by Skyla Madi
On my cuts.
The smirk falls from her face and her lips turn down in a subtle, sad pout. My ribs clench my lungs as she leans in and kisses every one of them.
Every.
Single.
One.
I look away. I tilt my head to the ceiling and count the small, beige squares in each panel. I can’t stand to watch her do it…to press her perfect, smooth lips against something so ugly. Each kiss lingers a little longer than the last, until she’s sliding her mouth to my hip. My abs tighten and I finally tilt my head, allowing myself to look at her. With calculated grace, she wraps her delicate fingers around my cock and kisses her way from the base to the tip.
She watches my face.
I watch her mouth.
Stunning. Flawless. Memorable.
She slips her tongue and licks the tip, a movement so quick and brief it makes my breath hitch. She smiles wickedly before sucking the whole head into her mouth. My toes curl and my quads threaten to cramp. Why didn’t I get her to suck me sooner? It’s almost cruel that I’ve gone this long without it.
I quiver, letting my head fall back against the door and I squeeze my eyes shut. Cassia teases me, stroking me with her hands and her mouth in a way I’ve never felt before. It’s tight, and wet, and full of…something. Emotion? Love? Whatever the fuck it is needs to be bottled and sold to men around the world.
My orgasm bubbles to the surface, doing its usual dance at the base of my shaft. I don’t want to come yet. It’s such a waste. Ah, well. At least I’ll make good on my seventeen seconds.
Groaning, I rake my fingers through her blonde hair, catching soft locks of it in my fist, and drop my head, locking eyes with the blonde beauty on her knees in front of me. I tug on her hair, pulling her mouth off of my dick, and I bend low, bringing my mouth an inch from hers.
“Can I fuck your face, baby?”
Her blue irises flare in delight and she nods her head.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Perfect.
I slam my mouth against hers and I fuck her tongue with mine, until she’s clawing at my neck and wriggling excitedly. I pull back and straighten my spine, leaving her gasping for air. I tighten my grip on her hair and move my hips, dragging the very tip of my cock across her lower lip. Pre-cum glistens in its wake, like it always does, and Cassia opens her mouth like a good, obedient female.
And I fuck it.
I fuck it hard and fast. It takes everything I have to keep my groans and grunts to a minimum. Cassia’s hands are on my thighs a she steadies herself, but she doesn’t stop me.
She swirls her tongue.
She moans, sending my sensitive flesh reeling in the sensation of it.
With enthusiasm, she takes me as deep and as fast as she can until I come.
Hard.
Her name mixes unintelligibly with curses and pleas to God. Tremors shake my legs as everything I have to give is swallowed by the love of my fucking life.
Like it should be.
When the shakes subside, my balls tighten painfully. I have nothing left to give her. She’s taken every last drop of me and I’ve willfully given it.
Smiling, Cassia plants a gentle kiss on the tip of my dick and pushes herself to her feet. She sighs as she bends for her bra and blouse and proceeds to put them on. I reach for my own pants and pull them back up my legs. I tie the strings and settle against the door, bending my leg at the knee as she fastens her bra. Say I can’t go to New York…am I supposed to just let her walk out of my life?
Cassia’s intrigued gaze meets mine and my heart flutters.
“What?”
I smile. It’s a no brainer. I can’t live without her.
I won’t.
“I’ll go to New York with you, Cass.”
Words cannot explain my level of happiness.
But if they could, I imagine it would go a little something like this: Caleb saying he’ll come to New York with me is like buying a shitty apartment and being given a mansion instead. It’s discovering a glittery unicorn in the majestic barn of that mansion that farts rainbows and poops gold, and tucked away in the corner is a bunch of naked little manservants with asses like David Beckham and lips like Tom Hardy. Happiness level? Delirious.
“You’re not lying to me?” I ask for the umpteenth time as I peer sideways at him.
Grinning, Caleb glances at me and then back to the road. “That’s something men do before the blowjob. Not after.”
