‘And marriage here still means a lifelong commitment, milady.’
The words were out before Raoul could stop them. Cassie looked up, her eyes flying to his face. He read the hurt there, but could not apologise. If she thought his words were aimed at her, then he could not deny it. He knew he should not blame her for the desire she roused in him, but he could and did blame her for abandoning her lawful husband. She looked away. He knew she was aware of his disapproval, but when she spoke her voice was calm enough, although he heard the note of reserve.
‘Perhaps, monsieur, we should try a little of the food our hostess has supplied?’
* * *
The wine was rough, but palatable enough and it helped Cassandra to swallow the cake, which was dry and stale. She knew Raoul thought her contemptible for leaving her husband. She thought with a quick flash of annoyance that if he had not fallen asleep in Flagey he would know the truth. She had to admit she was reluctant to confess it all again. She did not want to tell Raoul she had lied to him in the first place. Understandable, perhaps, since he had been a stranger then and she had been wary of trusting him.
He was still a stranger, she reminded herself. They had known each other such a short time, so why did she feel that she had known him all her life? It was strangely comfortable, sitting in the dim barn with horses snuffling in the far corner. She glanced up at Raoul under her lashes. She trusted him with her life, so surely she should trust him with her secrets.
‘Raoul,’ she began tentatively, ‘what I told you, about my husband—’
She got no further. Raoul put up his hand to silence her. He was listening intently and Cassie heard it, too, the bright jingle of harnesses and beating tattoo of many of hoofs. Riders were approaching. Raoul ran to the wall of the barn. The planks had weathered and the gaps were large enough to look out.
‘Soldiers.’ He turned and came back to her. ‘Quickly, up into the hayloft, out of sight.’
Cassie gathered her skirts in one hand and scrambled up the ladder. Raoul threw their cloaks and food bag into the hayloft and followed her, drawing the ladder up after him. Outside she could hear the soldiers’ voices. Quietly, Cassie moved to the side of the barn and peered through a crack. The yard was filled with horses and the men were gathered about the well, filling their water canteens while the rain dripped from their hats. Two of the officers were standing at the farmhouse door, talking to the old woman. Cassie held her breath, expecting at any moment that they would turn towards the barn.
Raoul had crawled across beside her and he, too, was peering out through the gap. Cassie’s heart almost stopped when one of the men moved away from the troop and headed for the barn. Instinctively she reached for Raoul’s hand and gripped it as they watched the soldier approach. The man did not head for the door, but stopped to relieve himself against the wall just below them. Raoul put his arm around Cassie’s shoulder and pulled her away from the wall. She looked at him, one hand across her mouth to stifle the giggle that was welling up. He frowned and shook his head, but his eyes were alight with laughter. Their amusement died, however, when they heard more footsteps approaching the barn. Cassie held her breath. Raoul was tense and alert beside her. She knew he had the pistol he had taken from Valerin, but what use would that be against a dozen or so soldiers?
A sudden crackle of musket fire from the woods changed everything. Shouts went up, the soldiers were running back to their horses and moments later the whole troop had clattered away from the farm. A few more shots were heard, at a greater distance, and the thunder of hoofs died away, followed by almost complete silence. Cassie rolled on to her back, eyes closed and grinning with relief at their narrow escape. She heard Raoul’s ragged laugh.
‘You, milady, are a baggage. How could you give way to amusement at such a time?’
When she opened her eyes he was propped on one elbow, looking down at her.
‘I did not give way,’ she protested, still smiling broadly. ‘I was as quiet as a mouse...’
Her words trailed away into silence as she held his gaze and recognised the hot glow in his dark eyes. She fancied that there were devils dancing there, but strangely the thought did not frighten her. Raoul cupped her face with his free hand, his thumb stroking the skin of her cheek. His touch left a burning trail in its wake and made the breath catch in her throat. She tilted her chin, running her tongue over her lips. She was inviting him to kiss her and he needed no second bidding.
* * *
Raoul captured her mouth, his heart jumping as he tasted her sweetness. It was every bit as delightful as he remembered. The bolt of desire that had shot through him as she lay laughing up at him drove itself deeper, sending the hot blood pumping through his veins and putting to flight all rational thought. His fingers slid from her cheek and down to the soft swell of her breast. She did not recoil, instead her body tensed and pushed against his hand. He deepened his kiss, allowing his tongue to tease and explore her mouth while he unbuttoned her jacket and the shirt beneath. Her arms wound around his neck, fingers driving through his hair as she gave him back kiss for kiss. She stilled, he heard the moan deep in her throat when his hand slipped beneath the stays and lifted one breast free, rubbing his thumb across the stiffened peak.
Cassie threw back her head, but pushed her body closer to Raoul, measuring her length against his as he trailed kisses down her neck, his fingers working their way beneath the hard linen of her stays to free her breasts. He cupped one in his hand, his thumb circling wickedly while his lips and his tongue played with the other. Her body ached with the sheer pleasure of his touch; he was wreaking havoc with her senses and turning her very bones to water. She cradled his head in her hands, aware of the silkiness of his hair between her fingers as he continued to caress her. When she felt his teeth tug oh so gently at one aching nub she could not suppress a soft, animal cry, a mixture of longing and delight.
