by Sara Orwig
“I’ll miss you, too,” she choked out. She brushed past him and hurried to her suite, leaving him standing there. He was letting her go, just as he had told her he would from the very first.
Even in her suite she fought back her tears. She wouldn’t cry until she could get away from the ranch.
His words hurt because he didn’t sound as if breaking up their marriage disturbed him. And why would it? She was the one who had lost her heart—just what she didn’t want to do.
It was noon before the limo and her car were packed and ready. She stood looking at herself in the mirror in her suite. She wore her red dress and let her hair fall around her face. She wondered when she would see him again—in divorce court?
Leaving him hurt her more than she had dreamed possible, but she straightened her shoulders, drew in a breath and walked out of her room.
Marc sat on the back porch by the portico, waiting for her. When she stepped out, he came to his feet. The limo was ready and Randall, one of his ranch hands, waited by the passenger door with his back to them.
She turned to Marc. “I’ll see you in Dallas.”
“Yeah, I’ll call you. We’re not saying goodbye yet. I’ll see you in the city and I’ll take you to dinner soon.” He walked closer. “We don’t have to rush this divorce, Lara. I still want to be there when you have your baby. Mom will want to be there, too. She’ll help you with your baby if you’ll let her.”
“You know that’s wonderful for me. I’d like for both of you to be with me,” she said, surprised that was still what he wanted to do.
“I want to stay in your life when you have your baby.”
“Sure, Marc,” she said, doubting if he would continue to feel that way next spring.
“We’ll see each other and stay in touch,” he said.
She nodded. She couldn’t talk because she would start crying. “Bye, Marc,” she said. She couldn’t kiss him either. She merely turned and rushed for the limo, hurrying around to climb inside while Randall closed the door behind her. She didn’t look back as they drove away. She turned in the seat so Randall wouldn’t see her face and finally she let the tears come. Marc had let her go and her heart was breaking.
* * *
As the limo disappeared down the drive, Marc watched her go. She was unhappy and he wasn’t happy, either, but he figured a lot of his sorrow was caused by the loss of his grandfather. He hated to see Lara go out of his life, but they had planned this from the beginning. He’d always intended to let her go, so why—he pulled up short as he corrected his thought. He never even had her to let her go.
He told himself that, given time, he’d settle back into the life he had before this crazy marriage of convenience, but right now, he wasn’t happy. Lara had brought him joy and happiness. He hadn’t stopped to think about the changes she had made in his life. Truthfully, he didn’t want her to go, but there wasn’t a choice. She wouldn’t change and he didn’t want to change. From the beginning they had planned this split. That’s why she had been the perfect selection for his wife.
He walked back to his office, but he couldn’t work. When he looked out the window all he saw was Lara in his arms, smiling and gazing up at him. “Dammit,” he said aloud and stood impatiently. Maybe he just needed a few hours, a few days, and then he’d go back into his routine and go on with his life. He better, because she didn’t have room in her plans for him. Right now, he hated to admit that he hurt. It shocked him, but he expected the pain of separation to go away.
Nine
Lara tried to keep busy, seeing her doctor, making appointments to talk to a counselor at the university about a doctorate. She still thought it would be best to put off starting medical school until her baby was six months or a year old. She needed a nursery in her house and needed to decide if she wanted to stay in the house she was in now.
She missed Marc every day, but she missed him at night even more. Her nights were empty, lonely, and it was difficult to sleep without him by her side. She knew that wasn’t good for her or the baby.
She had another month to go on the courses she was currently enrolled in and then she would have papers to write. She wanted to keep so busy she didn’t think about Marc, but that hadn’t happened. She thought about him constantly.
After being in her life each day and night, he was suddenly gone out of it and she was having a difficult adjustment even though she was constantly busy. Even if he had asked her to give up her career, which he hadn’t, could she? Absolutely not, because it was too important to her. She might compromise, but she still wanted to help people. Besides, Marc didn’t love her enough to ask. He didn’t love her at all.
Soon he would be back, working at the office in Dallas. Would she see him when he was in town? She doubted it. They had gone their separate ways, yet her heart had gone with him. She had known from the first that she should guard her heart, but how could she guard her heart against a man who excited her more than anyone else ever had? Who was sexier than any other man? Who was more fun and considerate and a thousand other things that she loved about him?
She couldn’t. She hadn’t. She’d fallen for him, hard.
And the worst part was that she knew she’d love him the rest of her life.
* * *
Marc spent the next week working at the ranch, going to see his grandmother. Only one day did he drive into Dallas and go by the office, but he was too aware that Lara was in Dallas.
He missed her in his bed at night. He missed her other times, missed her company, but nights were hell now and there was no quick, easy way to forget her.
He tried to forget her, but that was absolutely impossible. When his mother asked about her, he didn’t tell his mother that Lara had moved back to Dallas and out of his life.
He hadn’t started proceedings for the divorce. He had a great reluctance to do that and kept putting it off without really thinking about what he was doing.
One day he drove to Downly to see his mother at the restaurant at about ten in the morning because it would be quiet at that time. She was in her office and smiled when he entered.
