Jameson’s heart broke.
Pensacola was far away, and the chances were slim that Jameson would get assigned there. The closest branch to Pensacola was in Atlanta, and even that was at least a five-hour drive. Could Jameson get assigned there? That was manageable, at least. He wouldn’t have to give Avery up.
Jameson’s heart sank even more. Maybe Avery didn’t want to continue. The thought alone nearly made Jameson cry. He couldn’t stand the thought of leaving Avery, never seeing him again, never touching him and holding him. Not seeing to his needs was unthinkable.
“It would be a temporary thing, until they could get a new and competent director in place.” Avery blew out a breath, and Jameson saw the way his hands shook as he clasped them together. “And I’m not sure if I want to go.”
Just like that, relief flooded in. Jameson sat up straighter and gave Avery all his attention.
“You have a choice?”
Avery nodded. “It’s a lot to take on, even if it’s short-term, and I don’t know if I can handle it.”
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