“As you wish, Jason.” It didn’t take long to realize when the shadow had left, but I still couldn’t believe what was happening.
“I’m a friggin' ghost. Holy shit…Alyssa was right.” Looking back down to her, my first reaction was to pull her close and carry her back to bed, soothe away her hurt and wipe away her tears, but there was no way for me to do that. Not this time.
The sorrow that poured off her could drown a city, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. Anger clashed with guilt as I watched her curl tighter into herself.
I won’t let those bastards get away with what they had done to her, to me. I had more than a lifetime to spare and tracking down each one of those scumbags would be more then just a mission, no more like my pleasure. There was no way I would let anyone of them live to breath the same air as Alyssa. And tonight I would prove that being a ghost had its perks too.
Now if I could just get a handle on the basics.
Chapter 3
“Shit!” If it were possible to sweat, I’d swear I would be pouring buckets right now. For hours I tried to solidify my hand to grasp the hammer on the floor. Hell even a penny, but the closest I came was moving it a few inches across the floor.
Alyssa had been moving numbly from room to room, staring for long moments at all the pictures that littered the shelves. “Happy Birthday Jas...” She murmured, stroking the picture from our last vacation together.
No wonder why she couldn’t function. Hell I would’ve been twenty-seven today. She always loved to surprise me with little presents and her most naughty lingerie. Who was I to stop her? She looked friggin' amazing, dancing around in leather and lace. Not today though. She wore her grey yoga pants that she had obviously been in for a few days and stretched out tank top, her hair was tied back in a sloppy mess of a ponytail. Shaking my head, she didn’t resemble the beautiful woman she truly was.
She carried a sliver of pinkish-silver scar that curled around the line of her hair on her forehead, down her temple. That little reminder of what those bastards did to her was enough to light the fuel to my fire and make me focus on the mission at hand.
My heart sank as I watched her make a cup of tea, without any care of how much tealeaves she used or honey she poured. Her ordeal and my death had caused this. Once vivacious, she was reduced to a shell of a woman.
I had to find them, those who did this to her, find them and make them pay with every ounce of breath in their pathetic deviant bodies. I could feel all the rage fuel into balls in my hands as I lunged for the hammer once again. The hard feel of the wooden handle cupped in my fist didn’t register until I lifted it up off the floor and sent it skimming across the area rug. The soft thud barely rippled in the air as I glanced back to Alyssa, waiting to see if she heard it too.
The expressionless look in her haunted pale blue eyes barely lifted to notice as she set her cup of tea down on the side table and sank into my favorite recliner. Why hadn’t I noticed before how frail she looked, how pale and withdrawn she seemed.
I had to get her attention, somehow let her know that she wasn’t alone. I couldn’t miss the fact that she hugged my shirt, sniffing what little scent of mine had lingered on it. I had no more thought about being by her side, and then I was there. “How the hell?” looking back to where I was just standing, I was seriously hoping that this wasn’t just a freak accident. Thinking about where the doorway was, I seemed to flash there in a blink of an eye, then back next to Alyssa’s side. “Cool.” It didn’t take much to wonder if it would be possible to move objects with the same conviction.
I looked around for a moment until I found the perfect object to practice on. I envisioned it shaking at first before falling off the mantel. The tremor that quickly erupted before my mental command that carried out was subtle. The crash of the picture frame and shattering of glass snapped her head up, breaking Alyssa from her numbed out state.
At first she looked blankly at the broke frame, until she realized which one it was. Launching herself to the floor, the crunch of broken glass under her knees didn’t seem to faze her as much as the image that had been marred by the broken glass.
As much as it broke my heart to watch her stare into the image of a better time, when life waited for us to make our plans on that sandy beach in Aruba, I learned a lesson that when I was alive, I could never imagine happening.
Trying to physically move an object took an explosion of anger, while moving objects and myself came from my mind. Guess all my ideas of the living impaired are blown to pieces.
Marveling in my new talents, I didn’t notice when the soft vibrations of Alyssa phone buzzed on the coffee table. Slowly she pulled it to her ear, and answered with a shaky hello.
“Sure, Clare, I’ll be there within the hour. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. Just hang in there; I’ll be there soon sweetie,” That was always my Alyssa, willing to help out whenever she could, even at her own expense. I was so close I could smell her sweet nature perfume and yet I was a lifetime away from her kiss. “Yup, bye.”
She looked back down at the mess then at the picture in her hand. The longing and sorrow in her eyes misting over with fresh tears hit me like a wrecking ball to the nuts. I hated to see her like this, hated knowing that there wasn’t anything I could do to save her from all this.
All I could do was save her from the men that now watched her and silently threatened her life. The men that wanted to finish the job they had started three months earlier. Payback would be my sole mission from here on out. That I would promise Alyssa, protect her from whoever or whatever came her way.
But first, there was something I needed to see before my protection detail started. The sprays of the water sounded from the bathroom, as Alyssa shut the door closed. Odd, she never did that before. Shrugging it off, I followed in after her, not like she would notice me watching her as hot soap suds sluiced down her body. Not that she minded much when I was living. She’s always been a natural beauty, with long auburn hair and pale blue eyes, with curves that would make the Venus de Milo weep. I might be living impaired, but I’m not blind.