Eeep! I squirm in my seat. We’re actually going to do it. We’re going to move away together—to New York City. I clasp my hands at my chest and turn in my seat. Caleb’s truck is big and beautiful. Inside is clean and spacious and there’s something super arousing about the way his gaze flicks to his mirrors every few minutes.
“You’re really going to do it? You’re going to come to New York?”
“I’ll come to New York, in New York, and just about any other state or country you part your delicious thighs for me.” He grins and then falters. “Except Canada. Fun is outlawed there.”
Snorting, I roll my eyes. Keeping his attention on the road, Caleb reaches out for my hand and pulls it into his lap.
“I convinced you to take a chance on me, Cass. It’s only fair that I take a chance on you too.”
“Thank you. It means a lot to me.”
I stroke his hand with my thumb as we pass a sign that tells us the hospital is just around the bend.
“So, what’s the plan?” He asks, flicking on his indicator. “How long do we have? And where are you staying in the meantime? There’s plenty of room for you in the pool house.”
Yeesh. Sleeping on the same block of land as Father Andrews? With his son of all people? That is definitely not going to go down well and I just know Dad will show up and try to drag me back home.
“I would, but I told Fiona I’d stay with her. She thinks she’ll be ready to leave for NYC in two and a half weeks.” I tell him. “You can use the time to gather your affairs and sort out notice with your boss.”
He nods and smiles, but I see the uncertainty in it.
Caleb pulls into the hospital’s parking lot and his car rolls to a stop.
He holds my hand tightly in his and pulls it to his mouth. “Are you sure you don’t need me to wait a little while? What if she’s not in there?”
My skin tingles as he plants soft kisses along the back of my hand. Chuckling under my breath, I stroke his thumb with mine. I don’t want to say goodbye. I want to get back into bed and cuddle until day slips into night.
“I’ll be okay. I have my phone so I can text you if I need you.”
Caleb groans and reluctantly releases my hand. “All right. I guess cleaning the house will keep me busy enough.”
“I love you.” I tell him, leaning in and planting a soft kiss on his mouth.
It feels weird saying those words to him. I mean, it feels right and perfect and all that other good stuff, but it’s just strange saying it to him, the guy I admired from a far for so long. He sat at the front of the church, his eyes downcast most of the time, in his formal clothes. He was mysterious, captivating, and completely oblivious to me and how breathless he made me.
Now we’re here.
In love.
How? How do two people go from being strangers to being epically in love? Before I met him, I was going to be the role model daughter. I was going to pray every day, work a boring job, get married, and move into a house across the street to my parents. Now, Caleb and I are shifting to New York to live a real life. Only there can I strip back these artificial layers and discover my true self.
Buzzzzzz.
I’m pulled from my thoughts by the sound of Caleb’s phone buzzing in the cup holder. I spaced out. I don’t even know if he said it back. Sighing, Caleb picks it up and looks at the screen.
“Dad.” He sighs, hitting the green button and pressing the phone against his ear. “Yeah?”
Caleb’s eyebrows smooth out before p
ulling in tightly. He flicks his tongue over his bottom lip and then rakes his teeth over it, seemingly concentrating on what his father has to say.
“Why? What’s wrong?”
I swallow, knowing the slightest thing could stop him from coming to New York with me. I say a silent prayer in my head and I bet God is laughing at it.
“Why can’t you tell me over the phone? I don’t want to see it for myself. Dad—fine. All right. I’m on my way.”
Exhaling, Caleb drops the phone back into the cup holder and rubs his face.
“What is it?” I suck in a breath and hold it.
“Dad has something important to show me and your father is on his way here too.”
Dread kicks me in the lungs, expelling my breath. Shit. “I don’t want to see him.”
“You need me to stay?”
I shake my head and grab my bag. “You deal with your father I’ll deal with mine.”
I’m sure I can get in and out of here without crossing paths with him.
Caleb pats my thigh with his large hand. “I’ll call you tonight. Maybe I can take you out for some ice-cream.”
