by Wayward Ink
Since “the incident”, Robert hadn’t dated, pursued, or allowed anyone to come near him, much less have sex with him. There was no way he’d let anyone get close to him after Frank had been responsible for Robert’s ordeal. It had all started when Robert found out he wasn’t Frank’s only boyfriend.
This, of course, didn’t account for the number of submissives Frank had had under his boot—Robert and Frank had an understanding about them. No, Frank had cheated on Robert with at least four others, and Robert had confronted Frank about it publicly. This, of course, provoked Frank into retaliating and had almost cost Robert his life.
Daniel reminded Robert of Frank. Sure, Daniel was much better looking and perhaps a bit younger—Robert guessed Daniel was maybe in his late twenties—but it was Daniel’s confident demeanor that troubled Robert more than anything. That cocky confidence a lot of macho alpha males projected. Frank had had it in spades. Robert shivered. He didn’t want anything to do with that kind of guy ever again, except he couldn’t help but still be extremely attracted to the type. This made him angry.
“Robert! You’re up.”
Robert took center stage. The song started, and he immersed himself in the melody. He smiled. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted someone wearing all white. He turned his head, and his voice hitched when he saw Daniel walk into the bar with his uncle.
The rest of the song was a blur. Robert didn’t even care if he’d done well this time. He walked to his seat, which Thomas had taken. Daniel stood beside Thomas and to avoid having to stand next to him, Robert crowded in between the two stools on the other side.
Thomas twisted to look at Robert. His lips were curled into a satisfied smile. “You sang beautifully, as always. Too bad we didn’t hear the whole thing. When are you up next?”
Robert looked directly into Thomas’ eyes, refusing to acknowledge Daniel. “In half an hour maybe. I’m not sure I’ll stay that long. I’m tired.”
“I’m sure you can spare time for another song. It’s your uncle’s birthday, after all. He wants to hear you sing.”
Daniel’s husky baritone was tinged with authority and heat flooded Robert’s cheeks. His throat and shoulder muscles tightened involuntarily. He glanced at Daniel before returning his attention to his uncle. “Don’t you have better things to do than hear me croak out a song?”
Thomas raised an eyebrow. Daniel shook his head.
Robert huffed. “Like, I don’t know… boyfriend things?”
Robert was surprised when Thomas laughed. “Daniel and I aren’t together. He’s too pretty. I like them hairier and huskier, like your uncle Bob.”
Could have fooled me. That kiss was something else.
Robert frowned, not knowing exactly what to say.
Thomas laughed again. “The kiss was a birthday gift. As was the open-session scene we played out on the third floor after you left. It was fun. Daniel and I dabble, but he has a different type, normally.”
I can hazard a guess what his type is. Probably looks a lot like me. Not. Going. To. Happen.
Robert shook his head.
Thomas noticed, because he grinned. “Daniel is here because I wanted to introduce him to you. He’s moving to Ottawa permanently. I thought you could show him around.”
Robert tilted his head, closed one eye halfway, and scrunched his lips. “Uncle Tom, you promised not to play matchmaker again.”
It didn’t work out so well the last time you tried.
Thomas mimicked Robert’s expression and sighed. “All right, you got me. Daniel isn’t just a Dom. He’s a therapist who specializes in trauma. He’s the one I tried to get you to see early on. He helped indirectly by giving me advice. He helped at the trials. I think he’d be good for you.”
Daniel coughed. Both Thomas and Robert turned their gazes to him. Daniel looked into Robert’s eyes. Robert cast his gaze downward.
Why do I keep doing this?
He forced himself to stare into Daniel’s blue eyes. He was determined not to seem like a pushover.
Daniel smiled. “I’m not a therapist anymore—not by profession. I went back to school and became a lawyer. I work as a civil rights attorney. I’ve been offered a position in a firm here in Ottawa.”
A therapist and then a lawyer? How old are you?
The question shot through Robert’s mind and through his mouth.