Chapter 4
The walk to the bakery didn’t prove eventful as passersby stalked off to whatever was so important to them. Alyssa, plastered on a smile that screamed painful, still she had always been polite to her customers. She opened Sex on a Stick Bakery a year ago and business had been good. So I wasn’t surprised to see the little café packed. She twirled around the kitchen serving up pastries and coffees effortlessly. Her black and pink apron was covered in fresh flour as she passed a young couple their box of cake balls.
The day seemed to fly by as I watched her from the window. I could’ve sworn she had looked right at me when the calm of customers had left her idle for a few minutes. Her beautiful eyes stared into mine, yet she didn’t see me. Couldn’t see me, but I felt her eyes staring right at me, as a small smirk that pulled at the corner of her lip almost gave me some hope that she knew I was there. As quickly as that hope came, it left when she turned away from our invisible connection to attend to her counters.
When the last of the customers left I sidled up to her, smelled the flour that covered her clothes, and the warmth that radiated from her skin. Slowly she walked around and cleaned the place from top to bottom.
I knew why she was stalling on returning home, she hated being alone, and it had always been her fear. Somehow she managed to find something else to do until the place was so spotless that you could eat off the floors.
“Alyssa, please…you need to get some rest,” I heard myself saying, as I brush my knuckles across the soft curve of her sallow cheek. “Please sweetheart, get some sleep. I’m with you, I’ll always be with you.”
“Jason…” her eyes snapped around the room looking for…me. Clutching her heart like it was breaking all over again. Cupping her cheek, the way she nuzzled into my palm and closed the dark rings of her eyes, made me want to jump out of my skin and kiss her senseless.
“I’m right beside you sweetheart, right here touching you. Can you hear me?” God I wanted her to hear me, to realize that I’m standing next to her.
The sadness that painted her face returned when she pulled away. “Crissake Jason, I need you. I can’t make it through this life without you.” Circling her arms around her waist, she looked seconds away from shattering.
Hot fresh tears pricked her eyes as she stormed back into the kitchen. The crashing sound of metal screamed through the air.
“Alyssa!” I ran back just in time to see her shaking, surrounded by pots and baking sheets scattered about the floor and the shelving unit toppled over. “Holy shit!” Was my only reaction, I hadn’t seen this side of her, a side where she snapped and came unglued. Sinking down next to her, with her head in her hands as sobs rocked her body I did the only thing I could think of. I held her. True she didn’t know I was, but I couldn’t be completely convinced otherwise. As my hand brushed over hers, it was a moment I swear would last me a lifetime. She looked right at me and smiled.
“Jason…” she whispered. “I love you.” It wasn’t my imagination. She was seeing me, feeling me touch her skin.
“I love you too, sweetheart.” I wanted to say more, but the words were stuck in my throat. Lame I know.
The recognition in her eyes as she blinked away another onslaught of tears stunned me like a taser. She tried to reach for me, but her hand caught only cool air.
Shaking her head, she shot up to her feet and angrily picked up the shelving and started to load it up with all the tumbled kitchenware. “Great, you’re going crazy. Nice. First you lose him, and now you lose your flipping mind.”
But she had seen me, she heard me, so why couldn’t she still see me? What had changed? I couldn’t bare this reality, one I couldn’t be with the one I love, doomed to roam the earth, waiting for her to die just to be with her again.
The pounding in my skull tripled the second she walked out of the door and locked up shop. Something felt off. My vision blurred as I stormed after her, what the hell was going on? Could ghosts have strokes?
She had made her way across the street and around the corner building when I realized who was following her. It was them. Slapping myself back into focus, I ran after them. If blood still coursed through my body it would’ve been boiling by now.
They were my prey and I their hunter and if it took me until Hell froze over, I will get the revenge that is deserved.
I didn’t have to think to hard about where they were before I just appeared there. The retched stench of booze scented the air as the one who pulled the trigger on me, now pointed his finger at the back of her head, motioning to do the same.
Flashes of that night came back like a battering ram slamming them into my head. My hands started to shake as I crashed down on the dumpster, sending the wheeled menace sailing down the alleyway towards them, clipping one the tall lanky male hard in the back. The howl of pain that erupted from his lips did little to distract me. I was far from done though. They couldn’t see me, but I couldn’t resist the urge to send broken bottles flying towards the two remaining males. It was time to have some fun.
Bottle after bottle, they crashed and shattered against their faces shattering into millions of brown and green pieces, sending them running for cover. As the last bottle flew, I turned to see dumpster guy finally got to his feet; I sent him the same gift and coupled it with a hub cap to sheer off the grimy Yankees hat right off his head.
Looking back down the city street, I couldn’t find her and my hope was that I saved her from what these three had planned, if only for tonight. But it wasn’t all bad news, as I felt a renewed sense of power sear through me, like electric energy renewed every synapsis throughout the ghostly form. Now if I could only get Alyssa to see me again, then I’ll admit that it was a decent day.
