by Jade Jones
Picking up the framed portrait of me and Jude at Colby Park, I looked over the picture. Tears suddenly slipped from my eyes as I became emotional. If I am pregnant, I can’t have this damn baby, I told myself. I didn’t know the first thing about being a mother. Hell, I had only known mine for eight years of my life before she was killed.
“God, please…please don’t let this test come back positive,” I prayed. Fall semester was beginning in a month and I was not trying to juggle school and a baby. “Please don’t let me be pregnant,” I whispered.
The mattress creaked as I stood to my feet. Grabbing the pregnancy test off the bed, I slowly made my way into the master bathroom.
***
I tapped lightly on the door before slowly making my way into Jude’s hospital room.
He stopped flicking through channels long enough to look in my direction. “There’s my girl,” he smiled.
“You’re looking and sounding a lot better,” I noted.
“Feeling a lot better too,” he added.
I made my way over towards his bed and gave him a peck on the lips. “I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to see you before therapy.”
“You ain’t gotta apologize. I’m just happy you here, bay. How’re you feeling?” he asked.
I let out a sigh of frustration. “I’ve uh…it’s been a lot going on, Jude,” I admitted.
He sat up in the hospital bed and turned to face me. “How so? Talk to me, bay.”
“Well…” I paused. I couldn’t even find the words to say it. I didn’t even want to hear myself say it. Instead, I reached into my purse and pulled out the used pregnancy test. Without a word, I handed him the results.
“What’s this?” he whispered, taking it.
“I’ve taken two this morning,” I told him. “…They both came back positive…”
Jude looked up at me in astonishment. He opened his mouth and then closed it quickly as if he didn’t quite know what to say. “This…I’m going to be a dad,” he finally said. “Why are you looking and sounding so sad, bay? This is great news!” he beamed.
Tears filled my eyes and I swallowed the large lump that had formed in my throat. “Jude, we can’t afford to have any kids right now…”
“What?” he asked. “What do you mean?”
The next thing I pulled out of my purse was the letter from the IRS. “I’m sorry I went through your mail,” I said before handing him the piece of paper.
Jude silently took the letter from me and quickly looked it over. “What the fuck?!” he yelled in anger.
A few passing nurses looked into the room but thought better to mind their own business.
“They froze my fuckin’ accounts?!” Jude tossed the letter and it fell onto the tiled floor. “Come the fuck on, man! This ain’t happening!”
“Just try to relax,” I said in a soothing tone.
“Relax?” he looked at me in shock. “What the hell you mean relax? I’m flat ass broke! I’m finna go to jail! You’re fuckin’ pregnant. How is the mortgage going to get paid? How are the bills going to be paid?!”
“I’ve been working,” I finally admitted.
He paused. “What do you mean you’ve been working?”
“I’ve been dancing—”
“You’ve been stripping while carrying my damn baby?!” he lashed out.
“I just found out this morning, Jude,” I answered defensively. “Relax. It’s not like I’m showing anyway. And besides,” I added. “I haven’t put much thought into keeping the baby…”
If Jude would’ve whipped his head in my direction any harder, he might’ve snapped his neck. “What the hell did you just say?” he asked in a low tone. “You’re thinking about getting an abortion? Are you crazy, Cameron? You’re not killing my fucking baby.”
“Well, you sure didn’t hesitate to have Ericka’s baby aborted.” The minute it slipped from my lips, I instantly regretted saying it.
There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of us before Jude spoke again.
“Wow, Cameron.” He shook his head. “You don’t cease to amaze me lately,” he said. “I done told you that I wasn’t ready then—”
“And what makes you think you’re ready now?” I asked. “I mean, you said it best. We’re broke and you’re supposedly on your way to jail. You expect me to be a fuckin’ single mom?”
“I damn sure don’t expect you to be up on stage shakin’ your ass while carrying my child!”
I couldn’t even talk to Jude anymore. There was too much going on already and right now I just wanted to get away from him. I quickly stood up and headed towards the door.
“I’m not having this damn baby, Jude,” I said before leaving the room.
