I Shall Survive Using Potions! Volume 4

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I Shall Survive Using Potions! Volume 4 Page 8

by Funa


  “Yes, I learned of your existence while researching various medicines for my son. The miracle medicine, known as the ‘potion,’ was said to have circulated in and around the Kingdom of Balmore for several years. They say a scary-look...children cri...girl with sharp eyes...was heavily involved in the creation and distribution of said potions. Then there were rumors of a girl with terrify... I mean, intense eyes, who was said to have stood in the shadows during the defeat and miraculous resurgence of the Aligot Empire four years ago, along with the fall of the Holy Land of Rueda and the glorious appearance of the Goddess Celestine. Also, there were the hidden workings of the secret organization, the Eyes of the Goddess, and the angel’s salvation for the pure of heart... With our country being so far away, only the upper echelons seem to have grasped the full story, but even a lower-class noble of little means like myself can obtain such information, when possessed of desperate determination to save my child...”

  ...Okay, I get it! You don’t have to put in so much effort to avoid saying my eyes are scary!

  It makes me feel worse when you have to try so hard to be considerate about it!

  ...Damn it.

  Well then, my job was done.

  Time to go!

  “Well, I’ve done what I came here to do, so I’ll be excusing myself now...”

  “Please wait! It would sully my honor if you were to leave without me repaying you! I beg of you, allow me to express my gratitude somehow!” the baron pleaded desperately.

  Well, I suppose that was to be expected. I’m sure he didn’t want to part ways forever after this one meeting, but it seemed he truly did want to thank me, so I decided to accept the usual: a small gift that he could manage without putting a strain on himself. I also had to make sure he kept quiet about this.

  “First, I want you to promise you will never tell another soul about me. I don’t want to deal with rude people with empty hearts, and I am not a fan of laying waste to entire countries... Though, really, it doesn’t seem to bother Celes.”

  “Y-Y-Yes, of course! I swear by the Goddess herself!”

  Wow, he actually seems terrified...

  But I guess that was to be expected. There were many myths and legends of Celes destroying whole nations. In fact, the tale of how she left a scar on this very land was actually a true story.

  “And, hmm... Well then, I’ll accept some information as a token of your gratitude.”

  “...Information?” The baron looked at me with a blank expression. I mean, he was probably wondering what sort of information the angel could possibly want.

  “Do you know of any royalty in this country who suffer from a serious illness or injury?”

  He seemed to understand why I was asking the question.

  “N-No, not in the royal families, or among the ducal families, for that matter. Though, if they were keeping such news private, I would naturally not be aware of it...”

  Yeah, he was just a baron after all. He wouldn’t know about the private affairs of the higher-ups unless he was investigating specific families. He must have spent a lot of money and effort to get information about the angel and potions, too.

  “What about the noble houses of marquisate rank and lower?”

  “Yes, there are several. Elderly heads of house, who have already passed their titles to their heirs; sick and feeble children; those who were injured while on horseback or in conflicts with other fiefs; those with lung diseases and other illnesses... When you include lower-class nobles, life peers, and their dependents, it adds up to quite a lot of people.”

  I thought so...

  “So, what would you do if those people demanded that you tell them how your son was cured, or insisted that you introduce them to the potion maker who helped you?”

  Yes, this was what I was really worried about.

  The baron likely would have kept my secret if left unmolested, but I would have felt bad if he suffered for it.

  “Oh, you needn’t worry about that... That I’ve been searching far and wide for medicine, for skilled apothecaries, and have consequently gotten involved with charlatans, is quite well known. So, if I say one of them healed my son, no one could be certain which of them happened to have succeeded, and no one would expect me to know where some vagrant potion maker might be. And, just in case...”

  With that, the baron looked me in the eye and spoke with a serious expression.

  “Please tell me the following: ‘If anyone asks about me and tries to force you to speak, I will first kill them and their entire family. I will only speak to them afterward.’ There would be no need to actually carry this out, of course. The purpose is so I can say that this is what I’ve been told.”

  The heck is that?! How are they supposed to speak to me after I killed them?

  Besides, their injured and sick would be dead by that point, so there would be no need for the angel or the Tears of the Goddess!

  Though, that would resolve the issue...

  “Please do not worry. I won’t ever reveal anything, so there will never be any need for you to spill blood in this particular instance.”

  ... ‘In this particular instance’? He made it sound like I’d been slaughtering people left and right! Come on, now... Did he assume I was like Celes because of her particular history? I wasn’t the type to decimate entire countries just because I got a little fed up! ...Wait, had I done that once? No, no, I only flipped over a nation’s entire structure. It wasn’t as if I massacred its people and destroyed the entire land.

  I’m not like Celes, I swear!

  Well, whatever. Don’t fret over the small stuff!

  “All right, then. Here it goes. ‘If anyone asks about me and tries to force you to speak, I will first kill them and their entire family. I will only speak to them afterward.’ Good?”

  “Yes, thank you!”

  All right, my job here is done.

  “Well then, I’ll be...”

  “Please wait!”

  Again?!