Looking at him, I quirk my eyebrow. “You want to go out for ice-cream?
He shrugs his shoulders. “I’ve never been on a date before and I like ice-cream so that’s a good place to start.”
Cute. I never picked him to be the ice-cream type, more chocolate fondue and fresh strawberries kind of guy. I pull my black bag into my lap.
“We have to work our way up to milkshakes and hotdogs, huh?”
“Yep. I have to set my standards now so you don’t take advantage of it. FYI, I won’t eat a hotdog until the third date, at least.”
I laugh as I hit the button to my seatbelt. “Good to know.”
Caleb and I look at each other in sweet silence. Why does this have such a melancholy feel to it? We’ll see each other tonight. A few hours isn’t that long.
“New York will be great.” I say, cupping his face with my hand. “We can go ice skating in winter and find a nice ice-cream place to abuse in the summer.”
He smiles and my heart flutters. “I can’t wait.”
Caleb leans forward and kisses me. Air disperses in my lungs.
Gone.
Just like that.
* * * *
What am I supposed to say to Fiona?
Oh hey, you totally overdosed at Caleb’s party and my dad went loco so now I’m gonna come stay with you even though you’re obviously going through some shit of your own. P.s- I’m glad you’re alive.
I groan and shake my head as I round the corner and approach her room. This is it. The point of no return. I step inside the room and glance at the two beds closest to me. Two old men sleep peacefully, undisturbed by the erratic sound of zippers being closed down the other end of the room. I follow the noise, clenching the strap of my bag. The curtain around the end bed blows out and shakes as a barefooted Fiona shuffles around her bed. Why is she out of bed?
I grab the curtain and pull it open. She zeros her wide, gray eyes in on me before sagging in relief.
“Jesus. You scared the hell out of me.”
I don’t believe it. She’s fully dressed and in clothes different to what she wore last night. I analyze the huge suitcase on the bed filled with clothes and products. What is going on here?
I frown. “What are you doing? You should be in bed.”
She shakes her head as she reaches into her suitcase and pulls out a black, weathered cap. “No time for that. We have to go.”
“Go? Go where?”
She whips her long, auburn hair into a messy bun and put the cap on top. “Anywhere but here.”
Fiona grips the hood to her black hoodie and pulls it on over her cap. I watch, confused, as she frantically starts zipping her suitcase up.
I throw my bag on top of hers, stopping her eager fingers from closing the last zip. “You overdosed. I thought you were going to die. You need to be here.”
Fiona glares at me, her makeup free face evidence of how much of a toll that overdose has taken on her body. Her eyes have sunken into her face. Her lips are cracked and bleeding and her skin is as pale as snow.
“I’m fine, Sia.” She says, smiling. “Nothing a little aspirin can’t fix.”
I wince at the pain that leaks into her eyes though she’s smiling. Did something happen that I’m not aware of? She closes the remaining zipper and glances suspiciously over my shoulder.
“I don’t under—”
“They think I’m sick in the head.” She cuts in, shoving my bag onto the floor. “They’re going to lock me up somewhere.”
She pulls her suitcase, but I grab it, preventing her from tugging it off the bed.
“They can help you.” I tell her.
“No one can help me!” She hisses through clenched teeth, tears glistening in her eyes. “Not unless they have a fucking time machine!” Fiona swipes at the tears that roll down her cheeks. “I’m leaving, Cassia, and you can either come with me now…or you can stay.”
I swallow hard. Who am I to keep her here against her will? Who am I to force her into treatment she doesn’t want? I’ve never seen Fiona as someone who is mentally unstable…she’s always been bubbly and over the top. She’s hiding something from me.
I let go of her bag and grab mine. The best way to give my support is to show solidarity.
“Where are we going?” I ask, tugging my bag onto my shoulder. “Back to your house?”
She flinches. “I’d rather be locked up in a mental house than set foot back in that apartment.”
I frown. “So where do you plan on going?”