***
“Hey girl!” Tiffany beamed the minute I entered the house. It was like she hadn’t even suffered a major breakdown only hours ago.
“Wow. Someone’s rather chipper,” I said sarcastically.
She laughed. “A little. Well anyway, I’ve been thinking. We work hard right?”
I plopped down into a bar stool at the breakfast counter. “True.”
“Why don’t we say fuck The Shakedown tonight and go kick it in the Flatts? We ain’t been down there since our freshman year. Remember those days,” she smiled.
I would have to get used to seeing that missing tooth in the center of her mouth. “Yeah, I remember those days,” I answered.
“Remember the time when you got so hammered off those Long Island Ice tea’s that you threw up on the dance floor,” she laughed.
“Oh, come on, Tiffany. Don’t remind me.” I was growing nauseated just thinking about it.
“You think that sexy ass Chinese security guard still works down at Earth Night Club?” she asked. “Remember I used to have the biggest crush on him!”
I laughed and shook my head. “Girl, I don’t know.”
“So what’s up? You tryin’ to kick it tonight or what? You been so stressed out about this and that. At least take a night to enjoy yourself, you feel me? I mean, for God’s sake, girl, you’re only nineteen. And you haven’t said a word about what you’re planning for your birthday.”
I instantly clapped my palm against my forehead. “Shit, I forgot. My birthday is in a couple weeks!”
“See!” Tiffany wagged her finger at me. “You’re doing too much, Cameron. It’s time to relieve some of that stress and enjoy yourself,” she said. “Starting tonight. We’re club hoppin’ down in the Flatts today!” she said excitedly.
Tiffany was so determined to kick it that I didn’t have the heart to turn her down even though I wasn’t really on it. Right about now, I wanted nothing more than to curl up in my bed and cry. I didn’t plan on telling her about the pregnancy. I still had a hard enough time grasping it myself.
Chapter 16
French Montana’s “Pop That” was bumping through the speakers inside of Earth Night Club. Downtown Cleveland was popping on this particular Saturday night. The clubbed was so packed that we barely could make our way to the center of the dance floor through the massive crowd of people.
Tiffany was hyped as hell tonight. She hadn’t had a drink yet and she was behaving like she had drunk four Red Bulls. When we made it to the center of the dance floor, she immediately went ham.
She wore a short black dress that had a split down the center, revealing what little cleavage she had to showcase. Although the dress barely stopped an inch above her ass cheeks, that didn’t stop her from bending over and popping her ass all buck and wild on the dance floor.
It was crazy how Tiffany had managed to transform so quickly. The once shy and timid goody goody girl was indeed gone.
“What’s up sexy? You trying to dance?” A ball head guy made his way behind me anticipating a little ‘twerk-action’.
“Nah, I’m good,” I told him. Hell, I got paid to dance on niggas. Why the hell would I want to dance for free? I wasn’t trying to be stuck up. I was only keeping it real.
“Bit
ch,” he muttered before walking off.
“Whew! Cameron, girl! I am having too much, fun!” Tiffany yelled in excitement.
We were barely on the dance floor for five minutes and she was already pouring with sweat.
“Oh my God!” she suddenly proclaimed. “Look over at the bar! Look! It’s your boo!”
I quickly turned in the direction of the bar anticipating to see Jude, but instead I saw Marcus standing with a couple of his homies looking right in our direction!
I rolled my eyes and looked back at Tiffany. “Girl, that is not my fucking boo,” I told her.
“Say what you want, Cam, but he already put his foot in the door when you let him take you out to get something to eat.”
“That’s all it was!” I argued.
She pursed her lips. “Try telling that to Jude—Ooh, girl! Look at him! Look at him! He’s looking right at you!”
Hesitantly, I looked over in Marcus’ direction.
“Look at the way he’s smiling,” Tiffany said. “It’s like he’s saying ‘Watch me work’! Girl, he’s finna turn your world upside down!”
“Pssh! Bye!” I waved her off before turning away from him.