Daniel laughed. “I’m twenty-seven. I started my career early. I guess I’m smarter than I appear.”
Obviously.
“The truth is, I did know what you looked like. I’ve seen your image often. I’m sorry I didn’t clue in fast enough earlier. No one expected you to show up at DP today. I’m glad you did. It shows you’re stronger than people give you credit for, Robert.” Daniel softened his tone. “In addition, I’m not going to lie. I’m attracted to you and I want to get to know you. I also want to help you find yourself again. You’re still lost, whether you admit it or not.”
Robert didn’t know how to react. He’d reconciled himself to the idea that, after what Frank had done, he’d be alone. He didn’t want to get hurt again, but he also figured no one would want someone who’d been, quite literally, thrown out with the trash. Apparently, someone on this planet was into recycling, or at least reusing discarded hearts, and yet, Robert knew he couldn’t take being tossed by a good-looking alpha male again.
He lowered his gaze as an angry heat rose in his throat. His chest was heavy. He didn’t want to erupt, not here. He glanced at his uncle, who was staring at him intently, trying to judge his reaction. Robert shook his head.
He turned and remained silent. He wanted to leave, to run out of the bar, but he didn’t. There was already one bar he couldn’t be happy in. No one was going to force him out of another, not even himself.
After a few minutes, he risked a glance at his uncle. The stool Tom had sat on was empty. Daniel was also gone. Robert relaxed. Although he felt a little guilty about using the silent treatment on his uncle, honestly, his muscles instantly relaxed now Daniel was gone.
Robert decided he’d have to make it up to Thomas later, and he wasn’t going to worry anymore about it tonight. He sat on his stool, sipped his drink, and waited for his name to be called. He wanted to sing one more song and then leave. He had appointments in the morning.
When Andy called Robert’s name, he headed to the stage. Right at the front, Thomas and Daniel were chatting away. Robert’s shoulder muscles tensed.
Damn it. What are they still doing here?
Robert stepped onto the stage and turned to the monitor. The song he expected wasn’t displayed. It was one he hadn’t sung in two years. A song he’d vowed never to sing again. It was one of Frank’s favorite songs, and one of his mother’s. It was about unrequited love.
Jesus. What are those two trying to do to me?
Robert grimaced as he heard Andy on the mic. “This next song goes out to, by request, Peter’s very own Thomas MacNeil. Happy thirtieth!”
Well, shit.
As the music started, Robert looked to his uncle, whose face was lit up in a massive grin. Daniel was smiling, too, but his was more subdued. Robert began to sing. The song was a lament, demonstrating the singer’s acceptance that his true love could never truly love him back. Usually, Daniel had sung the song with hope in his heart. Hope the lovers could reconcile. Hope that love would win out. This time, he stretched the notes, his tone screaming hurt, fear, and incredible loss. There was no hope, only acceptance.
Robert’s eyes filled with tears as he sang. He maintained control of his voice, but nothing else. At one point, in the middle of the song, he walked to the front of the stage and sat on the edge. At the end of the song, he sustained the last note and bowed his head. There was silence. Suddenly, people erupted in cheers and applause.
Robert didn’t look up. He felt a hand on his shoulder and heard a soft voice. It was Andy. “Are you okay? You were amazing. I think that was the best I’ve heard you sing it. When Thomas asked for this
song, I was worried that you might have forgotten the melody. It’s been a while since you’ve sung it.”
“I’m fine.”
Robert took his time getting to his feet. People were still clapping and whooping out bravos and congratulations. Robert walked past Thomas’ table without acknowledging him. He didn’t want to see his uncle’s reaction or Daniel’s smug smile. He headed straight for his drink, downed it, and strode to the exit. He was escaping for the second time today, but this time he didn’t stagger. He wasn’t afraid.
Chapter Three
ROBERT JUMPED THE steps leading up to the street. He marched to it, turning left toward his apartment.
“Robert Alexander Hamilton Jr., stop right there.”
How the hell does Daniel know my full name?