She arched against him, excitement spiralling through her when she felt his body pressed against her. He was hard and aroused, she was aware of it, even through the folds of her skirts. She wanted to feel his skin against hers, to have him assuage the ache that was spreading through her body, taking control. When he raised his head she was bereft, but only for a moment, until his mouth found hers once more and she could return his kiss with a fervour that she had not known she possessed.
He slid one hand down over her hips, pulling aside the skirts and petticoats. His fingers smoothed over the fine silk of her stocking, moving up past the garter and on to the skin of her thigh. She trembled at his touch and her heart leapt and hammered with anticipation. All considerations of propriety, of caution, counted for nought. She wanted him inside her with a desperation that shocked her, but she had never felt so sure of anything in her life. Her hands scrabbled at his breeches until he pushed aside her fumbling fingers and unfastened the fall flap himself.
Cassie wrapped her arms around his neck again as he continued to kiss her. She slipped one leg around him, wanting him to satisfy the hunger that was consuming her. His fingers were stroking her thigh, moving closer to her heated core. She was almost crying out with her need, her head ringing.
Through the mist of her excitement Cassie realised that the ringing was not inside her head. It was coming from somewhere outside the barn. Raoul had stopped kissing her, his body was poised above her, but he had grown very still.
* * *
‘Ah.’
Slowly, painfully Raoul fought for control as the insistent clamour of the hand bell forced itself into his consciousness. Could anything have been worse timed to prevent him sating his desires? Or better timed to stop him from taking another man’s wife. As a boy he had seen how Maman had suffered at his father’s neglect. How much more painful would it have been if he had actually committed adultery? Raoul had vowed then he would never succumb to the charms of a married woman and he had kept that vow. Until now.<
br />
He eased himself away from the warm, yielding body beneath him and sat up, turning his back on Cassandra. He dared not look at her lest his control should snap. He knew it was still as fragile as fine glass.
‘A most judicious interruption, I think.’ He spoke lightly, his tone completely at odds with the fire that was raging through him like a fever.
‘Raoul.’
He heard the uncertainty as Cassie murmured his name and he closed his eyes, breathing deeply. He was fighting with everything he had not to turn back and finish what they had started. When she touched his arm he shook her off, saying harshly, ‘I know you English think nothing of infidelity, milady, but in my world such betrayal is wrong. I could not forgive myself if I came between a man and his wife. I have seen the pain such an act can inflict.’ He began to fasten his clothes, keeping his back to her lest he should look into her eyes. Even now he knew he might weaken. ‘If I am not mistaken our hostess is calling us and not a moment too soon. Straighten your clothes, milady, while I go and fetch our dinner.’
* * *
Cassie watched as Raoul dropped the ladder back in place and quickly descended without sparing her another glance. Hot tears burned her eyelids and she blinked them away, determined that she would not cry. She crossed her arms over her stomach. She should be thankful for Raoul’s restraint. A coupling here, with a man she would most likely never see again was sheer madness, but at this very moment, with her body still burning up with desire, it was hard not to regret the clamouring hand bell that had put an end to that madness.
She sat up and felt a slight tug on her neck as the locket she wore beneath her riding habit dropped back into place. She put up one hand to clasp the cool metal, her fingers tracing the outline of the large ruby fixed in the cover while she thought of the picture inside. Her husband. A handsome, smiling face that hid a weak and selfish nature. So different from Raoul. She felt dizzy, her body still thrumming from Raoul’s touch, but she must forget how right it felt to be in his arms, how his kiss had thrilled her. How much it had hurt when he rejected her.
He still thinks you are a married woman, that you were about to commit adultery.
She must tell him the truth, then perhaps he would not hold her in such contempt. And then what would happen? She would give herself to him in the heat of passion, only to discover once again that she had mistaken her feelings. Or even worse, that his were transitory. She shivered. How could they be anything else, upon such a short acquaintance? Slowly she fastened the buttons of her shirt and jacket.
No, better to let him think ill of you, since you do not have the strength of will to withstand the attraction.
But as she carefully descended the ladder Cassie knew she would tell him the truth. Whatever the dangers, she could not bear to have him thinking badly of her.
* * *
Raoul returned a few moments later carrying a large tray laden with plates and dishes.
‘Dinner is served, milady.’
He was smiling, his voice perfectly friendly, but his eyes were shuttered, and Cassie felt as if a barrier had come down between them. His demeanour was that of a stranger and she was too raw, too uncertain to confide in him now.
* * *
They consumed their meal sitting apart, like two strangers, and as soon as they had finished Raoul collected up the dishes and took them back to the farmhouse.
‘We will set off again when it is dark,’ he said when he returned. ‘The rain has stopped and the sky is clearing, we should have the moon to light our way. I believe if we press on we will reach Dieppe by morning, but it will be a long ride, so we had best try to get some sleep.’