“I’m glad you came to see me. I’ve been thinking about you and about Grandma. How’s she doing?”
“She’s doing okay. her companion that I hired to stay with her said she’s handling losing Grandpa quite well. I helped her go through his things and we got that all sorted out.”
Pilar wiped her eyes. “I miss him, but he wasn’t going to get well. He was so happy that you married. He told me.”
Marc felt a streak of guilt that Lara had already gone out of his life. “It made me happy, too, Mom. Lara liked him and he liked her. She told me she thought he was adorable, and I’m quoting her,” he said, and his mother laughed.
“Adorable? Grandpa?” She laughed again. “I never thought of him that way. When he was young, he was always a force to be reckoned with. You’re very much like him.”
“Don’t tell me that. I hope to heaven I never tell a grandson that he has to marry in a month.”
She smiled. “He knew what he was doing. It worked out, didn’t it? She’s sweet and friendly, and you’re happy and she seems happy. Actually, Marc, you’ve seemed much happier since your wedding. I think marriage is very good for you. Maybe it’s being on the ranch, too.”
“Lara told me that. She said I was happier than when I worked in town. I hadn’t really thought about it,” he said, thinking again that perhaps having Lara in his bed at night had been the real reason for his lightheartedness.
His mother grasped his hand. “You picked well, Marc. She’s a wonderful young woman. Before you married, you told me that this was a marriage of convenience and she understood that. I hope you and Lara are not separating. I am so happy you’re married and you’ll be a father to her baby just as your dad was a father to you.”
Marc felt another stab of guilt and wondered how he would ever break the news to his mother that he and Lara were divorcing now.
“Actually, Mom, Lara is very much like you. She’s driven to go to medical school, if she’s accepted, and become a doctor. If she doesn’t get in medical school, she’ll get a doctorate in chemistry. She wants to work in medical research because of losing her mother at such a young age. She feels that’s a tribute to her Mom and it will help others. That’s what drives her, just like you were driven to get this restaurant going.”
“Marc, I had to do that because I had a baby and we needed to eat and have a roof over our heads. Your dad worked hard, but his health wasn’t good.”
“I know, Mom, but you went way beyond what you had to do. I used to want you at everything I did, my ball games, my programs at school, and I felt neglected when you missed something.”
“Oh, Marc.”
“I realize now that you came to most everything. You didn’t miss the important events. And now I can understand why you worked like you did. Actually, Lara says I work hard. If I do, I got it from you. You were there for me always when it really mattered.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t have been there one hundred percent of the time. I did the best I could.”
“Which was wonderful.” He smiled at her. “You still work hard.”
“Now it’s different, Marc. It keeps me busy. I still miss your dad and I need to keep busy.”
“Lara is the same way you are. Her work is going to be her life, but then, my work is my life.”
“Well, she has a noble goal—helping others, trying to find a medical cure and doing it for her mother. For so many reasons, I’m glad you married her. Her life will be good and so will yours. And so will mine with a grandchild.” She squeezed his hand. “Marc, I can’t wait. Grandpa was so happy about your marriage. You did the right thing.”
Guilt swamped him. Even more, pain overtook him. The pain from realizing that he’d let Lara walk out of his life. For a moment it crossed his mind that he would be better off if he could get her back into it.
He thought about what his mother had said. Maybe she was right and he was looking at Lara’s dedication to her career in the wrong way. He’d never thought about her noble motives. Till now.
He looked up at his mother. “You’re a wonderful mom and I love you. And right now I better move along.”
“Tell Lara hello.”
“Sure, Mom. You take care of yourself,” he said, kissing her cheek. He wasn’t going to tell her yet about the divorce. He was in no hurry to get it and evidently Lara wasn’t, either.
When he got into his car, he sat staring into the distance and seeing only Lara, remembering waking with her in his arms. How long would it take to forget her? Maybe a lifetime was the first answer that popped into mind. He grimaced and then realized he was still sitting in his car in front of his mother’s restaurant. He started the car and drove away. It was a wonder she hadn’t come out to see why he was still there.
Too many times during the day he was lost in thought about Lara. In her quiet way, she had wiggled into his life, and memories of her were everywhere at the ranch. He thought about spending the next week in Dallas at the office because it would get his mind off her. She didn’t work there anymore. Whatever memories he had of her there were good memories of her as his secretary, quiet, in the background and not in his arms or in his bed. Maybe if he worked in the office, he could shake Lara the woman out of his thoughts.
He drove to the office and spent the day trying to catch up and get back into things there. To his dismay, too many times during the day he would realize he had stopped working and was lost in thought about Lara. Twice he got out his phone and looked at her number, wanting to call her and hear her voice.
Why was he missing her more instead of less, the longer she was gone?
He stood and went to the window to gaze out over the city of Dallas. She was out there somewhere, going to class or going to the doctor or at home studying. He pulled up his phone again and stared at it. What would it hurt to ask her to dinner? That was a simple thing. He was in town and he could catch up on what she was doing and how she was. What was the harm in sharing dinner?
