by A. M. Myers
“First off, Iris isn’t like that and second, anyone who is doesn’t deserve to know you. I may not know what happened with Brooklyn’s father but I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t be raising her by yourself if you had any other choice.”
“Thank you,” I whisper as my heart pounds in my chest. I glance down at the table for a second as a blush creeps up my cheeks before meeting his eyes again. “Tell me about her.”
“Iris?”
I nod and he laughs as he pulls his hand back and pops a French fry into his mouth. “Let’s see… she’s worked as a manager at this little grocery store as long as I’ve known her and she’s super laid back, which is exactly what I needed as a kid. She likes to drink tea and watch movies - that’s something we used to do together when I couldn’t sleep…”
“I can’t see you drinking tea,” I interrupt and he laughs.
“To be honest, it wasn’t for me so she’d make me hot cocoa and we’d watch her chick flicks.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “I can’t see that either.”
“I know. No one can but I have a plethora of movie references up here,” he says, tapping the side of his forehead.
“Plethora, huh? I’m impressed.”
He nods with a wink as he grabs another French fry. “You should be.”
“How did you meet Iris? Was she fostering other kids?”
“Uh,” he mutters before clearing his throat. “No. Her house backs up to the woods and there’s this old railway that used to run through there but they don’t use it anymore. Clay and I found an old boxcar sitting on the abandoned track and we were living there when she found us.”
“Oh my god, Lucas,” I whisper, imagining my own baby out in the woods, living in a boxcar and tears sting my eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
As he glances down at the table, he shakes his head. “It’s okay. I mean, it all worked out, right?”
“Still, no kid should have to go through something like that. How did you end up there?”
“I think that’s enough sadness for one day, don’t you?” he replies, lifting his head and the pain in his eyes breaks my heart. There’s so much depth to this man as well as pain and tragedy that I haven’t discovered yet and what I already know makes me want to pull him into my arms and fix it for him. “There’s something that I wanted to ask you, though.”
“What?”
“Your ex fiancé… what happened with him?”
I sigh and pick at my sandwich. “Nothing really, which I guess was the problem. I met Danny just before the start of my sophomore year of college and he was the kind of guy that everyone expected me to end up with. Like if you saw us, you would just assume we were together because we looked like we fit but in every other area of our relationship, it was just… boring, expected.”
“So you ended it?”
I nod. “Yeah. I just wanted something… more. Besides, if I had to listen to one more golf story, I would have blown my brains out.”
“No golf stories, got it,” he murmurs with a grin and I laugh, playfully scowling at him.
“I’ll believe the movie thing but there’s no way you have golf stories.”
“Okay, you’ve got me on that one. So, if you don’t want golf stories and the expected, what is it that you do want?”
“I want to be someone’s whole world. I want to be loved so fiercely that it takes my breath away sometimes and I want to build a beautiful family on the basis of that love.”
His brows shoot up. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” I answer with a smile as I drop my gaze for a second before peeking back up at him. “What about you? What do you want?”
“I want to get my brother clean.”
I shake my head. “No, what do you want? When you reach the end of your life, what is going to be the thing that you look back on and say “I did good”?”
He opens his mouth to respond before snapping it shut again as a scowl takes over his features.
“What?” I ask and he shakes his head.
“Honestly, I don’t know. My whole life for the last six years has been Clay and I think I’ve completely forgotten about me.”
“You need to figure out what is going to make you happy.”
He nods. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
Watching him, my heart breaks. It’s clear to me that Lucas has one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever encountered but he hides it behind jokes and charm while he silently suffers through so much pain that I’m not even sure how he’s standing. In some ways, he and I are so alike and but it feels like he’s given up hope at ever having a normal life, which is something I still desperately cling to.
“I hope this doesn’t upset you but your brother is his own person and he’s going to do whatever he wants to do. It’s clear to me that you carry around an immense amount of pain from your past but you can’t carry his, too. The reason he turns to drugs is because he doesn’t know how else to deal with that pain in a healthy way but that’s what he has to learn if he’s ever going to get clean.”
“Are you saying I shouldn’t help him?” he asks, his jaw ticking and I shake my head as I reach across the table and grab his hand.
“No, not at all, but just like your brother uses drugs to bury his pain, you use him to avoid yours and you’ll never be happy or free until you let him go enough to become your own person and have your own life.”
He clears his throat and stands abruptly, knocking the chair back a little. It scrapes against the floor and I feel like every eye on the street turns to look at us. “I’ve… uh, I’ve got to go.”
I watch him as he walks back into the deli and stomps out the front door without ever looking back at me. Once he’s out of sight, I lean back in my chair and release a heavy breath. “Shit.”
* * * *
“You got any plans tonight?” Alice asks as she plops down next to me on the couch. I glance down at the jeans and nice shirt I changed into after work on the off chance that Lucas shows up to take Brooklyn and me to dinner tonight.
“Not sure.”
She arches a brow as her gaze dips to my outfit. “How are you not sure?”
“Well… Lucas invited Brooklyn and me over for dinner but then I’m pretty sure I put my foot in my mouth.”