Without another word he threw himself down on his makeshift bed of straw and sacks and turned his back on her. Cassie swallowed a sigh and lay down on the sacks she had used earlier. They were lying at the far sides of the pile of straw so even if she threw out an arm she could not touch him, but the distance between them could not be measured now in feet and inches. It was imperative that she explain to him that she was not the selfish, adulterous wife he thought her, but not now. Now they both needed to rest before the long ride to Dieppe.
* * *
Their final journey started well enough. A light breeze blew small clouds across the sky, but rarely obscured the sliver of moon that hung above them. However as they rode north the air became heavier, the cloud thickened and thunder rumbled ominously in the distance. They followed a track through a narrow, wooded gorge with bare rock rising up like high black walls on either side. Cassie shivered and looked around nervously. As she did so a flash of lightning made the world as light as day and she screamed.
‘Raoul, there is someone back there, in the trees!’
Immediately Raoul stopped and turned his horse, staring hard into the darkness. They both listened intently, but there was nothing, other than the keening wind that was rustling the leaves.
‘Perhaps I imagined it,’ she muttered.
‘Perhaps, or it could have been an animal,’ said Raoul. ‘If there was anyone there they have gone now.’ More thunder rumbled, accompanied by bright, searing flashes. ‘Come along. I think we would do well to find shelter.’
The storm clouds were gathering rapidly, there was very little moonlight left and when Raoul spotted the black mouth of a cave just ahead he turned his horse from the path and made his way towards it.
They were just in time. Even as they approached the cave the first, fat drops of rain began to fall. They dismounted and led the horses towards the shadowy aperture. The cave turned out to be little more than a rocky overhang, but it was deep enough to provide shelter for them and the horses. They had barely reached it when the rain turned to a heavy, drenching downpour. The animals snorted nervously as a clap of thunder rent the air and rumbled around the skies. Apart from the occasional flicker of lightning it was very dark and everything was reduced to shades of black.
Cassie peered out into the gloom. ‘Do you think there is anyone out there?’
‘I doubt it. Valerin would not hesitate to move in if he had us in his sights.’
Cassie nodded. She tried to remember just what she had seen, but it had been so fleeting, a mere shadow moving quickly between the trees. It was nerves, she told herself. She was growing fanciful. She found a small ledge at the back of the shallow cave to rest upon while Raoul paced restlessly up and down, little more than a black shadow moving against the darkness.
‘Will you not sit down?’ she asked him. ‘There is enough space here for two.’
‘Thank you, no. I am glad to stretch my legs.’
‘You would rather not be near me.’ She stated it baldly, trying not to sound wistful.
‘That is true.’
She clasped her hands tightly and screwed up her courage. It was time to speak.
‘Raoul, I have to tell you, I...I lied to you. When we first met. I was married, yes, but I am a widow now. My husband died at Verdun and it was only then that I decided to return to England.’
He had stopped pacing, but she could not see his face. She fancied he had his back to her, looking out into the night. She would have to listen carefully to his reply and judge his reaction by his tone.
‘Ah.’
There was nothing to be learned from that brief response. She felt rather than saw him turn.
‘Why do you tell me this now?’
‘Because I do not want you to think badly of me. Or to blame yourself for...for what nearly happened in the barn.’
He said politely, ‘I am grateful, milady.’
A flicker of lightning showed him standing before her, his face impassive. As the darkness returned he was moving again, muttering that he would just check the horses were securely tethered. Moments later he was back, a black presence, almost invisible in the darkness.
‘These st
orms rarely last too long,’ he said. ‘We shall be able to resume our journey again soon.’
She frowned. Was that all? He had no other comment to make about her confession? She strained her eyes against the blackness.
‘It is not just that you thought me a married woman, is it? There is something more. Is it my birth that makes you dislike me?’
‘I do not...dislike you.’
‘No.’ She sighed. ‘At times I have thought we might even be friends, but at others...’
‘You are English. You are my enemy.’
‘But you told me yourself you are from Brussels, that is not part of France.’
‘True, but I wanted it to be, at one time. I was full of revolutionary zeal when I joined the French Navy to fight the English.’
‘And you left it because you have no faith in the Consulate or in Bonaparte.’
‘That does not mean I no longer hate the English.’
‘Hate is a strong word, Raoul. What happened to make you so bitter?’
He cursed angrily.
‘Damn your arrogance! You are paying me to escort you to Dieppe, nothing more. It does not give you the right to pry into my life.’
She reeled in dismay at his outburst and quickly begged pardon.
‘I did not mean to pry, I...’ She hesitated. What should she say; that she cared about him? She knew he did not want that. She murmured again, ‘I beg your pardon.’
Silence. When Raoul did speak it was to say merely, ‘The rain has stopped. We may continue our journey.’
The conversation was at an end and Cassie almost screamed with frustration. Raoul said he did not dislike her, yet he hated her race. She wanted to know why, but the moment was lost and he would not tell her now. She stood up and looked about her. She had been so intent on their conversation she had not noticed that the thunder had moved away and the downpour had ceased. The clouds were breaking up, too, and the crescent moon had once more made an appearance.
Return of the Runaway Page 13