He called her but she didn’t answer. Was she out on a date? That thought made him unhappy and he knew that was ridiculous. He was going to divorce her. Of course she would go out with other men. But he didn’t like that idea, no matter how he rationalized it.
Finding no peace at the office, he drove home to his Dallas mansion. But he didn’t want to stay in a big empty house. Since when was he unhappy in his own home?
It was a chilly fall night with dark coming earlier now. He left and went to a drive-in and got a burger, taking a bite and then losing his appetite.
He couldn’t stop thinking about her, but he had to. Either that or get her back into his life.
Could he live with her career if she was a doctor? Could he live with her work ethic? If it meant getting her back into his life, he could. He had made big mistakes, but that could change. For better or for worse, he was in love with his wife and he was wrong to try to get her to give up her career goals. She had unselfish, wonderful reasons for wanting the training she was trying to get. Far more lofty reasons for her hard work than he had.
He thought about himself and his own career. Was he happier at the ranch, as Lara said? He liked the competition and making deals in the corporate world, but was it worth it if he was uptight and not as happy?
With his inheritance and the money and business he already had, he could get someone to run the office while he settled on the ranch and had a very good life. A good life if Lara was in it.
Why had he let her go? Why hadn’t he realized he loved her?
The cattle ranch was a success, plus there was oil on his land. Could he rethink everything he thought he’d believed so he could have the woman he loved?
And he was in love. No doubt about it.
He groaned out loud and thought there was an old man in heaven chuckling about getting his grandson married off and settled on the ranch.
Now it was up to him. What was he going to do to win her back?
* * *
Marc stopped in Downly to see his mother. As he left the restaurant a pickup passed, stopped and backed up. Gabe Callahan got out of his truck and came striding toward him.
“Hey, buddy. What goes? You look like a man on a mission,” Marc said, noting his friend’s tight look and hooded eyes.
“I just saw you so I thought I’d stop. I ought to slug you.”
“What the hell have I done? This sounds serious.”
“When Meg is bothered about something, everyone is bothered about something.”
“What are you talking about?”
“She told me that you and Lara have separated.”
“I don’t see that that’s really much of your business.”
“It’s not, except it makes me angry. Lara’s pregnant with your baby and you’ve left her.” Gabe looked away and clenched his fists. “You know who that reminds me of, don’t you?”
For the first time, Marc realized everyone would think exactly like Gabe—that he had left Lara when she was carrying his baby. And he wasn’t going to deny it because of the promises he’d made to her.
“Don’t even say it,” Marc replied. “I know Lara didn’t send you over here to get us back together.”
“She didn’t send me over here at all. I just wanted to tell you that I think that’s rotten. And I’m going now. I’ve said what I wanted to say.” He turned on his heel, but Marc stopped him.
“I know you mean well. And I intend to get us back together. I might have to do a little groveling.”
“I should hope you would,” Gabe said. “Look, I know I poked my nose in your business.” He
took a deep breath. “Just don’t you dare be the damn dad I had.”
“Under the circumstances, I can’t get angry with you for that one. It was a mutual parting that we knew was coming, but I should have thought that one through.” Marc ran a hand through his hair, struck hard by so many conflicting emotions. He didn’t know how to navigate these waters, had never had to before. But in this moment he knew one thing he had to do.
He looked up at Gabe. “I want to tell you something. I’ve been over this with Lara to get her advice. She said to tell you. I wasn’t going to, but Lara said family is the most important thing of all. My mom was supposed to never tell anyone this and she didn’t—at least, not until after I married Lara and Mom found out Lara is pregnant.”
“What in the hell are you talking about?”
“My mom was fifteen when she went to work for your family and lived in the house. She had me when she was sixteen.”
“Yeah, the year my mother was pregnant with me. What—”
“Figure it out, Gabe.” He knew his friend would connect the dots. He gave him time to put it all together. Their same ages, how much they looked alike.
He saw the moment it dawned on Gabe.
“That bastard father of mine,” he spat out. “I’ll be damned. We’re half brothers.”
“As far as I’m concerned, Gabe, you can forget you ever learned the truth. You don’t need to claim me as kin. My dad was John Medina. He was a wonderful dad and the only dad I want to acknowledge. Frankly, I’d just as soon bury this bit of information. We’re grown men and we’re best friends. That’s good enough. But you have a right to know. Lara thought so.”
“I’ll think about it, and if I ever tell my family, I’ll let you know. I may not even tell Meg. If you can live without all the Callahans knowing, I think I may just leave it that way.”
“I’d be happy if you would. I don’t like having to claim any relationship with your father.”
“Yeah, I understand, and I appreciate you telling me. You’re not missing much in the family doings. If you feel you need a big family because Lara doesn’t have anyone, let me know and we’ll get you into the family circle.” He kicked his boot into the dust on the road. “Oh, hell. This is what I get for butting into your affairs. I’m going home.” Gabe started walking back to his truck, then he suddenly stopped and turned around. “Don’t ever be like him, Marc. You’re a better man than that.”