“Oh my goodness! He’s coming over here right now!” Tiffany yelled excitedly. “I guess I’d better make myself scarce. I’ll be at the bar—”
“No, Tiff! Don’t leave…”
My sentence trailed off as Tiffany quickly left me stranded in the center of the club.
“Wow. You look nice,” A familiar voice whispered in my ear from behind. The hairs on the back of my neck instantly stood up.
I wore a BeBe red and gold armor dress and a pair of gold floral encrusted sandals. A gold bangle set the outfit off. I knew I was killing it tonight. I always made it my sole mission to step out dressed to impress.
“I know,” I said boldly without turning around to face him.
“I see you over here brushing niggas off,” he said. “Probably givin’ them the same ole tired ass ‘I got a man speech’,” he teased. “So what’s up? I know you gon’ let me dance with you.” His confidence was on full display tonight.
My gaze wandered over towards the bar where I saw Tiffany flirting with a guy in the wheelchair who frequented The Shakedown from time to time. Focusing my attention back to Marcus, I asked, “If I told everyone else no, what makes you think I’m gonna say yes to you?”
“I danced for you,” he laughed. “Hell, you owe me a dance for real.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at his response before finally turning around to face him. “I don’t owe you anything,” I said sarcastically.
He nodded his head. “You’re right. But it’d be nice if you returned the favor.”
I caught a generous whiff of his Clive Christian cologne. Marcus looked fly as hell in a V-neck Gucci t-shirt and a pair of crisp dark denim jeans. On his feet was a pair of Gucci Canvas high-top sneakers.
Kirko Bangz “Drank in my Cup” suddenly began playing throughout the club.
“Come on, Cameron. Dance with me. This is my shit,” he said, gently pulling me closer to him.
I looked over in Tiffany’s direction once more. She was now sitting in the lap of the guy in the wheelchair, smiling and flirting away while nursing a Blue MF.
I focused my attention back to Marcus. For a brief moment, I allowed all my problems to be pushed to the back of my mind. My brother. The bills. The pregnancy.
Marcus slipped his arms around my waist and we danced to the mellow beat of Kirko Bangz’s single.
Girl, I know how much you really want somebody…
We were both so in tune with each other that it felt like we were the only two people on the dance floor—Suddenly, a white flash snapped me from my profound thoughts! Obviously, I wasn’t the only one who noticed the strange light as Marcus looked around in puzzlement.
“The fuck was that?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I said looking around as well. “Looked like someone just took a picture though, didn’t it?” The club’s photography center was located in the back of the club so I knew the flash couldn’t have from that.
“Yeah. That was weird,” he said. “Maybe someone nearby was snapping photos.”
I then looked over in Tiffany’s direction—however she was no longer there. She and the guy in the wheelchair were both gone!
Don’t panic, I told myself. They could be anywhere. After all, there was a VIP room upstairs. Pulling my cell phone out of my clutch, I quickly dialed Tiffany’s number in order to see where she had gone. The last thing we needed was to be split up in this big ass club. However, to my dismay, there was no answer.
“You good?” Marcus asked noticing my uneasiness.
“I don’t see my girl at the bar,” I told him.
“It’s cool. Just chill. She’s probably around here somewhere. This is a big club. You want me to help you look for her?” he offered.
“I’d appreciate it,” I told him grateful for his assistance.
“I’ll go look outside real quick,” Marcus said. “You never know, she might have gone out for a smoke.”
“Alright, I’ll check the VIP.”
“Meet me back at the bar, alright?”
“Cool,” I agreed.
He made his way outside to look for Tiffany and I went upstairs in search of my girl. I didn’t find her in the VIP room or in the pool table area for that matter. I even checked the women’s restroom.
“Where the hell did this bitch go?” I asked myself.
Ten minutes later, Marcus met me at the bar as promised. “I didn’t see her outside,” he informed me.
“I didn’t even see the nigga in the wheelchair she was talking to,” I told him. “Hold on a second.” I pulled my cell phone out and called her twice. “No answer,” I said before disconnecting the call. “I know this trick did not just leave me here!”