“New York.”
No. “Today?”
She nods, tugging her suitcase off the bed. “And I’m glad you decided to join me. This’d be so much harder without you.”
I can’t go to New York today. What about Caleb? He needs a few weeks. I shake my head. “Fiona that’s too soon.”
“I don’t have a choice, Sia.”
Panic bubbles to the surface as she tugs her suitcase around the end of the bed and slips on her sunglasses.
“But Caleb can’t—”
“If he can’t come, he can’t come.”
I wince and she pouts at me.
“Aw. First love is sweet, Cassia, but it’s not forever. That’s why it begins with a number. We’ll find you a nice New Yorker. A guy with a crisp suit, shiny leather shoes, and good taste in wine.”
Crisp suits? What? That’s not my type. Caleb is my type—my only type—and fuck her for thinking Caleb and I won’t last.
“I don’t want a New Yorker.” I snap at her.
Why is she shoveling all of this pressure onto me? Why is she making me choose between my happy endings? It’s supposed to come as a packaged deal! Cinderella got the prince and the castle. I’m not settling for one or the other. What is one without the other, anyway?
“Why do you want to leave so badly anyway, Fiona? Why now?”
She whips off her sunglasses. “You wanna know?”
I nod.
“It started a little while ago, the night after we watched movies at your house. I left work, I came home and I started preparing dinner—as I do most nights. I was alone until seven-thirty….that’s when Stewart walked through the door.”
I tilt my head. “Stewart?”
“Mom’s boyfriend.”
Oh. I remember her telling me about him a little while ago. She only ever had good things to say about him…
My stomach takes a nose dive as a single tear slides down her cheek. She swipes it away and slips her sunglasses back onto her face.
“Sparing you the gruesome details, he raped me at knife point and then left.”
I inch closer and she shakes her head. “Fiona…”
“The first time I overdosed was the very next day. I took a bunch of pills and overdosed in the bathroom. Mom found me, called the ambulance and I ended up here. I told them it was an accident. They didn’t
believe me, but they let me go anyway because they couldn’t be bothered dealing with another overdosing whore. Sick, right?”
I shift uncomfortably.
“Fast forward three days and I’ve locked myself in my room. He knocks. I don’t open it. He tells me my mother wants to know something. So, thinking she was there in the apartment, I open the door and cop a second helping. Fast forward to two nights ago, me and Mom were alone in the apartment. I had a bottle of wine or two which spurred me into a complete emotional breakdown. I told her everything and you know what she did? She called me a lying slut. She told me her “precious” Stewart would never put his hands on a filthy whore like me. She accused me of being in love with him because he’s a nice guy and I—apparently—only date losers. She told me I couldn’t handle that she had such a kind and gentle man while I was still kicking it with the “dregs” of society. Funny, considering those “dregs” have never touched me against my will. Finally, fast forward to Caleb’s party. I was tired. I just wanted to forget about it. Things were fine until Drew asked me if I wanted to go to the bedroom…I panicked.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? You could have stayed with me. I would have made room for you.”
Fiona shakes her head, tightening her fingers around the handle of her suitcase. “To be honest, I didn’t have the energy to pretend to be the good girl your parents think I am. Besides, you had enough problems. I didn’t want to project my shit onto you.”
I lower my head, dropping my stare to my flats. I’m a shitty friend. I’ve been so preoccupied with my insignificant problems, I didn’t touch base with her outside of work. If I did…maybe this could have been prevented.
“Lukkah is outside…if you want to come to New York we have to leave now.”
Fiona rushes off, her suitcase rolling behind her, and I follow, pulling my phone from the pocket of my jeans. Caleb is all about spontaneity, right? This is so spontaneous he’ll have no choice but to come to New York. I hit his name and bring my phone to my ear. It rings out and goes straight to voicemail.
Damn it!
I walk fast, smiling awkwardly at every nurse that eyes us suspiciously, and I do my best not to get left behind as I type out a quick text message.