“Did you text him?”
I nod. “Yeah, and I tried calling him today.”
“I’ll get the wine,” she replies, patting my leg as she jumps off the couch and I sigh. The doorbell rings before she makes it into the kitchen and she stops in the hallway before slowly turning to me.
“You want me to get that?”
I peek over the back of the couch to the front door. “Maybe just go see who it is first.”
“Okay, ‘cause that won’t make you look like a crazy person. You know we don’t have a peephole.”
“I told you we should have bought that video doorbell thing,” I grumble as I get off the couch and meet her in the hallway.
“You gonna go answer it?” she asks as the bell rings again.
“I don’t know. What if he’s just here to break up with me?”
She shakes her head, giving me a little shove toward the door. “Guys don’t break up in person anymore. If that’s what he was doing, he would have texted you or just ghosted you.”
“Good to know.”
He knocks on the door and I sigh before dragging myself across the foyer, my heart racing as I silently plead to the heavens to not let him dump me. I know we’ve only gone on one real date, but boy do I like him. As I wrap my hand around the doorknob, I suck in a breath and count to three before yanking it open. Lucas glances up at me and surprises me as he flashes me a smile that makes my knees a little weak.
“Hey, you ready?”
I narrow my eyes. “Uh, maybe?”
“Maybe?”
“Um,” I mutter, glancing over my shoulder to where Alice is standing, listening to our every word. “Do you think we could talk outside?”
“Sure.”<
br />
We step outside and I shut the door behind me as butterflies flap around in my belly.
“What’s up?” he asks.
“I, uh… I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I didn’t mean to upset you…”
He presses his finger to my lips, silencing me as he takes a step forward, closing the space between us. “Please don’t apologize for what you said. It was essentially what my brothers in the club have been saying to me for years but the way you said it, it stuck with me. I was up all night thinking about it and meeting you has made me realize that I do want a life. Not that I know what I want in that life yet but I do want it.”
“So…” I say, studying him. “We’re good?”
“Yeah, we’re good,” he answers with a nod and I release a breath. “Now, are you and Brooklyn ready to go?”
I glance down at my outfit as I nod absentmindedly. “Just give me like two minutes.”
He nods and follows me as I turn back to the house and step inside. Alice is waiting right where I left her and she shoots me an “I told you so” look as she crosses her arms over her chest.
“Shut up,” I whisper as I race past her into the living room where Brooklyn is quietly playing with blocks. “Hey, baby girl. You ready to go?”
She looks up before dropping her block on the floor and reaching for me. Before I can grab her, Lucas laughs at something Alice says and her head whips in the direction of the foyer. She’s off like a bolt of lightning, quickly crawling out of the living room and into the foyer. A squeal greets me as Lucas laughs again and when I step into the hallway, my heart almost seizes at the sight of him holding her in his arms.
God, what is it about a sexy man holding a baby that sends ovaries into overdrive?
“Ready?” he asks and I nod, grabbing my purse off the table.
“Yeah, let’s go.”
“Y’all have fun now, ya hear?” Alice calls in a smug voice as we walk out of the house and I flip her off behind my back. Her laughter reaches me just before the door closes and I shake my head, fighting back a smile. I hate when Alice is right because that girl can gloat like no one else so I know I’ll be hearing about this for the next month, at least.
“I feel like I need to clear something up,” Lucas says as he climbs behind the wheel of my car after buckling Brooklyn into her car seat.
“What’s that?”
“Earlier, when you thought I was here to break up with you… Well, I just can’t see that happening anytime soon. Or maybe even ever if I’m being honest. We’re taking this slow because that’s what you need not because of the way I’m feeling about you.”
I blink, surprised but not unhappy with his declaration. The fear that I expected isn’t there either. “Oh.”
“Shit. Now I scared you by saying that.”
I shake my head and reach out to grab his hand. “You don’t scare me, Lucas. And if we’re being honest, I don’t even know what I meant when I asked you to take this slow. It’s just been so long since I’ve dated and I’m a different person now than I was then but I’m comfortable with the pace we’re at now and in case you haven’t noticed, I really, really like you.”
“Yeah?” he asks with a shy smile that pulls at my heart strings. I nod.
“Yeah.”
His smile grows as he reaches across the car and brushes my hair from my face. “What are the rules on kissing you?”
“Oh, the rule on kissing is simple.”
“Is it?” he asks, arching a brow. “Why don’t you enlighten me?”
“The rule is that you should kiss me as frequently and passionately as you want.”
He nods slowly, like he’s thinking over what I said before he meets my eyes again. The spark of playfulness in his gaze makes my heart skip a beat. “So, what you’re really saying, is that I’ve been dropping the ball?”
“Yes… I think you have.”
Warmth rushes through me and my body hums in anticipation as he leans in and just when his lips brush against mine, Brooklyn lets out a squeal from the back seat. Lucas drops his head and chuckles before turning to my daughter.
“No one forgot you were here, baby girl.”