Marcus rubbed my upper arm. “Chill, ma. I got you if you need a ride home,” he offered.
“Good. Because I’m ready to go now,” I answered in an irritated tone.
“Alright then. Let me go tell my niggas I’m finna bounce. I’ll be right back.”
With folded arms, I made my way to the exit. I couldn’t believe Tiffany’s ass had just up and bounced. When I made it outside, I didn’t see her car parked across the street, confirming that she truly had left.
“Wait until this bitch gets home,” I told myself.
I suddenly felt a hand softly touch the small of my back. “I was looking for you, baby girl. You ready?” Marcus asked.
I nodded my head and followed him to a black 2012 Chrysler 300. “Where’s your bike?” I asked after he hit the automatic door unlock button.
We climbed into the car at the same time. “At the crib. I rented this just to stunt in for tonight,” he laughed. “You like it?” he asked.
I shrugged. “It’s aight?” I answered sarcastically.
“Aye, at least I ain’t gotta worry about it breaking down on me,” he teased.
“Shut up,” I laughed.
Marcus turned the on CD player and Future’s “Turn on the Lights” played through the Beats Audio system.
He shifted the gears into drive and merged into traffic. During the silent drive home, I felt Marcus looking over at me from his seat a few times. Looking out the passenger window, I pretended that I didn’t notice his constant gazes.
Marcus suddenly turned the music down. “So…um…this is the second time I came through for you,” he said. “Where ole’ dude be at? ‘Cause I’m starting to think you ain’t really gotta man and you just givin’ me the runaround.”
I turned to face him. “I do have a man, Marcus,” I said defiantly.
He snorted. “Every time I wanna blow down, you always got a man,” he said. “I was patient with you to leave Silk’s ass but I don’t think I got much patience left. I’m finna steal your ass from this ‘so-called’ nigga you got.”
“I told you don’t get your hopes. I love my du
de.”
“I’m gonna make you love me,” he said.
I turned to face him and smiled. “You are so cocky. It’s not even funny.”
“I’m not cocky. I’m confident,” he corrected me. “And when I want something, I’m determined to get it. This is a real nigga right here.”
I sighed. “All men say that.”
“I ain’t all men,” he argued.
“They say that too,” I added.
He chuckled. “You and this ‘imaginary boyfriend’. And what’s up with ole girl?” he asked. “Leaving you at the club and shit? You be surrounding yourself with a lot of people that ain’t shit.”
I sighed dejectedly. “Tell me about it.”
Fifteen minutes later, Marcus pulled in front of my condo. He shifted the gears into Park and sat there as if expecting something.
“Thank you,” I quickly said before opening the passenger door.
“Hol’ up real quick. What’s up?” he asked. “Are you gonna let me take you out again since that busta ruined our night?”
I hesitated. “I…um—”
“Oh yeah…that’s right…yo’ nigga. I forgot,” he said in a mocking tone. “I guess I’ll see you around then. Tell that nigga watch his back too,” he laughed.
I climbed out the car. “I’ll tell him,” I said before closing the door.
***
An hour after I made it into the house, Tiffany came strutting through the front door as though she had done nothing wrong.
I immediately went in on her ass. “Where the hell have you been? And why the fuck did you leave me at the club?!”
Tiffany tossed her purse on the end table in the foyer and smiled. “Relax, Cameron. Damn, I knew you were in good hands,” she said knowingly. “Shit, I saw your ass on the dance floor practically giving Marcus a lap dance standing up,” she laughed.
I, however, didn’t see a damn thing funny. “You didn’t answer my question,” I said. “Where the hell did you go?”
“I followed the nigga in the wheelchair to the Marriott down at Key Center.” Tiffany burst out laughing. “Girl, I fucked the shit out of that paraplegic ass nigga!” she bragged. “And it was good as fuck…well for me it was,” she boasted. “Too bad his ass couldn’t feel shit. Anyway, he paid me two stacks, girl! Easy money, just like that!” she snapped her fingers. “Hell, the dick was so good, I should’ve been paying him!” she laughed.