Chapter 5
Frustration rode me hard every time I tried to make her hear me or see me. But it was useless. At least while she was awake. I found her dreams to be a little more conducive to talk to her. Each night I curl up next to her as she drifts asleep and during the moment when your mind slips past waking into deep sleep, that’s where I come to her.
The first few times she broke down and cried, especially once I told her why I was here. Every night I met her in the same clearing we used to visit when we were camping in the White Mountains.
The soft amber flecks from the fire’s light glisten against her ivory skin as she curled into my arms to keep warm. We’d talk for hours, well more like what felt like hours since dreams have no definition of time as we plan out our life together. I lean down to inhale her sweet jasmine scent and realize every time that it was just a dream and I seem to have no sense of smell.
Every time I hold her close, it feels like the first time and that nervous twist in my gut seems to churn until she places her hand over mine and whispers my name. The lithe way she says it makes the aching in my um, manly parts start to twitch. I can’t even think about reality when we are here like this. If I couldn’t be with her in the flesh, then her dreams would have to do. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but it’s better then nothing.
I never thought of myself as an envious person, it seemed like such a wasted emotion, but now I would give anything to trade places with some poor sap for just an hour. Just to feel her body pressed against mine, as I stroke her cheek and kiss her gently. But it wasn’t to remain as each new dawn broke up our imperfect happiness.
It had been a few weeks since I last saw those males follow her home, and I had hoped that they wouldn’t return. Each day I stayed with her as she made her way to work, and watched her as she served fresh muffins and scones to her customers. Even covered in powered sugar and coffee stains, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.
Every day she got up and went about her daily routine numbly, far from the Alyssa I held and kissed each night. I tried to warn her of the dangers that lurked in the shadows, but she dismissed it once her beautiful pale blue eyes popped open in the morning, searching in vain for me. Going about her routine with the same rogue awareness, there was just no life in her eyes. Her smiles were heartbreaking, the way danced across her face and light up any room. But there weren’t any more smiles for the world to see. She combed through her long autumn hair, and tied in up in a sloppy bun and carelessly threw on a pair of her dark jeans a tee shirt with the Bakery’s logo in it.
My heart ached watching her doing this, missing the smell of cinnamon and sugar on her clothes at the end of the day, and flour in the sweet crevasse of her breasts from making her treats from scratch. There wasn’t a day since opening the bakery that Alyssa didn’t smile. Not until that day.
Shaking my head at what has become of her; I can’t help but feel the weight of regret all over again. She didn’t bother to make the bed or fuss in the mirror to put on make-up. She walked numbly down the hallway into the kitchen, careful to not look at the pictures hung on the walls and perched on the side table of better times.
The heaviness in the air thickened at she stared at the calendar on the fridge. Hot tears pricked her eyes as I followed her gaze to see what she was looking at. You know when they say “In moments of shock, everything seems to move in slow motion”, they weren’t kidding.
It had been four months to the day since that night. Four months since I palmed the small velvet box, with knots in my stomach as I paced the room trying out my proposal to my reflection in the hallway mirror. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
I followed behind her as she walked towards the hallway closet. Her hands shook as she reached for the doorknob. She looked like an angel as she lowered her head and inhaled deeply. Whatever she was afraid to see behind the door had caused pricks of tears to trickle down her cheeks. It felt like an eternity until she opened the door.
I couldn’t see anything out of ordinary as I peered over her shoulder. Slowly she crouched down; I could see the flush of her cheeks pink up as she held her breath. Pulling free a whi
te plastic bag, sudden realization hit me like a tons of bricks. “Damn you! Why did you leave me here like this? I miss you so much Jas…” tears streamed down her skin as she pulled free the blood soaked clothes I was last in. The dried-on brown stains of my blood covered nearly every inch of cloth. My stomach roiled as I gazed down at her curling into my shirt.
All I wanted to do was rip it free from her grasp and burn the damn thing. Wrap my arms around her and kiss away her tears until all her fears disappeared. Acid covered my throat thickly as I bit back a growl. Vengeance kicked my nuts with renewed vigor as I watched her clutch the last reminisce of me close to her chest.
She tried to stand, bringing my clothes up with her, only to stumble back into the closet on the way up. Thump! The soft bounce of a small black velvet box falling from my pants pocket echoed in the tiny room. Her watery gaze scoured to find the source of the sound, blinking back tears as she bent over, searching with her free hand.
“Oh shit, the ring!” My heart flipped and lightening shot through my veins like electric currents as I watched her expression turn from despair to shock.
Peeling back the lid, the sound her of gasp mimicked the pounding from her chest. My clothes littered the floor as her hand covered the perfect “O” of her lips. Staring at the glittering diamond even in low light, the radiant sparkle dazzled with a spectrum of a rainbow. Her favorite emerald cut with baguettes traipsing down the sides tucked in platinum gold.
It should’ve already graced her dainty fingers, but fate decided otherwise. I wrapped my fingers around her hand, and knelt down on one knee. I knew it wasn’t fair to ask her to love me forever, Hell it’s not like she knew I was there anyways. But I did just that.
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