“Guess you’ll have to save that kiss for later,” I whisper, tracing my finger over his bottom lip after he glances back up at me. His blue eyes darken and the hunger in his gaze feels like a bolt of electricity running through my veins but he doesn’t move. “Lucas?”
“We’re going to be late for dinner,” he growls before opening his door and climbing out of the car. I watch him, open-mouthed, as he rounds the front of the car and opens my door. Reaching into the car, he pulls me to my feet and closes the door before pressing my back to the car. There’s a flash of fear that lances through me and he picks up on it immediately, brushing his fingers across my face. “Tell me what happened to you, baby.”
“Now really isn’t the time or place, Lucas,” I whisper and he nods, studying me for a moment.
“Listen, I’ve worked with enough women who have been hurt by men to know that something bad happened to you and the last thing I would ever want to do is push you past your limits so I want you to always remember that, no matter what, you’re the one in control here. Say you understand that.”
I nod without even a moment’s hesitation. “Yes.”
“I’m gonna kiss you now,” he replies, holding my face as he leans in and my eyes flutter closed as our lips connect. I sigh. His arms slip around my waist and he pulls me close. I trail my fingers across his chest, reveling in the feeling of his firm muscles and the low hum that vibrates in the back of his throat from my touch.
“Get a room!” a voice yells and we both jerk back. I glare up at the front porch where Alice flashes me a grin.
“Go away!” I yell back and she laughs as she turns away from us. We watch her disappear into the house before Lucas turns back to me and steals another quick kiss.
“Come on. Iris will have my ass if we’re late.”
I arch a brow as I fight back a smile. “You risked your ass just for a kiss?”
“Naw, Darlin’. Not just any kiss.”
A wide smile stretches across my face and my cheeks heat as he opens my car door and after I slip inside, he closes it and rounds the front of the car again. Brooklyn squeals from the back seat as we pull out of the driveway and I laugh, turning my head to glance back at her.
“Why is it whenever you come around, I’m chopped liver to that girl?”
He laughs, peeking at her in the rearview mirror. “She’s got good taste.”
“So humble,” I tease and he flashes me a grin before turning back to the road. Butterflies start to flap around in my belly and I press my hand against it as I suck in a breath. “I can’t believe how nervous I am.”
“Don’t be nervous, sweetheart. Like I told you before, Iris is very chill.”
I nod, reaching across the center console to hold his hand. “But she’s important to you, which means that I want to make a good first impression.”
“Well, if it’s any consolation, you made a fantastic first impression on me.”
“Did I?” I laugh. “Tell me, was it the internal bleeding or panic attack that really won you over?”
“All of the above.”
With a giggle, I shake my head. “I don’t think those are going to work on Iris.”
“That’s true,” he agrees with a nod. “But we’ve been hanging out for like two weeks now and I can confidently say that you are an easy person to love.”
“Am I now?” I ask breathlessly. Does that mean that he…
“Definitely.”
Turning to him, I study his face as he focuses on the road ahead of us, trying to discern what exactly he meant by that statement. Like he just said, we’ve only been hanging out for two weeks so surely he can’t mean that he loves me. Right? Then again, I’m not all that sure how I feel about him. Saying I like him feels so inadequate for the thumping of my heart and the butterflies in my belly any time
he comes around but do I love him? I don’t know.
“We’re here,” he says and I turn as the cute little cottage comes into view.
“This is where you grew up?”
He nods as he pulls the car to a stop and puts it in park. “Yep. You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be,” I answer with a nod and he shakes his head as he climbs out of the car. I suck in a breath before slipping out of the car and he’s already at the back door, unbuckling Brooklyn. Once he has her out, he carries her over to me and grabs my hand. She lays her head down on his shoulder as she plops her thumb into her mouth and my heart aches at the sight of them. He’s so damn good with her and she absolutely adores him - something that surprised me since she’s usually so reserved around strangers but from the moment they met, she’s been head over heels for the man.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything cuter,” someone says and I turn toward the cottage, smiling at the dark haired woman in the doorway. Her gaze moves to me and she smiles. “You must be Quinn.”
“I am. It’s so nice to meet you,” I tell her, holding my hand out but she bypasses it and wraps me up in a hug as the warm scent of apples and cinnamon surrounds me.
“Come on in,” she urges as she pulls away and turns to Lucas. Brooklyn pops her head up, with her thumb still in her mouth, and stares at Iris, who smiles at her. “Hello, gorgeous girl.”
Brooklyn smiles around her thumb and Iris lets out a chuckle before glancing back at Lucas.
“You look good with a baby on your hip, kid.”
He peeks over at me with a grin. “You hear that, babe? I look good with a baby on my hip.”
“She’s not wrong,” I answer, fighting back a smile. My stomach growls, drawing the attention of everyone on the porch and Iris backs up toward the door, ushering us to follow her.
“Come on, y’all. Pizza got here just before you did.”
Lucas wraps his free arm around my waist as we step into the cottage. “Iris isn’t much of a cook,” he whispers and she turns to glare at him.
“I heard that.”
“Tell me I’m wrong.”
She sneers before turning back toward the kitchen and he laughs, pulling me into his side.