  “I ask that you at least accept this as thanks!”

  With that, he held out a small, weighty-looking leather bag.

  It looked just like one of those bags of gold you see people hand out as they say, ‘Here’s your reward!’ ...Wait, that’s exactly what it was!

  When did he even have a chance to get that ready? ...Hey, there’s a butler-looking guy standing behind the baron! Where’d he come from?!

  But he was a lower-class noble, and must have spent quite a lot of money looking for a cure for his son... He was probably using up all his available funds and grasping at straws for rumors that weren’t all that believable, or treatments that probably wouldn’t work, hoping against hope... I would have felt bad for putting more financial strain on him. It wasn’t as if I was wanting for money, anyway.

  “No, I don’t accept those types of payments. I only take small tokens of... Oh, I know!”

  With that, I took the leather pouch and loosened the strap that held it closed. Then I dumped out its contents onto the table.

  Ahh, this hand-feel! It was the ‘leather bag for gold coins’ reward that I’ve always wanted!

  “I’ll be taking this!”

  “Huh? Wh-What...?”

  The baron was dumbfounded. But I didn’t care!

  This texture is absolutely amazing! Could it be buckskin? Or leather from some slain monster, to keep the cost low?

  In any case, this was quite enough for my ‘token of gratitude.’ I was way happier with this than I would have been with some Chanel bag! Yes, I know, I could have just asked someone where to buy a bag like this. But I wanted something to remember this meeting by. Though, to be honest, I couldn’t really think of anything else to accept as thanks.

  I decided to provide a follow-up explanation.

  “The coins in the bag were full of the love and care that the parents and servants of this house have for this child, and full of gratitude for the Goddess. This bag is brimming with the love that has been imbued into it
by the coins... Are you familiar with a dish known as simmered beril and daikon?”

  “Y-Yes, I’ve had it before...”

  Beril was a fish that was a lot like buri... In fact, it could have been the same exact fish. I couldn’t tell the minute differences apart, but when I ate it, it seemed like the same fish. And daikon was, well, Japanese radish.

  With my automatic translation ability, the fish came up in my mind as “beril,” and the plant came up as “daikon,” though it could have been that it was something else entirely, but I didn’t know the distinction.

  What was the difference?!

  ...Anyway, “simmered beril and daikon” was basically simmered buri and daikon. Even though he was a lower-class noble, I was a bit surprised that the baron had eaten this dish before. It was totally considered ‘commoner food.’ Well, it meant there wasn’t any need for explanations, so that was fine by me.

  “Then I’m certain you will understand. With that dish, the beril seems to be the main component, but that’s not the case. The daikon, which has absorbed the beril’s umami, is the star of the show! The beril is nothing more than a component. Likewise, the Goddess will appreciate this leather bag that has soaked up your love and faith, far more than she would have the gold that has given it up already. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I will take my leave.”

  There, a perfect follow-up. I’d successfully evaded the baron’s gift of coins without making him look bad.

  This time, I can finally retreat in good order!

  At the baron’s house, after Kaoru had left...

  “I see... The pouch that has absorbed our thoughts and feelings has far greater worth than the gold coins... Are you kidding me?!” the baron shouted out loudly.

  “Indeed...” his butler replied, with an awkward smile, “That must have been...”

  “Yes. A ruse on the angel’s part, out of consideration for our financial situation. An incredibly obvious one, at that... She may be good at performing miracles, but she’s completely lacking in acting ability. With her s-strange mask...”

  Then he stood from his seat and went down on his knees again to pray, sobbing all the while, while the butler left the room in silence.

  *   *

  When I returned from the baron’s place, my guards were waiting for me. This time, it was the full cast of fighters: Francette, Roland, and Emile. I’d never consider Belle a fighter, since she’d die trying to take one enemy down with her. And so, Belle stayed behind to watch the shop with Layette.

  The others stayed away from me, of course. They would have ruined the whole point of my disguise if they had been hovering around me. It would have been a dead giveaway, so they had to keep some distance between us and act like strangers, at least until I found some secluded place to remove my disguise.

  They had been waiting outside, just in case something went wrong at the baron’s house, but I doubt there were many in this world who would dare try something with me. And by ‘try something,’ I mean to try taking advantage of me, knowing that I am the angel. That would be one easy way to incur Celes’ wrath. Celes was pretty quick to anger, and had no reservations about killing humans. The people of this world were well aware of this.

  There were several well-known examples in the recent past, and there was a painful reminder left over in the form of a scar on the continent.

  Yeah, no. No thanks to using that sort of force.

  Anyway, it was time for me to go home and prepare dinner.

  *   *

  I closed down the shop for the day to go out with everyone. The destination? A pasture in the suburbs. It was about time I went to pay a visit, or they were going to get upset again. By “they,” I mean Ed and the others.

  So, the six of us went to practice horseback riding.

  “Ed, we’re here!”

  “Ohh, you’re here!”

  “Welcome.”

  “Got any sugar cubes, Big Sis Kaoru?”

  Ed’s family seemed to be the same as ever.

  “How’s life here?”