Robert turned. Daniel stood, feet apart, his arms crossed over his chest. His voice was laced with authority, as though he was accustomed to being listened to.
Robert practically stomped his own feet apart. He clenched his fists. His heart started to beat faster. “I’m going to have to discuss privacy with my uncle. For a stranger, you know far too much about me.”
Daniel simply cocked his head. “Get back inside, Robbie. You hurt your uncle’s feelings.”
I hurt his feelings? What about my feelings?
Robert would not feel guilty. “I am not one of your submissives who will lap at your feet and pant at you because you push them around!”
Daniel’s mouth dropped open. He slowly walked toward Robert. When he was within ten feet, he stopped. “You really need to educate yourself. Although some people enjoy that kind of kink, it’s not for everybody. Besides, I’m not strictly a Dom.”
Really? Could have fooled me.
Robert rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Of course you are. Look at you! You scream Dominant! I’m surprised you don’t carry a whip around with you.”
Daniel smirked and shook his head. “I’ll give you some leeway because of the trauma you’ve experienced, but it’s obviously clouding your judgment. Do you not remember what I called you this afternoon? What do you think it means?”
A young little switch. I remember. I remember that smug smile, too.
Robert shrugged his shoulders. “Someone who isn’t a good submissive?”
Daniel laughed. “That’s Frank talking. A switch is someone who can be both dominant and submissive, usually in separate scenes, but not always.”
Seriously?
This time, Robert was the one who laughed. His voice was harsh yet uncertain. “Are you telling me that you’re a switch?”
Daniel smiled. He moved his legs closer together, hunched his shoulders slightly, and bowed his head. When he glanced at Robert, he seemed timid, much less certain than he had just moments ago. Daniel closed the gap between them. “We switches are usually very good at being dominant and submissive, because we understand and live both sides.”
Jesus. You look so different. Nicer.
Robert pursed his lips. The Daniel standing near him was a different person. Less assertive, less aggressive, more pliable, and more willing to please. Robert felt he would be safe with this Daniel. The trouble was, he wouldn’t know when the dominant side of Daniel would surface. He was afraid of that side.
Daniel tilted his head. His voice was soft. “I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while. I’d intended to do it as a submissive and not a Dominant, because I knew you’d be uncomfortable with it. Today was for Thomas. We never expected you to show up. Although, maybe we should have. I know your uncle is proud of you.” Daniel raised a hand. “Can I touch your face, please?”
Robert nodded.
Daniel cupped his face gently. “He told me he wanted you to sing one of his favorite songs. He truly didn’t think you’d react the way you did. Please don’t hate him.”
“I don’t hate him, Daniel, but maybe he should have known. It was one of my mom’s favorite songs. I sang it to her to make her feel better while she was sick. It was my way of trying to control her pain.”
The song has much more meaning now, though, because of Frank.
Daniel released Robert’s face, backed up, and tilted his head down and to the side. He looked sad. “I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot. I know your uncle wants to apologize. Please come back in?”
Well, shit.
Robert rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “Go back inside, Daniel. Tell Thomas I’m sorry. I need to go home.” Robert turned to leave, but Daniel grabbed his arm.
“Please don’t go, Robert. Please. I need to tell you something. Being a switch can sometimes mean someone who’s conflicted or scared about what they’re doing. Like you. You were hurt. You have every right to be either or both of those things.”
Robert wanted to disagree, to argue, but he knew Daniel was right. It didn’t mean that Robert was a submissive, a Dominant, or a switch—not in a BDSM sense, anyway; although, Daniel hadn’t stipulated that.
Robert breathed in to keep himself calm. “I’m not into that scene, Daniel. I never really was. Frank wanted me to be. All I wanted was to be loved, to be myself. He wanted me to be something I wasn’t. I won’t be forced into that again.”
Daniel cupped Robert’s face once more. “It’s not just about the scene, sir. It’s about taking and giving up control. In real life as well as in play. I can’t help but feel that you have trouble with both. Let me help you. Please?”
His hands feel so good.
