by Maya William
I listen to Kellan’s boom of laughter, which tempts me to join in. Samuel’s tall and well built, but Kellan’s on a whole different level.
Samuel overpowering Kellan? Yeah, right! As if!
“You’re not Joy,” Kellan states.
Joy? Like, smaller than me, Joy?
“What if it was the other way around and Barb was the one not letting you in?” Samuel smartly changes his tactics. “Please, man, it’s only for a couple minutes. I just want to drop this off.”
Silence.
“I’m going to leave for a short break,” Kellan says at last. “When I return, you’ll not be here, and I don’t want to hear her cry, understood?”
Oh, nuts! Did Samuel just bribe my bouncer? What the hell, Big Guy?
Without waiting for an answer, I tiptoe quickly to bed, pull the covers on top of myself, and fake sleep.
A few seconds later, the sound of quiet footsteps enter my room, walking up the few steps. My hand fists, the nails biting into my palm. The physical pain momentarily distracts me from the one in my heart.
Samuel approaches my bed, and the light bounce of his weight moves the mattress as he sits by my side.
“I am so sorry, beautiful,” he whispers so quietly I barely hear him. “I just…” He stops. “I wish you’d give me a chance to explain everything.”
A strand of my hair moves away from my face, his finger slowly tracing a small line from my forehead to my chin.
Crack goes my heart.
“Please don’t ignore me,” he pleads, pulling his hand away.
My traitorous heart yearns for his touch the moment he stops.
After a moment, when I remain silent, he sighs. “Just don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.”
He rises from the bed.
Thank you, Big Guy. I don’t think I can hold it in any longer.
I strain my ears, waiting for his footsteps to move toward the door. Instead, they come closer to the other side of my bed and stop.
So, you’re on his side, Big Guy? Didn’t you see what happened in the studio? He has a girlfriend.
Not wanting the act to fail, I remain still, expecting at any moment for the mattress to shift again with Samuel’s weight or a slight touch, but nothing.
The footsteps slowly move to the back of the room toward my desk. I dare to open one eye and catch him removing a picture from my board. He takes a good look at it, then slips it into the pocket of his leather jacket before leaving my room, quietly closing the door behind him.
For a few minutes, I stay in bed to make sure he really left. When I open both eyes, I scan my room, making sure he’s gone, and my eyes stop at my bedside table. A rose lies there, together with a folded piece of paper.
Curiosity gets the better of me, and I open the folded piece of paper and, not wanting to alert Kellan that I’m awake, I move to the window for the dim streetlights to help me read it.
I know things between us aren’t fine, and I hope you talk to me when you’re ready. But, can I please ask you to not take it out on Mom or David? They’re looking forward to seeing you.
And, please, be careful.
Samuel.
I may be angry, sad, and heartbroken over Samuel, but it’s not David or Miranda’s fault. I’d never hold them responsible for what he did.
When I glance out my window, my heart momentarily stops. Samuel stands on the street below, his eyes looking straight at me as he puts his phone away. Either my sleeping act didn’t fool him, or the cameras gave me away.
I hate those stupid things!
He raises his eyebrows and points to what appears to be his letter in my hands. His sad face breaks my heart…again.
I give him a nod.
“Thank you,” he mouths.
Not wanting to see him anymore, I turn and walk to my board, stopping to see which picture he took.
No, not that one!
I sigh.
A couple of days ago, Lyra gave me a printed picture of the photoshoot, the one where Samuel holds me, his arms around my waist.
I’ve caught a beautiful angel, he’d declared when Lyra shot it, both our lips holding a big smile, our gazes locked together.
Crack, crack, crack goes my heart again.
Probably, it’s for the best. I need to stop having false expectations.
I immediately dismantle my board, removing all the pictures from it since every single one reminds me of him. My hands stop at the pictures of Grams and Mom.
From what I understood of Zach’s story about Mom, she didn’t have a happy ending in the love department, yet she managed to keep her head held high and a positive attitude for the sake of us, her kids.
She even gave her life for me, urgently driving me to the emergency room, which caused the accident.
And with Grams, life threw her a lot of curveballs, from losing her husband, then their daughter. But she kept on fighting for our sakes, making hard choices for her grandkids, even when it meant sending me to Saint Magdalene while she dealt with my siblings.
They were tough women. Their failures made them stronger, teaching them how to survive.
I need to learn a thing or two from them… And, from Abigail.
Using a quote from Vince Lombardi that Miss Johnson liked to tell me after failing several times when trying to learn a dance move:
The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall.
And so, I shall. It won’t be immediate, and it’ll take time, but for my own sake, I must.
Right now, my main priority lies in protecting my heart, even if it means building a protective shield around it, because I never want to experience this pain again.
Boys are trouble. Why did nobody warn me about this, Big Guy?
About the Author
Maya William is a new, upcoming author who loves spending time with her two kids and her loving husband.
She likes to explore alternative realities through a good book, an awesome movie, or by plotting her next installment with the help of Miss Inspiration.
Also by Maya William
White Dove
Somewhere to Belong
Finding My Wings
Learning to Soar
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