  “The food is great here, thanks to you paying extra, and we can roam the riding grounds and grass fields freely, and I can always be with my family, so I’m more than happy! I love the looks of envy the others have been giving me, too!”

  “Ahaha...”

  Roland and Francette were bonding with their own horses next to us. Oh, and they were also getting fed the special food, like corn, carrots, apples, and sugar cubes, of course. I had given the sugar cubes to the manager myself.

  ...He may have been taking a cut for himself, but I was willing to let it slide a little. As long as it was just for his family and he wasn’t reselling them, that is.

  Roland and Francette were apparently the type to really care for their horses, brushing and providing a lot of physical contact and affection. They were well cared for, thanks to the additional fees I’d been paying, but this was something else altogether.

  The horses were saying, “Not like that! Brush along the hairs with more gentleness and love!” but I decided not to tell them.

  Emile and Belle rode Ed’s wife and daughter to lightly trot around the area, while I had Layette ride Ed. Ed’s daughter may have been smaller and easier to ride than Ed, but I had more experience with riding Ed, so I felt more confident in trusting him with Layette.

  You never knew what kind of unexpected mistake could occur with the combination of an inexperienced rider and a horse, so I wouldn’t have felt at ease otherwise.

  I told Ed as such, and he said, “That’s right, you totally get it,” with a satisfied expression.

  We usually traveled by chariot, but there were times when we rode together with Layette in my arms, and she might have to ride by herself in an emergency some time.

  I explained this to Ed and Layette, and told them to master how to ride fast while prioritizing their safety. And with me translating Ed’s comments to Layette, Layette quickly improved her riding skills, just like I had.

  Afterwards, I had Belle and Layette train to escape with the two of them riding one horse. This was in preparation for a potential scenario in which I was buying time with Ed while Belle helped Layette escape. They protested that they would never run away without me, but when I insisted that it was an order, they reluctantly did as they were told.

  Though, in this scenario, I’d actually be making them retreat not so I could buy some time, but because I wouldn’t want them to see how terribly I’d end up devastating the opponent.

  “...Well? What is it, Ed?”

  “Huh...?”

  “There’s something you want to discuss or ask of me, isn’t there? I know you, Ed. I can tell. There’s no need for modesty between us. Just spit it out while we’re alone over here. Though... it would just sound like neighing to them, even if they were in earshot.”

  “Guess nothing gets past you...”

  After hesitating for a moment, Ed opened his mouth.

  “Thing is, there’s a good-natured old guy here at this pasture. He’s really nice, telling me all sorts of funny stories and keeping my daughter entertained with his chats. But one day, he fell asleep while laying out in the sun. He said in his sleep... ‘This is revenge for my master!’ ‘Miss, that’s the murderer!’ I realized there were tears running down his face...”

  Hmm, maybe this old man’s a caretaker for the horses? Someone with a complicated past...

  “Unlike humans, we horses don’t shed tears often. Only for something real serious.”

  ...Wait, this “old guy” was a horse?!

  Oh, he did mention that they were talking to each other. Of course it was a horse.

  “This old guy’s going to be put down soon. He can’t pull carriages, carry riders, or be a workhorse at the farm anymore. But still... Still. I want to do something for him! When he goes, I want him to go with a smile, satisfied with the life he lived!”

  “Ed... have you realized?”

  “Huh? Realized what?”

&nbs
p; “You’re shedding tears right now...”

  If Ed felt so strongly about it, I couldn’t stand by and do nothing. After all, Ed was my beloved horse, friend... and brother in arms.

  All right, I’ll do it!

  “My mount and sacred horse, Ed, I will grant your wish. Stand by my side and strike down the immoral!”

  “It would be my honor...”

  “We will help as well, Ed!” Roland and Francette’s horses neighed.

  Were they trying to get on my good side because I’m a goddess? Or maybe they wanted Ed’s favor because they’re into his daughter...

  Oh, well. The greater the numbers, the better.

  This was a request from my own horse, so I couldn’t involve Francette, Roland, Emile, or Belle. I was doing this for my own reasons, so I didn’t want to drag unrelated people into it. But these two horses had offered to help the old horse of their own accord, so I didn’t mind accepting their assistance.

  It wasn’t as if they’d need to do anything, so they’d be out of harm’s way, anyhow. They’d simply be accomplices in this.

  So...

  “Okay. Everyone, we need to keep this a secret from Roland, Francette, and the others, so laugh together with me to avoid suspicion. Ready? Aaand...”

  “Breeehehehe!” neighed the horses, completely naturally.

  “Ahahaha!”

  If you suddenly saw your horse walk over to me, exchange some words, then start laughing in an exaggerated way...

  Yeah, you’d probably have that look on your face. That dubious, judging expression...

  When Roland and Francette asked me what our conversation had been about, I told them that my jokes even land on horses, but it was a pun that only worked in their language, so humans wouldn’t understand.

  Ed pointed out the old horse in question, and I told the others I was going to check in with the other horses to make sure Ed had been behaving.

  “Are you Carlos?”

  “Wha—?! A talking human? Impossible!”

 

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