Robert scrunched up his face in frustration. He hated being vulnerable, but he didn’t like taking control either—not in an aggressive way.
Daniel laughed. “Can I please take you out on a date? Say… dinner?” He stepped back and his posture changed. He looked taller, more assertive. Even his voice was rougher, as it had been earlier that afternoon. “My treat. The only thing I ask is that we do things my way. Nothing kinky. No sex expected. I think you need lessons in giving up control before you can finally allow yourself to take it. We’ll talk about boundaries before we set out. I just want to show you what it could feel like to be led in the right way. It’s part of my birthday present to your uncle.”
Way to turn up the guilt.
Robert’s lip quivered. He had a few questions, and he was unsure how Daniel would take it. “What does this have to do with Uncle Tom? Why do you even care? Why would you do this?”
Daniel smacked his lips and puckered them into a slight smile. “That’s a lot of questions.” He shifted his weight from one leg to the other. He seemed more relaxed. “Thomas feels guilty about what happened to you. I know because he’s told me so many times over the last two years. He was the one who introduced you to Frank.”
“I’ve never blamed my uncle for that.” He wanted to say more, but Daniel raised a hand.
“I care because I got to know you by way of the court documents and video evidence your lawyer supplied. I’d do this because your uncle wants you to be happy again and, frankly, so do I. Many people do, Robbie. I think one of those people should be you. You deserve to be happy again, to not feel the shame, the fear, or the doubt that I suspect you do. I think you deserve happiness, and you should think that, too.”
Robert squeezed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes to think. A few seconds later, he opened them. Daniel was no longer in front of him. Robert felt pressure on his back.
That hand feels so good there. Too good.
Daniel’s breath brushed Robert’s ear. “Let’s go back into the bar. At the very least, say goodbye to your uncle properly. It is still his birthday, after all.”
Damn. Guilt trip again.
Robert sighed and agreed. He let Daniel guide him back inside, straight to Thomas, who had returned to the bar. Daniel called out to Thomas, and when Thomas turned, Robert could see redness around his eyes. He felt tears of his own form and his breathing hitched. He needed to make it up to his uncle somehow.
As Robert reached him, Thomas stood, reached out, and hugged his nephew. Robert felt Thomas’ should
ers quiver, and he wiped away a tear that rolled down his uncle’s face.
“I’m sorry I made you sing that stupid song. I just loved you singing it. I should have known how badly it would affect you. You’ve been through so much.”
You have, too, Uncle Tom. Sometimes I forget that.
Robert managed to release himself from his uncle’s grip. In doing so, he leaned into Daniel’s hand, which was still pressed against Robert’s back. Without really wanting to, Robert sighed and wished the hand might stay there, or perhaps start to roam. It felt safe. It was a comfort.
“Uncle Tom, I’m so sorry for walking out on you. I was just overwhelmed. I want to make it up to you. Let’s call it an additional present. I think I know, but tell me what you want. Please?”
“I want you to be happy. In order for that to happen, I think you need to see someone who can help you. We’ll find a therapist you can trust.”
This isn’t what I expected.
Robert’s uncle glanced behind him. “It’s a crying shame someone isn’t a therapist anymore. Maybe he just needs a little more convincing?”
Fat chance of that. He’s far too sure of himself. At least, part of him seems to be.
Robert heard Daniel chuckle. “I’m afraid being Robert’s therapist might be considered a conflict of interest. If he takes me up on my offer, that is.”
Before Robert had a chance to comment, he was twisted around. He found himself almost nose to nose with Daniel.
Holy crap. He’s beautiful. Even his breath smells good. I’m in so much trouble.
Robert started to sputter. Daniel smiled and Robert stopped, causing Daniel to chuckle. Robert pursed his lips and breathed in. “I guess your present could be you as my therapist instead.”
Please say you’ll be my therapist. It’s the least frightening of the options.
Daniel tilted his head and winked at Robert. “Going to a therapist would be your present to your uncle. You going on a date with me would be mine.”